Ragnarssons Are F**ked Up

Fanfics, imagines, art, memes and other stuff, We simply need more blogs and people to appreciate this masterpiece, i take requests and stuff like that, main spirtualmagic, Twitter @themuseless

[vikingsarememes]

This Blog is Archived

I'm really sorry that I will discontinue this blog, I don't have further muse for it, any further vikings related publications will take place on my main blog @themuselesswriter

I've only kept it up because there are so many works in here that you guys loved and support.

This was a lovely journey for all of us and I'm very thankful for it!

I might finish posting the posts I already have prepared but other than that, this blog can be considered archived.

[vikingsarememes]

Guess who got distracted by side projects? 😌

[vikingsarememes]

Of Broken Rabbits - Part 2

Previous part

Characters: Ivar “the Boneless” Ragnarsson x Reader, Ubbe Ragnarson

Summary: You are still locked in your chamber, Ubbe visits you to convince you to survive, and eventually you were convinced, and Ivar, well, he is trying to be kinder

Word count: 1251

Warnings: mention of abuse and bickering

A/N: none

Credits: photos from Pinterest, editing app is picsart

---------------------------------------------------------

The day had passed, all of the maidens’ attempts to convince you to accept Ivar’s offer failed, you felt yourself grow weaker within the hour, too tired to lift a limp, the day became two and two became three, that’s when you had an unfamiliar visitor, Ubbe, you recognized him from the doomed wedding “Y/N, you look awful” he had told you, you glared at him weakly “what are you doing to yourself? Is this really how you wish to pass?” you nodded “Freyja will have mercy on me” you replied, he laughed “Freyja couldn’t care less about her subjects, otherwise, Ivar would’ve been different” 

You looked at him with teary eyes, you were about to cry if you weren’t too dehydrated and tired “look, Ivar… he has a unique way of showing his feelings, one minute he is the sweetest, the second he wants to burn everyone alive, don’t allow yourself to die a meaningless death because of his tantrum” you didn’t say a word “what is it that he wanted anyways? For you to look nice and eat with him? You can do it, live another day to fight another fight”

His words  made sense, the closer death is, the more you realized, if you die, then it is another girl who will fall a victim of his “bring her mead” he requested from the maidens who obeyed immediately, he took the jar and placed it near your mouth “drink, believe me, this act of bravery is not worth it” 

Spiteful, you drank the mead, emptied the jar, Ubbe smiled at you, he got up and looked at the maidens “help the queen into a gown, she will be dining with us tonight” they obeyed, and you allowed them to dress you and fix your looks, the problem was not you, your death would’ve been meaningless, the problem was your husband, his death would mean something, a better life for the people of Kattegat and ensuring that no woman or maiden will go through his cruelty again.

When you entered the great hall with Ubbe by your arm, guiding you to your rightful seat, all eyes were focused on you, especially Ivar’s, his feelings were mixed between relief and anger “look, my beautiful bride is feeling better” he exclaimed, people cheered, once you were seated, the food rushed to you, of all kinds, drinks as well, Ivar remained quiet.

The night went smoothly, few cheered for you getting better, you guessed Ragnarsons told them that you fell ill, Ivar tried to keep his distance as much as possible besides a few stairs, mainly to make sure that you are still alive, you remained quiet aside from sharing pleasantries with the people of Kattegat.

Returning to your room, you felt your heart clenching, unsure of his reaction, he limped to the bed and took off his braces, and rested his feet on the mattress, you saw the pained expressions on his face, you undressed yourself and re-changed to your nightgown then laid on your side of the bed, ignoring his existence, however, gods had different plans.

“I’m glad you didn’t die out of stupidity” he mumbled, his eyes forward, looking at the fire “you are so stubborn, it is tiring! Why can’t you just accept our lives the way it is?” you scoffed and turned to face him “life? What life? You don’t talk to me, you hit me and we are not even wedded for a month, you stole me from me from my village and you starved me to death!” 

The king rolled his eyes “in my defense, you starved yourself and disobeyed me” you looked at him angrily “I’m supposed to be your wife, not your subject! You supposed to respect me, care about my wellbeing, I’m supposed to be your wife” he furrowed his eyebrows “I respect you, I never humiliated you in front of anyone, I always praise you in your presence, and it’s not like you respect or care about me!” 

The man was getting on every nerve you have, you couldn’t hold back your tongue “are you fucking kidding me? I literally tried to be kind to you and I was met with a don’t tell anyone what happens in the  bedroom, I tried to care for your wellbeing and you hit me! Tell me, what respect can remain with actions like this?” you snapped “I apologized!” he snapped back “saying you are sorry is one thing and meaning it is another!” you attacked back “gods I wish I never met you!” he groaned, shifting to his side of the bed, giving you his back “oh believe me it’s the most mutual feeling we have” you did the same.

You tried to sleep that night but you couldn’t, you kept shifting on the bed, uneven from the days you laid still and waited for your death, Ivar was sensing every movement, it was no surprise when he groaned and sat, glaring at you “woman enough!” he demanded, you rolled your eyes “i’m trying to sleep, not my fault” he rolled his eyes “of course, nothing is ever your fault” he said sarcastically, you wished you had a dagger next to you to stab him right there.

You didn’t reply, he took a deep breath, calmed himself down, and laid down, his attention focused on the ceiling, quiet, for a minute or so “I’m sorry, I’ve been treating you roughly, when I’m mad I don’t see what’s in front of me” he mumbled, you shifted and looked at him “almost sincere” he frowned “it is sincere!” it was, you could feel it, you simply didn’t want to let it go that easily.

He shifted to look at you instead of the ceiling “let’s start over, pretend the last month never happened” you hesitated “I will be kinder to you, I will be a better husband” your hesitation grew, but those piercing blue eyes were making it difficult for you to remain mad at him, you still wanted him dead, but you wanted to believe that he had more to him aside from being a complete psychopathic king.

You sighed and nodded, he offered a gentle smile “thank you Y/N” you didn’t reply “let us spend some time tomorrow, just the two of us, we can do whatever you wish” you wanted to list things you wanted to do, like walking in the fields, swimming in the rivers, playing with the children, but you knew none of these activities was an option anymore, not with your so called husband at least, you thought for a moment “we can go to that farm I saw across from here, with the small abandoned house, we can spend the day there together” he nodded “I will send the servants to prepare it for us at once” you shook your head “let us not, you are the one who said we should do as I wish, and I wish for us to be alone and uninterrupted”

He raised an eyebrow at you “you are a queen, you shouldn’t do mundane chorus like cooking and cleaning” you shrugged “for tomorrow, I’m not a queen and you are not a king, we are a man and a woman” it took him a minute but eventually he was convinced, you grinned, perhaps, away from the flashiness of a ruler’s life, a different side of your husband will appear, a side that made Freyja certain of the wellness of this match.

[vikingsarememes]

Ragnar: Am I a bad father, Ubber?

Ubbe: my name is Ubbe

Ragnar: it’s not what I asked about!

[vikingsarememes]

Funny jokes according to AI - Part 2

[vikingsarememes]

Of Broken Rabbits - Part 1

Next Chapter

Characters: Ivar “the boneless” Ragnarson x Reader, Bjorn “Ironside” Ragnarson

Summary: Y/N is being forced to marry the cruelest of Ragnarsons to keep the peace of her hometown, she sees Ivar’s cruelty first hand and finds an ally in the most unexpected places. 

Word count: 1422

Warnings: mild aggression and violence

A/N: Hi, so… it’s been a while since I published any kind of fics here, so yeah, enjoy and let me know what you guys think!

Credits: photos from Pinterest, editing app is picsart

------------------------------------------------------------

You wept as you walked down the aisle with your white dress and flowers crown, cursing the day you heard the news, you were happy, the daughter of an Jarl that lived in Oslo, a place far from Kattegat, but gods decided that when you go to buy milk in the market with your brother, the king of Kattegat would come across you and admire your presence.

He had threatened your father and brother, you either marry him or he will terminate your entire village, you had begged your father to decline, telling him of a death sentence that he was agreeing on, his first was sent to madness, his wife was murdered by him alongside with his unborn child, but your father reminded you of your duties and sent you off to marry him, sealing your fate with doom and misery.

He sat at the end of the aisle, a crown on his head and a man in white robe ready to marry you, all eyes on you as you tried to held back tears, your father didn’t attend the wedding nor allowed your brother, you were all alone, the ceremonies went hazy the moment you arrived the altar, it was meaningless conversations and congratulations from different people.

After the wedding you were accompanied to your husband’s chamber, he requested to have private time with you, everyone respected their kings’ wish, you stood frozen in the middle of the room “don’t worry, I have no interest in your body” he had told you, untying his leg braces, lifting the damaged ones on the bed to rest “then why did you marry me?” He shrugged “because I wanted to” his answers only made your blood boil “go on, make yourself comfortable, this might become your home for a while”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down then took off your white dress and replaced it with sleeping gown, you crawled into the bed, sobbing quietly, that’s when you felt his breath on your neck, your eyes were open wide “I know you are awake and that you can hear me, if you tell anyone that nothing happened between us I will sacrifice you to Loki” he whispered, you felt your body trembling with fear.

That night you cursed your father and brother for not being strong enough, for not telling him off, for giving you to a monster as if you were nothing but a replaceable treasure of theirs.

**

The celebratory week passed quietly, Ivar ignored your presence unless someone was watching, his brothers looked at you with pity, knowing too well that you are miserable in this marriage, who wouldn’t be? Imagine marrying the bloodiest man, one that can not walk, one that can not defend you, one that can not give you children, one that can not love.

When you walked down the alter that day, your father’s words repeated themselves “a woman who knows how to love a man can make a rock turn into water” you had hope, that your presence will matter to him, that perhaps he will love you or at least acknowledge your existence, you had hope that the rumors were untrue, but you were nothing more than an arm accessory to him.

**

He returned one night, wet from the rain, barely able to stand with his crutches and braces, a feeling of worry took over you, you rushed to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to drag him into the bed, he pushed your hand away “don’t, I’m fine” he said aggressively “let me help you, no need to play a strong act in front of me” you whispered, soothingly, but your gesture was met with a slap on the face “I said I’m fine woman!” 

You fell on the ground, your hand right where his handprint was left, with tears in your eyes, you looked at him “you- I wish I never met you” you said, picking your fur coat and running outside of your marital chamber, sobbing, you stood in the rain, trying to wrap your head around what mistakes have you made for the gods to be so cruel to you with this marriage.

You cursed yourself, you cursed him, you cursed your father, and your brother for being too weak to save you from this doomed fate, you prayed for Odin, for Freya and even for Loki to have mercy on you and take your life.

You were sinking in sorrow that you didn’t notice the man standing in front of you until he cleared his throat, your weeping eyes moved to his sight, Bjorn Ironside, Ivar’s brother “Y/N, what are you doing here?” he said, stepping closer, you shook your head, he noticed the handprint on your cheek and sighed “did Ivar do that to you?” 

“Why would you allow such a monster to marry? You are the son of Ragnar, the bravest, yet you couldn’t find the guts to tell him that wedding me is not right” you bursted, the man looked at you with pity, he took off his cloak and covered your already wet one “let’s go somewhere warm before you fall ill” he spoke softly, you rejected his offer and handed him his cloak “let me be, perhaps I would die and my misery will end”

The man sympathized with you, truly, but you knew he wasn’t able to do anything about your situation, you knew he wasn’t going to help you, all he could do is pity you.

Bjorn stood next to you until you calmed down, your guessing was to protect you in case anyone decided to take advantage of your vulnerability, and when you were finally calm, you returned to your bedchamber, the maidens prepared a warm bath for you, and you tried to relax as much as possible, ignoring the man staring at you from the bed.

Once you felt warm enough, you dried your hair by the fire and headed to your shared bed, your back to him, if you can’t get out of this marriage you might as well ignore it, you closed your eyes, that’s when you heard an apology, followed by the  placement the gentlest kiss on your cheek, the one where he hit you, a kiss that you couldn’t believe is coming from the same man.

You didn’t move or say a word, you waited  for him to sleep before you could, although he apologized but part of you still feared him.

The next morning you woke up with him gone, and three maidens showering you with food and gifts “what is all of this?” you asked sleepily “King Ivar had requested that we bring you our finest” the maiden had replied, you examined the items, fresh fruits, gowns of silk, cloaks of the rarest fur, jewelry from different raids, the gesture was nice, if only it wasn’t to beg for your forgiveness “and where is king Ivar?” you requested “breaking the fast with his siblings and the earls, do you wish we call him?” you shook your head.

“Tell him that I reject his gifts when you see him” you told them then returned under the fur blanket, the maidens’ faces were colored yellow of terror, who dares reject anything from the king “but my queen-” one of them pleaded “I don’t remember stuttering” you snapped, they lowered their heads and left the room at once.

It didn’t take long for Ivar to storm into your bedchambers, angry, you knew from the sound of his unpaced crutches and the dragging of his foot, he glared at the maidens who knew it was their cue to leave “why are you being difficult, huh? I apologized, I brought you gifts, what else do you want?” he yelled at you, you rolled your eyes and sat up “I want for you to leave me alone!” you snapped “I can have you beheaded for picking that kind of tone with me” 

You scoffed “please do, it is a better fate than a lifetime with you!” your answer caught him off guard, he was surprised, speechless for a moment, you could swear that you saw sadness in his eyes as well “fine! You can stay here until you rot” he said calmly, then looked at the maidens “she is not to leave the room until she accepts my offerings, if she does not wear one of the gowns and the jewelleries and come dine with me, then she is free to starve to death”

[vikingsarememes]

Funny jokes according to AI - Part 1

[vikingsarememes]

Ivar: I keep my room pretty clean, except for the trash under my bed.

Sigurd, sleeping on the bottom bunker: honestly fuck you!

[vikingsarememes]

Who has countless finished work in their drafts but is too lazy to publish?

[vikingsarememes]

Oh my gawd I’m stoop I’m not gonna teach you, it’s a me thing! uwu 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Okay now listen up, lemme teach you how!

1- go to https://synesthesia.me/see-your-name#/

2- scroll down until you see this thingie, write down the name in the box and screenshot it!

2- then what you want to do is find an application that allows you to select colors from photos, i used picsart because it’s amazing, i opened it then chose the draw option, the colors grid, then used the colors analyzer to pick the exact shade from the photo, i later pressed on the lines on the left and changed to RGB, what matters is the numbers on the scale

3- later I went to this website https://artincontext.org/color-mixer/

4- what you want to do now is scroll until you find a ( + ) square then press it

5- a small window should pop up, enter the numbers from the picsart RGB (or hex, you can use the arrows selected in yellow to change the default from RGB or HEX or the color’s code) then press okay once done

6- once done, go to the color you created and add the percentage you want by choosing the options circled in weird green, the percentage depends on how many times the letter is repeated, for example “bob” we add 1 of the color that represents “o” and 2 of the color that represents “b”

7- lastly, scroll up to see the mix and the colors in a satisfying palette!

@where-beauty-goes-to-die I hope this is helpful! Give it a try and lemme know how it goes!

[vikingsarememes]

Ragnarsons as colors

Bjorn “ironside” Ragnarson

Ubbe Ragnarson

Hvitserk “White Shirt” Ragnarson

Sigurd “Snake in the Eye” Ragnarson

Ivar “The Boneless” Ragnarson

Story time:

So today I discovered that names have colors! Each letter represents a color and when mixed together the mixture represents the entire name so naturally, I did our beloved vikings guys! And I’m super excited about it! So… here are ragnarsons, suggest who should i do next 😹

[vikingsarememes]

Sigurd; hey mom…

Aslaug: yes honey?

Sigurd: How long can someone breathe in a washing machine while it's running?

Aslaug: why do you need to know?

Sigurd:

Sigurd:

Aslaug: WHERE IS IVAR?

[vikingsarememes]

Me, writing a new multi chapter fic: okay so in this story, Y/N will hate Ivar with all of her guts!

Me, after a couple of chapters when I mistakenly made Ivar too appealing and Y/N is now falling for him: well, fuckity fuck!

[themuselesswriter]

Roleplay starter for Freydis (vikings canon) & Ivar the boneless (vikings canon)

Partner in crime: @all-is-fair-in-love-and-war

The rays of the morning sneaked upon the window, announcing the beginning of the day, the newly wedded queen of Kattegat opened her eyes, glancing at the man laying beside her, how she slept one day a slave and woke up a queen on the next, she traced a line on his back, a soft smile on her face.

How few words and actions changed her fate, now she is married to a man that is feared and respected, she sleeps on fur, in the warmth of fire, she wears silk and the best kinds of cotton and the rarest fur, she has a collection of her own jewellery, that her husband gave to her for her affection and kindness.

Not that she needed to be bribed, she was already sold on the man, she enjoyed his company, he wasn't like the others, he knew how to hold a conversation, he cares about details, he cared about her and he listened to her, took her opinion as an equal not a property or a beautiful face.

She hugged him from behind, spooning him, she placed a soft kiss on his shoulder "Ivar, wake up darling it's the morning" she whispered softly into his ears, placing a hand on his shoulder and few kisses behind his ears, a gesture that she learned he liked in the past few days.

She knew the game she played was dangerous, she heard of his short temper, she's seen it first hand but she believed that she can handle whatever he throws at her with her kindness and cunningness "we have plans for today, remember? You were going to take me somewhere" she whispered softly.

[vikingsarememes]

So… you know how I disappeared from this blog? I’m trying to regain my muse through roleplays and watching countless Vikings videos and I might even start watching few episodes soon! If you’re into roleplaying or whatever sort of writing or have requests for specific oneshots when I return to the blog, let me know!

[themuselesswriter]

Kattegat Dessert and Sweets

Characters: Ragnar Lothbrok, Rollo Lothbrok, Floki, Bjorn, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd, Ivar, Aslaug, Lagarths, Torvi

Summary: in a world, where Vikings is a reference to the workers of a sweets cafe, Ragnar Lothbrok, runs a cafe with the aid of his five sons, a documentary about their work and life is being filmed by a show named Behind the glass doors, that shows the struggles of being a worker of a successful place, the stress, the tears, the laughs, the breakdowns, all exclusive. Basically an AU where our beloved Vikings are in a modern setting and instead of invading lands they make cupcakes and cookies.

Word count: 13323

Warnings: alcoholism, ptsd, implied death, drugs

A/N: this is unfinished work which will probably remain unfinished because the writer is museless but you can still enjoy it

Credits: Filter -viking by me, image- pintrest

———————————Teaser————————————

Kattegat, the famous dessert and sweets cafe which everyone is obsessed with nowadays, the hipsters like the authenticity of the place and now, you need to book a table to eat here on the weekends! Kattegat has been in the Lothbrok family for a few years now, Ragnar Lothbrok bought it from Mr. Haraldson, it is now run by Ragnar Lothbrok and his five sons, but life’s never been as magical as it seems.

11:30 a.m.

A fiftyish years old man entered an office in the back of the restaurant with the cameramen following him, filming everything, not leaving any details out, he seemed both, uncomfortable and eager “remind me, how does this work?” He asked as a nametag showed on the left Ragnar Lothbrok, manager, it read “we’ll film every second of your lives for the next week, and use the clips in an exclusive show that’s called behind the glass doors, you’ll have to do interviews and such, it’s like keeping up with the Kardashians, only better and it’s for people who actually earned their fame through hard work” the man behind the camera replied “oh, I’m familiar with that show” Ragnar replied with a smile.

“alrighty then! Let’s start! When did you buy this place?” The voice said again “I bought it when my son, Bjorn was only a child... I believe around ten? I’m bad with dates, I was broke, not the infamous Ragnar, I lived in a studio apartment with Lagartha and my two children, I was just a dish boy at first, cleaning up after people, Haraldson fired me for wanting a promotion” he laughed “I disappeared for a while, worked hard in different jobs, then I heard Haraldson was selling the place, me, Lagartha, Rollo, and Floki… We put our money together and bought it, and now we own branches in Iceland and France!”

“How did you come up with the dessert idea?” The voice asked again “well, funny, it started as a cupcake shop, we had cupcakes to die for, we still make them, Lagartha always liked cupcakes, one day I thought what if we make cookies too? Lagartha didn’t like it, she said we should focus on cupcakes they are our masterpiece, and leave others, for now, I refused… our first try to sell cookies, wasn’t successful and it caused problems, plenty, eventually, Lagartha left the job, then me, Bjorn and Gida with her, then Aslug came and I started a new life, had children… four, and developed the shop, you know, life goes on, but most of those desserts are Bjorn’s ideas, he’s an explorer! He comes up with something new all the time!”

“How’s life as a manager?” , “as the manager, I have to deal with papers more than anything, I’m retiring soon though, all of my children have a role here, Bjorn will take my place as manager, Ubbe will be hall manager, Hvitserk will run the kitchen, Sigurd will handle the social media and Ivar will do the economic stuff, all I did by myself when I was younger but now I can rely on my boys.” Ragnar replied then looked at a family portrait on the wall

“what about Gida?” The man asked “Gida’s more into a simple life, restaurant stress isn’t for her, she’s helping refugees in Saudan instead as a teacher” The next minute was Ragnar going through papers and checking up on their other branches, the France branch was on fire but Iceland needed more work according to their latest statics

02:05 p.m.

Two tall men were whispering to each other in a corner, as the camera went closer the name tags appeared reading Bjorn, the hall manager, and Ubbe, the host. it was midday and more than half of the tables were taken “boys please, keep your mics on you all the time! It’s in the contract!” The producer, Holly Smith begged behind the camera “apologies, we were talking about a private matter” Bjorn said bowing his head “you agreed, no secrets or privacy for the next week, if you gonna discuss dirty matters, the whole world gotta hear it” she replied and the boys laughed

“dirty matters? No! We were discussing what to put for tomorrow’s special!” Bjorn laughed “yeah, our lives is that boring, that when we have a chance we discuss even more food matters” Ubbe added.

“I don’t believe that! But since we’re talking food special... Can we know what it will be?” the voice behind the camera asked “no spoilers! That’s the first rule in show business” Bjorn winked at the camera then looked at the door as it opened, he nudged Ubbe’s arm and sighed “we have a case of thirty-nine” the camera turned and showed four middle-aged women walking in, Ubbe walked to them and greeted them then helped them find a seat.

Continue reading

[spacegoldilocks]

hey babe! Do you take requests ? İf you do could you do a story with these prompts? And ofc with bjorn please?

Prompts : "Would you do the same for me?” & "don’t touch me!” &

“Did you ever care about us? Or was that another one of your lies?”

Hi! My stance on requests is that I’m not gonna encourage them, but if they come in I’ll see what I can do. There’s no guarantee I’ll do them but if I get an idea then I’ll write something down. But I’m also a very slow writer so no promises I can get anything done quickly lol

That being said I liked how angsty these prompts are so… I hope this ok <3

Bjorn x F!Reader

Tags/warnings: ANGST (given the prompts, whew), implied sex, no use of Y/N

Word count: 1.2k

It had been a long few months. In the time he’d been gone his son had gone from being so small he could hold him across his palms, to being able to sit up by himself and showing tiny little teeth whenever he smiled.

He sat on the throne, sulking. Mourning the lost time with his precious little boy. But he didn’t tell you that. He’s not good at telling you how he feels.

So when you sit next to him, your son asleep in your arms and Bjorn can’t even look at the two of you despite having been apart from his family for months, it hurts.

Firstly, he told you he wouldn’t be away for too long. In his own words, he would return home in time to hear the sound of Olle’s first laugh. But you first heard that sweet sound more than two moons ago, and you wept because Bjorn wasn’t around to hear it. And now, he refuses to pay you the attention you’ve craved everyday for around half a year.

You look down at your son who sleeps through the noise made by the men celebrating their return, and back up at his father who casts his gaze into the crowd and fiddles with the cup of ale in his hand.

You don’t want to be here.

“Bjorn,” you call to him, and he finally looks at you. “I’m tired. I’m excusing myself.”

He’s been looking for an excuse to cut his celebrations short, and this is it. “I’m coming with you.”

He follows you, shadowing and watching your every move, like he’s forgotten how you do things. You carry little Olle in your arms, cradling his head against your shoulder and stroking through the wisps of blond hair that he got from his father.

You lay your son down into his crib, running your thumb over his round cheek and placing a blanket over his tiny form. When you turn to leave, Bjorn’s blocks the way.

“Are you alright?”

You scoff. “Am I alright?”

He looks down at his feet, and you notice his jaw clench as you spit his question back at him.

As you go to slip past him he stops you, grabbing your arms with a tight grip. “Can we talk?”

To go from him ignoring you to handling you like this and burning a hole through you with his eyes startles you. “Don’t touch me!” You hiss, keeping your voice hushed not to wake Olle as you rip your arms free from his grasp, finally sneaking around him and out of the room.

“What is the matter?” His boots stamp across the floor as he follows you into your shared bedroom.

“You can’t find out for yourself?” You turn around as he closes the door with a heavy thud, meeting his strong gaze with a glare of your own.

“Why are you being like this?”

“I - we - wait for you to come home. I wait for my husband, Olle waits for his father, and then you act as if you don’t care. You act like a stranger, Bjorn.”

He realises what he’s been doing wrong. “I cannot imagine how hard it was.”

“Would you do it?”

“Would I do what?”

“Would you do the same for me?” You feel the familiar creep of tears into your eyes, threatening to spill through your lashes and you try to swallow them. “Would you wait, for months, for me to return? Bjorn, I didn’t even know if you were alive.” It didn’t work, they run down your face anyway. “Would you stay here and look after Olle, not knowing when or if I’d ever return? Would you feed him? Hold him? Could you?”

He whispers your name in an effort to calm you - but it’s much too late.

“Could you wait here, spending every day wondering if I was alive and being reminded of me every time you looked at our son.” You try your best to slow your rapid breathing, as he stares at you with his mouth agape. “Answer me. Would you do the same for me?”

“Of course I would.”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, biting back a second wave of tears. “No, you wouldn’t.”

He waves his arms in defeat. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Tell me you missed me. Tell me you love me. Spend some time with your son. Say anything because you’ve barely said a word since you returned.”

“I just-”

“You left. You told me you’d return soon, and Bjorn, I know that things happen on raids that are unpredictable but I just feel lied to. You missed his laugh.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” His voice is quiet, a stark comparison to the loud words you’ve been choking out. “I thought about you all the time. I care about you so much-”

“Really? Because you don’t show it.” You feel the anger rising through your body, coursing through your veins and spreading like wildfire as he looks at you dumbfounded. “Do you care about us? Did you ever care about us? Or was that another one of your lies?”

You screw your eyes shut with your rant finally over, taking deep breaths to let your heart beat slower.

Bjorn doesn’t know what to do - whether he should leave or say something or just get into bed and sleep. He doesn’t do any of that. He can’t stand there and let you think he doesn’t care or that he didn’t miss you or that he didn’t think about how different his son would look when he would finally see him again. He can’t.

He walks towards you, taking a risk because you could just shove him away and tell him you don’t want him. That’s his worst fear.

He puts his hands on your shoulders, his large palms spreading warmth even through the fabric of your dress. When you barely respond, he pulls you against his chest, engulfing you with strong arms.

You sob. Your breathing picks up rapidly again, and somehow being held tight to his body -  the heat radiating from him and the familiar scent of his skin - it calms you down. It’s something you know. It’s home.

“I promise you,” he breathes deeply as you quiet your sobs to listen to him. “I will do everything to make up for the time I lost. For every minute we spent apart.”

He takes your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks as he kisses your eyes and follows the trail of tears to your lips, capturing them in a hard kiss.

You part your lips for him, and his mouth is hot as you let him kiss you deeper. His hands wander to push the neckline of your dress down, and as soon as his lips leave yours, they’re on your collarbone and kissing a path that follows where his hands go.

“And I shall start with you.”

[vikingsarememes]

Vikings VS The Circle

Here’s a hint of what each of Ranger’s boys would be like if they’d enter The Circle TV show!

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

Bjorn Ironside:

༄ would definitely enter the competition as himself but everyone would think he’s a catfish.

༄ focuses on having fun to the point he forgets to make alliances.

༄ “Bjorn is the name, an athlete, an adventurer and a genuine being #keepitreal I have four younger siblings and I’m a momma’s boy under those huge puffy muscles, I’m here to have a blast and steal some hearts”

༄ Would be blocked first because no one would believe he is real

༄ in the departure video, he’d guilt everyone because they didn’t believe him, but also encourages them to stay true to the game and themselves.

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

Ubbe Ragnarson

༄ ubbe would also enter the competition as himself and everyone would agree that he’s real 100%

༄ doesn’t make alliances but makes friends that would have his back

༄ “hi guys I’m Ubbe, a loving husband and a father of three, I’m a family guy who spends his days playing in the backyard with his kids when not working, i own a small farm so you bet I love animals”

༄ would make it to top three then gets blocked.

༄ in the departure video he’d give everyone positive vibes and act like the big brother he is to everyone, and everyone will be sad to see him go.

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

Hvitserk White shirt Ragnarson

༄ would enter the competition as a girl because he thought it would be hilarious and everyone would believe it.

༄ flirts with the boys so he could stay on the good side and make few alliances here and there.

༄ “Hey babes! I’m Hera and I’m a 23 years old recent graduate so you know I have plenty of debts! I’m an only child to loving parents and I love traveling, cooking and occasionally taking naps! #yourfriendlyneighborhoodtomboy “

༄ would make it to top two but then he’d be blocked

༄ he’d congratulate the winner and be friends with everyone in the competition then invite them for a celebration when it’s all over

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

Sigurd Snake in the Eye Ragnarson

༄ would enter as a catfish and everyone would know he’s a catfish

༄ doesn’t make any alliances because he’s too busy trying to cover his traces

༄ “my name is sam I’m a 20years old college student who’s majoring in music, i play the oud, I have an annoying younger brother who recently passed #foreverinmyheartEvan I’m a laid back dude who enjoys meeting people so hmu”

༄ would be blocked fourth after causing unnecessary drama

༄ would spill some important tea before he leaves and break few alliances

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

Ivar The Boneless Ragnarson

༄ would enter as himself but wouldn’t tell the whole truth so he’s a part-catfish?

༄ he’s the most strategic player and would make plenty of alliances, with him every move is counted for.

༄ “I’m Ivar, a youngster from Kattegat who enjoys reading a little too much, strong spirited, I’m here to make friends and have fun, I have a lovely dog named Bones, and he’s my entire world, I work as an IT and studying Law at KU #fightforthevoiceless”

༄ he would win the circle.

༄ he’d use his money to buy a house for his family even though he doesn’t really get along with them.

⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼ ⇼

A/N: hello loves! It’s been a while since I posted anything in here I know I’m sorry but I’ve been focusing most of my attention on writing crappy AO3 stories, anyways, I’m really trying to write again so I created @themuselesswriter to post whatever I feel like, all fandoms related so yeah! I’m excited!

[youbloodymadgenius]

"He would win the circle." Of course, he’s Ivar, right? 🤣🤣

Welcome back 🤩 I missed you ♥️

[vikingsarememes]

I mean, what else do we expect! 😂❤️

Thank you! I missed you too! It’s really good to be partially back again 😭❤️