He closes his eyes. I know well enough. He would lose, as he always did – he was in a losing battle from the very start. If she knew that much, then she should know that was the whole point. He could hardly defend himself with a sword that he isn’t equipped to wield, no matter how many protocols he had broken. Not against her. She seemed to know his patterns well.
Perhaps it was 2B that had taught her them.
The name makes his mouth feel dry – the name implied even without her saying it. She understood nothing. 9S takes a step back, wincing again, his own memories dancing before his eyes. What good does she think will come out of explaining why? He knows why, he knows why – he’s known since he saw red on that day, hurtling towards the enemy with only one thought in mind. If it was the last thing he did, was going to –
No. He isn’t like that. I’m not like you. Perhaps he had been wrong in his denials that day, but today, they ring true. He is nothing like A2. To put aside his own comfort to end the life of someone he so dearly loved, for her own sake – it was too great a burden to bear. He wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t selfless. But perhaps that wasn’t all he was afraid of. He didn’t want to kill her. I’m not like you. He cared about her. You want to be loved by all. But if he came close, if he had to, if she asked him to – if he had no choice –
To feel what she had felt… he couldn’t bear it.
To face the chance that he would enjoy it, revenge, hatred, overlapping and merging into a grotesque amalgamation, the bitter loathing for all of the loss he cannot recall, the chances he never had, the chance that it was what he wanted all along –
You’re thinking about how much you want to kill 2B, aren’t you?
“You don’t know a thing about me. About us!” Laughing bitterly, hands trembling, he holds his head high – voice raising the more he speaks. “I’m nowhere near that good a person! It must be nice, being a 2 model! It all comes naturally. Not leaving worthless people alone no matter what, even if they hate you, even if they ruin everything – why don’t you just give up?! I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you!!”
Who was it he was screaming about? Was it A2, or someone else?
Hatred pouring into you. Reality stained by lies.
He turns away, breathing heavily. So self-centred. So self-absorbed. So worth discarding. “This is the last time I’ll say it. Go. Get your own wish.” Unless you’re going to grant mine.
her resolve is of steel. a2 doesn’t waver or flinch. she’s been through real pain, immersed in her own rage long enough to know exactly how it feels to be in the other’s shoes. she also knows that sympathy is the last thing he’d want as well. however, it is the same reasoning that drives her to stay right where she is, feet firmly planted into soft white snow, taking each word to her very core like a freshly sharpened knife. it hurts. but removed the knife would double the pain, wouldn’t it?
she knows more than he could ever guess.
‘ you’re right. maybe you aren’t a good person. ’ that’s what he wants to hear. he wants to be degraded. he wants to be reduced to nothing. he wants to feel like nothing. ‘ not for now. but you can be-- ’
It must be nice, being a 2 model.
A2 smiles, bitterly so. she’s sick of herself, too. but more importantly, she’s sick of him assuming things.
‘ maybe it’s you doesn’t know about anything at all. ’ about me, about all the loss i went through. ‘ . . .you think i enjoy sympathizing with you? because i want to feel SUPERIOR? out of all the yorha models, i thought a scanner like you would be able to put two and two together. ’
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