This Here Does Not Retain Consistency. @viognier - Tumblr Blog

onion not even doing satire at this point

once when i was ten, so seventeen years ago, i was on one of the neopets forums that was in 2006 frequented mostly by edgy teenagers with pete wentz urls who wanted to get around the ban on romance and gay talk to discuss mcr members making out. and it was well past midnight and i was secretly on an extremely clunky laptop the size of a modern desktop, sitting on my top bunk in the tiny room i shared with my sister. and i do not remember the forum topic at all but at some point one of the participants politely asked me, "hey, how old are you, anyway? twelve?" and when i honestly replied "ten," he responded:

"WOAH. Kid, you'd better get off the boards. Wandering the Neoboards at 2 AM is like walking nekkid through the Bronx with your wallet dangling from your nipplz."

and this frightened me so much i slammed the computer shut and went to bed immediately. seventeen years later i still remember this message word for word. including the filter-avoidance misspellings. i need everyone to know about this formative childhood memory. bronx wallet nipplz guy if you're out there hmu and tell me what ur deal was

teaboot

Thinking back to the good early days before my skin grew back when people could shake their heads at me and say "masks are a government conspiracy" and instead of navigating the bullshit like a normal person I could pull mine down and say "I have chemical burns on my face"

teaboot

things people expect in a political confrontation:

Facts

Logic

Emotional outbursts

Things they are never prepared for:

Open sores

headspace-hotel

This post: "Thinking back to the good early days before my skin grew back"

Me: off to a compelling start

communistkenobi

cats have such a beautiful relationship to space. I’ve never seen an animal so small able to take up half the length of a couch simply by sitting in the least efficient spot possible