█ ▌⚜ C H A M P I O N

𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 ℍ𝔸𝕎𝕂𝔼 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕘𝕖

[vindiiicem]

me ? making a new blog ? just to make new icons ? more likely than you think.

[vindiiicem]

HEY ! ! ! if I’m following you from here, please note I’m just trying to keep track of cool blogs to eventually follow when I remake hawke, either on her own blog or on a multi - thank you for your time <3

[vindiiicem]

Since this blog got caught in the NSFW war I'm eventually going to move Hawke onto a viddy game OC multi??? I'll share it when it's done but Hawke was honestly my favorite muse to write for and I miss her so much...

[vindiiicem]

           “Well, look’y here--!”

[vindiiicem]

is that a complaint i hear?

suggestive starters   ///   accepting !!

              IT WAS ; a complaint, wistful and blatant, hissed playfully through full, scarred pout. he may not be the boss of her, but he was boss around here, and she was -- AS ALWAYS -- an ever so gracious and abiding guest with, as expected, only moderate whining. eyes narrow gently, sidling up to radiant inquisitor with the smell of t r o u b l e lingering on her leathers. he is ever so handsome. smiles, baring just the smallest sliver of pearly teeth that nip at bottom lip, words purred as THE CHAMPION slinks round his side ( too close ) ---   “   Never, your worship.   ”

[musingmemes]

suggestive starters meme ( nsfw )

why don’t you make me?

i like you better on your knees.

i can think of a few ways to shut you up.

i wonder if you’re as loud in bed as your are everywhere else.

try and stop me.

is that a complaint i hear?

i hope you’re not too fond of that shirt.

why are you siting over there? there’s a perfectly good lap right here.

i thought you liked it when i was bossy.

are you saying this doesn’t turn you on?

i can tell you’re hot and bothered from all the way over here.

i hope you don’t plan on walking much tomorrow.

you’re not the boss of me.

you’re hot when you’re angry.

don’t make me come over there.

i’m this close to taking you over my knee.

you’re being an awfully bad boy/girl.

you know you want it.

you sure talk a big game… but can you live up to it?

i’m not sure you could handle me.

is that a challenge?

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[vindiiicem]

SHE HAS NEVER BEEN PARTICULARLY GOOD at goodbyes or greetings. whenever she l e a v e s,  a wake of dust and ash remains ; she r e t u r n s with blood and reverent requests of forgiveness. and it never changes. she is a creature of habit, made out of nothing but silt, salt, and saccharine, vile pride --  and yet there exists such prevailing, perfect beasts who continue to love her all the same. and THEY are the only home she has – those people who’s names exist as a homestead in place of a house, who’s mere existence give her reason to live. it is such a dramatic way to be ; a dramatic way to think, and yet home long ago ceased being a place and became, without want or asking, a person. she wonders sometimes if he knows.

and then there is KIRKWALL, the city that still smells of ashes and smoke, the city she has not seen in so many years. the city that breaks her heart to look at even from her place on the docks, hanging on to bulking chains as if they alone keep her standing, shaking, in her boots. ashen hair billows in Kirkwall’s bated breath. grey, lovely eyes blink away the urge to cry. there was a time when Kirkwall was home, when her estate was safe and she had fallen in love ; with so many memories shattered with the deaths of her family and friends, the city was no longer home, but it was a welcome sight to sore and somber eyes.

she feels dreadfully unwanted.

and yet the city’s crumbled, leaking streets are familiar and comfortable, even in the dead of night ( comfortable… safe ) – the cobblestones are wet. they slosh in welcome greeting to the CHAMPION’S familiar boot heels. yes. familiar, but frightening ; the fereldan had aided in burning this city to the ground, for all her attempts to SAVE IT. aided the mages in their usurping rebellion, barreled her knives into the belly of Kirkwall and ripped it from its foundations. she had been, as much a savior, the BRINGER OF RUIN and she feels it. one side of the city smiles at her in the dark ( the elves, and the mothers, and the mages ) ; the other snarls ( templars and seneschals and disappointed dog lords ).

there is a purpose to her steps through the glistening streets, fingers finding every opportunity to touch and to tap at the buildings she had passed by every single day for a long and arduous decade. most are rebuilt ! she smiles. knows, instantly, who’s doing that is ( he had always been such a driven beast ). as much as she has wanted to return here, there has never been one single thing that could convince her, for the temptation to cry had always been too great for her to return ( even now, passing the hanged man ! so many first kisses… ). and even now, there is but one thing that brings her back, as has been habit for the past 6 years.

Varric.

at times, she wishes he hadn’t the hold of her that he does ; able to summon her body to the most vile valleys of Thedas with mere candied words on a damned piece of whiskey parchment. it had been the same all but a week earlier, a letter sent with her lovely hawk, scrawled in his most perfect hand the request for her RETURN to the city she destroyed. it’s lodged in her back pocket ( tear stained and half-ripped to shreds – ).

and it takes her a very long time to convince herself to open the door – has found herself standing at the foot of his estate – VARRIC TETHRAS, VISCOUNT OF KIRKWALL, SYMPATHIZER TO THE WRETCHED AND LOVER OF THE C H A M P I O N -- stands like a stranger, about to knock, tempted to run, yet aching to crawl inside. wants to curl up at the base of his fire like the DOG that she is. never leave.

she doesn’t remember opening the door ; wont remember the layout of his home, nor how many stairs she climbed until she sees him. she walks with a blindness, wringing her hands, until she sees him – sees the back of whiskey-hair through the open door ( he’s left it open for her ; she doesn’t realize ) and lets out a terrible b r e a t h – she’s been holding it for so long.

she’ll only remember, with aching lungs, how lovely it feels to BREATHE again, her knees meeting the stone floor by her lover’s chair ( for she has only ever felt b r e a t h in Kirkwall – only ever l i v e d in his company in Kirkwall ; she has been dead for so long ). a head of ashen hair lays itself sweetly in the flat of his lap, smells burning candles and leather on his skin – and smiles, the sweetest smile the Viscount has probably seen from his bird in so many years, a smile that looks like home. she is all but a crumpled fawn, leathered-limbs splayed haphazard on lustrous carpeting, lanky and looped ‘round her lover’s shins.

how ridiculous, she would think, were she able to think of anything but the hand in her hair – were she able to hear anything but the smoky, loving greeting of her lover, VISCOUNT, Silver Tongued in gold --   ❝  Welcome home, Hawke.  ❞

[vindiiicem]

Deep Ass Starters.

Sometimes it's hard to get in depth with your muse and their backstory, because you can't figure out how to bring those things up with others. Here are a couple of starters intended to make things a little more personal!

"What's holding you back?"

"I'm not comfortable with this conversation."

"Will you /ever/ be comfortable with this conversation?"

"Let me in sometime!"

"It's not that easy, you know."

"Help me understand."

"It's hard to connect with someone when all they do is push you away."

"Why are you always so cold?"

"Why are you always so happy?"

"Are you really happy now?"

"Who hurt you this badly to make you this way?!"

"What, did your ex mess you up that badly?!"

"Why do you keep fighting it any time you feel?"

"It's a problem, I get it."

"This is all kinds of messed up."

"That's not exactly a good coping method."

"So what happened, with your parents, really?"

"What was your childhood like?"

"Everyone has at lest a little bit of mommy/daddy issues. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"My parents aren't exactly perfect models, either."

"You were bullied? What for?"

"Was it hard? Coming out, I mean."

"You can't just run away all the time."

"You can't just hide all the time."

"Are you still thinking about them?"

"I'm not the enemy here. But this makes me wonder who the real one is for you."

"Is the reason you're so cold and defensive because you feel threatened?"

"How long has it been since you last spoke to them?"

"You never talk about it, why?"

"How come you're so different around them?"

"It's like you don't have a care or worry in the world."

"You seem so perfect. I don't get it."

"What was your ex like?"

"I don't think I was ever good enough for them."

"Are you not comfortable being intimate?"

"Why don't you feel comfortable being intimate?"

"Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing."

"Are you scared of being hurt?"

"Have you ever been taken advantage of?"

"Why are you afraid of saying I love you?"

"I never understood how someone could say those words so easily."

"You're hurting others the way you've been hurt in the past, don't you think that's ironic?"

"You use people to make yourself feel better."

"I'm scared of being used again..."

"Losing someone isn't easy, but you're making it harder than it needs to be."

"How long has it been since you lost them?"

"You're too attached."

"I'm not attached, I'm just comfortable with what I'm familiar to."

"Maybe the real reason you're so controlling is because, deep down you'd rather have them in your grasp than lose them."

"Why did you ever break up?" / "Why did we ever break up?"

[thequeerwithoutfear-deactivated]

pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that’s too many 

[missmajored]

v.iv.mmxvii.      RED RIBBON

[vindiiicem]

So I’m really fucking pissed so like this for a starter later on. I really need something to focus on

[vindiiicem]

[An AU wherein Hawke and Companions join the Inquisition]

Cassandra: Ser Hawke has graciously agreed to lead this Inquisition, provided that we give sanction to her Kirkwall associates as well. Inquisitor, allow me to introduce you to your council of advisors.

Josephine: I look forward to working with such illustrious denizens of the Free Marches.

Leliana: Yes, tales of your role in the Mage Rebellion have traveled far and wide. I am eager to hear them from your own lips.

Cullen: Not you assholes again.

[andashby]

Local hoodlum still has a face. More at 11. 

[vindiiicem]

@bloodsigh  ❤’d

             CALL HER ALL THAT YOU LIKE ; traitor, ruin bringer, champion. call her every word you know in every language you speak, but do not call her a COWARD. every day she looks into the face of a world that she f e a r s and walks along its belly as if she could swallow it if she tried. and she could. but that does not mean that her heart doesn’t race in her chest at the mere thought of so many things. she fears death ; but does not blink at the thought of it. she fears being alone ; and yet does not cry when she is lonely. she fears meeting her f r i e n d s after all this time should she be unprepared.

                and she is. wholly unprepared and wide-eyed at the mere sight of the e l f sidling along glistening streets in Kirkwall ( and the city still h a t e s her ). the elf with eyes made out of the emerald graves and the smell of b l o o d on her clothes. unmistakable. unquestionable.

                Merrill.

            there are no words she can say ; she has stockpiled them for 6 years, saved them for this very moment and yet – looking directly at her cherished, waifish friend, she cannot bring any of them forth. she stares, and hopes the elf will turn around, so she will finally have a reason to be standing so awkwardly in the middle of Darktown.

[vindiiicem]

@oathbroken  ❤’d

           HAWKE HATES TO HIDE and yet she has come to realize that it is, at times, unquestionably necessary. especially now. here. in the sky prison where Cassandra Pentaghast’s voice is shriller than any darkspawn scream, where howling anguish reaches the Champion’s ears even high up in the battlements. its made her creative in her search for places of safety among the inquisition ( which, she has accepted, there are few of ).

             she sits now in the somewhat hidden, darkened stairwell that smells of potions and spell-sparks ( it leads to the mages, and the r a v e n s she’s sure ). and she hasn’t been found out for quite a while, at least not by anyone who would feel need to let loose her secret. until now.

             willowing legs are draped along the risers, elbows leant on the stairs behind her, grey eyes sparkling in the dark ; but she grins at the man before her, s m e l l s who he is even before she sees him, and nods her head in FAMILIAL GREETING ( us saviours are a breed our own, don’t you know ? ) --- “   Good evening.   ”

[vindiiicem]

WE FOUND THEM ! 

Anywho, I’m drawing ( finally ) some new Hawke art that I’ll hopefully make into a new theme, so in the mean time like this for a stater later on !