A letter to a dad who will call this emotional bullshit...
One day you're going to walk through your pathetic little house in a pathetic little town with 20 year old family photos lining a thin hallway of a stupid two bedroom home, and you're going to feel empty. You will look at these photos that you pass everyday and one of your kids will stick out. And you'll wonder what she looks like now, what do her kids look like, why'd I let that relationship get ruined? Then you're gunna sit on your pathetic chair in your ugly living room and wonder what she did with her life, and why you’ve never gotten a Christmas Card. Then you’ll probably go fishing and for some reason on this day its different. You could see me down river from you trying to unhook my line from a tree, untangle my flys at the tip of the rod, and me ranting about how ill never catch shit, and you'll realize that I never did land that steelhead because we never went on another trip. We never had breakfast at Dave’s again, went to another hockey game, and you never got a ford to pull your fifth wheel, because you don’t even know if you have grandkids, how old they are, what they look like. If I’m married.
And in my house there aren’t any photos of you because I wasn’t part of your amazing life, so why should you be part of mine? You weren't there to walk me down the aisle because I didn’t want you there, you weren't there to find out the gender of your first grand kid because I didn’t want you there, you most definitely weren't there when that baby was born, and you weren't there for a first birthday cuz I probably wont want you there for that. Now it's the holidays and you want to come but you honestly don’t know where I live, so you wonder if I make the dinners the same way that you did, if the whole family is there, and if you'll be invited next year. To which ill tell you the probability is slim and unlikely. And you'll wonder if I got to go and see the world, or if I followed my dreams. If I have a good job, if my house looks like my Pinterest board, if I’m happy. But I wont feel empty like you. Ill feel stress free, like all the egg shells were swept up and I didn’t have to tip toe anymore. However it'll be sad to not get to see you sitting at a kitchen table during the holidays, teaching your grandkids how to fish, play ball, or take them to games.
So you'll sit in your pathetic house with your ex wife's ex best friend and wonder as you sit there lonely and old if it was all worth it. To never see your kids again, never have another huge family dinner, new family photos, or the summer to spend with your grandkids that you so desperately wanted. And not a single one will have a name that is remotely similar to yours. You'll never be able to be called papa, and you'll sit in a pathetic shop crafting till your last days unhappy and unfulfilled. Always wondering what if. So enjoy your amazing part of your life and stay away from me while I’m building mine. Go and do awesome art and leather working and fish till you cant move. But that will be all your life consists of besides a few friends down at the local pathetic pub. And live out your final days smoking, drinking, and lonely.
I can make my own decisions in my life right now and I’m starting with this one. I don’t want you in it as you’ve actually already made that one for me. My life may be idiotic, foolish, or a one way ticket to hell, but ill take your advice and fuck off and do my own thing, and you can sit in your pathetic house in a pathetic town on a pathetic chair and always question if your amazing life is indeed amazing…
jacobvanloon
ellievsbear
kianamaiart
dailybridgerton
snowghoul
areudirty
