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Misplaced Lens Cap
blake kathryn
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@kilt-bagpipe-rhubarb
❛ what, you're still alive? ❜ (From Kilt Bagpipe Rhubarb)
@kilt-bagpipe-rhubarb
Roots crossed over her chest with visible irritation, Kendra couldn't help the indignation in her voice. "I go oversees for a few years and suddenly it's like I'm dead to you? Low blow, old man. Low fricking blow."
"Och, thought ye left us for dead, and seein' how many bodies have turned up and disappeared, I figure'd ye were another. Though yer no asparagus, so that might've saved y'."
"A Message From Archibald Asparagus, a Known Square" (from Kilt Bagpipe)
His little Asparagus lip scrunched up, much like that one face Kermit the Frog makes sometimes. "At least I'm not a hippie degenerate."
"I heard ye were a furry. Degenerate hippy seems like exactly ye are. Can ye be a square and a degenerate? Ye sure make it work, ye bonny numpty."
"Oh, don't speak to me in that way!" Archibald recoiled, disgusted. "Only my wife can say such things!"
"Yer wife calls ye a bonny numpty? I wonder... where'd she pick up such a line?" Kilt smirked.
"A Message From Archibald Asparagus, a Known Square" (from Kilt Bagpipe)
His little Asparagus lip scrunched up, much like that one face Kermit the Frog makes sometimes. "At least I'm not a hippie degenerate."
"I heard ye were a furry. Degenerate hippy seems like exactly ye are. Can ye be a square and a degenerate? Ye sure make it work, ye bonny numpty."
do you remember our encounter in paris? (Main verse, from whoever is funniest.)
“Well, Kilt, we both know how hard I try to forget it.”
"Och, but it was a bonny night. And I got this wee li'l Eiffle Tower keychain to remember it by. The way ye showed me the corners of Paris like the shadows were as much a part home to ye as the sun. The way we cursed in our native languages at American tourists, confusin' 'em. The perfume I wore. The cologne I spilled on ye. The way they chased us out for me breaking the perfume display in that French mall. Aye. Bonny night indeed. We did 'ave an adventure, dinnae we?
"Taking my time, cause you took everything from me" (from Archie)
Kilt spread a slow, mischievous grin. "Ah, I did, did I? And what did I take from ye? A life ye didn't appreciate? Come now, can't blame a pretty redhead for all yer problems."
"Hnnn!!" Archibald's eye squishes up "NO!! You ruined my reputation! My loving childless family!!!!"
"Yer reputation? It takes two to tango, Archie. Childless, was it? Strange, I remember... two... no, three wee ones? Were they not yers? Who else could've fathered the wee-est ones? They looked just like ye. And I certainly don't recall much love. Can ye prove I did anything? Really? What do y'remember of me?"
"Taking my time, cause you took everything from me" (from Archie)
Kilt spread a slow, mischievous grin. "Ah, I did, did I? And what did I take from ye? A life ye didn't appreciate? Come now, can't blame a pretty redhead for all yer problems."
are you gonna try to nickname yourself again? (miss acmetha)
"Ach, are ye gonna do et? Or should I nickname ye and ye nickname me?"
"Ew. No. Nicknames are like...so bougeouis."
"Aye. I will call you So Bougeouis from now on, So Bougeouis. SB for short."
"God, why do you hate me? That was rude. That was really fucking rude."
“Do we ‘ate each other? I thought we were unlikely party mates, lass. D’ye want a formal apology letter or somethin’? We cannae go clubbin’ this early, but bars open soon, I can buy ye a bevvy or two til ye get blootered.”
"I mean, like, we totes were but now it's like...you kinda gave me the ick with the whole SB thing." She shrugs her invisible yet slender green onion (as per a veggie tales wiki) shoulders. She then pauses. "You like, wanna get drinks tho?"
“Well, what’d ye rather be called? Ye go by ‘Miss’ as if it’s yer first name after all.” He added, “Aye, let’s get ourselves some bevvies - err, ‘drinks’, lass. That’ll put this all behind us. I’ll be yer wingman if ye’ll be mine.”
are you gonna try to nickname yourself again? (miss acmetha)
"Ach, are ye gonna do et? Or should I nickname ye and ye nickname me?"
"Ew. No. Nicknames are like...so bougeouis."
"Aye. I will call you So Bougeouis from now on, So Bougeouis. SB for short."
"God, why do you hate me? That was rude. That was really fucking rude."
“Do we ‘ate each other? I thought we were unlikely party mates, lass. D’ye want a formal apology letter or somethin’? We cannae go clubbin’ this early, but bars open soon, I can buy ye a bevvy or two til ye get blootered.”
are you gonna try to nickname yourself again? (miss acmetha)
"Ach, are ye gonna do et? Or should I nickname ye and ye nickname me?"
"Ew. No. Nicknames are like...so bougeouis."
"Aye. I will call you So Bougeouis from now on, So Bougeouis. SB for short."
are you gonna try to nickname yourself again? (miss acmetha)
"Ach, are ye gonna do et? Or should I nickname ye and ye nickname me?"
"Do I need to worry about you?" (From Vicky)
"Ah, lass, ye've(?) heard the rumors. Ah, no, only the pretty ones need worry." He waved dismissively. "Yer safe as day old haggis at a buffet."
“Who are the pretty ones then?” Vicky questioned, not caring about his comment as she wasn’t even sure who she was, really.
Kilt shrugged. "Eh, most of 'em. I'm not picky. Get in the right light... be available, single... just flat out not be interested..."
"Do I need to worry about you?" (From Vicky)
"Ah, lass, ye've(?) heard the rumors. Ah, no, only the pretty ones need worry." He waved dismissively. "Yer safe as day old haggis at a buffet."
"We should totally hang some mistletoe." (From Kilt)
“Why? So you can get all up on this?”
"Why? D'ye wanna get all up on this?" Kilt countered, motioning with his accursed scallion hands to his body. "Now, I'm not sayin' nae, but, think of all the smoochin' from others. The chaos. The kissin'. Sounds like fun t'me."
"You’re supposed to wrap the tree in lights, not mummify it!" (from katrina and sabrina I forgot i had that blog lol)
"Ach, I think it's right pretty. Good, sturdy, pretty lass of a tree, got her jewels shinin', aye? Why'd ye wannae see any green?"
"Uhhh, so people can tell it's, ya know, a tree?" Sabrina replied as if it was obvious.
"Why's it gotta be a tree, lass? Does Christ's birth not mean the same without a tree? Do ye need mistletoe for an excuse to kiss? Nay. It's not about what's under the ornaments, it's about how many are on the tree!"
"You’re supposed to wrap the tree in lights, not mummify it!" (from katrina and sabrina I forgot i had that blog lol)
"Ach, I think it's right pretty. Good, sturdy, pretty lass of a tree, got her jewels shinin', aye? Why'd ye wannae see any green?"
‘ fighting with you was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer. ’ (From... your choice of a Ryan muse, for Jerry)
Jerry smiled obliviously at @kilt-bagpipe-rhubarb "Crosswords usually have multiple right answers. You can put whatever letters you want in there."
Kilt listened to Jerry's advice, and he nodded momentarily, and then said, completely without any discernible accent because he could not be bothered to put one on for this nonsense, "I went to Yale, Jerry. I can guarantee you are doing crossword puzzles completely fucking wrong. Your brain is beautiful and sexy, and I am very intrigued by it, but it is also wrong. Sexy wrong, if that's possible."
fmk the last three veggies on the dash
(Oscar, Mr. Lint, Banker, skipping the children and my own muses for obvious reasons)
"Aye, I like this game. I'd fuck Mr. Lint for sure. Wouldn't ye? Kill Oscar, get rid of the competition. And I'd put a ring on the Banker's invisible hand, ye? Seems like he'd be a good time to 'ave around."
