You guys will get some joy out of this. I thought I would, but now
that im fat ive never been more depressed, nor embarrassed in my
life. And it isn’t going away. Ive almost accepted that not only am
I never gonna get that six pack back that ive always had, but im
just going to continue getting fatter. The packet of salt and
vinegar chips next to me agrees. And I blame websites like this for
what I did to myself. ive become my own feeder.
Ive always had a great body. I knew when I walked into a bar, 9
times out of ten I had the best body in the joint. And in a tight t
shirt and a mouthy arrogance I let every body know it. Im that dude
who was always taking his top off and strutting around so everyone
could see how hard and chiselled my body was. My ever growing
muscles. It was a good feeling, guys were jealous of me and I knew I
was a chance with any girl. Hell in summer I basically never wore a
top. Now im dreading next summer and when I walk into a bar im just
another beer bellied ex jock.
People go on about personality, its bullshit, id rather fuck a hot
chick than a smart one. Girls are no different. The amount of times
Ive had girls with their hand up my top rubbing their fingers along
my abs telling me how great my body was. Even when I starting
putting on weight, people would talk about what great shape I was
in. They just assumed that underneath my now baggy winter clothing
was the same six pack. I knew I was hiding a beer gut.
The last girl I fucked (a once regular,now a month ago). when I took
my clothes off and jumped into bed with her, she grabbed, one of my
now love handles, shook it, and said “whats this”. I ignored it
with “a yeah I know”. After the deed she kept rubbing and pinching
my belly, and telling me that she cant believe im getting fat, and
how great she used to think my body was. She was incredibly drunk.
Normally I strut around when im naked so the girls can see the show,
but that next morning I cant tell you how embarrassing it was
sucking my gut in, squeezing into my jeans. The smile on her face.
Bitch.
Since then shes told anyone who would listen how fat im getting.
From then my body has gone from a thing of pride to a thing of
embarrassment. The 2 kilos ive put on since then hasn’t helped ( 6
and a half since the end of summer, where this year I had an eight
pack), my guts now clearly visible even my baggy clothes. Now me
getting fat is everyones favourite joke. Theres comments everywhere.
Everyone one seems to be really enjoying the fact that ive put on so
much weight.
Ive always had a fat fetish despite being a gym junkie. It started
with loving watching the girls while I was growing up, that had the
hot bodies in their teens, only to gradually become the fatties. I
started visiting the websites showing this. But over time the weight
gain became my place of sexual fantasy. The age and even gender no
longer mattered so much. I started jacking off to mens weight gain
sites. The arrogant jock whos beloved six pack became a beer gut. It
got to the point where I fantasised about a hard bodied dude fucking
me up the arse, while stuffing my face with cake and pure oil,
teasing me about how fat and pathetic im going to get. I love the
stories of the person who had the perfect body, and everything with
it, but lost it because they started loving their food a little to
much , and started getting a little lazy. The exjock, the
cheerleader who got fat. And all the ridicule that comes with it.
This fantasy has become my reality. The last few years I would get
on these websites and stuff myself with food, tease myself that I
was going to get fat, while masterbating. Soon as I was done id
panic and work out and diet in fear that I would actually gain and
some one would notice. But Ive discovered I love stuffing myself
with food. I get so turned on by that feeling of being completely
full. Its got to the point where im now stuffing myself everyday,
ithink about it all day.getting home and stuffing myself with junk
food and masterbating playing with all that fat that has stored
around my middle. Im doing it now. Once I ejactulate now however, I
hit that depressing reality that this is no longer fantasy, the abs
are gone and I am now fat. And I hate being fat for the other 95%
of the day. And I did it to myself.
Last year and again this year I designated the month of june
(Australia winter) as a stuffing month. A month where I could live
my fantasy, eating all the junk food I want. Last year I put on a
kilo and a half. When June ended I went back on a diet and lost that
weight in 2 months. My hot and hard body was back on the beach for
all to see last summer.This year I put on 2 kgs in june, and my diet
lasted all of 2 days in july before I was back to binging. And I
cant stop. I put on another 3 kilos in july. And for the first time
in my life im starting to accept that im probably always going to be
fat and im just going to keep on getting fatter. Ive made the
decision id rather be fat than diet.
I always told myself I could lose the weight as soon as I wanted. It
doesn’t seem to be the case.Being a personal trainer ( im thinking
of quitting, being the personal trainer who got fat makes me feel
like a joke every time I walk into the gym), I always said people
choose to be fat and that anyone could have a body as good as mine
if they were disciplined ( I regret a lot of arrogant things that I
said now). Im finding it a lot harder than that now that im the fat
one who wants to have a body like I used to. I cant stop eating.Fuck
I miss having those abs. You get away with so much with a hot body.
I miss the confidence that goes with it, I miss the confidence, I
miss the sex. My sex life has gone from picking up chicks usually
when I felt like, to masterbating each nite with a pizza. And I did
this to myself.
Two weeks ago I left a party because of the amount of shit I copped
when I got in the spa. I bought a shit load of mcdonalds, went home
and masterbated in front of a mirror. After I ejaculated, I looked
at myself and started crying. It was patheitic, I am pathetic. I
threw up all the food and declared im training and dieting until I
get my body back. I really tried but what used to be easy to me is
now really hard. I hopped on the scale yesterday to see how much id
lost and id gained ½ a kilo. I cheated on my diet the whole way
through it. Kept justifying that it was alright to have that packet
of chips. And everytime I got stoned id binge eat. Now for the first
time even in front of other people. I was constantly hungry, and id
almost always give in with a second helping and a snack. I don’t
think I can diet anymore. Or at least im no longer willing to. I
hate being fat and want my body back but I think I love food more.
And I know cant give up the beers. I just have to accept that im
going to be a fat person for the rest of my life and im struggling
with that. Ive always had such a great body, I thought I always
would. If I didn’t discover these websites I probably still would.
The really scary thing is that this only the beginning of letting my
body go. Im going to get a lot fatter. Even if I managed to control
the binges, now that ive gota taste for junkfood, I know im still
going to put on weight gradually. Gaining a couple of kilos each
year But I know the binges are going to continue, I get so aroused
when I do it, my mind changes I get amazingly turned on about how
fat im getting while im in the act of doing. I cant stop im like
addicted to it, im thinking about it all the time. And heres the
thing if I continue eating like I have the last month im not just
going to be fat im going to be obese. And I think im going to let
that happen, cause I want eat like a pig.Eat anything I want. Hows
that, from the muscle stud of the group, to obese. No ones ever
going to be jealous of this body again. Its harder to be fat when
you used to have a great body. But I know the fat jokes will
eventually disappear when my hard chiselled body becomes a distant
memory. I still do have thoughts that il turn it around and get my
body back, but if I put on another 5kgs in the next 2months that
chiselled body is going to be so buried in fat im going to have to
accept that il never be able to get it back.
As embarrassed as I am about what has happened to my body around
most people, I thought you guys would enjoy and appreciate it. Im
now the fat ex jock, the guy who had the hot body but let himself
go, im the guy who used to pick on other people about getting fat,
now everyones laughing at me, im the exercise freak who started
smoking dope, drinking beer and got lazy. And finally im the guy who
said it just takes discipline to have a great body who developed a
food fettish whose eating is out of control. Im the guy who has a
made the decision that he is going to be fat.
Im posting this on a bunch of weight gain sites. And I still say if
I never found those sites I probably never would have became so
obsessed with weight gain and never would have starting stuffing
myself. But it happened, so this summer instead of strutting around
the beach showing of my always amazing physique, I will be waiting
for all the comments and stares when I take off my top and everyone
can see how fat and flabby my body has become because I eat like a
pig.
Well with that done im now going to masterbate and play with my ne
fat roll. It does feel good.
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
izzy806
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
2087
