Zoe Not Zoey @vilestrumpet - Tumblr Blog

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I want to say this bc it does not get said enough: most grief you experience in your life will have NOTHING to do with death.

This is not talked about enough and as a result ppl struggle to process grief bc the world is telling them that grief is something else.

Grief is about loss, and IF you’d like to define it as a loss of life it is not restricted to loss of life via death. Even then I’d implore you to not view grief as about death or life but again, just loss.

Grief is also about having a shitty childhood that nothing can fix even if you have healed from it as an adult; your childhood was shitty and there’s nothing retroactively you can do about it. You grieve the loss of thriving your past self was denied.

Grief is about friendships that ended abruptly, confusingly and again, there’s nothing you can do to change that. You just have to sit with it. This is the only way grief can ultimately be processed and all it wants by the way: to be accepted and sat with. That’s it.

Grief is about opportunities that have passed, experiences you can’t have because of the way situations have ended up, and having to accept that while you do have your whole future ahead of you, there were some things you wanted to be a certain way then and they weren’t, aren’t and will never be.

Grief is being estranged from your family and missing family closeness even though you do not want to be closer to your parents, because you’re grieving the fact that there is a healthy part of human life you will not experience through them.

Grief can be the job you lost, the plans that fell through, the events that spiraled out of your control

If grief is strictly about life and death, understand that it includes grieving the life you never had and the death of who you used to be, too.

But moreover, grief is about loss.

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If my writing helps you consider > donating here,< as FOSTA/SESTA has taken most of my income and I need support as I finish school so I can establish my work.

piercednipples

Totally . After my girlfriend died a lot of my friends said ‘I don’t know what you’re going through because I’ve never experienced this. As one friend said: ‘You have gone to a country I have never been to’

But later on, they would talk about their divorce, or their loss of jobs or trauma or other kinds of loss, and what it did to them. The grief, saying goodbye to a life you would’ve loved to have, deep sadness, anger. And I recognized so much.

And yes, parts of dealing with death are quite unique to it, in my experience. And they can maybe only be shared with people who have gone through something similar. But a lot of it is not so alien.

#helpful

kerink

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

agayworthfightingfor

heres a link for anyone who wants this in PDF format!

riotdyke

One of the things about being poor that nobody every really tells you is that no amount of telling yourself “poor people deserve nice things” will ever really get rid of the guilt behind spending money

riotdyke

Genuinely sucks how much this one resonates with folks lmao capitalism is so evil

kropotkhristian-deactivated2019

I don’t understand people who refuse to give money directly to the poor and hungry, but apparently give to charities, when they say “That way, I know where my money is going.” No you don’t. That is the quickest way to lose track of where your money went. You have no clue what that charity did with your money. You have no meaningful way to find out either. If you give directly to the poor and hungry, you know exactly where your money is going - to that person who needs it. You couldn’t be more sure about where your money ended up. It ended up in that hungry person’s pocket.

#it's a dogwhistle #they always mean drugs #as if they themselves do not drop massive amounts on dabs and coke too #it's anti poor people experiencing pleasure bullshit

peggy-sue-reads-a-book

With the holidays coming up this is everyone’s reminder to

Ask little kids if they’d like a hug first

If they say no, verbally affirm the reasonable shit you just heard. “You said you wouldn’t like a hug. We won’t hug.”

You don’t even have to redirect with a high five, even though that’s fine. Touching isn’t for everyone.

Do not say upsetting things like “where is my hug?” Clown, you don’t own hugs.

It is fine to model consent by placing boundaries on touch. “Let’s wash your hands before we cuddle.” “I’m leaving this couch if you continue to yeet your foot into my pregnant belly.” “that was fun but I’m going to take a break now.”

Touchy children are not inherently sweeter. Love languages exist at any age.

Some kids like touch but not eye contact. A hug from behind is a good one or “let’s close our eyes and squeeze really tight. Ready?”

I’m dead f*ing serious there are people who want your physical affection so badly but need you to modify your approach. Just like there are people who want to get into buildings but need ramps.

Don’t comment if a kid shows affection to another adult but not you. They’re weird like that but you don’t have to make it weirder.

a-dopo-nico

I cannot relate to ppl who see someone who’s incredibly fixated on one thing that gives them joy, and treat that as pathetic.

Like, if some dude who lives alone, has a job he hates, and only finds joy in his dog, spends all his money on dog toys and food, pampers the shit out of that dog, treats that dog like his child, I don’t see that as sad. He has something that he really cares about despite having things about his life he doesn’t like, and you know that dog is going to have a good life.

If someone is going to a school they hate, they don’t like the people they hang out with, they feel like there’s no joy in life except that they get to play minecraft when they get home, far be it from me to call that pathetic or lazy of them.

If some teenage boy is getting bullied, his parents are getting divorced, he can’t find a reason to make it though the day except to watch anime, good for him. I’m glad he found something he can enjoy.

If some girl has self-esteem issues, feels like she’s not good at anything, has no friends, but gets excited whenever she saves up enough money to buy supplies for a cosplay or go to a con, that’s amazing and I support her

If someone can only find joy in one, tiny thing, why would you make them feel pathetic for relying on that one thing to get through the day just bc you don’t get it or think it’s silly?

Even if someone has a good life but gets joy out of something you think is silly, there is absolutely no reason for you to treat their interests as pathetic.

(Tagging this with stuff like ‘cringe‘ and ‘cringe culture’ cus the ppl who use those tags need to see this the most)

sakuracardcaptorkinomoto-deacti

yourlocaladhder

Ya’ll read this thread ! It’s not something I have actively thought about but I think they make a great point here.

autism-adhd-information-blog-de

This is very interesting!

Rebloging for awareness.

Autism

slippery-minghus

adding the rest of the thread because WOW. if that isn’t it tho

desinteresse

Plastic surgeons hate her! Woman thinks her face looks fine like it is and appreciates her natural features and the balance and character they bring to her face