I miss you. every inch of you. I miss holding you while we slept. bare skin pressed against bare skin, in our most vulnerable states, and yet never having ever felt safer in our lives. I miss constantly smelling you on my clothes. you smelled like a mix of peppermint and something I can’t describe. that was the first time i’ve ever been in love with a scent. I catch a whiff of it sometimes and I swear my heart chips away a little more each time. I miss the way your hands held mine; I’m sorry for all the times they were too sweaty or too dry. I miss the way your lips felt like soft flower petals when they kissed mine; I miss that most of all, I think. I miss our 12 phone calls a day, talking about nothing important but somehow talking about the whole world at the same time. How you wouldn’t even have to try and I’d be smiling bigger than I knew I possibly could. I miss your goofy jokes; I didn’t understand half of them but they were one of my favorite things in the world. I miss driving around, screaming lyrics to our favorite songs. you’re the only person that could make me not hate country music. I miss you parking in empty parking lots just so you could kiss me. I miss how you’d tickle me and make me laugh until I begged you to stop. I miss watching tv and snugging you for hours, letting your body melt into mine; I swear there’s no better feeling than holding the person you love while they sleep -I miss feeling safe like that; I honestly haven’t felt safe like that since. I miss our adventures at 6am to see the sunrise and the ducklings. you’re the only person I’d ever wake up before dawn for. you’re also the only person I’d ever go hiking with, and actually ENJOY it. I miss arguing over where we were going to eat, and who was going to pay. I miss everything that you are. every bone, every bruise, every hair on your head, every tooth, every tshirt you own. I miss every last drop of you. I don’t miss loving you though, because it’s the one thing that has never stopped.
