Vicki, but not so icky

yeah, so what? I'm back bitch.

[vicki-cucumber]

Why did you decide to move to Bumblyburg? (Vicky? Vicki? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE IF YOU DIDNT SEND THIS)

"I just like... needed a change. I wanted to be with Vicki."

[vicki-cucumber]

❛ promise me you won't cry anymore. ❜ from Esther

"I don't cry. The tears would pickle me."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

'you're the weird guy!' from whichever vicky/i is chewie

Archibald looks around the large cast of characters, and returns his view to the blonde cucumber. "Me? Of all of them? That's where you land?"

[vicki-cucumber]

"Yeah, it's like, that weird voice or whatever."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

To the tune of a very familiar Archibald line, he countered "It's not a weird voice, I'm British!"

[vicki-cucumber]

"Call it what you want. It's weird."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

"Don't tell me you're a Taylor Grape girlie."

[vicki-cucumber]

"I literally don't know who that is."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

'you're the weird guy!' from whichever vicky/i is chewie

Archibald looks around the large cast of characters, and returns his view to the blonde cucumber. "Me? Of all of them? That's where you land?"

[vicki-cucumber]

"Yeah, it's like, that weird voice or whatever."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

To the tune of a very familiar Archibald line, he countered "It's not a weird voice, I'm British!"

[vicki-cucumber]

"Call it what you want. It's weird."

[thearchibaldasparagus]

'you're the weird guy!' from whichever vicky/i is chewie

Archibald looks around the large cast of characters, and returns his view to the blonde cucumber. "Me? Of all of them? That's where you land?"

[vicki-cucumber]

"Yeah, it's like, that weird voice or whatever."

[vicki-cucumber]

"when was the last time i saw you?" from rev. gilbert aka dad asparagus

Victoria looked at the Reverend with a long, cold, you-know-what-you-did look. "I'd say five years, eight days, two hours, eleven minutes, and 9 and counting seconds. Give or take a few hours. Have you finally come to apologize?"

[theoneandonlydadasparagus]

"Me?" He raises a veggie eyebrow. "Miss Victoria, all I remember is that you stopped coming to the church. If there was anything I did to cause that..."

[vicki-cucumber]

"I stopped coming to the church because of what you did at that party," she said with a sharp tone. "Or, rather, after. You think I wouldn't remember? It was dark, but I know that asparagus in the alley that night was you."

[vicki-cucumber]

"when was the last time i saw you?" from rev. gilbert aka dad asparagus

Victoria looked at the Reverend with a long, cold, you-know-what-you-did look. "I'd say five years, eight days, two hours, eleven minutes, and 9 and counting seconds. Give or take a few hours. Have you finally come to apologize?"

[thearchibaldasparagus]

She had a marvelous time ruining everything (Vicky)

"Are we talking about a certain rugheaded woman?"

[vicki-cucumber]

"What? Who's rugheaded?"

[vicki-cucumber]

"You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from where they pulled me apart" (to Vicki from Petunia)

Vicki tilted her head. "That sounds gross and painful. Did you like, have surgery? I didn't know that." She said, playing up her voice as she twisted a blonde lock of hair. "I would've sent a card. How long ago?"

[vicki-cucumber]

Our coming of age has come and gone (from Uno/Shannon/Cedric Goff Boi for Vicky with a Y)

"Why should I care?"

[theoneandonlydadasparagus]

"This may be something of an understatement, but you are not doing well." (From Vicki, with an I, I think)

Dad blinked at who Mariah is pretty sure is a total stranger to him. "My life's going great! My wife is back, and seems sober, at that. I have to healthy children, and I'm even in a bowling league with my idol!"

[vicki-cucumber]

Vicki flipped her hair and pursed her lips. "Right. Well, I've heard all the hot goss, and I'm sorry, but I don't think you're as happy as you say you are. I think you're... in that place, like, in Egypt? The nile? Like, your wife was definitely... in a bad place. Like the TV show The Good Place? But bad. Your son's got a bad rep, nobody even knows what's going on with your daughter -- is she real? And you've got to have some trauma from everything. And your 'idol'? I mean, sure, your traumatized idol who ALSO was missing for a weird period of time and randomly came back?" Vicki watched him slowly. "I'm just offering... I don't know, someone to talk to, if you need to. Because you totally can't be okay after all that."

[kilt-bagpipe-rhubarb]

"Do I need to worry about you?" (From Vicky)

"Ah, lass, ye've(?) heard the rumors. Ah, no, only the pretty ones need worry." He waved dismissively. "Yer safe as day old haggis at a buffet."

[vicki-cucumber]

“Who are the pretty ones then?” Vicky questioned, not caring about his comment as she wasn’t even sure who she was, really.

[vicki-cucumber]

"Why does every single strand of lights have one bulb that refuses to work?!" (from archie)

“Bitch, do I look like a light enthusiast? An expert? A fan?”

[thearchibaldasparagus]

"Bitch?!?" Uh oh, she'd done it now. "Listen here, you bottled blonde harlot - I was under the impression you worked at this fine Depot of Homes, but I suppose you lack even the skills for that!"

[vicki-cucumber]

“Oh my god, you think I’m a harlot?” She bit her lip.

[rumor-weed]

"Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree. ...Uh...what's the next line?" (From Vicky. With a Y. Since we know that now.)

"This is the worst caroling practice I've ever been a part of," Audrey remarked, shaking her head. "It's 'how heavy -- how many are your branches'?"

Actually, she was new to doing much Christmas Caroling. She knew the more popular radio songs, but that wasn't one they played often. Maybe, if Joetato Jonas or Taylor Grape had done a cover, they would have.

[vicki-cucumber]

“Not the hefty branches.” Vicky scrunched her nose up. “How hefty can a branch be, anyways?”

[vicki-cucumber]

"Why does every single strand of lights have one bulb that refuses to work?!" (from archie)

“Bitch, do I look like a light enthusiast? An expert? A fan?”

[vicki-cucumber]

‘ people like you always want back the love they gave away. ’ petunia

Vicki did not need this confrontation. Not now. She was on the edge of an emotional breakdown - when wasn't she, anymore? - and at this point, she had just wanted to get coffee. She hadn't expected to run into the pretty redheaded reporter who was currently dating Larry. She ignored her at first, grabbed a cup from the counter, and took a sip, then, turning around and staring Petunia dead in the eyes, she said, "Oh. This must be yours, 'Petubua'. It tastes salty." She held out the coffee dramatically. "So people aren't allowed to have lingering feelings now? Are you the feelings police?"

[sweet-sweet-petunia]

"Chai isn't salty." she sighed, before shaking her head. "Look. I know you and Larry have...a history. I'd just appreciate if you kept it that way. As in, in the past. And it's not fair to him to come back claiming you have all these feelings when, from the stories he's told me, it seemed like you were stringing him along back then."

[vicki-cucumber]

“You don’t know my side of things. You don’t know how I felt or how I feel.” She said, continuing to nudge the drink towards Petunia. It did in fact have Petunia’s misspelled name on it, so she really had just purposely drank out of it to be petty. Her lipstick stained the lid slightly. “I can’t stand girls like you. You think just because you’re hot, you can just get away with anything, right? Like I literally just came here to get a coffee. I didn’t even speak to you. You confronted me.”

[vicki-cucumber]

‘ people like you always want back the love they gave away. ’ petunia

Vicki did not need this confrontation. Not now. She was on the edge of an emotional breakdown - when wasn't she, anymore? - and at this point, she had just wanted to get coffee. She hadn't expected to run into the pretty redheaded reporter who was currently dating Larry. She ignored her at first, grabbed a cup from the counter, and took a sip, then, turning around and staring Petunia dead in the eyes, she said, "Oh. This must be yours, 'Petubua'. It tastes salty." She held out the coffee dramatically. "So people aren't allowed to have lingering feelings now? Are you the feelings police?"