Sangwoo’s intentions in chapter 20
There seems to be a lot of controversy and so many different opinions about Sangwoo’s behavior in this chapter. I will give you my opinion and tell you why I think the way I do, please keep in mind that I do not claim that this is the one and only truth - it’s just my conclusion.
(source for all panels is lezhin’s killing stalking chapter 20 by koogi, please support the comic by buying the chapters on the official lezhin website)
The first reaction Sangwoo gives us is in response to Bum being quite held back with his expression and feelings, Sangwoo asks him again and again about his feelings, in a way that really shows us that he wants a stronger reaction, I assume a positive one.
I believe that this is his genuine reaction and it gives us a good glimpse into what he wants and expects. Everything that happened after that is a response to his disappointment in Bum’s reaction to this “big event” he had prepared.
After asking again and again, trying to get some kind of different emotion from Bum, Sangwoo grabs him to drag him up and outside - on their way he continues to belittle him in a way that is supposed to show Bum how disappointed in him Sangwoo is. And this is the point where, in my opinion, his true feelings and the manipulation start to mix. While I do absolutely believe that he is in a way hurt disappointed, the fact that he tries to guilt trip Bum makes it look like very intentional manipulation to me.
“I guess I was right, I mean nothing to you. Then it’s the same for me.” Sounds a lot like emotional manipulation. Telling Bum in other words “Look, you hurt me and didn’t show me love, weren’t thankful and happy despite me doing so much for you, so you don’t love me, you hurt me with that. And I guess because of you being like that, I can get rid of you, right?” This implies that Bum can change the situation with his behavior, and gives him the “chance” to prove to Sangwoo that he does actually love him. That’s 100% intentional on Sangwoo’s part.
He even uses Bum’s own words he had used while killing Jieun “disappear” - I can really see that being intentional to force an emotional reaction from Bum, since this is what made Sangwoo angry in the first place - he wanted intense positive emotions and instead he got a rather silent, held back Bum who claimed to “feel nothing”. With his manipulative and emotionally “pressuring” behavior he’s trying to force the reaction he wanted in the first place.
After that we can see them struggling and Sangwoo tries to push him out of the house, here his tone seems to change a bit, almost mocking Bum, which just supports that he’s actively manipulating him: “Hm?? I thought you said you don’t feel anything??”
The pure fact that Bum is able to walk back inside (a tiny, skinny, limping guy) shows that Sangwoo had no intention of actually throwing him out of the house but simply wanted to provoke a reaction. He could have pushed him or held him in place, but he didn’t, because he didn’t want to, he didn’t want Bum to go.
After Bum is back inside, Sangwoo seems rather calm and collected for a while, since at least now it seems to be going the way he wanted it to go. The situation develops to the point where Sangwoo sticks the dildo/dick (I’ll talk about that in a separate post) inside of Bum, no preparation, which obviously hurts him but Sangwoo’s reaction is this:
He shows very clearly that he thinks that Bum wants it like this, (is only acting like it hurts) which makes it the only relevant reality in his mind. Bum shows very clearly that he is in pain, and I don’t think that Sangwoo specifically loves this fact, but in his mind - this is what Bum wants, Sangwoo has already decided that this is what is supposed to happen, making his own decision more valid than the actual real time reaction he’s getting from Bum. He expects Bum to react the way he wants him to react, everything else is wrong and unacceptable, annoying to him.
This causes him to, again, manipulate Bum by threatening him to stop, accusing Bum of only “acting like he wanted him” - putting the guilt and blame for the situation on everyone but himself, implying that with a better reaction, Bum can make this work. And it actually does work, in the sense that Bum tells him clearly that he doesn’t want him to stop. Another “win” for Sangwoo.
He continues to penetrate him and after Bum tells him “All I want is you, just you, stay by my side.” He gets what he wanted. We can see him smiling, which I think is genuine, because he asks Bum to repeat it, seeming very pleased with what he’s hearing.
“You don’t need to say any more, all I wanted was the truth.”
This seems to be the reason for everything he did up to this point (in this chapter) - all the manipulation and back and forth was because he wanted to see, hear and feel that Bum loves him, needs him, wants him, no matter what, is completely obedient and dependent on him.
After Sangwoo seems sure about that we can see some real emotion breaking through - he gets more aggresive and rough with Bum, at the same time starting to blame him again, really engraining it into his head that Bum has to stay by his side, giving him all the blame for the murders he commited, alone and with him together.
He makes it clear to him: You HAVE to stay with me, because you are at fault for what happened, you don’t have any other option than staying with me. By manipulating him like this he can not only force Bum into a state of submission but also put himself in an even higher position. By pushing the blame for his own bad actions onto Bum, his hands are clean, because in his mind Bum is at fault, he made these things happen. This shows us how much of an abuser Sangwoo is, not just on an obvious physical level - he blames one of his own victims for his bad actions, despite him being the one in power, 100% and at all times.
I think that Sangwoo is not aware of how much he actually needs Bum, but instead turns and twists it until they both believe that Bum is the one who needs Sangwoo, and that Bum is the one at fault for everything, implying that he should be happy that Sangwoo is there for him, despite having caused all these bad things. It makes it seem like Sangwoo is the only person Bum has, is the only one who would accept him like that (which is true in a way, but Sangwoo as the abuser has caused most of these bad things in the first place), be there for him, when in reality Sangwoo needs Bum to put all of the blame and guilt onto him, to take it off his own shoulders, to feel superior and good about himself.
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