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Masterlist
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Azriel
Aftermath Series (Completed) Part1 Part2 Part3 Part 4 Part5 Court of Calm Chaos (Ongoing)
Rhysand
Promises Made (Angst) (Oneshot)
Cassian
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The Snowflake and The Fire (Ongoing) Part1 Part2
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 9
Warnings: War, Blood, death, lying to oneself?
Author's Note: Hi guys! The majority of the poll was the Chapter 9, so here it is. I really didn’t know how to summarize this. There is ALOT in this chapter. Enjoy reading. Comments are open to all
P.S this is also a multi POV chapter
SERIES MASTERLIST
Two days. It had been two days since Lilith last saw Azriel. He had returned only briefly to warn them that Hybern shifting it’s army, then vanished again into the shadows
Feyre and Rhysand had created a magnificent illusion over the previous battle site, buying them time to regroup. Her sister was exhausted, her magic almost drained
Lilith, on the other hand, felt charged - power humming restlessly beneath her skin with no outlet. She had spent the morning helping the soldiers raise new tents at their relocated camp
The Illyrian soldiers gawking at her for her precision. Still, her magic strained for release
Not now A distant, primal part of her whispered. So, she forced it down and focused on the war.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
From their hidden vantage point, Lilith, Nesta, and Feyre watched the battle unfold below as rain poured down relentlessly
Hybern had played them. Cassian’s plan to pretend exhaustion for their armies had been the enemies plan as well. Lilith’s gaze kept darting across the chaos — to the three Illyrians and Mor fighting on the front lines. All of them exhausted. All of them still moving as one, cutting through the enemy with lethal grace. But the sheer number of Hybern soldiers was overwhelming, swallowing even Keir’s warriors.
Lilith gripped Feyre’s hand in a death grip, eyes locked on the battle “The line” She whispered “The sheer number…” She didn’t recognise her own voice
And then it happened
An Illyrian warrior with seven red siphons broke forward, taking the full brunt of the carnage. Nesta’s hand tightened around Lilith’s as she gasped in terror
Now that primal part of whispered It is time
Lilith looked at Feyre, whose brows were furrowed in concentration. She was planning something
A wave of panic and fury slammed into her through the bond. Lilith inhaled sharply, head snapping toward the battlefield
Cassian wasn’t stepping back. Another wave of panic hit her.
The buzzing under her skin turned into a roar
She turned to Feyre “Do you trust me?”
“What?” Feyre asked, confused
Lilith held her sister’s gaze, determination burning in them “Ten minutes” – “Trust me”
She didn’t listen to Feyre’s protest
Lilith stepped forward, splattering mud across her face, and winnowed straight into the heart of the battle.
Steel clashed against steel. A Hybern soldier swung toward Cassian’s exposed side
Silver-blue threads lashed out on instinct, wrapping around the blade and the male’s armour. With a sharp twist, the soldier hurled backward, crashing into his own line
The impact sent half a dozen enemies flying through the air. Their screams muffled as they hit the muddy ground
Cassian grunted blood streaming from a deep wound in his side, but his eyes widened in recognition when he saw her glowing form “Lily!”
She didn’t stop. Power humming through her veins, steady and sure. It guided her
Another line of soldiers charged their weapons raised. Lilith raised both hands. Silver-blue currents spread outward.
Armours bent and crumpled inward tearing like pieces of paper. The cries echoed again, as the enemies were liked by what was meant to protect them.
There was a constant roar of battle all around her. Rain poured her on her face, mixing with mud. Lilith stood at the center of it like a storm glowing light. She let another wave of her power out, this time expanding it with brutal force. Soldiers flew back, their screams lost in the downpour
Not to much That whisper said Enough
Cassian roared and rejoined the fight beside her, siphons blazing red as he cut down those who managed to slip through.
The familiar cool touch of shadows brushed her arms and legs. As she took a breath of relief. As Mor and Azriel came in view
She gave a sharp nod toward Mor, both of them racing to Cassian’s side.
Lilith’s eyes flicked towards the tent. She knew Feyre, knew she was planning something. Lilith called on her power, imagining Feyre, and winnowed from the battlefield.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
“Like calls to like” the Suriel said to Feyre, its voice a rasping whisper “You already have two who can find the Cauldron” Nesta and Lilith, Feyre thought
“Lilith can’t sense the Cauldron properly” Feyre said. The Suriel gave, a wicked smile stretching its disformed features
“Then use the other” It said “Wherever the King travels” – “The Cauldron travels with him”
And so does the army, Feyre concluded
“Bones will speak, Cursebreaker” – “Bones and stones” The Suriel shared
Feyre had to ask “Why didn’t the Cauldron stop when I tried before?”
“You think you can do that?” The Suriel gave a mocking laugh “Only one will be able to, without dying” – “The one that hears the Book”
“Lily?” Feyre questioned “Lily can stop it?” Her heart pounded
The Suriel looked toward the sky as if listening to something far away, tapping its talons. “She will. But her body…” It let out a sigh “There are many paths for the one who carries the Will of power” – “Many of those could lead to horrific—”
A snarl from the forest cut the Suriel’s words short. Lilith emerged, half of her face covered in mud, eyes still carrying the faintest glow
“Stop it” She warned the Suriel
The Suriel studied her. “Many paths” It took a whiff of air, grinning it said “It anchors you, blessed one”
Lilith’s hand rose. Threads of magic unleashed — not toward the Suriel, but behind it. The ash arrow flying towards them crumbled into dust in mid-air
Feyre gasped in shock, before she could register anything
Lilith grabbed Feyre’s arm. A shield of magic snapped into place around them, including the Suriel. Arrows rained down, but none penetrated the sheild her sister casted.
“Leave” Feyre ordered the Suriel as the arrows finally stopped “Fly away”
A tsking sound cut through the tension. As Ianthe emerged from the trees, flanked by two Hybern guards.
“Oh, how lovely” The priestess sang “You came straight to us”
“I should have slit your throat in the tent” Feyre snarled
“Get her”
Feyre glanced at Lilith. Her sister’s face was painted with a cruel, predatory smile. Then Lilith vanished, winnowing directly beside one of the guards. There was no hesitation. She pulled out her dagger and slit his throat in one clean motion. The second guard barely had time to react before Lilith threw dagger aiming at his stomach. It hit true
But Feyre’s focus stayed on Ianthe. The priestess didn’t have much magic. But she was nearly drained herself. A plan began to form
A scream broke from Ianthe as Lilith grabbed her, fingers dancing with silver-blue threats, as she dragged her by the hair, through the mud and in front of Feyre
“What do you want to do to this bitch?” Lilith asked in a cold voice
Feyre gave a wicked, sly smile
“Start explaining” Lilith demanded as they walked back “Ten minutes” Her words were clipped, anger barely contained “I asked you to trust me”
Feyre exhaled sharply “And I did” She said with the authority of a High Lady “And so shall you” Her voice softened as she added “I had to know about the King’s armies”
A muscle ticked in Lilith’s jaw. After a long moment, she sighed “Fine”
“Where the hell are we anyway?” Lilith asked looking around
“It’s called the Middle” Feyre replied “I don’t have enough magic left to winnow us back”
“I do” Lilith said dryly
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith thanked the Mother that they had reached the camp before anyone returned from the battlefield. They winnowed directly in front of a tent. Feyre immediately demanding that she rest.
Lilith didn’t argue. She sank in the cot. All she could think was how lucky she had been. Lucky that Feyre hadn’t fully grasped the Suriel’s words. Lucky that her shield—her magic, could block those ash arrows
A familiar and very unwelcome metallic taste coated her throat. She washed it down with a bowl of stew. She couldn’t remember the last time she left hunger like this
Lilith noticed Feyre’s furrowed brow and distant gaze. Rhysand. They were speaking in their silent ways
“Do you want more?” Feyre asked, her voice laced with concern
Lilith nodded “I don’t know why I feel so hungry”
“Because magic exhausts you” Mor’s voice cut in. The warrior stood at the tent entrance, bloodied and tired. Though a spark of amusement lit her eyes “Your body is demanding repayment for that stunt you pulled”
Lilith raised an eyebrow
Mor shook her head, her expression softening “Cassian… he would have been gutted on the field. You arrived at the perfect moment, Lily”
“Where is he?” Lilith asked, genuine worry. She remembered the deep gash across his stomach “Is he alright?”
“He walked himself back to the tent” Mor replied “The healers are with him now”- “And the others too”
They stepped inside the main tent. Lilith released a sigh of relief at the sight of Cassian sitting up, the healer still working on his wounds.
A small smile touched her lips when she saw Nesta beside him, holding his hand. At Rhysand who held Feyre close, as if he could finally breathe again
Shadows curled around Lilith’s ankles. Her gaze lifted to Azriel. He was already watching her, his hazel eyes filled with what looked like …anger
Lilith didn’t back down, she met his stare, lifting her chin in silent challenge Try me
She was done being tucked away for safety simply because she was the youngest. She had spent her entire life fighting. Hell, she was stronger than her two eldest sisters combined. It was high time they acknowledged it.
“Lily” Rhysand said, his voice grave
Her head snapped toward him
“Do you know what could have happened?”
Lilith crossed her arms, offering him a bored expression “Even if it saved your general’s life?”
Rhysand opened his mouth, but she cut him off “And let’s not waste time discussing things that didn’t happen”
Rhysand inhaled sharply “The risks you took Lily”
“The risks?” She raised a brow, her mouth curling “I don’t see you lecturing your mate” Her eyes flicked pointedly to Feyre, then back to him “You know, the one who winnowed straight into danger and nearly drained herself dry”
“What?” Mor shot Feyre a sharp look
“Feyre is the High Lady” Rhysand replied, his voice clipped
“Oh, shut it” Lilith exclaimed “Is it only people with fancy titles who are allowed to take risks in this court?” She let the next words drip with distaste “High Lord”
Silence crashed over the tent
When Lilith glanced at Azriel again, the anger had vanished from his eyes, replaced by a raw mix of sadness and relief
She didn’t hesitate. She moved to him and leaned back against his chest. His body loosened instantly, and one trembling arm circled her waist, pulling her closer. The world narrowed to the steady beat of his heart against her back. Lilith closed her eyes and traced slow, soothing strokes along his forearm I am here
Cassian grunted as he pushed himself upright “How bad?”
“How bad was your injury?” Rhysand countered “Or the battlefield?”
“I know my injury is fine” Cassian bit out
“Well, thanks to Lily” Rhysand said, narrowing his eyes at her. Lilith grinned back at him
“Everything turned out fine,” Rhysand continued tightly “But you will not pull shit like that again. I gave you an order—”
“Your order was bullshit” Cassian interrupted, his breath still labored
Rhysand planted his hands on the edge of the cot “I am your High Lord” – “Your stunt would have killed you if Lily hadn’t arrived in time”
Cassian offered a tired smile “You’re mad at us for choosing to protect you… but we can’t be mad at your self-sacrificing bullshit?”
“You could have died” Rhysand whispered “Both of you”
Lilith gave Azriel’s hand a reassuring squeeze before stepping away “I think we’ve already established that we don’t discuss things that did not happen” She slipped out of the tent
Mor, Nesta, and Feyre followed shortly after
“Come” Mor said, starting down the path
But Lilith lingered beside Nesta for a moment “He’s going to be fine” She said
Nesta nodded. As Lilith turned to leave, Nesta’s voice stopped her.
“Lily” Nesta had never spoken her name quite like that. Lilith halted, glancing back
“Thank you” Nesta blinked, as if the words were foreign on her tongue “Thank you”
Lilith offered her a small, genuine smile before continuing toward the tent where Mor and Feyre waited
Voices drifted out
“You left without saying anything. You lied!” Mor’s voice rang out
Lilith paused just outside the entrance.
“You want to talk about lying?” Feyre retorted “How about what you feel for Azriel?”
Lilith’s heart stuttered
“How about the fact that he was always around you before Lilith came?” – “How about the fact that you asked him to be there?”
“Leave” Mor said, her voice cold
But it didn’t matter. The pounding in Lilith’s ears drowned out everything else
Someone inside gasped “Lily?”
She was already backing away, Mor came in view “Lily wait!”
Lilith turned back and ran.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Her back slammed against the rough, cold bark of a tree.
She needed this. Needed to be away. Needed the silence from top of the trees
She had barely held herself together inside the tent while Nesta reached for the Cauldron. The Book of Breathings had called to her the entire time. In a sweet voice this time, full of promises. It called at her magic again and again.
She had resisted. Barely.
And after all that, after the things she overheard, she didn’t want to see anyone. Especially not Feyre.
For the first time in Lilith’s life, the thought of facing Feyre, twisted something in her chest. Mor’s feelings for Azriel, the way things used to be before Lilith arrived—kept replaying, over and over.
A silent tear slipped from her face as she thought about the golden light she could only see within her. Only see but not touch.
Snapping of twigs cracked through her thoughts. Lilith whipped her head toward the sound
A cloaked figure stood between the trees. Delicate frame, familiar posture. Lilith’s breath caught.
She dropped from the branch and ran “Elain!”
She grabbed her middle sister, pulling her close. Elain’s eyes were glassy, unfocused, staring at something only she could see
“He says he can make it better” Elain whispered, voice distant “That everything will go back to what it used to be”
Lilith tightened her grip, fear slicing through her “Elain, listen to me” – “There is nobody there”
Elain thrashed wildly in her arms her nails digging into Lilith’s shoulders. Lilith stumbled, trying to guide her back toward camp wards
A sharp, blinding pain exploded through Lilith’s head. The world tilted. Familiar iron smell reached her
A pair of warm hazel eyes flashed in her mind. Then… nothing.
Azriel went to tent after tent shadows whipping around him restless. His heart pounded Lilith was nowhere
“Nowhere in the camp” - “Missing” His shadows practically hissed at him
Missing? Lilith was missing
He burst into tent others were already gathered “She is nowhere” He rasped, his breath labored “Lily-”
Violet eyes met his “What do you mean Lilith is also gone?”
“Also?” Azriel’s blood ran cold
“Elain is missing too” Feyre said, voice full of fear
“You didn’t see the size of that army” Nesta warned “If you go in there, you’re not coming back”
“I am going” Azriel his tone final. His anger was barely leashed. The bond feeling twisted and wrong
Cassian gripped his shoulder “She’s going to be alright, brother”
“It is not just her” Nesta snapped “Elain is there too”
“I am going” Azriel repeated, his shadows curled around him
His gaze locked with Rhysand’s. The High Lord held it for heartbeat, then gave a single, grave nod.
Lilith blinked once, twice, as her vision slowly sharpened. Distant howls and screams reached her. She tried to move, but cold metal bit into her wrists and ankles. Chains. She was chained.
She turned her head. Elain sat slumped beside her, also chained, her face pale “Elain” Lilith whispered. Her sister didn’t move
“Well, well” A male voice drawled, as he came in view “Someone finally woke up”
Lilith said nothing. She fixed him with a lethal stare, promising a slow, painful death. She felt the presence of the other half of the book. But didn’t hear it’s whispers
The male tilted his head and gave a wicked smile “We are going to have fun, you and I”
“Before we retire, Jurian” Feyre said, capturing Ianthe’s simpering tone perfectly “I would like to pray before the mighty Cauldron”
The tent was dim, cold, and thick with vicious oily power of the Cauldron
“You have five minutes” Jurian whispered “Go to the western edge” He paused “Save a dagger for your own heart, because if they catch you…” He didn’t need to finish. Feyre understood
She began chanting the prayers she had memorised from the priestess in the Spring Court, her voice steady
Azriel silently moved the curtains aside. There was Elain—still in her nightgown, gagged and chained, eyes wide with terror when they landed on them.
And Lilith. Feyre took step back. Her younger sister’s eyes were unfocused, struggling to stay awake. Blood, so much blood—stained her clothes and matted her hair
Azriel’s body trembled with barely contained rage and horror as he stared at Lilith. Feyre kept chanting, repeating the prayers like a shield
Azriel moved with lethal efficiency. He removed Elain’s gag first, his hands quick and sure
“You came for me” Elain whispered softly
But Azriel was already moving. His movements turned impossibly gentle as he approached Lilith. Shadows curled protectively around them both
“I’m here” Feyre had never heard the softness in his voice before. He brushed bloodied strands from Lilith’s face “Sleep, my angel”- “I’m here”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Azriel winnowed on the open field, his wings barely held on. Shredded, torn membranes dripping blood, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was the still weight of Lilith in his arms. Her blood soaked his leathers
“Thank you, Azriel” Elain’s voice drifted from somewhere
He didn’t look at her. Didn’t acknowledge her. In that moment, all his focus was on the female he carried. His mate.
He walked straight to the main tent, his wings pulsing with pain on each step
“Get a healer” – “Now” He demanded, voice raw as he stepped inside
“Az, your wings—” Rhysand said concern flashing in his eyes
Azriel snarled, the sound ripping from deep within his chest “I don’t give a damn about my wings” His voice boomed “Look at her”
He lowered Lilith onto the cot. She lay there unconscious, bloodied and bruised, her skin far too pale. His heart twisted
He reached for the bond, the bright, golden light. It was still there, but dimmer. Anchor. She became his anchor from the first time he saw her
“Come back to me” -“Come back to me”- “Come back to me” He kept send those words down the bond praying that she would hear them once
Healers rushed in moments later. Everybody else followed close behind
Mor gasped in horror at the sight of Lilith, her hand flying to her mouth. Nesta’s eyes widened with shock before she moved quickly, sitting beside her youngest sister
“Madja is in the other tent” Rhysand said
Azriel glared at him
“Brother” Rhysand tried again, voice steady but firm “We are all here”- “You need to go heal your wings” He paused “Think about how Lily would feel if she woke up and saw you like this”
Azriel gave low growl. He had already failed her once tonight “Remove those damn chains from her” His voice was hoarse
Only when the chains fell away from Lilith’s wrists and ankles did he force a step back. He lingered at the entrance, eyes never leaving her face, before turning back and finding Madja.
“Come back to me, my angel” He sent down the bond “I’ll Wait
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Guilt sat heavy on her chest as she wiped the last traces of blood from Lilith’s face and arms. She placed the cloth back in the bowl of warm water. Two members of the Inner Circle now knew her deepest truth. Coward. She had been a coward
She was the Morrigan, her gist was truth — yet she had lived a lie for centuries
Her gaze drifted to the shadows swaying gently at Lilith’s feet, who abandoned their master to stay with her. A small smile tugged at Mor’s lips
A low groan escaped Lilith. Mor immediately leaned forward, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder “Hey” – “Easy”
Lilith blinked once, twice, then slowly pushed herself up. A haunted look was there in her eyes. One Mor knew all too well
“How are you feeling?” As soon as the question left her mouth Mor wanted to smack herself
Lilith huffed, voice raspy “Just peachy”
Mor handed her a glass of water and stayed quiet while Lilith drained it
“How long was I out?” Lilith asked
“Just an hour or so”
Lilith shook her head, then met Mor’s eyes, betrayal and sadness lay in them “How long” She whispered “You and Azriel”
Oh. Oh Mor’s face went slack
Before she could respond, Lilith continued, the words tumbling out of her “I know Azriel had a long list of lovers”- “You were the one who told me that” She swallowed hard “I don’t mind it”
Lilith exhaled “It was in the past” – “You’re both centuries old” – “Centuries” Her voice cracked “I get it” - “What I don’t get is why no one told me”
Lilith paused “Why didn’t tell me, or him” – “Especially why Fey—” She cut herself off, silver lining her eyes
Mor took Lilith’s hand and held it tightly “Look at me” Lilith did
“I swear to you “ – “There is nothing romantic between Azriel and me” Mor paused “Absolutely nothing” Mor let out a sharp exhale “I asked him to stay close” – “Asked Cassian to”
After a heartbeat she added “But Azriel… he’s the one who knows the real reason why”
“Centuries ago, Azriel probably hoped for more” Mor let out a humorless laugh “He is the Spymaster for a reason” She said shaking her head
Lilith blinked in confusion “It still doesn’t make sense Mor”
Mor took a deep breath, bracing herself “He stays close so other males don’t get too near me” She whispered “I don’t want them to touch me like that” She tilted her head not able to meet Lilith’s gaze “I don’t like any male touching me like that”
Mor met her gaze again “Rita’s… it’s a place for people like me”
Lilith squeezed her hand understanding dawning “Don’t” She said gently “Don’t continue if you’re not ready”
Mor met her gaze, eyes shimmering “I promised myself I would tell you and Feyre” She gulped “If you both came back to us alive” Lilith inhaled sharply
“I’m not interested in males” Mor said, the words felt freeing “I’m attracted to females” A breath of pure relief left her. She felt lighter, even after telling Feyre before. Telling another person felt as if a chain had loosened
“The family I come from…” Mor shook her head, unable to finish
Lilith gave her hand another squeeze “Mor” – “Thank you” - “For trusting me with this” A small genuine smile painted her lips
Mor returned the gesture “Later” Lilith added softly “I know this has weighed on you more than you let on”
Understanding. The youngest Archeron sister had been so incredibly understanding. So strong
Mor stood and pulled Lilith into a tight hug, holding her close. For the first time in a long while, the weight on her chest felt just a little easier to carry.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Later. Later.Later
That’s what she kept saying to everyone. Lilith was walking towards the tent everyone was
Later she would talk to Mor, later she would ask about the Feyre’s betrayal. Later she would talk and open up completely to him
But will there be a later-
Lilith stopped on her tracks. She took a deep breath. And shoved down everything. Shoved down the betrayal, the fear, the guilt. The taunts and the truth of what the cauldron had said.
They were at war, and Lilith had a role.
Rhysand sat with his Inner Circle in the smaller tent, maps and reports spread across the table. Healers still occupied the command tent. According to his cousin, Lilith had woken and they had cleared the air between them. He understood his newfound sister’s pain all too well. The sting of discovering your mate may have loved another first
As if summoned by the thought, Lilith stepped inside. Few shadows curled protectively around her
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Feyre asked gently from beside him
“I’m fine” Rhysand’s eyes widen slightly at the coldness in Lilith’s tone
He squeezed his mate’s hand “Don’t push her” He warned down the bond
Strategies were discussed and timing was planned. Eventually Mor, Cassian, and Amren departed, but Nesta remained, watching her youngest sister closely
“I need to go to the Prison” Lilith announced
Rhysand hadn’t expected that “Why?”
Azriel sent look Lilith that Rhysand would not like to be in receiving end off
“The other half” Lilith explained “It’s more of show and tell kind”
“You went near the Book?” Nesta argued
“I didn’t” Lilith hissed “I just know”
“Show me” The High Lord met her gaze
Lilith’s mental walls cracked open just a fraction. Images flooded him — the Prison’s island, a specific cell calling to her, her magic singing in response. He couldn’t help himself as he pushed deeper
Chains. The Cauldron before her in the Hybern camp. Its voice taunted her “You will die. You know that”
Lilith’s calm reply echoed “I know” – “ I told you before” A pause “I always knew I had a short—”
Mental daggers slammed into him, forcing him back
A snarl came from Lilith “You went prying” Her fists clenched, silver-blue sparks dancing across her knuckles
Rhysand recovered quickly “I’m sorry” - “I can’t help it sometimes”
“You tell one soul about that” Lilith warned “And I’ll personally make sure you regret it”
“I will not tell anyone” He replied
“Swear it” Her voice was final “Swear you won’t even tell Feyre”
Rhysand gave her a slow nod across the room. He new better to make a bargain on this.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
They would leave soon. Feyre was coming with her to retrieve the Bone Carver. They stood in the tent while Feyre promised Rhysand she would be alright, their voices soft and full of love.
Lilith watched them a real, smile dawned her face. Her thoughts drifted to Azriel, and as if summoned but the thoughts, a few of his shadows danced gently around her ankles
The tent flap opened Azriel stepped inside
Their eyes met, and Lilith felt herself melt. Worry and fear edges deep in those beautiful hazel eyes
“I’m coming with you” He pleaded
She wasn’t angry with him. She didn’t feel betrayed. In that moment, she felt almost nothing but the need to be strong. And being near Azriel…..it made her want to crumble into him. To curl up against his chest and finally let herself cry
But she allowed herself this one moment
She crossed to him, cupped his face with both hands, and looked into those hazel eyes “I promise you” She whispered, voice thick with emotion “I promise I’ll always come back to you”
A broken sound tore from Azriel’s throat “And I to you” He swore “I promise I’ll come back to you”
A dull ache bloomed on the back of her right hand. Lilith glanced down, beautiful swirls of ink were appearing, matching the tattoos that spanned his chest. Their promise, their bargain, to always come back
She reached inward, and saw that golden light. She pushed more. Deeper. Further.
And then it happened
A small gasp escaped her as she felt the bond, a golden living rope stretching between them. She could hold it. She could feel it completely
Azriel smiled, tears lining his eyes. Lilith laughed through her own tears, joy and relief crashing over her as she gripped that golden thread with everything she had
And then she felt it — the tug. The very real, very undeniable pull towards him
Azriel leaned down and kissed her
The bond flared wide open. Every emotion poured between them. His terror, her fear, his guilt. But the relief, the hunger, the love overpowered everything else
For the first time in her life, Lilith felt truly whole.
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪
Note: I hope you guys enjoyed reading that. It was a lot. I have realized I’m not so great in Feyre POV, which is weird cause the first 4 books are in Feyre’s point of view. I already have ideas for the next chapter. So hopefully my mind can work into a proper storyline.
My Taglist 💜: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria @napzalot
So I’m half way done for my Azriel x Oc (Azriel x reader). And I know there is a Eris series also going on . But I really I was listening to some old songs (back from like 2010s) And I got an idea for Cassian x reader angst) …. So I’m asking my readers
Help me out
Court of calm Chaos chapter 9 (Azriel x reader (Azriel x reader))
Snowflake and the Fire (Eris x reader (Eris x OC))
Cassian x reader (angst)
I’m suprised to see so many Cassian girlies (and probably even boys) in my list But the majority have spoken and you shall have the chapter 9 (Thank God I had it 3/4th way done anyway)
So I’m half way done for my Azriel x Oc (Azriel x reader). And I know there is a Eris series also going on . But I really I was listening to some old songs (back from like 2010s) And I got an idea for Cassian x reader angst) …. So I’m asking my readers
Help me out
Court of calm Chaos chapter 9 (Azriel x reader (Azriel x reader))
Snowflake and the Fire (Eris x reader (Eris x OC))
Cassian x reader (angst)
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 8
Summary: The wall is down and the war with Hybern has officially started. There are changes in Lilith’s powers. But Azriel and her grow closer
Warnings: Mature content 18+ (oral) , Past trama, War. There is a tiniest anti Elain, so whoever is pro Azriel and Elain you have been warned
Author's Note: Hi guys! Chapter 8 now completed. I do want to take a moment and thank all of you who are following this series. I’m enjoying writing this so much
P.S this is a multi POV chapter
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 SERIES MASTERLIST
He was on edge to say the least, war at their doorstep, preparing his army, making sure velaris kept safe, he had to even make sure Keir was in line.
And yet his eyes kept drifting to where his brother sat with his mate, on the couch. It was the first time Azriel allowed himself to touch her in front of everyone. His earlier orders for Azriel to watch over Elain had been quietly forgotten
Rhysand didn’t mind. Not when he had felt Lilith’s power rising during the meeting at the Dawn Court — ancient, infinite, like a lock breaking open in her chest. A distant part of his beast form had roared at the threat that kind of power possessed
“Rhys” His mates soothing voice was welcomed
“Yes Feyre darling”
“You felt it too in the meeting didn’t you?” It was more than a statement than a question
Rhysand exhaled out load “Lily has been nothing but exceptional” – “She is willing to fight for us even after everything”
He knew this, yes her powers felt like a never ending whirlpool leading to a vast ocean, but this was Lilith
“She is more than brother’s mate, more than your sister darling” – “She was ready to fight for my- our court since the beginning” Rhysand reminded Feyre and himself
“I know she is more than my sister” – “But you know as well as I do that she now has a much bigger target on her back than before”
Indeed what he felt, other would have too, and the way the shadows came to her, few of the High Lords might have suspected. And might be foolish enough to use her to settle the score with the Spymaster.
“She knows how to defend herself” – “She’ll be fine darling” Rhysand assured
Azriel didn’t care that they were in front of everyone, didn’t care that eyes were on him, on them, didn’t care the look her sister was giving. He just held Lilith’s hand and didn’t look anywhere but her. His shadows whispering to him, of any movement.
Her hand squeezed his, as finally Lilith met his gaze
“I’m alright” She whispered, giving him a small smile
He didn’t let her hand go,
“Az” Rhysand’s voice came
“Start the meeting, if you for one second think I’m leaving her side your very wrong Rhys” Azriel’s replied, clenching his jaw
There was a little amusement in Rhysand’s voice when he said “I excepted nothing less, but can you stop hiding half of her in shadows?” Azriel blinked, only then noticing how deeply his shadows had cocooned Lilith. He eased them back slightly
“Grayson would take them in” Elain spoke up, as they were discussing about how to get the humans to safely
The strong hand that held hers ever since they got back from Dawn Court was the only thing that kept Lilith grounded.
The conversation was continuing among the room but Lilith’s memories went to how that asshole was slowly manipulating Elain into what he wanted. From what she wore, how she spent her time, heck Elain’s eating habits also changed.
“He doesn’t know you Feyre” Elain exclaimed “And he hate you Nesta” Nesta just scoffed
“And you” Elain turned to Lilith “The last time you met him you threatened that you’d feed him to his own hounds”
A calmness washed over Lilith, she remembered that time, it was when she overheard that spineless boy telling Elain to ‘behave’ “And I still would” Elain jerked up, the icyness in Lilith’s tone shocking her
She recovered quickly “Swear it, all three of you” – “No harm will come to him” Lilith’s eyes went on the ring she still wore. It might as well be a shackle if he had this much power over her even now.
They stood by the table, looking at the map as the strategies were being told by Cassian. So on odds with the male she knew, but no this was the General. This in front of her was the first in command to Night Courts armies.
She gave a small smile to the first one who declared himself as her brother.
Lilith knew Azriel had to leave soon, she also knew the silent question in his eyes Tell them those hazel eyes were pleading her
Her gaze went to Nesta, sitting at the armchair, at the end of the table. Lilith didn’t know if her sister heard it too.
“I” Lilith cleared her throat “It called to to me” Everyone’s eyes were on her
She lifted her chin, she was not going to be afraid “The book” Nesta snapped her head towards Lilith
“It told me to come to it” – “Read it’s secrets” There was an audible inhale from the High Lord, the only sign that he was rattled
“No” The word slipped out of Nesta, her tone was…was terrified “I didn’t hear anything” She confessed
And Lilith finally told what she figured out days ago, when the half of the book called her, she met Nesta’s gaze “I don’t feel the cauldron” – “Not like you do” She paused trying to put her thoughts in words “I aware of it yes, but it’s just tuned out”
“I get called by the book” – “Always have” Lilith looked at everyone, only to find worried gazes looking at her
“Don’t” Her voice was firm “Don’t get worried” – “They are other more important things right now” She pointed at the map
Rhysand was the first to recover “We scout the path to the human lands and send spies out for any information” He nodded toward Azriel, who stood beside Cassian.
Azriel didn’t move. He didn’t want to leave her , not even for a moment. After a beat of heavy silence, he took two long strides toward Lilith. His wings flared wide, cocooning her
“You need to go, Spymaster” Despite everything there was a teasing note in her voice.
Azriel leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth “I’ll be back” He murmured against
Lilith smiled, small but genuine “I’ll wait”
“Lil” Cassian called, entering her room. Lilith was braiding her hair in a tight updo.
“We need to talk” Lilith’s brows furrowed “I know you have been training” – “And you have progressed a lot in a short time”
Lilith exhaled, crossing her arms to her chest “But” She said in a calm voice
“We need Mor on the field” He told with the authority of the General “Your High Lady needs to have someone from the court by her side”
“My sister” Lilith bit back “Is capable of defending herself” – “But I suppose I understand the true reason you're telling me to stay near the camp tents” Lilith raised a brow
Cassian rubbed the back of his neck “Walked right into that one, didn’t I?” A half grin dawning his face
Lilith nodded, trying and failing, as her corner of her mouth twitched.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
“I’m deeply sorry” Jurian said, looking directly at Lilith
“That you called our human lives being ripped out a ‘show’?” Lilith snarled “Yes, you should be”
“I had a role to play” Jurian explained
Lilith didn’t want to stand here listening to him. Fine — Jurian was a decent male who had done terrible things to survive. But it wasn’t him that had her blood boiling. The meeting had not gone as planned. They had known it was a long shot to convince the humans, but when that spineless boy had raised his hand to strike Elain… the anger had been slow to cool.
She didn’t even want to be here. There was only one reason she had come.
Lilith glanced to the right. In the distance, she could just make out the Archeron Manor. She had to warn them. The servants who had looked after her, Nesta, and Elain. She had to warn Hanna — and if possible, convince her to leave with them.
Her power buzzed beneath her skin. She had to go before Azriel and Rhysand winnowed them back to the Illyrian mountains.
She didn’t realize she had started moving until her legs were carrying her forward.
Distantly, she heard her name being called, but she didn’t stop. She ran toward the manor, clutching her cloak tightly in place. In a blink, she was there, standing at the door of her former home, chest heaving.
“Hanna!” Lilith called out as she pushed inside
Several servants emerged. The cook who had always slipped her extra portions before her body started to refuse food, the old manager of the house, and Hanna. Their usual sharp expressions melted into shock.
Lilith gulped down air, still panting “You all need to leave. Please..gather whoever you can and either go to the Grayson estate or get as far away from here as possible”
The old manager stepped forward, her cane tapping against the floor. “It’s true then… the rumors” Lilith nodded
“You look far better than the last time I saw you, my lady” The woman said, no fear in her voice.
Lilith looked straight at Hanna “Come with me” She pleaded, eyes lined with silver “Please”
Hanna gasped, eyes widening — not at Lilith, but at the presence that suddenly appeared beside her
Power rippled through the air. Wings gone, Rhysand materialized at her side, fury rolling off him.
“What the fuck were you thinking, Lily?” His voice boomed through her mind
“I apologize for my sister’s actions” Rhysand said, voice smooth but edged with warning “But if you have heard rumors of war… I am sorry to say they are correct”
“They are the only ones who ever cared for me, Rhys” Lilith snapped back “The least I could do was warn them”
Hanna was the first to recover “Sister?” she asked, tone demanding
“You do not run off like that again” Rhysand ordered, this time in his full High Lord voice
“This is Feyre’s husband” Lilith explained to the stunned staff. A collective gasp rippled through the room
“I don’t have time to explain everything” Lilith continued “But you are all dear to me. I wish I could take every one of you. But even this male” She gestured at Rhysand “Cannot transport all of you and your families at once”
Her gaze returned to Hanna, the only one here without a family, brought into this house solely to care for Lilith.
Hanna straightened her spine. “I will come” She said. Relief flooded Lilith, but it was short-lived. “But only after this war you speak of”
The meaning was clear. Survive first.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Over five hundred years, Mor had known this male. Five hundred years, and she had never seen him so … so rattled.
Azriel paced slowly, shadows clinging to him like a second skin, restless and agitated. His face was calm, the deadly calm Mor knew promised violence; but his eyes were distant
She watched as Elain hesitantly reached for his hand. Azriel dodged the touch as if it burned him, shooting her a sharp glare that lasted only a heartbeat. Elain’s face crumpled.
Mor’s jaw clenched. Elain should know better, she thought. Trying to comfort a mated male especially at a moment like this…
“Rhys says everything is fine” Feyre announced, she just came back few minutes ago. Whatever she had been doing, Feyre kept it to herself
Irritation and confusion twisted inside Mor. It was so unlike Lilith, to act without warning anyone, to take a risk that could endanger others, herself probably..
The door opened and the shadows raced across the room as Lilith stepped inside with Rhysand close behind. Mor glanced at her cousin. Rhysand gave a slow shake of his head — a silent warning. Whatever Lilith had told him had clearly weighed on him.
Her gaze shifted to Lilith. There was no guilt. No hesitation.
Only pure steel determination.
She wanted to demand answers, but now wasn’t the time. They still had to reach the Illyrian mountains.
Lilith met her eyes and mouthed Later.
The Illyrian mountains were always cold. Mor hated coming here. She had only been sent here in the past as a last resort. Probably because she had once leveled a training field when the males refused to listen to a her commands because she was female.
Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel walked ahead. Mor practically had to shove Lilith beside Nesta, keeping them somewhat hidden.
“What are they?” Devlon demanded, pointing directly at Nesta and Lilith. “Are they witches?”
A cruel smile curved Lilith’s lips, the kind that reminded Mor of Azriel right before he tore someone’s throat out.
“Yes” Nesta answered dryly. Mor scoffed
“Take them to the war tent” Rhysand’s voice echoed in her mind
Mor motioned for them to follow her to the largest tent on the hill. As soon as they entered, she positioned herself protectively next to Lilith
“Welcome to an Illyrian war camp” She declared “We have a few minutes before we leave” “If Jurian’s information is correct”
She didn’t wait. Grabbing Lilith’s arm, she pulled her into one of the smaller tents which was warded from sound
“Speak” Mor demanded.
Lilith’s face showed nothing
“Lily” Mor bit out, then her voice softened “I’m not asking as third in command”- “I’m asking you as a friend”
“Why did you pull that stunt?”
“I had to warn them” Lilith said, staring at a point on the ground
“But why like that?” Mor pressed
Lilith’s calm demeanor cracked “Because they were the only ones who were there for me” Her voice rose “They were the ones who took care of me”
Understanding dawned on Mor’s face
“Feyre wasn’t there” Lilith continued voice fierce yet broken “And those two might have lived under the same roof, but it was the same as them not being there at all” A bitter laugh escaped her “So yes — I went and warned the people who took care of me when I was at my lowest” – “The ones who made sure I ate… and didn’t drink myself to an early death”
Mor stumbled back a step. She had known pieces, but not this
She recovered quickly, stepping forward and pulling Lilith into a tight embrace.“It’s alright”
Lilith’s arms wrapped around her gently in return
Mor’s gaze lifted to the opening of the tent. Azriel stood there, stunned, with glassy eyes and his mouth slightly open
Mor carefully shook her head at him – a warning. Not now.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. From their hidden vantage point, Lilith and Feyre could see the entire battlefield spread out before them. Lilith’s eyes kept darting to the blonde female warrior, then to the three males in raven helmets. Her gaze lingered on the one with seven blue siphons
Born as warriors, she thought. Honed into something lethal. Seeing Mor fight with such skill only confirmed what Cassian had told her , she wasn’t fully ready. Not yet
Her eyes tracked Cassian as he broke from the line, charging toward a Hybern soldier. The way the General moved was pure art
“It’s a dance” Lilith whispered “The flow… the precise angle”
Feyre squeezed her hand tightly, both of them watching in stunned awe
“That’s the reason” Feyre murmured “Why the High Illyrians want him dead. They’re scared. They envy the power a bastard-born male commands”
Lilith felt that power, even from this far. She started feeling the amount of power radiating from everyone after the High Lords meetings. It’s not like she couldn’t before, but that time it felt muted.
The camps changed positions, Lilith’s magic began buzzing louder, straining at the edges, eager to be released. Feyre and Nesta stayed with her while Elain quietly retreated into her tent. Only minutes later, Rhysand, Cassian, and Mor entered the command tent
Lilith’s eyes stayed fixed on the tent flaps, waiting
“He went to check our losses” Rhysand said softly “And scout the incoming army”
Cassian grunted as he lowered himself onto a makeshift bed, wincing. “You were” Lilith shook her head trying to find the right words “Incredible” Cassian gave her a tired half-grin
“You’re hurt” Nesta pointed, moving toward him with surprising gentleness
It felt wrong to be here — Feyre close to Rhysand, Nesta with Cassian. Lilith glanced at her wrist, missing the shadows at usually surrounded her. Mor nudged her playfully with her shoulder “He’ll be fine”
Lilith managed a small smile, rubbing the back of her neck. Her power was still humming, still so…restless. She noticed a deep bend in Mor’s armor and raised her hand on instinct. Silver-blue threads danced from her fingers, straightening and the metal until it was good as new
Mor blinked at her in surprise “Your magic… it’s practically overflowing”
Rhysand smirked “There is a pile of shields and swords that could use fixing, if you’re up for it”
“I don’t even know how I did that, honestly,” Lilith admitted.
But she was already moving outside to find this pile of damaged weapons
She worked quietly, straightening bent shields and blades, fixing what she could. It was something useful — a way to release off the restless magic. With Feyre and Nesta helping the wounded, and Azriel still out there.
Lilith shook her head she focus, she needed to focus
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Azriel entered the tent where Cassian and Mor were already waiting
“How many?” Cassian asked in greeting
“A hundred thousand” Azriel replied grimly “And still growing”
Cassian’s jaw clenched “We need to know if the other courts are coming — and how many”
Azriel gave a nod “I’ll leave now” He took a step back “Just inform Rhys”
He turned toward the exit
“Wait” Cassian commanded “You need rest, Az. You can’t exhaust yourself. You know better”
Azriel’s jaw tightened. He glanced back over his shoulder “Which tent?” He didn’t need to specify who he meant
“Second one from the right” Mor answered, a teasing tone still in her voice despite everything “Already warded”
Azriel didn’t reply. He simply left.
He stepped into Lilith’s tent, hoping to find her there, but the space was empty. Not even her scent lingered
Azriel walked further inside, unbuckling his swords. They landed with a heavy thud against the ground
Exhaustion pressed down on him, the bone deep weariness that came with long hours of battle
Then the tent flap pushed open. His shadows raced toward her
The calming scent of fresh rainfall and peaches hit him, already lifting some of the weight from today
He turned
Lilith took long strides toward him and wrapped her arms around him tightly
Azriel’s hands found her waist immediately, pulling her closer, grounding himself. This. He needed this needed her close.
She reached up and gently removed his helmet. Her sharp, observant eyes searched his face, seeing everything he tried to hide. Azriel managed a small, tired smile
“When did you get here?” She whispered
“Just a moment before you did” His fingers traced slow circles on her waist, desperate for the contact.
He was tired — more mentally than physically — and he needed her. Gods, he didn’t realize how much he needed her until Lilith’s scent hit him.
He gently tugged her toward the bed. Lilith didn’t protest when he removed his bloodied leather top. She didn’t protest as he pulled her down with him, flaring his wing wide, cocooning them
She placed a hand on his bare chest and looked directly at him “Hi” She whispered
Azriel gave her another tired smile “Hi”
“You should rest” She murmured
He couldn’t stop himself. He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb along the side of her mouth, needing the contact. The blue in her eyes sparkled as she leaned up and brushed a gentle kiss against his lips. Azriel inhaled sharply.
He leaned down and kissed her hungrily, pouring into it all the words he couldn’t voice right now — this need for her, his fear when she winnowed, his relief when she found her unharmed
A soft snarl left him as her tongue entered his mouth, tasting him. She was just as needy as he was.
He felt himself hardening as Lilith climbed over him, not breaking the kiss once. He sat up slowly.
“I can’t let our first time be in a fucking war tent” He snarled near her ear, then nipped at her neck.
Lilith panted, gently pushing him back down. He obliged her.
She kissed him again, her mouth trailing down his jaw, then his neck. Azriel closed his eyes, feeling more alive with every kiss she placed. His breath hitched when she reached his lower stomach and placed her hand on his leathers.
“Want me to stop?” Her breathy voice sent him spiraling.
This female was going to be the death of him.
His eyes widened, he could only shake his head, not trusting his voice.
She pulled his leathers down, freeing his cock, already hard and aching for her.
A small gasp left Lilith as she took him in. Despite everything, a smug smirk tugged at Azriel’s lips
His hand reached for the back of her head, thumb caressing her cheek. He studied her, eyes full of both hunger and doubt Are you sure?
Lilith answered by licking the bead of moisture at the tip. Azriel threw his head back with a groan
She stroked him gently, then carefully guided her mouth onto him, taking more with each pull. His mind shut down in a blissful silence. The only thing he felt was her — warm, wet, and his
He kept his eyes on her as she took him deeper, sucked harder, her hand working what her mouth couldn’t reach
His hand curled in her hair, hips moving, thrusting faster, deeper “Fuck” He rasped
She let out a moan around him and he felt it everywhere.
“Angel” He moaned, voice wrecked “I’m not going to-” His words cut off as Lilith took him harder, deeper
With a guttural groan, Azriel came, hips jerking as he spilled into her mouth. She swallowed every drop, riding him through it until he was spent
Lilith sat up slowly, meeting his gaze. She slowly licked her lips with a knowing little smile that made his heart pound
Azriel pulled her close and kissed her hard, tasting himself on her tongue. Later, because there will be a later- when they had time, when they weren’t in a war tent surrounded by death, he would taste her
He would take his time, worshiping every inch of her
But right now, with his mind finally quiet and the battle’s weight lifted, he simply held her.
Lilith curled up against his chest. Safe in his arms and his wings cocooning them both, Azriel finally allowed himself to rest.
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪
Note: I hope you guys enjoyed, and please comment I love reading those. I really felt like writing until the point where Elain gets rescued, but it was just getting too long. So hopefully already having ideas for the next chapter it’ll be out soon. The third book is the longest so I can’t finish this in 3 chapters like I originally planned. As I mentioned in the warning that there is a tiny anti Elain. I dont really like Azriel x Elain (sorry to all my Elain lover readers but I do think Elain is too coddled). And it will be there even in the future chapters
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
The Snowflake and The Fire
Summary: They met Under the Mountain. Carved a thin slice of happiness from the misery. After things fell out between them, Eris finally opens up
Warnings: Lil angst, abuse, soft Eris?, female reader , Non-canon
Author's Note: Hi guys, part two of Eris x reader. It is kinda short compared to the other.
I really enjoy reading the comments please leave one
ENJOY!
P.S I’m working on my Azriel series as well, I just had to get this outta my head to focus on that one
He walked down the dimly lit hall toward the west wing, where most of the Autumn people were kept. It was later than usual, but the images wouldn’t stop clawing at him. Eris shook his head sharply. Not here. Not in front of him
“And when is this happening?” Beron’s voice came from the half-open study door
“Tomorrow, my Lord” One of his father’s trusted answered
Eris put the mask of the cruel prince and stepped inside “Father”
“Where have you been, boy?” Beron snarled
Eris offered a wicked practiced smile “Matters required my attention”
Beron tsked “The event for tomorrow is already in motion I trust?”
Eris sat beside his father, eyes flicking over the two empty bottles on the table. He kept his tone light almost bored “Of course”
Beron drained his glass in one swallow “Winter had it coming. What happens to those rebellious little children is their own fault”
Eris’s heart slammed to a brutal stop. Horror ripped across his face before he could cage it. The mask cracked completely. For one agonising second the world went silent except for the roaring of his blood. Innocent lives. He had known too late
He heard Beron’s voice continue Eris’s hands curled into fists beneath the table as he slammed the mask back into place—the wicked male everyone expected him to be.
“That is very true, Father” He replied, voice steady and empty
That memory had become a constant reminder of his shame, his guilt. Of her pain. Like a blade between his ribs.
Eris stopped outside the door to the Winter Princess’s chambers. She had arrived last night, offered only the barest, coldest greetings, and disappeared behind these walls. She hadn’t come for breakfast, claiming to be nauseous from travel.
He lifted a hand, hovering just above the door, aching to reach her. But he let it fall. The decision he had made the moment Kallias’s letter arrived still held
He turned on his heel and walked toward the great hall to inspect the coronation preparations.
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
Ember was tired yesterday night, but since she woke morning, she kept finding little pieces here and there. Pieces of Winter. A decorative bowl, with pinecones on the dressing table. Crystal snowflake, a mini structure of the winter deer on the bookshelf. A liquor decanter with staghorn. There were more hidden gems like that
But her eyes went at the vase placed on the bed side side, dark grey marble, with flowers that should be only in be in Winter. Ember’s eyes sparkled looking at the white teardrop shaped petals
Winter’s Snowdrop, the promise of hope, a promise of better tomorrow.
Her treacherous heart melted. Then, clenched with familiar anger
How? Why? Why did these small gestures still pierce her so deeply when he had hidden something so devastating?
A knock from the door broke her spiraling questions
She opened it and peaked outside
A messenger stood there, he bowed his head in greeting “The Lady of the house wishes to meet you” He said “I am to escort you there” He gave a warm smile
There was no room for refusal. Ember forced a polite smile and followed.
The secluded garden at the back of the palace was quiet, shielded by tall hedges and ancient trees. Lady of Autumn waited with a warm, familiar smile that tugged painfully at old memories
Ember bowed “It is good to see you”
“Please, sit”
Pouring the tea with her own hands Autumn’s Lady added “I noticed you weren’t there at breakfast”
The placed a plate of berry tarts and delicate sandwiches before her—Ember’s favorites, the kind she could never resist.
Ember’s throat tightened. Only one person in this entire court had ever known her preferences so precisely.
She noticed her reaction and gave a gentle knowing look “There is very little I do not notice about who my eldest cares for”
Ember grabbed one of the tarts
“You also go for the sweet things first” The Lady of Autumn said in delight
Ember cleared her throat “You wished to meet me?”
“I merely wanted to see you” Her gaze flicked to the thick form of trees
“I wanted to ask you if you wish to look at gowns, for the coronation” Lady Autumn said calmly
Ember studied her, her careful wordings, the hidden meanings. And have a small genuine smile
That evening, the great hall glittered with the finest autumnal decorations for the pre-coronation supper.
Ember arrived deliberately late, hoping to slip into her seat unnoticed. She was glad to see familiar faces among the guests — Keela from the Dawn Court and Varian of Summer. She spoke with them quietly, grateful for the distraction, laughing softly at Keela’s dry humor
Ember tried her best not to look at the head of the table where Eris sat beside his father. But she felt his gaze on her.
Her stomach twisted—anger, longing, betrayal, and something softer she refused to name. She wanted to hate him. She should hate him. Yet the Winter Snowdrops in her room and the careful touches throughout her chambers made her chest ache with conflicting emotions.
Beron’s sharp voice cut through the murmurs like a blade “Winter’s emissary” Embers head turned towards him
“Tell me girl” Beron drawled “Does your Court still mourn at the loss for the little ones?” There was a slight tilt on this lips
Ember’s fingers tightened around her fork until her knuckles whitened. She forced her voice steady “Winter remembers its losses. We also remember our strength” Her gaze flicked to Eris, his mask cracking for just a second, raw fury shown in them
Beron laughed, low and mocking. “Strength”-“How charming.” His gaze slid to Eris, then back to her “The snow always melts in the presence of fire”
The threat was thinly veiled. Ember inclined her head, refusing to flinch, and with icy coldness added “Then it is fortunate that we have learned to endure the hottest flames”
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
“Is it selfish to think that I’m happy?” Ember questioned “Given the circumstances” She looked at Eris lying beside her, his eyes were distant
She placed a hand on his chest. Eris snapped and fully turned towards her “I think” His voice was raw “That this slice we cut for ourselves is worth it”
A warm smile painted his face, but his eyes were sad.
He cupped her face “You are worth it”
Ember returned to her chambers after supper, emotions frayed raw. She was reaching for her nightgown
She thought about the fury on Eris’s eyes. She didn’t want to care, couldn’t, not after what he did.
Changing into a night gown, a knock sound pulled Ember to the door, but nobody was there
The knock came again, this time toward her left, she noticed the bookshelf. The bare wall beside it.
“Take the black and gold book out” A muffled voice came, familiar, but she couldn’t place it
Ember’s gaze immediately went to the bookshelf. But before anything she grabbed her dagger underneath her pillow
She took the book out, a creaking sound followed, the wall opened, like a door.
A figure emerged, she didn’t think once as she came up from behind and placed the dagger on the tall male’s throat
Long dark copper hair came in view, as the male turned his head and his mechanical eye moved “I would appreciate if you could let me go” Lucien said
Ember “Lucien!” – What are you doing here?” Her voice was a whisper
Lucien huffed “You don’t have to whisper” – “This room is one of the safest places” – “With wards even Beron will find hard to break”
Ember's brows lifted, her gaze darted to the secret passage
“Don’t worry I was just here to drop someone” Ember’s brows furrowed “The Night Court’s emissary”
Lucien let a sigh out “And because I owe a favor” – “To Eris”
“No” Ember snapped “I do not want to talk about him” Old anger rising
“Listen” Lucien continued as if Ember did not speak “My brother is many things” He paused “But a cheat and liar is not one of them” – “Not to the ones he cares about”
His tone shifted “And I speak with experience”
“If he needs to tell me anything” She snarled “Tell him to face me” – “Tell him that he needs to face the reactions he caused”
“I do wish too” Came a very familiar voice from the passage of the door “If you allow it”
Eris gave a nod to Lucien as he entered and the other left
Ember’s body went cold and hot all at once seeing Eris come. The bruises that lined his face the split lip
Amber eyes met hers and suddenly she realized it was just them
“What do you want?” Ember growled, dagger still gripped tightly.
“Many things” Eris rasped, voice rough with exhaustion and longing “But right now I want to know why you never came to me—even after every letters I sent”
“You think I would even read them?” she bit out, anger and pain lacing every word “After everything?”
Eris’s expression crumpled with sorrow “Do you think I would ever risk you?”
Ember didn’t know how to respond to that, but deep down she knew. By the cauldron this male would have done anything for her, did anything.
“You know me” A statement “You shouldn’t have hidden behind letters”
Eris thrust his hand through his hair “You know why this happened?” He gestured to his face
Ember went still, she didn’t want to acknowledge the sadness and wrath that came with looking at his bruise
“It was because Beron got to know my mother asked to meet you” His voice rising with barely controlled fury “It is because he wished to know what you spoke about”
He let out a dry laugh “And when I told him”- “He didn’t think the answer was true and this” He gestured to his bruises again
Eris stepped closer “That’s who I’ve spent my whole life protecting anyone I care about from. The monster who rules this court” – “Protecting you from”
As soon as those words left from his mouth the dam broke, Eris couldn’t stop “I swear” his voice raw, and eyes that didn’t leave hers “To whatever shattered pieces of my soul remain—I didn’t know anything until it was too late”
Ember saw, heard the truth in his voice, the wall she built around her heart brick by brick cracked a little
“It happened that night. That night we lay together speaking about our happiness Under the Mountain, about a future we both knew we might never have” Eris’s voice was rough “I went back to my father’s study and only overheard fragments” - “I played along because I had to” He paused “And when Beron finally said that Winter was the target”
His voice cracked “Trust me, little fire, I didn’t know. Not in time to stop it. Not in time to warn you without pinning a target on your back for Amarantha to destroy”
Eris slowly sank to his knees before her, head bowed at first, then lifting so their eyes could meet
His hands trembled as he reached out but stopped short of touching her “If they had known I was with you—if they had even suspected—I refused to risk you” - “I would rather carry your hatred for the rest of my days than see you broken because of me.”
A broken whimper left Ember, as the tears began rolling down, she couldn’t stop them.
She remembered that night as if it was yesterday, where they spoke about everything and nothing. The distant look in his eyes, when they started speaking about a future. Hopelessly. That particular night where he held her tighter than usual
She sank to her knees too, fingers trembling as they finally brushed his bruised cheek. Eris’s entire body shuddered at the gentle contact, a broken sound escaping him.
“You didn’t know” Ember whispered in a trembling voice
Eris slightly shook his head, eyes lined with silver
“You didn’t betray me”
“Never you” Eris rasped, words that came from the depths of this soul “Never”
The wall around her heart came crashing down
With a chocked sob , Ember leaned forward and threw her arms around him
Eris caught her instantly, crushing her against his chest. His anchor, his whole world. His hands trembled as one splayed on her back. Another one slid up to cradle the nape of her neck, fingers threading desperately through her pale blonde hair. He buried his face in the curve of her shoulder, breathing her in deeply. Home. After a very, very long time, he was finally home.
₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡
Note: I know this was more direct, but I really wanted to clear the air between the characters for the other part
I hope you guys liked it
Taglist 🧡 - @asfkoie @shinyghosteclipse @langsnscraps
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 7
Summary: Lilith's past resurfaces at the worst time. The High Lords meeting. And so does the tension between her and Azriel (idk how to summarise properly)
Warnings: Mature content, 18+, Vomit, Mentions of dying
Author's Note: Hi guys! It's been long I know. But I finally Chapter 7 is here. I hope you guys enjoy. Comments are open to all.
P.S. The story down the line will be split in Lilith's POV and even Azriel's POV (not much but yeah)
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
She felt bile rise up yet again as she jolted up and threw up. Lilith wiped the sweat of her face as her gaze landed on the healer
Neema stood there, expression as unreadable, as if she had seen this type of reaction thousands of times. She took various bottles of portions lined up on the side table and started to mix them once again
“I don’t think I will be able to drink that again” Lilith said in a weak voice
The healer gave her a sharp look, but her words were soft as she said “It must be difficult” – “But you set yourself a goal”
Lilith took a long breath, her goal, her goal to see her sister again. To find where she was, if she was happy. To make sure Elain either didn’t marry that idiot fool, and if she did, to scare the living hell out of him to behave himself. And Nesta –She glanced at the tonics “You told me this worked” The statement came out as a question
Lilith’s body trembled as she got up and stood in front of a mirror. She had requested it to be placed there. To remind herself that this was for Feyre, for the promise made to her mother. And the sparkle of hope she saw in her father’s eye when Neema first came.
She took off the locket her father had given to her, opening it she read the small note for the hundredth time
"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, Lilypad"
She looked at her reflection, the bruises under her eyes, the bones peeking out from the length of her body, the greyish pale under her skin.
Yes, it had lessened from the first time, but it still wasn’t good enough, not for her
Neema placed a hand of her shoulder “There is more to just healing your body” – “Your heart must be too” Lilith had heard these words many times
But what followed was something new “But your soul also must want to live”
Lilith blinked in surprise, and out of nowhere a sudden laugh burst from her, there was nothing joyful in that laugh. It was pain, a laugh that was born out of pure sorrow, sacrifice and pain. She thought of the words again her mind reacted with loader chuckles
Neema’s expression was something mixed between horrified and sorrow “Sorry” Lilith said in midst of chuckles “It’s just” She willed herself to stop
“If you knew my life” She sighed, a sorrowful smile dawning on her face, Lilith shook her head
Changing the subject, she said “Next”
That particular memory played again and again, Your soul must want to live. Did she understand those words? Did her soul truly want to live? Was all that had happened not enough? The fact that she couldn’t figure out anything from the powers to the bond, not a sign of something?
She didn’t know how and when she reached the Town House, somehow the long walk got completed. And she reached the right place
She stood there for a while, strengthening not only her mental shields but also sealing up the space where the golden light came from. Her excuse was not to distract or get distracted when the war broke out, and somehow, the High Lord didn’t notice her ulterior motive when she asked how not to send emotions down the bond.
But somehow she knew, she knew that her priority wouldn’t be the war, it would be this.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
He couldn’t sleep. The nightmares were nothing new—shadows of the things he had done as the Night Court’s spymaster, the blood on his hands that no amount of time could wash clean. They came and went like unwelcome ghosts.
But tonight… tonight was different. Heart thumping, Azriel dragged a hand through his damp hair, his body still slick with cold sweat; the cell from his past had returned after years—stone walls, iron chains, the suffocating dark. Only this time, it hadn’t been him trapped inside. It had been her
His shadows stirred, curling along his shoulders, whispering against his ear “Townhouse… safe” A pause “But something is wrong” His jaw tightened
That much, he already knew. Lilith had been fine yesterday morning—more than fine. Laughing, teasing him, that quiet warmth in her eyes that he had begun to crave more than he should. When he and Cassian left for the camp, she had stayed behind at the townhouse without a second thought. Nothing had seemed off.
Except now, the ice-cold, nothingness down the bond was terrifying. There had never been a moment—not one, when he couldn’t feel her. Her emotions had always reached him, let it be anger, happiness or even when she left lonely.
His instincts roared, clawing at his control. Something is wrong.
The cold wind drifting in from the balcony did little to steady him. Azriel stepped outside anyway, gripping the railing. His thoughts spiralled. The war, the nightmare. The way she had looked at him. The way she had felt in his arms, and now this emptiness. His grip tightened.
Did she regret it? The question came sharp as a blade Did I push too far? His wings shifted restlessly behind him. Or worse, did something happen to her?
Azriel stilled, shadows rising, coiling, restless. There was only one way to silence the storm. He stepped back from the railing, and flew into the sky.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith stared at her reflection from where she sat on the dresser.
The dark circles beneath her eyes had deepened. Her skin had taken on a faint paleness, almost ghostlike in the morning light. She exhaled slowly, her fingers curling against the wood.
She couldn’t face anyone like this. But, then again, it wasn’t a secret that she didn’t get much sleep. Maybe, she will chalk it up to that
Her gaze drifted to the bed. The dress lay there, carefully chosen, its fabric catching the soft spill of sunlight through the window. A small, unfamiliar smile tugged at her lips. She hadn’t always liked things like this, anything that felt… feminine.
But now they made her feel something she didn’t quite have a name for. Something good.
The sunlight shifted, cascading fully across the dress, and Lilith stilled. The shimmer—her breath caught. It looked like his siphons. That same quiet glow of blue.
His image rose in her mind; his rare smile, the way his shadows curled and danced, the way his eyes softened, warming into that honeyed gold whenever they found her.
Her chest tightened “Your soul must want to live” Neema’s voice echoed through her thoughts, steady and unyielding.
And then, a softer and deeper voice “Come back” “Come back to me” “I’ll wait”. Words that had once haunted her, were now like an anchor
Lilith closed her eyes Yes she thought, certain. Her soul did want to live. Not just for him. But for this—this, uncertain, new life unfolding before her. She wasn’t just surviving anymore, even with the given situations.
She would endure them, face them, and this time she would live.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
They entered the townhouse clad in their finest leathers, every siphon gleaming.
Azriel’s shadows scattered instantly, slipping into every corner, every hallway, searching. He gave a brief nod to Mor and Amren in the sitting room.
“Well” Cassian drawled, stretching his arms “Glad we’re not the last ones” – “This one” he jerked a thumb toward Azriel “Was ready before I even woke up” Azriel ignored him.
Every part of him was somewhere else, waiting. And then his shadows stilled, shifting, curling inwards.
And then she walked in, wrapped in his shadows as if they belonged to her. Azriel drew in his first real breath in what felt like hours. His gaze locked onto her—and widened, she was wearing blue, his blue.
The next breath never came “Ours” “Beautiful” “Pretty” “Ours” His shadows whispered over one another, restless
A hint of a smile curved Lilith’s lips as she caught him ogling at her. She tilted her head ever so slightly, then flicked her eyes to the side in silent warning, as if to say something.
It took a long moment for the rest of the room to come into focus. For the High Lady standing beside her to register. Feyre, radiant as starlight against the dark. Azriel dipped his head at once in acknowledgement
A muffled laugh slipped from Feyre as she nudged Lilith lightly. She knew, exactly why the shadowsinger’s mind was so distracted.
There was laughter as Cassian tried awkwardly to compliment Feyre, Mor immediately cutting in with a jab.
A smile tugged at Lilith’s lips when her eyes met Azriel’s again. She bit her lip, the memory of his taste flickering through her. But he didn’t move, nor did she.
A shadow softly brushed along her cheek. Lilith closed her eyes, understanding the things he couldn’t say.
The door opened, and Nesta stepped in, wearing a gown of darkest blue. Lilith’s gaze shifted to Cassian. The storm of emotion in his eyes made something in her chest ache.
Nesta passed them all, stopping before Feyre, for a heartbeat, her gaze flicked to Lilith “You both look beautiful” Lilith’s eyes widened slightly, one glance at Feyre told her she was also surprised
“I’m going to keep my word” Nesta said quietly “I can’t stay here” Her eyes settled fully on Lilith now “Not after what you did” A pause “For Elain… and, even at the battle” Lilith’s throat tightened.
“I know you will fight for the humans” Nesta continued “But I won’t let you do it alone” And then whispered “It would make me a coward”
Lilith parted her lips, but no words came. Instead, her mind played a memory of Nesta laughing, spinning to music Lilith had played long ago. A different time.
“The position of emissary to the Human Lands is open” Rhysand’s smooth voice cut through “Care for the job?”
“I’ll make you pay to the teeth for my services” Nesta shot back.
“I’d expect nothing less from an Archeron sister” Lilith arched a brow at him. Rhysand only gave a lazy, knowing shrug.
“Twenty gold marks says a fight breaks out in forty minutes” Cassian announced.
“Forty, and I say thirty” Mor countered
“Fifty” Azriel’s voice cut through deep yet calm “Twenty minutes” Lilith turned to him, both brows lifting as she mouthed Twenty? Azriel replied with a faint tilt of his lips
“One hundred” Rhys said, cutting in “Fifteen minutes” Every eye snapped to him. He pointed straight at Lilith “Double if it’s this one”
The shadows around Lilith swirled either in agreement or protest; she couldn’t tell.
She gaped “Excuse me? I am perfectly in control of my emotions”
Mor snorted “Not when it comes to Feyre” And teasingly added “Or a certain shadowsinger” Azriel choked on his breath
Lilith snapped her mouth shut.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
To call the Dawn Court beautiful would have been an understatement. The sky stretched above them in sweeping strokes of blue, violet, and soft pink, like a living painting. It reminded her of sunrise over Velaris.
She lingered a step behind as Feyre and Rhysand were greeted, as names were exchanged and old friends met again.
“And they are?” Thesan asked at last, his gaze settling on Nesta and Lilith
They stepped forward “These are my sisters” Feyre said “Nesta and Lilith”. Thesan politely greeted before turning to Lilith. She offered her hand.“It’s nice to meet you” – “Thank you for having us”
Something shifted, it was subtle. Anyone else might have missed it. But Lilith didn’t. Thesan’s expression stilled, not in shock or surprise, but something close to searching. Her smile faltered.
“It… it’s a pleasure to have you” Thesan said too quickly, releasing her hand “Please, have a seat” – “I’ll… see that everything is prepared” He turned away before anyone could respond
Lilith’s brows knit as she watched him go. Slowly, she glanced toward her High Lord and Lady, silently questioning and confused.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Anger built up and up, but she didn’t lose control. Not when she saw Baron, heard his hollow logic. Not when Thesan and Helion watched her as if she were an object to study.
She felt it all, and showed nothing. They will say anything to provoke you What Feyre said before echoed in her mind. Then Rhysand’s Imagine it’s the Court of Nightmares He had said Just with less skin and more power. And Amren’s warning Don’t get rattled by words and call the shadows to you. In other words—don’t let them see what she was to the Night Court’s Spymaster.
Her gaze flicked to the thin band of shadow circling her wrist. That one never left, no matter how many times she told it to.
When Tamlin began spinning his tale of how Feyre had been under influence, how he had only been trying to protect her, Lilith wanted to laugh in his face. She found it assuming how a man who lived hundreds of years could still have his head up his ass
But irritation sharpened into something darker as he twisted Rhysand’s sacrifice. Every time he opened his mouth, it was like he was testing her limitations.
To be the mate of a spymaster to the court with many faces, put a target on her back. He couldn’t defend her here. Not when they were in a pit of vipers, ready to strike at any time. It was safe to say Azriel was on high alert, more than usual.
His shadows slipped through the room, whispering to him things he would not feel and something like pride stirred in him as Lilith observed her not loose control. Even when she had every reason not to.
Lilith knew what the sorry example of the High Lord was nothing but a joke, and what words came out of his mouth was nothing but bullshit. She shouldn’t give it much thought. But it became personal when he started speaking about Feyre’s character, and about Nesta’s.
She felt the familiar tingling sensation in her fingers
Azriel was having problems with his restraint unravelling as Tamlin’s story carried on, dragging Rhysand’s name, twisting truths into something distorted. And then—he felt it, power rising edged with fury. He silently sent his shadows in every corner of the room.
He felt Truth-Teller shifting, sliding a fraction from its sheath. His gaze snapped to Lilith, to the faint, unmistakable glow beginning in her eyes, in her hands. He tried to send something, anything down the bond, praying to the Mother that it would reach her.
Lilith wanted to tear Tamlin into pieces when a pang of fear and understanding hit her. She didn’t need to move to know it was Azriel’s emotions that somehow broke through her shields, reaching her. Surprisingly, it calmed her; she knew it wasn’t fear of her but for her.
Tamlin’s gaze flicked toward Cassian, then to the tendrils of shadow curling near Lilith. A mocking smirk spread across his face “Funny” He drawled “I see that’s not the only thing that runs in that family”
What came next, Lilith couldn’t control. A sharp laugh tore out of her
Tamlin’s lip curled “What is so amusing?”
Lilith gave a cold smile “You” She said “The entire Prythian stands on the brink of war, and you still can’t stop telling the tragic tale of the poor High Lord of Spring”
“That is not—” His mouth kept moving, but no sound followed
Lilith’s gaze slid to Rhysand. The High Lord only offered a slow, wicked smile.
The amount of selfishness between the courts and the utter lack of empathy for the innocent lives, let it be in lesser fae or humans, shifted something within Lilith. It just anger, it was deeper, ancient. It felt like a lock breaking open in her chest and what burst out was infinite.
She felt dizzy as she stood, the movement enough to draw attention from all. When she spoke, her voice was steady, quiet, but laced with power that did not belong to any court “Some of you have seen this war before” She said “You have watched it burn through lands and lives” Her gaze was cold as it slid across the room
“My sister and I” She glanced at Nesta “We were inside the Cauldron” A pause “We know what it is” – “What it wants”
Nesta rose beside her “We want one thing” She said sharp as a blade “To protect those who cannot protect themselves, fae or human, it makes no difference”
Her eyes hardened as they met each High Lord in turn “So tell me” – “What kind of rulers are you” She added with distaste “If you won’t even protect your own lands?”
A heartbeat of silence, then Feyre stood “These powers may once have belonged to you” Her voice calm and unyielding “But they are mine now” She continued “And I will use them” - “To protect what is mine”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Her body still hummed with energy. Lilith had outburst before, but this was different she felt like she was on fire.
They came in the suite. Although Lilith wanted to be alone for awhile calm her powers down, Mor practically dragged her
“Well, I’m surprised you didn’t lose it” Rhysand said as the door clicked behind them.
“She did” Azriel teased. Shadows circled her once again, and their coolness was welcoming
Lilith playfully smacked his chest as they sat on a long settee. Rhysand and Feyre occupied the one that was on the opposite side. And Cassian, taking up the armchair
“I controlled it” – “I wish I hadn’t” She looked at Feyre “You should have done more damage”
Feyre huffed a quiet laugh “Believe me, I wanted too”
A knock came from the door. Rhysand was already on his feet
“Don’t open it” – “Even with the shields, don’t” Mor called out. Lilith sent a confused look at her
Rhysand opened the door to find Helion standing there, grinning.
The High Lord of Day, to Lilith’s surprise, was not so bad. From the minute he walked in, the “Bastard act” as he called it, dropped. He gave Lilith the same gracious bow as he did to Feyre.
His gaze was still on her “You” Lilith stiffened, as shadows moved, taking a defensive position.
“Forgive me” Helion stated “It’s just that I can sense your magic” – “But I can’t seem to pinpoint what it truly is” Spell-Cleaver they called him. Of all the High Lords, he should at least have had a guess.
Lilith snorted “Join the club”
He plopped himself beside Mor, “It’s been centuries” He said with a dramatic sigh “And you three haven’t accepted my offer”
“I don’t like to share” Mor exclaimed. Lilith blinked in confusion
“Helion likes both males and females in bed and has been gunning for those three to join him for centuries” Rhysand’s voice filled his mind.
The power that’s been buzzing within her, did not help at that statement. Something sharp flared in her chest before she could stop it, something close to jealousy. Her head turned slowly toward Azriel. Why did that bother her? It was the past. Things were different now.
Azriel, smoothly draped an arm over her shoulders, a calculated move. He tucked Lilith towards her, pulling her close. A barely visible smile painted his face at the reaction of his mate learning about what the offer was.
He met her gaze, an eyebrow lifted up in question. His eyes were searching her now flushed face.
The question on that smug face sent the jealousy flying away, replaced with completely different sensation. And when Azriel barely caught his lower lip between his teeth. Her mind played the flashes of the night where his hands were on her.
“Get a room” Mor shouted across to their High Lord and Lady.
Lilith snapped into reality. She turned her gaze towards Mor, who was already looking at her You too she mouthed.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
She came back to an empty living room, her sisters already off to bed. It was not surprising, it was just, well, it was what it was
She walked towards the kitchen, praying to any God that atleast a glass of water would settle in her stomach.
She saw a light in her peripheral vision, she didn’t have to turn to know who it was
“I told you not to be awake Hanna”
There was no reply, but she heard the clatter of plates and pans, like always; Hanna made sure she had a plate of food every time she came back
Hanna placed the food on the table “And I told you it’s my duty not just as your handmaiden but also your friend to make sure you don’t go hungry to bed”
Lilith’s lip tilted up at the word friend, but it was gone in a heartbeat to see the food laid out. She gulped as she felt the all to familiar sensation again
Hanna gave her a familiar look, which told Lilith that if she didn’t eat, the whole lecture about pregnant women throwing up so many time that they practically lived in the toilets would come up again.
The difference they had life inside them, and hers was fading away
“Don’t” Hanna said “Do not think you are going anywhere” It was assuming; this had happened a lot of times that Hanna was able to read her expressions
Lilith gave a knowing look as she spoonful of rice.
She finally reached her room after supper. Her mind was playing tricks on her, there was no bile in her throat. No sensation of throwing up or weakness. But she was barely able to eat anything, the memory coming in flashes. And with the power still buzzed within her, the feeling was not good, she left like she was going to combust.
Azriel was standing outside for a good minute, thinking whether to go in or not. Should I go in? He thought Will I be able to control? The dress she wore on top of the jealousy, that was written all over her face. It didn’t help at all.
His shadows kept whispering that they would be alert to stop him. They knew that it wasn’t-
“Planning to burn a hole through the door” Cassian voice cut through thoughts “Why you thinking so hard about this?” He asked approaching beside him
Azriel didn’t answer; he just flicked his eyes towards the hall. And then back at Cassian
Cassian understood the warning – and didn’t care.
She didn’t have a chance to sit before a knock came from the door. She opened it, to find the two Illyrians standing there
Cassian grinned and entered like he owned the place. And then the other followed cloaked in shadows
Lilith arched a brow “Do I want to know?”
Cassian dropped onto the bed with a sigh “Probably not”
Azriel’s gaze lingered on her for a second too long “Rhys has my room shielded” Lilith said before either of them could speak
“I have wings” Cassian muttered, glancing around “And somehow you still get the bigger bed”
“Cass” Lilith warned. He held up his hands in defeat
The humour quickly drained, as he said “Nesta” His voice was serious now “She said something felt off” He paused “Wrong” He met Lilith’s eyes “Do you feel anything like that?”
Lilith blinked, caught off guard “No” She said automatically
She hesitated before adding “I’m more connected..to my powers” She furrowed her brows “Right now it’s closer to the surface than usual” She searched for the right words “Like it’s trying to get out”
She sighed “It doesn’t feel good” Azriel straightened from where he was leaning on the wall
Lilith noticed that, and quickly added “But I’m fine” She didn’t sound convincing
Cassian pushed off the bed. “Right” He a glance to Azriel and then back to her “I’ll let Rhys know. He headed for the door without waiting for a response.
Azriel didn’t follow.
As soon as Cassian left, the room somehow felt smaller.
Lilith’s eyes flicked to the shadowsinger—his gaze already on her
“And” She drawled “What did you want?”
Azriel’s lips tilted up as he crossed the space between them. He had been holding back from the moment he saw her in that dress. Not anymore.
His hand came to her cheek, sliding to the nape of her neck as he pulled her in and kissed her.
The kiss was raw. Hungry. Her imagination had done it no justice. Lilith’s arms circled his neck as she tilted her head, giving him more. When her teeth caught his lower lip, a low growl rumbled from him, deepening the kiss.
But he didn’t go further. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t—not here.
A soft whimper escaped her as they parted.
“Trust me, Angel” He murmured, his voice rough, sending a shiver down her spine “I’ve thought about it”
She couldn’t stop herself “What have you thought about?” Her voice was breathless
The hardness that pressed on her lower stomach was evident in the things he thought about “It doesn’t involve my family being around” He said quietly “Or yours”
Lilith didn’t move away, tilting her chin up instead.
“Or being in a pit of vipers”
That stopped her. The words hit like an ice wind. Lilith grunted as she pulled back, putting space between them before she lost control again.
Her gaze narrowed “So you came here just to torture me?”
Azriel didn’t move. A low chuckle left him “Believe me” He said “It’s nothing compared to the torture you’ve put me through”
Her brow arched in question
“The jealousy” He stated, his gaze dragging slowly over her “And that damned dress” He tapped the siphon at his wrist—the exact same shade of blue
Lilith cleared her throat “Anything else?” She could have stepped closer. Could have pushed. She didn’t. Because he was right.
Azriel stepped closer anyway, his control hanging by a thread. A shadow slipped forward, placing the dagger into his hand, the one he had made for her.
“Here” A wicked glint flashed in his eyes. “Tomorrow, we are not so friendly”
Lilith took it, mesmerised “Az…” She breathed, awe softening her voice “It’s beautiful”
She bit her lip—and his gaze dropped instantly
His control slipped another inch “You’re playing a dangerous game, Angel”
Gods, she should have stopped. But the look in his eyes, the warning in his tone, only made her want to push further.
“For someone who’s feared across Prythian” Lilith’s brow lifted in challenge “You sure hesitate a lot”
Azriel’s eyes darkened at the challenge. In an instant he pressed Lilith to the wall, caging her in with his body “You are in trouble” He growled, voice rough.
The glint in Lilith’s eyes made all his control vanish. His mouth slammed down on hers in a devouring kiss. Lilith moaned into it, arms wrapping around his neck. This was what she wanted, the only thing that quieted the chaos outside when he held her like this. She bit his lip, and this time, Azriel didn’t hold back. Her power buzzed at her fingertips, threads of silver-blue sparking wildly; she was hot, desperate. Instinct took over as she wrapped one leg around his waist and rolled her hips. Another moan escaped her at the feel of his hard length pressing against her.
One hand slid down to grip her hip. The other tangled in her hair, tilting her head so he could kiss her deeper. When she rocked against him, desperate and needy, Azriel shifted without thinking, sliding one thick, muscled thigh firmly between her legs.
Shifting the fabric of her dress, she ground down on his thigh. The angle was perfect, the hard muscle pressing right where she ached most. The friction sent jolts of pleasure shooting through her. Her hand went straight to his cock, rubbing the thick length through his leathers.
She stroked him from base to tip, thumb brushing over the swollen head where he was already leaking.
A low groan tore from his throat “Fuck” He hissed against her mouth, hips jerking into her touch. The bond roared in his chest, demanding he claim her, mark her, bury himself inside what was his. His shadows tugged sharply at his shoulders in warning, trying to pull him back
Her grip tightened “Lily” He moaned her name like a prayer “Fuck —just like that”
Shadows brushed lightly along Lilith’s inner thigh and neck with affection. They loved her too much to fully stop this. The dual sensation of cool shadows on her heated skin sent her riding harder, faster “Az, gods — this feels so good” Her other hand clutched his shoulder, nails digging in.
Azriel’s breath came fast and ragged. He gripped her ass with one hand, helping guide her frantic movements on his thigh, while the other braced against the wall. He dropped his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin just below her ear, leaving marks that clothing would hide tomorrow
“You’re so fucking wet” He growled against her throat, voice dark and filthy “I can feel you through my leathers” Lilith’s breath panted, her movements growing wilder “I know you’re close” His voice dropped even lower “Come for me, Angel”
Compelled by his words, Lilith pressed her head to his chest, muffling a sharp cry as her orgasm crashed over her in waves. Threads of silver-blue power flew around them, mingling with the shadows.
The feeling of her falling apart on his thigh, the way she clenched and shuddered against him, pushed Azriel over the edge right after her. He groaned deep and guttural, hips jerking as he spilled hot and hard into his leathers, pulsing under the steady stroke of her hand.
They stayed pressed together for a long moment, panting, bodies still buzzing with aftershocks. Azriel wrapped an arm around Lilith’s waist, holding her firmly on his thigh as she rode out the final tremors.
“You are cruel, Angel” He whispered roughly, brushing his knuckles along the side of her face “You make me lose every last ounce of control”
Lilith let out a breathless laugh, cheeks flushed, legs still shaky as she leaned into him “Good. Because you make me lose every bit of mine”
He tilted her chin up and kissed her again - softer this time, then deeper, the heat between them still simmering beneath the surface.
There was a heartbeat of silence “Tomorrow’s meeting is going to be hell” He murmured against her lips, the weight of Dawn Court and the gathering High Lords pressing in on him. “But I don’t regret anything.”
Lilith smiled softly. “I don’t either.”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Morning came too soon, Azriel had been on edge long before she walked in. He felt her before he saw her, the shift in the air, the wrongness through the bond. Lilith stepped into the foyer, clad in Illyrian leathers, dagger strapped to her thigh, something in his chest tightened. She looked like herself, but she did not feel like herself.
Power clung to her. Not the steady burn he had come to recognise, but something uncontrollable, waiting for release.
And then she looked at him “What is wrong?” His voice came out sharper than intended.
She sat between him and Feyre, the seat he had saved for her. His hand slid beneath the table immediately, fingers closing around her wrist. He flinched “Your burning up, Lily” It wasn’t like the heat yesterday when they were close, it was like a fever either.
No this was something else; wrong that prickled his skin.
Her eyes moved too carefully taking in her surroundings before action. White wings crossed his peripheral vision, Thesan entering, Seraphim at his back. The other High Lords followed shortly after, power brushing against power in suffocating waves. But Azriel’s mind was occupied by what was wrong with his mate.
“What’s wrong?” Feyre’s voice echoed in Lilith’s mind calm yet concerned
Lilith’s reply came too fast “I don’t know Feyre… but something is—I don’t feel right.” Her voice fractured “Tell Az… please tell Az there is something wrong—not with me” – “Let them all know that what Nesta felt was right”
Azriel’s gripped tighten on her hand as he heard the message from his High Lady.
Azriel barely registered the High Lords taking their seats, Rhys beginning the meeting, words being exchanged about the war, alliances, Hybern. None of it mattered. Because the power inside Lilith—was building.
His shadows recoiled as the felt it too. That never happened. The shadows had loved Lilith since the beginning. They sometimes even disobeyed him when it came to her.
Her fingers trembled under his, as the voice came in her head “Come to me” They laughed “Use me by your will” –“We’ll tell you all our true secrets”
Azriel’s full focus was on her as she gazed up to the window. Too still, she was too still
Someone got up and ran, “I” Nesta’s voice broke his focus “Something is wrong” she terribled as she clutched her stomach and hurled
Azriel snapped his head back to Lilith gripping her arm as she stared at the sky, lips moving soundlessly.
“I—” Nesta voice broke, raw, terrified. “Something is very wrong” - “Not with us—” she gasped, and threw up once again.
Cassian lunged for her. “Nesta—”
“Don’t touch me!” She cried, shaking, eyes wide with horror “It’s calling”
Azriel moved in front of Lilith without thinking, hands cupping her face, forcing her to look at him “Lily” Her eyes were unfocused “Angel, look at me”
Her lips parted taking a shallow breath “The book—” That was all she got out before silver-blue threads sparked from her skin.
Helion leaned forward, eyes sharp. Across the room Beron rose to this feet “What in the Cauldron—” He snapped
“Sit down” Rhys snarled, power cracking like lightning through the chamber.
The floor began to shake, violently. The entire Dawn Court palace shuddered as if something beneath it had awakened.
And then— silence.
Lilith collapsed forward, gasping. Azriel caught her before she hit the ground. The power was completely gone. The heat completely vanished
She shoved out of his grip, stumbling toward the window. Azriel followed her, his gaze now fell on what had happened and this blood turn to ice
The Wall—was gone, rubbing into pieces across Prythian
Rhys breathed, low and deadly “Hybern”
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪
Note: I hope you guys lied it. I kept debating if i shout add Lilith riding Az, but idk it just felt right.
I know it's taking longer than usual, but i need to have a certain state of mind to write Lily's character.
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
on thin ice
hockey star!az x premed/nerdy!reader
summary: azriel is a senior at the university of michigan and the star center and captain of their hockey team. it seems like he has everything a man could ever ask for—good grades, loyal teammates, top pick in the nhl draft, girls falling all over him all the time…
but then you come along—his anatomy lab partner for the semester.
you’re a quiet, closed off sophomore studying neuroscience, and you’ve never heard of him—haven’t even watched a single hockey game in your life.
azriel doesn’t know how you fit into his life and why you seem to throw such a wrench into his future plans—but he does know that he has to have you, and he’ll stop at nothing to make sure you see that he’s something that you can let yourself have.
series warnings: violence (it’s hockey), my minimal hockey knowledge (but extensive anatomy knowledge), pining and yearning, azriel is down bad and reader is too scared, mentions of past trauma, anxious!reader, panic attacks, eventual smut
add yourself to the taglist
one (coming soon!)
Well, I wrote an Eris fanfic, and it's not showing in the latest updates. I don't know if it's a glitch or something else. So, creating this post just in case. If anybody knows, please lemme know
Part1
The Snowflake and The Fire
Summary: They met Under the Mountain. Carved a thin slice of happiness from the misery. But all things changed after she got to know what he was hiding.
Warnings: Lil angst, soft Eris?, female reader , Non-canon
Author's Note: Hi guys, please go a little easy on me. This is the first time I'm writing Eris. The idea came to me when i was writing my other ACOTAR series. I think it would be like a 3 parts thing. Anways ENJOY!
Italic sentences mean past memories.
Part2
He saw her again at the summons of the High Lords; he saw her usual glowing skin now, now had a grey sheen to it. His heart twisted. The sharp bob of pale-blonde hair, normally so bright it bordered on white, hung dull and brittle around her face. And she had become thin. Too thin. His jaw clenched. By the Mother, she had looked better under the Mountain.
His gaze went to her eyes; that fire in them didn’t dim, not even close. Fragile hope filled his chest.
His father whispered something to him about the High Lady of Night's power, and he just nodded, going along. He didn’t care. Not when she was sitting right opposite to him, still burning
She knocked on the door
“Ember!” Mor exclaimed, “Come in”
Ember slipped inside, brows rising when she spotted the High Lord of Day himself lounging in an armchair like he owned the room “Are you still trying to get them together?” She asked dryly.
Helion’s unsuccessful attempts to convince the Illyrians, Azriel and Cassian, and Mor to join him in bed, all at once.
Helion pressed a hand to his chest “A male can hope”
Ember only shook her head, lips twitching despite the exhaustion shadowing her features.
Her gaze shifted to Rhysand and Feyre. The soft smile she gave them was real “I never got the chance to thank you” She said quietly “For everything” Everyone knew Feyre, Cursebreaker. But Rhysand… Rhysand had helped her more times than anyone realised. He and-
“You don’t need to be so formal with us, Ember” Rhysand said “You’re a friend”
Something flickered in her eyes at that. Gratitude. Weariness. And beneath it all, that same unbroken spark.
Ember had gone along with Mor and Helion for as long as she could stand it, laughing when expected, playing along with Helion’s theatrics. But the moment the teasing shifted toward something heated, she slipped out.
“I see your taste has changed” Eris calmly said, blocking her path towards her room
She tried to sidestep him. He moved with her, blocking her again
“Move” She snapped
Eris smirked “Not in the mood to play, little fire?”
Rage shot through her veins. Before he could blink, her hand wrapped around his throat, slamming him back against the wall.
Eris didn’t fight. His eyes glittered with something dark “I remember when you liked me doing this” He rasped
Ember’s grip tightened “You let her die” Each word as sharp as a blade. Eris’s smirk faltered
“You knew” She hissed “You knew about the forty babes in my home, and you did nothing”
All colour drained from his face. The spark in his eyes dimmed, replaced by something hollow. Haunted. For a heartbeat, he looked like a ghost.
Her hand trembled with fury before she released him. He didn’t chase her. Didn’t speak. Didn’t even breathe as she brushed past. Just like before, he let her walk away. Again.
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
Winter was building itself again.The war had taken a toll on everyone, but her home, her people, had endured. The number of soldiers had thinned, though not by much. Winter warriors were trained differently, conditioned from the earliest ranks to withstand nearly anything. Resilient. Unyielding.
Ember stood in the first snowfall of the Winter Solstice month, letting the flakes settle on her face. It was ritual, memory, and prayer all at once. Her mother once told her she was born on the first snowfall of this very month. It was considered a blessing in Winter Court tradition.
The irony of naming her Ember had never been lost on her.
“Ember! Get in!” Her brother’s voice drifted from the doorway
“Coming, Kal” She called back
Still, she lingered a heartbeat longer, closing her eyes, whispering the same small wish she offered every year. A small and silent prayer for her mother, for her family.
As soon as she stepped inside, Viviane and Kallias broke into song.
“Happy birthday to you…”
Ember froze. Fifty years. Fifty years of not celebrating her birthday with her sister and her brother. Amarantha ensured Kallias was kept far from her. The separation had ached, but it was also a reminder of that day-
Ember could see the first snow fall, “Well, Happy Birthday, Ember” She told herself, blowing on the candle and a piece of cupcake she stole from the kitchens
“Well, isn’t this….cute? Sad?” A voice drawled. She whipped her head to see Autumn’s Heir standing leaning against the wall, arms crossed, amber eyes glinting.
She didn’t bother hiding her annoyance “It’s none of your concern, Eris” – “Or are you going to report me for just celebrating my birthday quietly?” She shot back
“I should? Shouldn’t I?” He gave a lazy, practised smirk
Ember glared at him “Do whatever pleases you”
Winter Court members who’d survived Under the Mountain were used to cruelty, used to being watched and judged. She didn’t flinch anymore. Not even from him, not from anyone.
Eris' unusual calm demeanour, cracked, as if he knew exactly where her mind went “Happy Birthday, Winter Princess” His voice softened. With that, he left.
She blew out the candles, laughter catching in her throat as she embraced her sister and her brother “Thank you, Kal” She murmured
Kallias’s eyes softened. He brushed a gentle hand down her back, a slow, grounding stroke she remembered from childhood.
Viviane, incapable of containing her excitement, grabbed Ember’s arm “Come, come” She urged, practically vibrating.
They walked down the hallway together, and when Ember stepped into her chamber, her jaw dropped.
“VIV!” Her eyes widened. Piles of wrapped boxes, silver, blue, white, and glittering, covered half the room.
Viviane only chuckled. “Half of them are from our court” She said delightfully
“You’ve made such good connections with the other courts these past months” - “What was I supposed to do?” Viviane teased “Turn them away?”
Ember huffed a soft laugh, overwhelmed. She didn’t even know where to begin, so she reached for the smaller boxes
Vivaiane turned halfway to the door “Oh” She paused “Before I forget”
She took out a letter and a small red box from her dress pocket “These also came” She whispered
Ember’s breath hitched, seeing the maple stamp on the letter. Her fingers froze. She lifted her gaze to Viviane, who tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the concern tightening her mouth.
Ember shook her head. Viviane was the only one she had ever told. One night months ago, when the pain wouldn’t quiet, when Ember was torn between duty and longing, between truth and the memory of a male she lost and a male she still feared wanting.
“Does—”
“No,” Viviane cut her off gently. “Kallias doesn’t have a clue.” Her brows furrowed in concern “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him?” Ember nodded
Not yet. Maybe not ever
She unlocked the small wooden box on her dresser, lined with simple magic to protect its contents. Inside were several similar maple-stamped letters, all untouched. She added the new letter and the red box to the pile, unopened, unread, and closed the lid.
The room felt quieter for it. Heavier.
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
“You What?” Viviane and Ember said in unison
Kallias raised his brows “Umm” –“I seem to miss a few details” His knowing look flicked between his mate and his sister
“It’s nothing” Viviane said too quickly
Ember cleared her throat “Autumn has never been kind to us” She slipped into her emissary role with ease “Why must we entertain this?”
Kallias took a slow breath, choosing his words carefully “It’s a crowning” He said “We all knew Eris would take the throne” He paused, holding up the letter in his hand “This is to make it official”
“It’s not like he is becoming the High Lord” Viviane mumbled
Kallias sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose “Look, I don’t want to argue.” His tone shifted to the authority of Winter “Em, you’re going”- “And that is final”
Ember didn’t sleep that night. She couldn’t. She lay awake in her bed, every thought circling back to the same reality: She would have to see him. Speak to him. Stand before him without Viviane at her side, without Kallias’s quiet strength in the corner of the room.
No safety net. No excuses.
Her stomach twisted. Her breath came too fast. Anxiety flashed through her body. She pressed a hand to her chest, willing her heartbeat to steady.
She’d faced Amarantha. She’d survived Under the Mountain. She’d walked through war and blood and loss.
But the thought of seeing him again, that was the thing that kept her wide awake until dawn.
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
“Eris” His mother’s voice came, soft, cracked, but also commanding. He stopped in the hallway
He turned, immediately and stepped into her chamber “Ma” He said gently “I told you to be careful”
She lifted a trembling hand and touched his right cheek, fingers brushing the faded bruise that still lingered “What did he do to you, my sweet boy?”
Eris’s expression shifted, all sharpness dissolving for her alone “Better me than you” He whispered.
She swallowed hard, blinking rapidly “Apply the salve I gave you last time” She said “Do not forget this time” Eris nodded
A heartbeat went by before she asked “Did you get any word?”
“Lucien is safe” Eris answered automatically “He’s adjusting”
Her head snapped toward him with a look that pinned his gaze on the ground “I know that” She said “I wasn’t asking about him”
Eris inhaled sharply and blinked once, hard “Not that I know of” He said, steadying his voice into something neutral.
She straightened, her gaze turning razor-sharp and unbearably tender all at once “A mother knows, Eris” She used the same tone when he was young and got caught lying. Every time he lied to protect her, to protect himself, to protect someone else he cared about
He said nothing.
Eris lay on his bed, the room dark except for the soft glow of the fireplace. He held the letter in his hands, reading it for what felt like the hundredth time.
To the Crowned Prince of Autumn,
I’m pleased to inform you that Winter will be attending the celebration of your official title. Our emissary, Ember, would be there two nights before the celebration.
Please take the necessary steps to accommodate her
Sign Kallias
His breath left him in a slow, shuddering exhale. Two nights early. Alone. No sister. No High Lord. No buffer. Just her.
He closed his eyes, gripping the parchment tight enough that it crinkled. The bruise on his cheek throbbed dully, an echo of his father’s temper, of the endless performance he played at court.
But this…this hurt in a different way. This he felt in his soul.
Ember is coming here, he thought to himself. And Mother help him, because he wasn’t ready.
°❆⋆ঌ.࿐
They sat together at one of Amarantha’s forced celebrations, something Ember never attended unless ordered. Gods knew how, Eris had convinced her to go with him.
“So” Ember muttered, turning her head toward him “What is this about?”
Eris didn’t answer. His eyes were fixed on the females offering dances to the males, hips swaying, mouths painted with the promise of distraction. The wine was working through his system, he was on his sixth glass.
Ember huffed “Why am I not surprised?” she muttered under her breath.
Sometime late, she got up and gave a gracious bow to Amarantha, Her stomach churned, bile rising in her throat. She gave a nod and got dismissed.
Ember fled
A knock sounded at her door not long after. She opened it, and of course, there he stood Eris. Smug smile. Stinking of perfume and liquor. Ember scrunched her nose in disgust.
“What do you want?” She demanded
“You left early” Eris slurred
“You're drunk” Eris furrowed his brow “Oh! I thought we were stating obvious facts” Ember said dryly
“You missed all the fun” He gave a smug smirk, stepping inside
“You might enjoy half-naked female rubbing against you” – “I certainly don’t” She snapped back
“Hmmmm” He prowled forward. Ember stepped back until her spine hit the wall “How about a male?” He purred
Then his mouth was on hers, rough, uninvited. Ember shoved him off with a snarl and slapped him. Hard. The sound cracked through the air.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand
“Get.Out” She growled
He left. And everything shattered. Both of them knew what that moment meant, how it tore their careful balancing act apart.
What Ember didn’t expect was everything that came after. The slow shedding of his mask whenever they were alone. The quiet apologies he didn’t know how to speak aloud. The attachment that built itself through nights of whispered truths and stolen moments until a single day without him felt like a wound.
She sighed. She didn’t know why she thought about those memories, didn’t know why she tortured herself like that. Her mind just won’t listen to her sometimes.
She rubbed her eyes as she got up from the bed. She splashed cold water on her face. And saw her reflection in the mirror. Time had changed her. A hollow of the beauty she once was.
Eris laughed “Hey-hey” he chucked “Stop” he caught an arm, as the other continued
Ember grinned “Who would have thought” She tickled him again “That Eris Vanessra would be so ticklish?” He caught the other hand and pulled her close
“Only you” She felt his breath, as he leaned in closer –
Ember clenched her jaw tight, staring at her reflection
He knew, about the babes, about the attack. He knew. And she wouldn’t forget that, couldn’t. Not ever
She descended the stairs, staring at the bags waiting by the door. Going to Autumn Court, being in the same space as him, felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, scared but also something else she refused to acknowledge. Her loyalty to Kallias mattered more than anything she felt. Or didn’t want to feel.
Kallias met her at the landing, worry carved into his silver-lined gaze “Ready?” He asked softly. Ember nodded.
“Now listen to me” He said, voice gentle. The brother she knew, even as it carried the authority of a High Lord “Don’t let them get under your skin” Another nod.
“Write to me every day” He added, eyes softening “I’ll miss you”
She couldn’t trust her voice, so she didn’t reply. She simply picked up her bags and stepped outside. And left for Autumn Court.
₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ ⋆꙳❅*‧ ₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡
Note: I really hope you guys liked it, i always felt Eris, just would have a soft side, you know.
Comments are open, please let me know what you think.
Court of Calm Chaos - Series List (Ongoing)
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
(* Indicates smut)
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6 *
Chapter 7 *
Chapter 8 *
Chapter 9
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
me staying up late to read fanfictions when I know I’m supposed to be asleep
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 6
Summary: After the battle in the Summer Court, something shift inside Lilith, as she and Azriel grow closer. And her new family is able to get her out of her shell.
Warnings: Mature content, 18+ (just a few sentences), dealing with loss in an unhealthy way, alcohol
Authors Note: Hi guys! Finally this chapter is here. I had so much fun writing it, I hope you guys enjoy. Comments are open to all.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Lilith sat on the floor near the fire, her stable hands still coated with the marks she left on the male’s today. She had attacked them, but in defence. She felt a presence beside her. Feyre squeezed Lilith’s hand; she looked up to see her sister’s worried gaze. Lilith shook her head and turned her gaze towards the fire.
Lilith knew why the male attacked her; she had roamed those woods enough to know what was going to happen if she didn’t. She saw that hunger in his eyes; he had pinned her to a tree. She didn’t hesitate when she took her dagger out and stabbed him, didn’t hesitate when she pinned him to the floor and held it to his throat. The man stayed motionless, his eyes now showed horror, the familiar metallic scent hit the cold air-
“Lilypad”, She jolted at the voice of her father “It’s late” Her father looked at her with a worried gaze. Indeed, it was late when all her sisters went to sleep
She got up, mustering a smile, “Goodnight Father” she said as she headed inside
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
The sound of metal clashing against metal, of screaming, and orders being shouted filled the air. Lilith’s breath came in ragged gasps as she yanked her dagger free from another Hybern soldier. She wasn’t in the heart of the battle, but still, she was here. When she first saw the battlefield, her body slipped into a strange yet familiar cold calm. She was fighting despite Feyre’s protests.
She fought side by side with fae she didn’t recognise; Lilith just knew her targets. Her power buzzing underneath her skin, spiralling. She released just enough magic to make an oncoming arrow miss. She wasn’t sure how she ended up surrounded by five soldiers closing in on her in a circle.
Two lunged, and she dodged to the side. But the sword hit her shoulder, a tingling at first, but then pain rippled through her arm. Lilith bared her teeth.
Now.
She loosened the leash on the magic, twisting and turning the very metal armour that protected them, into shards of steel moving inwards, piercing their bodies. They cried in pain, hitting the ground “It’s—” a soldier choked out, staring at her in horror “It’s you” Then silence
Lilith entered the palace doors. She was thankful for the fae healing, as the wound was now almost half closed. She scanned the place for any familiar face; the soldiers of night and summer alike were around, nursing their wounds.
“Where are you?” Lilith sighed in relief as Feyre’s voice echoed in her mind
“Palace entry” She replied
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
“You are no less of a fool than the General” Madja said. She had come to the Town House, on the High Lady's orders, to have the Inner Circle checked up after the battle “Getting reckless, like this” she shook her head “On a battlefield”
Tarquin, the High Lord of Summer, was thankful enough to forgive the ‘unfortunate incident’ as he put it, as Night was the only one who came to their aid.
Lilith had put him in his place after she had seen through his denial of what Feyre and Rhysand were trying to explain
Lilith had just walked up to them, and calmly told “I do not have any ties with you, High Lord of Summer” – “Nor any responsibilities in the Court I reside in” She glanced at Feyre and Rhysand “And yet I stand here fighting for the lives of your Court” – “And yes I know what you think” She paused “If the book was still here it wouldn’t come to this”
She looked to Tarquin, “If the book was still here” – “It would have been, much, much worse” – “And I think deep down you know it too”
Lilith winced at Madja’s sharp tone as she healed her; she didn’t even know there were wounds on her legs and back
“Thank you, Madja” Lilith said with a smile,
“Wait” Lilith saw the healer’s solemn face “I need to do one more test” Lilith opened her mouth to protest “No question, Lilith” Madja’s tone was final “Come to the clinic in 2 days”
Lilith gave a nod to the Healer as she walked her out.
That night, Lilith held the note in one hand and a mug of steaming tea in another. It wasn’t the first time she had had the dream about being in the Cauldron. But were they dreams, though? The taunts from it were quite specific, Bring her to me, it had told Lilith.
She sat in the armchair. Lilith needed answers, not just about the dreams, but this newfound sensation of longing she felt. But it felt far off, not inside her but reaching to her
She glanced at the note again, whispering to the empty room,“Yours, Azriel”
He was gone, to where, well, she didn’t know; his spymaster duties. Lilith knew it was far and dangerous to some level, as none of the shadows remained.
She missed them, had gotten attached to them. Even on the battlefield, one of the shadows remained with her. Lilith chuckled at the memory of the tiny shadow slipping from her hair after they landed back in Velaris. Azriel was gone by then, and it had followed him.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
At dawn, standing on the training field, much smaller than the one in the Wind House and without the protection wards
There are no protection wards on the battlefield, Lilith thought to herself. She began setting up different target boards and a training dummy in front of her. On the ground were different swords and daggers.
She started training with the dummy, releasing bits of magic towards the sword and daggers; few hit the targets, others missed. She remembered Mor’s comment Any target missed is an enemy approaching you closer. She tried again, and again, her physical focus elsewhere, when her magic focus was somewhere different
Her jaw clenched as the mocking of Cauldron ran in her head, “That’s all you can do, bend some objects?”
Lilith halted, as her ears began to ring with the screams and shouts of the innocent people of the Summer Court. Something shifted within her as her power buzzed; this time, she didn’t leash it as it blew in streaks of blue and silver.
Lilith panted as she saw the image before her: the boards, shattered, and the dummy in half. A satisfying grin crossed her face. And she continued
A faint gasp came from a distance. Lilith whipped her head, eyes widening in surprise to see Feyre standing there, looking utterly shocked. Lilith just gave an awkward wave to her sister. This was the first time she was seeing her powers
They walked inside the house and settled down
“I wanted to check up on you” Feyre said with worry, no pleasantries then – straight to the point, Lilith noted
“Lily” = “The battle I know how difficult it must-
“I’m fine, re-re” Lilith didn’t let her complete the sentence. Feyre was always worried; she always thought the silence Lilith had after attacking any male was of guilt
“Please don’t lie to me” Feyre's voice was full of concern
How can I explain to her that I am totally fine? That guilt and shame of killing never dawned on me; ever. Lilith sighed, “I am not” She held Feyre’s hand “Truly”
Feyre opened her mouth to protest, as footsteps approached “There you are, darling” Rhysand took a seat next to her “I've been wondering where you went” Lilith took a long breath of relief, mouthing a ‘Thank you’ towards Rhysand
“Illyrian baby” Feyre teased as he elbowed him gently
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith and Rhysand entered the House of Wind,
“Before Cass gets here” Rhysand said, “I heard what you were thinking” Lilith's brows furrowed
Rhysand sighed, “The conversation with Feyre when she asked how you were”
Lilith's eyes widen “Rhys, why did-” – “You practically shouted the thought” – “I can't control it all the time” Rhysand explained with apologetic eyes.
Rhysand held her shoulders “But I’d like you to know it’s completely fine” – “Feeling like that, I mean”
He stood up straight, an odd spark in his eye “You need to work on your mental shields” He said defiantly
Lilith narrowed her eyes “Yes, High Lord” She gave a mocking bow; her brother-in-law just laughed
Lilith watched the glow of the sunset. She shook her head, seeing Cassian arriving with Mor, and Lilith hugged the female with a smile.
Cassian pouted, “What? I don’t get the same welcome”
Lilith chuckled and hugged him “You were supposed to be here an hour ago” Cassian held his hand up in defeat
As they sat together, “You fought well” Cassian said, pride in his voice. A warm feeling spread in Lilith’s chest. Mor had told her that, but to hear it from the General of the Night Court’s army, well, she didn’t know how to react. Lilith grinned and nodded.
“So will you be going to the Court of Nightmares?” Lilith asked Mor
Mor tisked, “I have to” – “I know where Keir keeps his treasures”
They had spoken about the mirror, how to obtain it; if asking won't help, stealing would. Lilith would not be joining them. Unfortunately, she had a different task, with Azriel not here and Nesta with Amren—
“How do you feel about seeing Elain?” Mor questioned,
Lilith blinked “Well” She took a long breath “I think I should be with her” – “I know things have been” She glanced at them “Awkward” Cassian huffed “But well, it is what it is”
“You guys need to show up in Hewn, Nesta and Amren are working on the book” – “I understand why Feyre and Rhys asked me for this” Lilith shrugged
Mor wrapped a comforting arm around Lilith “Well, let's loosen up for tomorrow's event” She said in a baby-cute voice that had Lilith and Cassian laughing.
After dinner, one drink turned into two, it became three as Cassian and Mor shared the experiences of the last war. Lilith was on her fourth glass; she was on the fine line of somewhere between tipsy and drunk.
Mor poured another glass for herself “I can't wait for this to get over” – “I want the normal back”
Normal, that word, sent Lilith to chug the remaining amber liquor
“What is normal?” Lilith began
“Huh?” Mor said
Lilith hugged the pillow, drooping towards the side “When I was young, normal was to play with my sisters, to sit in my father’s study” Lilith slurred her words “Normal was to play the piano in front of everyone before we had to sell it” Lilith sighed
She was pouring herself another glass, Mor was about to stop her, but Cassian stopped her “Let her speak this”
Lilith took a huge sip “In the cottage when Feyre was there, normal was hunting, protecting, making sure everyone was fed” Her words slurred more now.
She forgot the pillow and sat hunched “But when she left, and we got the riches back, normal was being alone, going to treatment alone” her hand was tilting to left and right with every sentence
Lilith looked out to the sky from the balcony “Survival mode was normal” Lilith chuckled “And then I got here” Lilith pointed to the ground. With lips pouted, she looked at Mor and Cassian, who were listening with interest.
Lilith finished her glass “I thought everything would be fine” – “New body, New life” Lilith let out a dry laugh “Nope” Lilith said, emphasising the ‘p’ “Feyre gone” – “Unknown magic” = “War” Each statement was told in a half laugh.
She took a huge gulp of drink and growled out “Idiotic dreams about the fucking Cauldron”
Suddenly, Lilith’s gaze went to the corridor where all the rooms were. Cassian and Mor follow her gaze and then look at her in surprise
“That voice” Lilith said her tone more stable than before, a seriousness in the tone
Cassian and Mor shared a look “What voice?” the former asked
Lilith looked between them, glass in hand “It sounds familiar” – “I think it is him” – “No, I KNOW” – “I heard him” – “I'm 98…no 99% sure, it was him” Lilith emptied her glass
Lilith popped her legs up “Idiotic shadow boy” She slurred
Mor couldn’t help but laugh. Cassian was grinning at Lilith,
“With those eyes” – “That smile” Lilith mumbled as her eyes drifted shut
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Soft, silky sheets were what she felt, as her senses came back. Lilith’s eyes were shut; she didn’t want to open them
The smell of cedar hit her, followed by coffee and eggs. She stirred; it was too damn tempting
Lilith opened her eyes and sat up, adjusting to the blinding light and the pounding headache. She took her black blanket away
Wait? Black? Lilith looked around the room, a heart pounding, soft grey walls, black silk sheets, a dresser on the opposite side, and so many weapons. Lilith gasped, the smell of cedar and night-chilled hitting her
Fuck ! What was I doing in Azriel’s room? She got up and bolted out
Lilith sat on the dining table, not able to meet Cassian and Mor’s eyes,
“Morning, Lil” Cassian said in a singing voice. Lilith gave a small wave
After eating some of her food, Lilith couldn’t take it anymore. She put her spoon down with more force than necessary “Both of you are just going to pretend?”
Mor arched a brow “What happened?” She said teasingly, “We are not pretending”
“Oh shut up” Lilith retorted “How did I end up” She paused, warmth creeping in her face “In Azriel’s room?” Her voice became a loud whisper
They both laughed as Lilith looked between them, “So you truly don’t remember?” Cassian said in the midst of laughter
“No, I don’t” Lilith exclaimed
“Okay, okay” Mor said between chuckles “What’s the last thing you remember?”
Lilith thought about last night, the normal topics, the details of the previous war,
Lilith gasped, her hand covering her mouth, the ranting about normalcy, the piano, the survival, the confessions she made about him.
“I walked there by myself” Lilith said, not able to admit the truth
“Hmm” Mor's voice came “And said something about finishing what almost happened” She paused “What almost happened, Lilyyy?”
Lilith remembered the day he left for Winter Court, the closeness between them. She could still feel his breath
“Look at you” Cassian huffed, “Someone has a little crush” He smirked. Little crush was an understatement.
Lilith cleared her throat “I’ll finish this in my room” Her voice was less stable than usual
She shut the door with laughter still reaching; Lilith couldn’t help but smile. Might be, just might be, they knowing wasn’t a big deal.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
After making sure Cassian and Mor don’t say a word to anyone, especially not Feyre, they agreed, but Lilith highly doubted that. They all winnowed to the Town House. It was almost time for the others to go when Mor grabbed Lilith and took to her bedroom
Lilith raised a brow “What's wrong?”
“I wanted to speak with you, before we leave” Mor said “Last night” Lilith winced, remembering what happened,
“Yesterday” Mor tone was gentle yet serious “That was normal, Lily”
Lilith's lips parted “We don’t know how the next few weeks would go” Mor's eyes showed fear for the first time.
“Llly, you live by now” – “Don’t hold back, if the war comes tomorrow, you live today”
“I don’t know what you mean, Mor” Lie, but she had to try
Mor gave a dry laugh “Seriously?”-“After hearing your confessions?” – “After knowing what you feel for Az?” she paused “Tell him”
Lilith shook her head vigorously “What if he doesn’t-”
“What if he does?” Mor said, she held Lilith's hand, taking a long breath, “I have known Az for many years, Rhys and Cas even longer” – “And trust me when I say, he is different with you” Her eyes were pleading “At least try” Lilith nodded, not knowing what to say
Elain either stayed in her bedroom or wandered out to sit in the garden. Feyre had warned Lilith not to push her, to ask gently. So Lilith did. And she understood, everyone carried trauma differently, and healing never looked the same twice.
They walked into the living room together, Elain silent as ever.
“Would you like some tea?” Lilith asked.
Elain nodded, and Lilith offered her a soft smile. Small steps.
They settled into the armchairs by the fireplace. Lilith felt a strange unease; she was far more comfortable with books and training than with delicate conversations like this. But she would try.
“Nesta…” Elain’s voice was barely a whisper. “She was wrong” Elain finally lifted her gaze, looking directly at Lilith for the first time.
Lilith’s eyes widened a fraction, and she nodded.
Time went by in silence. Nuala had given Lilith one of Nesta’s books, knowing her taste, it was the smutty romance kind. Lilith had thanked her and began reading.
The clock chimed, breaking her concentration. Seven o’clock. An hour before dinner, Lilith didn’t know how to get Elain moving more. She had an idea, but—
“I’m going to bake a pie” Lilith announced to no one in particular, remembering the days she and Elain baked together when they were young “Would you like to oversee?” or bake with me left unsaid, Elain shook her head
Lilith didn’t push. She simply walked into the kitchen and whispered something to Nuala and Cerridwen.
A few minutes later, Elain heard a sharp curse. Then Lilith’s dramatic groan: “This is so wrong! Why do I take on tasks I can’t handle?”
Elain rose from her chair and made her way to the kitchen. She paused in the doorway.
Flour dusted the counter like snow. Cracked eggshells and dirty bowls were scattered the counter. Lilith stood in the centre of it all, looking like a guilty child caught red-handed
“Lily” Elain’s voice was barely a whisper. Lilith sheepishly smiled at her “Sorry, Elain, I” She raised her hands sticky with dough
Elain stepped forward without a word. She began cleaning the mess, her movements slow but steady. Lilith watched her sister, a quiet warmth blooming in her chest.
Once the space was clear, Elain moved to the bowl of ruined batter and, with a small breath, began working on it.
Behind her, Lilith flashed a half-smile and a wink at Nuala and Cerridwen, who were doing a very poor job of hiding their amusement.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Azriel entered the House of Wind. Rhysand had already given him an update; he had to go to the Town House, but wanted to change first.
He entered his room, removed all the weapons, his leathers, and landed on the bed with a soft thud. He was exhausted.
He took two deep breaths. He turned to his side and took another breath; his brows furrowed at the smell that reached him. He sat up and grabbed the sheets and smelled it again: fresh rainfall and peaches
“Lily” He said in the empty room, his heart began to pound. She was here, his mate, on his bed,
He sighed, running a hand over his head, not knowing the story behind how this, but he knew she wasn’t hurt; Rhysand had confirmed that
In a quiet voice, he said, “House” – “Please do not change these sheets” a smile tugging on his lips
The house responded with a note appearing on his bed,
“Go for it, she is smitten” - C
What happened here? Azriel thought to himself, as he grinned, looking at the note his brother left.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
She was setting the table. Elain had made the pie. Lilith wasn’t sure if it would have worked, but it did, and she was thankful to Mother for this improvement
There was a brush on her mental shields “How are things?” Feyre's voice echoed in the mind
Lilith smiled, “Why don’t you see instead re-re?” Lilith showed her only the parts she wanted to,
“Sh- She baked?” Feyre's voice was trembling “She baked” This time it was more confident and happy “How?”
“I have my ways” Lilith hummed
“Lily”
“Okay, okay, I pretended not to know how to make it, and she helped” Lilith answered truthfully
“You have to tell me everything”
Before Lilith could reply, “I need to go now” and that was that
They were having dinner as a woosh sound came. Lilith’s eyes sparked as she saw Azriel walking inside, already feeling the cool tendrils along her legs.
“Hello” Elain was the one to speak first
“Hello” Azriel replied
Lilith arched a brow, glancing between the two of them, but Azriel’s gaze was locked on her. And for a heartbeat, everything else faded.
He slid into the chair beside her “Hi”
“Hi” Lilith’s voice came out far breathier than she intended. With him sitting this close, her pulse kicked hard against her ribs.
“Sorry for the delay” Azriel said
“It is alright” Elain whispered with a soft smile,
A strange feeling twisted in Lilith’s chest; one she refused to name. The rest of dinner passed in near silence.
“You should try the pie” Lilith said “Elain made it”
Azriel's face was completely neutral “I will”
Not long after, Elain rose from the table. “I’m going to my room”
“Do you want me to come?” Lilith offered immediately
Elain shook her head gently “No, it’s alright”
And she slipped away, leaving Lilith and Azriel alone in the quiet.
Lilith and Azriel sat together in the living room, the quiet settling around them like a soft blanket.
“How was your mission?” Lilith asked
“Good” Azriel replied, “Updated Rhys on the way”
Azriel tilted his head, studying her “How did you get Elain to bake?”
Lilith leaned a little closer, a teasing glint in her eyes “You’re the Spymaster. Figure it out”
Those hazel-green eyes sparkled, he moved closer, “Are you changeling me?” Lilith only shrugged as she straightened
“We will be back tomorrow” Rhysand’s voice echoed in their minds “Take care” Lilith frowned; she wanted to see Feyre.
But before she could reply, she noticed Azriel’s hand: knuckles white, jaw tight. His silence told her Rhys was still speaking to him privately.
Without thinking, Lilith took his hand and intertwined with hers, remembering Mor’s words, Whatever tomorrow happens, I’ll live now
Azriel’s gaze slid to her, softening “What did he say?” Lilith asked
“Nothing much” – “Updates” Lie Rhysand had shown, what happened, how Lilith ended up in his bed.
“Lily” The way he said her name, her heart did a flip-flop.
Her thumb brushed over the back of his hand. She knew there were no ‘updates’. Likely, Cassian had blabbed. But after today, after seeing Elain take a step forward, Lilith didn’t care.
“Do they hurt?” Her voice was almost a whisper
“Sometimes” – “Not physically, but when the memory comes back, the itching and burning sensation returns” Lilith nodded
“It-It was stepbrothers” Azriel confessed, “They thought mixing oil and fire with Illyrian healing would be a good experiment” Lilith held his grip tighter
“Do they still live?” She questioned
“No” He paused “I killed them”
“Good” There was no hesitation in her voice “Because I might have, if they did”
Something inside him cracked open at that—something old, painful, and long sealed away. And it made the next words easier
“My father” he rasped “He locked me up in a cell, until I was eleven” – “I was only allowed out when my Mother came to visit”
His shadows stirred around him, as if remembering “That’s when they came to me” – “My shadows, I mean”
“Is your-”
“Dead” Azriel said flatly, and with zero remorse
“And your mother?” Lilith asked gently
“Safe” A small smile touched his lips. “She would love you”
A couple of heartbeats passed in quiet before Azriel leaned in, shadows curling low around him.
“I have a confession” He mumbled
Lilith's heart pounded so fast, she was scared he might be after to hear it “What is it?”
“I saw you” She furrowed her brows
Azriel ran a hand through his hair “In your house. Back in the human lands” – “I saw you play”
He hesitated, choosing his words carefully “Feyre was worried” – “Told us to keep an eye” Lilith arched an eyebrow
Azriel chuckled softly, “But to noticed me” - “You suddenly stopped playing” he paused “You even looked back as you were leaving”
He paused, his eyes turning like molten honey “I knew you didn’t see me, my shadows hid me completely, but still…”
Lilith tilted her head. She remembered that day; the strange prickle along her spine, the sense of being watched. She had stopped mid-note.
Azriel leaned forward, gently tugging the strand of hair behind her ear “Will you play for me?” The husky tone of this spread fire in her veins
Lilith's cheeks flushed as she nodded once. Yes. She would, for him.
A bright smile broke across her face as she rose and tugged him up with her “Come”
Azriel followed two steps behind, letting her lead. He didn’t let go of her hand. The contact was comforting and terrifying in all the best ways. She brought him to the back of the house, to the old study where the piano waited in the far corner.
Azriel's brows lifted. He rarely came to his side of the house “You played here before” It was a statement more than a question
Lilith nodded. The flush on her cheeks faded, replaced by something steadier. A quiet resolve. She wanted to share this with him. She didn’t want to hide anymore.
She sat at the bench and patted the seat beside her.
Azriel slid in next to her, a small grin on his face as his shadows spread outward, forming a soft barrier around the room “The sound is only for us tonight” he murmured
Lilith glanced at him, and he held her gaze “It’s already late, and” He began
She let out a soft chuckle, “You don’t have to explain yourself, every time Az” she shook her head, turning back to the piano as her hands found the keys
Lilith took a moment to think, to decide what story her hands would tell. Then she began.
The melody started soft and mournful at first, shaped by memories of lonely days and quiet ache. But gradually it shifted into something fuller, imperfect but warm, like the newfound life she had here.
Azriel’s shadows, usually still and alert, began to sway around them, moved by the music.
Lilith thought of all the moments she’d shared with him, only him. The stolen quiet, the rare times they were alone. A whisper, for she truly felt how she was drawn to him. This foreign, startling need to be close. She didn’t understand how someone could love so deeply, so fiercely; every thought changed the melody she played.
Azriel felt everything: her sadness, her loneliness, the fierce determination, her doubt and curiously. And threaded through all of them emotions, her love for him, raw and fragile and real. He closed his eyes; he didn’t resist the urge to send his own emotions down the bond, to make her feel the depth of what she stirred in him.
Lilith continued playing.
Then it came in waves, a sense of longing, the need. She didn’t stop, though; she knew these were his emotions. And that time, she recognised, she was sure of it.
When she finished, she didn’t end with a final note. She left the melody incomplete, a pause instead of a stop, like the story still being written, shaped by the past and also the anticipation of the future.
Lilith exhaled unevenly and looked at Azriel; his eyes were still closed. Good. That made this a little easier
“My feelings” She began quietly “My feelings for you are…different” A weight lifted from her chest “I’m drawn to you” She remembered the light she’d seen while playing, the warmth that spread through her.
“I think I know why” She whispered, shaking her head. She wouldn’t stop now, couldn’t “But it’s always been like that” She said in a barely audible whisper “Since I first saw you”
She didn’t say ‘I love you’ .She didn’t know what that love was supposed to feel like. But this feeling, whatever it is, it is real.
Azriel opened his silver-lined eyes, and her breath caught. He said nothing as he leaned in, brushing his lips over hers—a ghost of a kiss.
Lilith went still, eyes wide and searching. The unspoken plea in them pushed him forward.
Their mouths met again, slow and deliberate. There was no urgency, only a deep, unhurried pull toward each other. Lilith’s warm hands settled against his chest while his slid to the small of her back.
He rose, gathering her with him, and lifted her easily onto the piano.
Her gaze locked with his as he leaned in once more. The kiss that followed was different—deeper, charged, hungry. Her fingers threaded into his hair as if she’d done it a thousand times. She matched each of his movements with her own, meeting him with growing intensity.
When his hand slipped to the nape of her neck, drawing her closer, deepening the kiss, a soft moan escaped from her.
They parted, panting for air, Azriel cupped her face, his eyes pleading “Please” He whispered, voice rough “Please, tell me” He swallowed hard “Tell me you feel it” His voice cracked on the last word, his gaze locked on hers, raw and desperate.
Lilith knew exactly what he meant. But she couldn’t feel it, sense it, yes. Her voice was a whisper, “I – I see it” She closed her eyes, trying to reach the golden light, but there was an invisible wall. Tears fell before she could stop them “I can’t reach it” She choked out. She couldn’t say what it meant, not when she couldn’t grasp it
Azriel’s heart clenched, not because of what she said, but because she was crying
He wiped her tears grently “It’s alright. Please don’t cry”
Lilith shook her head, “I’m a broken mess Az” she confessed to herself and him
Azriel laced his fingers with hers “Don’t two broken things make a whole?” His forehead met hers.
They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each other’s arms, wrapped in a silence full of everything they couldn’t yet say, but felt. Far away, the clock chimed. The sound broke the spell, reminding them how late it was.
“We should rest” Lilith whispered “It’s late. And you were already tired from the mission”
Azriel’s eyes softened “Alright,” he murmured “As you wish” He took her hand, firm, steady, and led them away.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
“Tell me how you want it, angel” Azriel asked in a low husky, dominating voice, the sound vibrating through her core as he caged her body with his own
“Gentle,” He eased into her, filling her, inch by inch. A soft moan escaped her lips
“Hard” Azriel's grip tightened on her hips, slamming forward with brutal force. She felt him everywhere as her moans got louder
“Or” He trailed off, a predatory grin curling his lips as he pinned her wrists above her head. His free hand dug into her thigh, tugging it higher “Feral”
“Azriel!” She cried out, teetering on the edge “I’m-”
Lilith jolted awake with a strangled gasp, heat ripping through her. She felt too tight, too hot.
Lilith shoved the bedspread off her trembling legs, desperate for the cold air against her overheated skin. It did little. Images from the dream flashing behind her eyes, his eyes, his mouth, the way he looked at her
She exhaled sharply, trying to steady herself, but the air caught in her throat.
A snarl left through her lips as she glanced at the side table, the book lying there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, toes hitting the cold marble floor.
Lilith pushed to her feet and headed for the bathing chamber. She twisted the tap as cold as it would go and stepped into the freezing water without hesitation.
Lilith walked into the living room, right after dawn. Voices drifted to her, familiar, warm, and despite the restless haze still clinging to her, a smile broke out.
“When did you guys get here?” She asked, pulling Feyre into a hug and then Mor.
“Just about fifteen minutes ago,” Cassian replied.
Her gaze slid past Cassian before she could stop it. Azriel stood in the corner, shadows curling lazily around him. The world seemed to vanish. Heart pounding against her ribs as memories of last night surged, his hands, his breath, the way he’d kissed her. And then that dream, vivid and consuming; Heat shot up her neck.
Someone cleared their throat. Lilith blinked hard, cheeks flushing as the room snapped back into reality.
“Did you get it?” She asked, a bit too quickly. Rhysand nodded
“We have things to discuss” He began “We need to-”
“It can wait” Mor cut in. “Amren isn’t here yet.” She hooked her arm through Lilith’s. “Come on.”
Azriel shifted immediately, taking a step forward as his shadows slid toward Lilith, twining around her legs, brushing her arms. Mor shot him a pointed look, half warning, half amusement.
Lilith bit her lip, torn between glancing at Azriel again and pretending she wasn’t desperately aware of him. She nodded instead.
“I’m stealing you” She declared, grabbing Feyre’s hand, shooting a daggered glare at Rhysand for good measure.
Somewhere between her late-night reading and the way best friends always managed to share too much, Lilith had made a decision, Feyre would know. But only on her terms.
They stepped into Mor’s room. Lilith turned to the shadows “Not this time” she murmured. “Go to him” They hesitated, then obeyed
The door closed with a soft thus “Before anything” Lilith said, looking at Feyre “You are not the High Lady, or Rhys’s mate.” She lifted a finger “Or an overprotective sister”
Feyre arched a brow, amused
“In this conversation, you’re my sister who used to be my best friend. The one I told everything to. Remember?”
Feyre’s smile softened. She nodded. “If that’s the case…” She glanced at Mor, then back at Lilith. “I already know. What happened. And the real reason we stayed in Hewn City.”
Mor’s jaw dropped. “He told you?”
Feyre smirked. “I have my ways” A mischievous glint lit her eyes.
“Wait” Lilith said, frowning “You guys stayed behind in Hewn so Az and I could-”
“Yes” they both said in unison, and without shame. Lilith groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead, shaking it slightly.
“Tell. Us. EVERYTHING” Mor demanded
Lilith bit her lip, heat creeping up her throat again as they all settled in. And then, slowly, hesitantly, she began.
Azriel sank into his usual armchair. He never initiated small talk, not with his brothers, unless there was a necessary reason. This wasn’t one of those moments.
“I wonder what happened” Cassian mused, smirking as he sprawled across the sofa “That Lil just stole Mor and Feyre like that”
Azriel didn’t give anything away; his face might have, as Cassian barked out a laugh
“Look at him, Rhysie” – “His ears are going red”
Azriel flicked him a warning glance, but the High Lord wasn’t paying attention to Cassian’s teasing. Rhysand’s face had gone thoughtful, calculating
“It hasn’t snapped for her yet” he said quietly, not a question, but an observation.
Azriel’s jaw tensed “No”
He hesitated, fingers flexing once against the armrest. “She said she can sense it. But something’s blocking it” He exhaled, frustrated, wings rustling “I don’t know what that means” Cassian’s smirk faded a little at the rawness in Azriel’s voice.
“But honestly” He continued, voice low “I’m relieved it hasn’t snapped yet” – “ Not with Hybern, and the queens”
The energy in the room shifted instantly, and playfulness dissolved into grim reality. Plans. War. Threats closing in.
Cassian straightened, clearing his throat “We need to visit the camps” A pause “Letters sent?” Both his brothers nodded
Rhysand pushed to his feet “I should call them back. We need to discuss matters that can’t wait” His voice dropped into command “Cass, get Nesta out of her room”
Cassian groaned loudly “Why is that always my job?”
Rhys didn’t glance back “Because you’re the only one she won’t throw a shoe at” Cassian muttered something colourful under his breath as he left
Feyre opened the door “Ah perfect timing, come in” She let Rhysand inside
“Lily he would know the answer” Feyre declared
Lilith studied Rhysand, his stiff posture, the urgency in his violet eyes. He looked like a male trying to be a good mate, a good brother, while desperately hiding the fact that he had absolutely no idea what Feyre was referring to.
“Later” – “Let's go” Lilith declared. Rhysand’s shoulders loosened as he looked at Lilith with sad yet thankful eyes
Nesta walked in the middle of the conversation, and nobody had stopped discussing what they were. What Elain had told her when she went to check up with her this morning, how her youngest sister got her doing something, Nesta didn’t know. But now it felt like she owed something to Lilith
“I’m coming” Her voice was steel “To the mountains and the meeting” She looked at Lilith and then at Amren, who gave aproving nod
“Just tell me when” Nesta looked directly at Rhysand
“You’ll be notified as soon as the time is set” Rhysand said, with his High Lord voice
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
As they stepped into the House of Wind, Lilith spun on her heel and punched Cassian square in the stomach. He doubled over with a rough grunt.
“I know you’re the one who blabbed” Lilith said, casually blowing on her knuckles. Mor burst into laughter
Azriel’s lips curved upward at the edges, subtle, but there. Lilith still hadn’t met his eyes since the meeting. And now he was curious.
Cassian's face was still modelled in pain “Okay, okay” He raised his hands up in defeat “I deserved that”
His gaze flicked between Lilith and Azriel, noting the distance between them, the way Lilith kept her eyes anywhere but on the shadowsinger. Cassian draped an arm over her shoulder.
Azriel let out a low, barely audible growl, and Cassian answered with a smirk “Why don’t we train a bit?” – “You have not sparred with me yet” he paused “Have you, Lily?” He stated, looking directly at Azriel.
Azriel’s jaw clenched so hard he wondered how his teeth didn’t break.
Lilith’s brows furrowed “No” – “But alright” she shrugged her shoulders,
Before she could take a step, Azriel grabbed Cassian and headed out to the training field
Lilith blinked “What just happened?”
Mor laughed, “It’s just the whole primal-protection of a mate” Lilith snapped her head towards Mor
“So it’s actually true then?” Lilith said in a whisper, “I never said the word out load” Lilith shook her head
Mor waved a hand “This is nothing, wait until it snaps for you” She grinned “It’s going to get much, much worse”
She leaned back against the wall “So, how was your experience with ‘normal’?”
Lilith opened her mouth, only a shy away, as a traitorous smile broke on her face.
“Ooooh, look at you” Mor crowed “Lilith Archeron, who barely spoke when she came here and never smiled, now turning red as a tomato” Lilith elbowed her
“We should train as well” Lilith said “I need to practice my archery”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith was getting ready for bed, brushing her hair, when she heard a knock.
She opened the door, and froze.
“Hi" Azriel stood on the other side. Shirtless. Illyrian tattoos on full display. She tried not to stare. Tried, and failed.
A smirk tugged at his mouth.
Lilith straightened, desperately trying to compose herself. “Hi” She opened the door wider, unsure why he had come. “May I come in?” She nodded.
Azriel’s eyes dipped to the nightgown she wore, soft, pale, far too revealing under the light. He bit his lower lip. Lilith suddenly felt too hot, and looked anywhere but at him.
Azriel loved that she was like this with him, unguarded, flustered, real; he cleared his throat. “I thought we could talk”
Lilith’s heart sank a little, but she understood. She had questions of her own.
They stepped onto the balcony “Before anything” Azriel began, taking a breath as he stared at the sky, “I wanted to tell you” – “My feelings aren’t because of the bond” Lilith’s breath hitched. “Even when you were human” He shook his head “I wanted to stay by your side” His gaze finally met hers.
Lilith closed her eyes for a moment. If he could bare himself like this, so could she “It’s the same with me” She whispered “The time you first saw me on the tree” – “I couldn’t get you out of my mind” She hesitated before adding “Your eyes kept popping up” She swallowed “And then the voice. It was you, wasn’t it?”
Azriel nodded “It was me” he said, voice rough.
“Come back. Come back to me. I’ll wait,” Lilith whispered, repeating the words.
Azriel stiffened, the memory hitting him hard. The air between them thickened, charged, wanting
Lilith cleared her throat “You sure did a number on Cass” She said, remembering how Azriel had pummelled him.
Azriel chuckled “He had it coming”
He stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him “But I don’t want to talk about Cass right now” His voice dropped to a low whisper as his drooped to the sides, cocooning them
Lilith’s heart pounded. Heat curled through her body at the memory of her dream. She hesitated, then lifted a hand to his wing—pausing when she remembered his reaction last time.
Azriel dipped his head in a small nod, a permission; Lilith touched the inner membrane of his left wing
Azriel’s eyes rolled back as a shudder ran through him
“What does it feel like?” She asked gently
Azriel lowered his mouth to her ear and let out a breath “Like that”
A rush of goosebumps spread over her skin “Az” she breathed
He kissed her then slowly, gently, deeply; he wanted to feel every second of it. The feeling of her warmth, his breath mingling with hers. Each small movement drew them closer, and the rest of the world vanished.
He removed the glamour from his scent as they parted. Completely bare, only for her
Lilith’s mind turned into a puddle as the scent reached her. She twisted in his embrace, pressing herself into him. She kissed him then
The moment their lips collided again, it wasn’t careful anymore—it was raw, urgent, hungry. Azriel bit her lower lip, and she moaned as he slid his tongue against hers. A sharp wave of desire hit her when she felt his hardness pressed to her stomach.
His lips trailed down her jaw, to her neck. He sucked gently where her neck met her shoulder. Marking. Claiming. A low, satisfied growl rumbled through him as he pulled back to admire the marks blooming there.
“Az” He answered in a vibrating hum, marvelling at his work
“I didn’t come here expecting anything” He mumbled “I just needed you to know the truth. All of it”
Lilith’s hand slowly slid up his back, fingers brushing the base of his wing. Azriel shuddered, actually shuddered—and his grip tightened on her hip, as if he fought the urge to pull her impossibly closer.
“Will you stay?” She whispered
He let a out a low growl “If I stay” Azriel said hoarsely “I don’t trust myself not to-”
And then—The lights in her room flickered. Then dimmed. Then blushed into the faintest rose-gold glow.
Azriel froze “Did the House just-” Lilith covered her face with a mortified groan
The House made a soft chiming sound. Teasing. Approving.
Azriel shook with silent laughter, forehead falling to her shoulder “It likes you” Lilith muttered.
“It’s going to be unbearable tomorrow” He murmured.
“Only tomorrow?” She shot back, arching a brow
He brushed a thumb along her jaw, gaze softening “Every day”
For a long moment, they simply stood there, holding onto one another while the House hummed in the background. Finally, Azriel exhaled “I should let you sleep” He said, though his fingers traced slow circles over Lilith’s hip, reluctant to leave.
She smiled, heart full and unsteady “Goodnight, Az”
His eyes flicked to her lips, then back to her eyes “Goodnight, Angel”
They walked towards the door, he lingered a heartbeat longer, as he shut the door behind him.
Lilith leaned against the doorway, breathless. Sleep would not come easily tonight. Not after him.
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪
Note: Sorry it took me so long, I hope yyou guys enjoyed this. I loved writing the house teasing Az and Lily, and the part where she gets drunk.
And i know the dream is a lil steamy, as a smut lover, i wanted to add more towards the end. But it just felt wrong.
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
💔🇵🇸 My Daughter Was Born Under Bombs — I'm Just Trying to Keep Her Alive
My name is Abdulmajid.
I got married one month before the war. Those were beautiful days — full of hope, love, and simple dreams. I dreamed of a small home, a quiet family, and a baby girl I could hold without fear.
But the war came… Suddenly. Brutally.
My mother was killed. My brother was killed. Children in my family were taken by the bombs. My home was destroyed. And my work stopped completely.
Then… in the middle of this nightmare, my baby girl was born. A tiny soul, innocent, unaware of the war. She cries from hunger, from cold, from the sounds of bombs shaking what’s left of our walls.
Today, I’m a father with almost nothing… Fighting every day to find flour, milk, or even a small meal to feed my child.
Prices are sky-high — a single 25kg bag of flour can cost $800. There is no work. No income. No safety. No stability.
I write this from under siege, hoping my heart will reach yours.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Even $1 can make a difference. It can feed a child, buy milk, or bring a moment of peace. Be the heart that reaches Gaza. Be the hand that saves.
📌 Please share this post. Let our voices be heard — not buried under rubble.
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #537 )✅️
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 5
Warning: Few spoilers to ACOWAR
Authors' Note: Hi guys, the 5th part is finally here. Gosh, I think I changed the ending to this like six times. And tbh I'm not sure about this as well. It's going to be confusing if you haven't read ACOWAR.
I hope you all enjoy. Comments are open.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Lilith’s mind was in a complete MESS. After the stunt Amren had pulled out, after everything, her mind didn’t process.
Lilith sat in an office at the House of Wind, although everyone wanted to discuss it in the living room, Lilith was not having it; she had basically kicked everyone out and even asked the shadows to leave. Rhysand told Feyre had to remain, if not as Lilith’s sister then as the High Lady. Feyre had given her mate and Amren an earful about the stunt they pulled.
“I was thinking about the time you came to my apartment” Lilith's mind went to that one time she practised with Amren “I came to Rhysand when” She paused, thinking of words “When I had a doubt”
“The way to confirm was if the Book of Breathings called to you,” Amren said as Lilith stiffened
Feyre spoke up, “That cursed book spoke to me as well” - “And to Rhys” - “And anyone, really” Her fury was noticeable in her tone.
Amren gave a knowing look. “Exactly, My Lady”, she said, “But the book called to her.” Amren looked towards Lilith, and Lilith looked right back.
There was a silence in the room. Lilith’s mind went to a thousand places, but landed on the first time in the cauldron, the female voice she heard.
“Not all face death smiling” “Let me grant you this, because it’s not your time”
Rhysand cleared his throat “The time you were in the cauldron”, he paused, hesitating “Can you tell anything about it?” he asked, not demanded.
Maybe it was the way the High Lord asked, Lilith knew Rhysand could simply look in her mind without her knowing, but he had asked. Lilith looked at Feyre, her mother’s eyes meeting her’s, she took in a deep breath. “Amren might be right” Lilith’s voice was more stable than she thought “I did hear a female’s voice”
Rhysand cleared his throat, “There are legends, not written but whispered” - “Thousands of years ago” - “There were warriors, rumoured to be a direct distant of Gods” Lilith’s brows furrowed, she read that the Gods left this place, travelled to different realms, but “Some lingered for a while, until there was only one” Rhysand said
Amren cleared her throat “They were powerful” - “Too powerful” Feyre shifted “Legends say their powers were anything they wished for” Lilith's eyes went wide.
Amren shook her head “The oldest fae know how to distinguish in powers” - “You” she paused, looking at Lilith “Are blessed, yes, but what the caldron transformed it into” - “Well, that’s yet to be known” Feyre let out a long sigh.
There was a pause; Lilith’s mind raced through different possibilities. Amren had told her before that she needed a proper setup; resolve settled upon her. Lilith narrowed her eyes at Amren, knowing the point she was trying to make.
She looked at Rhysand and back to Amren, “Are there any wards of protection against magic from within?” Lilith knew about the wards that the houses were warded with protection, but that was if intruders attacked from outside.
Feyre held Lilith's hand “You don’t have to” Lilith shook her head “Did you run away? When you knew you could help re-re?” Lilith asked calmly, looking at her sister, “Did you not practice your powers?” Feyre was at a loss for words
“Are you sure you want to practice? You can continue your research first,” Rhysand spoke up.
Amren tised “She needs practice, boy” She bore her eyes to the High Lord “Just like you did” Rhysand stiffened in his seat.
Lilith got up, “Tell me when and where” - “I’ll be ready” And then took her leave.
Lilith entered her room and was barely able to close the door as her legs gave out. She sat on the floor. It was too much; tears began flowing. One day, she wanted a day to process everything that had happened before, but now that seemed impossible; her breathing became short and rapid. Her mind was repeating everything, every nightmare, flashes of every negative thing. And by the Gods, were there many things.
Her promise to her mother. Her family’s poverty. Her mother’s treatment towards her. Her sisters. Feyre is being taken away. The pain from the treatments. Knowing she would die. The cauldron. Her nightmares about the cauldron.
The survival mode she lived in as a human. And somehow, realising that even now she was surviving, at least to some level. She silently cried through everything, every time she pretended to be calm and strong, because that’s what people expected from Lilith.
As if the house knew, the doors to her balcony opened, and Lilith gathered herself, walking towards the balcony, cool wind hitting her face. She stood near the railing, taking in the view of the starry sky and the crescent moon.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
He didn’t know if she wanted company, but she hadn’t eaten anything. He knocked on the door, and he heard a distant sound come in.
Cassian opened the door to see Lilith standing on the balcony. He placed the food on the table “Thought you would like someone to be here” - “I know you would rather prefer Mor or Feyre”
Lilith huffed and shook her head, “No, Cass, it’s nothing like that” She finally faced the general “Thank you” She said with a small smile.
Cassian looked at her puffy face and swollen eyes and knew she had been crying “Do you want to talk about it?” He sat on the chair
Lilith sat beside him, grabbing the plate “The situation is similar to what you told me at breakfast that day” Lilith played with the potatoes.
Cassian looked at her “Lil, you know anybody here will be ready to hear you out” Lilith thought about the shadowsinger, his offer that night, as she nodded. They sat there is silence for a while, Lilith eating slowly.
Cassian let out a sigh, “I can’t be in that much silence” - “That’s more for Azriel” he swore. He saw Lilith’s cheeks flushed even at the mention of his name.
Cassian noticed a shadow that circled Lilith’s wrist, and smirked, “You know,” he drawled “The shadows had never disobeyed him” he said teasingly.
Lilith looked at him “Well, they do now” Lilith said, brows furrowing. She added, “Why do you think it’s like that?” Cassian didn’t expect that question
“Umm, well, I’m not sure either” He stumbled on his words. Lilith narrowed her eyes “Liar” she declared dryly.
Cassian dramatically placed a hand on his chest, “Ow” - “Lil, that hurt” Lily chuckled, Cassian looked a her in surprise. This was the first time she had laughed, well, at least in front of him.
He patted himself on the back, “Well, well, I’m proud of myself” - “You laughed” Lilith smiled at him, shaking her head. Maybe Lilith needed this distraction “You are a great brother” Lilith said without thinking, her eyes went wide as she snapped her head down.
Cassian's eyes softened as he smiled at Lilith, “Always Lil”, he stood up, ruffled her hair “And that’s what brothers do” he said while walking towards the door “Finish your plate, and then sleep” and then added, “Goodnight Lil”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Standing in the training ground, half of it bordered with ruins to protect from any mishap, Lilith glared at Amren. There was a shift, a tilt within her, when Amren said the power was wasted on Lilith; glowing light formed in her peripherals, and Lilith felt a tingling sensation in her hands. She wasn’t blinded with rage or overwhelmed by emotions; no, Lilith just was. She looked at her hands, silver strings, lined with blue. Lilith’s instincts took over as she raised her hands, the currents dancing along her fingers, and then aimed for Amren.
They were panting; the magic had lessened, she could feel it “What happened?” Lilith asked, after that first aim, Amren had gone down, as if the ground underneath pulled her. She had gotten up and attacked, but Lilith had either dodged her moves or something pulled away at Amren’s aim. Amren walked over to Lilith, removing her jacket and the dagger and placing them on the ground.
Lilith's eyes widen, looking at the female, grinning. Amren shook her head “Don’t be surprised, you did well” Her eyes went down and back to Lilith as she gave a knowing look. Lilith's gaze finally went down. A gasp came out of her as her hands flew to her mouth. There, lying on the ground, were two bent daggers, and the jacket that was crafted with silver, at the waist and shoulders, now all bent in the wrong way.
There was a pause, “I-I” Lilith began, not able to digest the situation “Can bend metal?” Lilith couldn’t believe what she was saying or even seeing. Amren chuckled, “No, youngest one” - “You can will it” she said, as she gave a sly smile.
“I don’t understand” Lilith said, “If my powers, as per you, is to control metal?” - “How was I able to do what I did when I had the outbursts?” Lilith remembered the soldiers flying away in Hybern, the lights flickering, the objects rattling.
Rhysand looked at Amren. Amren had demanded that he come to the House of Wind; “This power was different” Amren said, “It was more subtle” Lilith raised an eyebrow. “Can you show me?” Rhysand asked. Lilith looked towards the ruins, still protecting everything else. Lilith nodded
Rhysand’s gaze went to the bent sword. After a long pause, “It was different” Rhysand spoke “Your power, what I felt now, was very muted” - “Nothing like before” Lilith’s head snapped to her Brother-in-law.
He cleared his throat, “When Feyre began practising her magic” - “She was able to concentrate on the little things” - “Making a twig burn, creating small water creatures, that sort of thing” he paused “Deep down, your magic feels comfortable with metals” - “So” he gave a pointed look on the ground.
Lilith took a deep breath, adding this information to the pile of what she had to accept.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
The next couple of days passed in a blur, as Lilith trained with Mor and Amren, testing Lilith’s powers on steel, gold and whatnot, but there was no sign of that power she felt within her. Nevertheless, today, Mor was well in a ‘mood’
Lilith panted for air “What's wrong?” She stumbled for balance on the ground, lowering her dagger. They were training in close combat fighting with weapons.
Mor scowled, “It’s nothing really” Lilith raised a brow; she knew Mor well enough by now and vice versa; the friendship between them grew day by day. Mor was the only one who was able to understand that Lilith was on the edge of shutting down, despite to calm act.
Mor let out a sigh “It’s about this meeting, and” she paused “I was meant to ask you something, a long time ago” Lilith’s brows furrowed in confusion “Rhysand asked me to ask you if you want to get involved in the politics” - “But you already went through so much that” Mor spoke.
“Yes” Lilith’s answer was firm “I appreciate your concern, Mor, I really do” Indeed, Lilith understood why Mor kept it hidden from her.
“I know too much is going on, but I’d like to be involved” Lilith sheathed her dagger, looking towards the sky. They were alone, nobody else to hear, she could tell this “This place feels like home than any other” Lilith said in a whisper.
She looked at Mor studying her. Lilith knew other things were going through her mind. She placed a hand on her shoulder “The other things you can tell me when you're ready” Lilith gave a small smile “But I have to show you something” Mor’s brows furrowed.
Lilith took her dagger and summoned her magic. Her hands glowed as the dagger flew up, and it hit the target board several feet from them, without bending. Lilith grinned at Mor “There is more, but I don’t want to destroy any weapons”
Mor gaped at Lilith, half surprised that she was grinning, half surprised by the pace of her control. Mor held Lilith by the shoulders “You are controlling it” Mor smiled “When, how?”
Lilith bit her tongue “Sometimes at night when I can’t sleep, I come to practice here” When Rhysand tried to explain to Lilith about her magic, she had not gone to her sister, but instead came to Mor. She told her what it could mean, how, in the beginning, magic guides the user. Lilith had shown her by bending a shovel in the garden. Mor, it seemed, wasn’t impressed; she had given Lilith a lecture on aim and control.
“Your power can be used in the war” Mor said. Lilith's smile faded. She had thought about it, but how would she distinguish between the enemy and friend? And right now, she was able to control it in small spaces, but on a battlefield, she was not sure. Lilith still nodded, unsure of what was to come.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith entered the apartment with Cassian to see the Mor and Azriel already present. She gave a wave to Mor and Amren. Cassian had come for her in the morning, and he had updated Lilith on the situation of Lucien and Elain. Lilith had given him a vacant look. It’s not that she didn’t care about her sisters; she did, but she was tired of being the one always making the first move with Nesta and Elain. Lilith made up her mind, their apology first, then everything else.
She sat next to Mor, trying to avoid the gaze of a particular male sitting beside her on the opposite side. Mor got up “Where do you keep your fancy wine, Amren?” She walked away, Lilith bore eyes in Mor’s back. She turned her head and smirked.
Lilith stared at her hands. The shadows were already dancing around her. It had been a while since she had met the shadowsinger; he hadn’t been around lately.
There was a shift “Hey” Azriel's voice came. Lilith looked up to see him beside her. Something was different; there was a flowery smell mixed with his, which Lilith was oddly familiar with. Lilith took a deep breath; it smelled like sweet jasmine. Smelled like Elain. Lilith’s heart sank.
She forced a smile “Hi” She replied, her eyes losing the excitement every time she saw, heck, even heard his name.
She remembered how he was sitting next to her sister at dinner, the one time she attended. Lilith’s mind raced. Maybe they were together, maybe she had read things wrong, maybe- “Here you go”, came Mor’s voice as she handed out a glass to Lilith, she took it.
Cassian raised his brows, “Day drinking now, are we?” before Mor could say anything “It’s 5 pm somewhere”, Lilith said dryly, needing this.
The door opened as Rhysand and Feyre walked in.
Lilith didn’t say much as the group were discussing things, Mor telling Rhysand to kill the Autumn Court’s High Lord, Beron and the whole family, allowing Lucien to take the throne. Indeed, Lilith was aware of what happened to Mor, how Eris didn’t show any mercy. And what her own father did. Lilith’s blood boiled just thinking about it.
“I’m going to peel the King’s skin from his body the next time I see him” Cassian said with determination. “Not if I beat you to it” Lilith said, from beside Cassian. Her power hummed thinking of that rotten male. Everyone had told bits and pieces to her about Hybern’s ‘agenda’, how they are, what they are like. Lilith took a sip of wine.
Rhysand smirked, “I do believe you two” - “Truly” Lilith narrowed her eyes “But we have a war to plan first” - “Revenge, unfortunately, has to be secondary”
Rhysand looked at Amren, “Anything from the book?” as if it knew, “Hello, princesses, the two-faced liar, the one to yield” “Oh, be quite” – “Shut the fuck up” Amren and Lilith said in unison. Lilith and Amren looked at each other. Amren smirked at Lilith. Lilith blamed the wine that loosened her tongue
Mor laughed, “I think this is the first time I heard her curse besides training” Lilith looked at Feyre, who gaped at her. Lilith smiled at her and shook her head.
“I can do that” Lilith said when the topic of mending the wall came up. She knew Nesta and Elain wouldn’t help “No” Came Azriel’s voice from behind her.
Lilith turned her head to the male “I wasn’t asking,” She said in a deathly calm voice. Lilith was angry with Aziel; he was the first to say no to anything she wanted to help with.
Rhysand cleared his throat, “Lilith, your powers are needed else where” - “And besides, the invitation to the High Lords will be out by tomorrow, you’ll be much needed there” Lilith broke the contact from the spymaster and looked at Rhysand, the disappointment clear on her face, but she nodded anyway.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Rhysand flew Lilith to the House of Wind. He was still feeling off about what happened at Amren’s apartment with him and Feyre; he was hurt by it, yes, he glanced at Lilith, who had a similar expression, thanks to Azriel. They landed on the balcony, and Lilith took off immediately, saying a small thank you. He wanted to ask Lilith to join them for dinner, but Lilith was clear about her boundary when it came to Nesta and Elain.
“Lily”, Rhysand called out, conjuring a box from thin air “Here” Lilith’s brows furrowed “It’s not from me” It was given to him when Lilith asked Rhysand to fly her to the house. “I should get going” With that, he took off.
A few shadows had followed her home like usual. She felt oddly comforted that at least they were here to give her company. Yes, Rhysand and Feyre were living in the Town House, but Lilith thought, shaking her head, she cleared her thoughts and headed to her room.
She had bathed, changed, and just wanted to sleep. When her room door opened, she went and closed it. Lying down on the bed, the house opened the door again, and she got up, stepping outside her door. A shadow pulled her to the dining table, where a plate of food sat. Lilith looked at the empty room, empty house really “I don’t feel like eating” She said to the shadows and the House.
She looked at the box Rhysand had given her. Lilith opened the box to find tea in it and a note: “When sleep doesn’t come easily, this tea will help” - “Yours, Azriel” Lilith’s heart skipped a beat at the way he signed the card. She didn’t know why, but tears began rolling down her face, “Your master is a dumb Illyrian” she said to the shadow near her wrist. Lilith sat at the table, looking at the gift.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Azriel didn’t feel like eating; his mind was divided between how to prepare for this war and how Lilith currently is. He thought Mor would have at least stayed with her; conversations were following around him.
“Hey, don’t blend into the shadows” He heard Cassian. Azriel couldn’t care less.
A knock came through his shields “Yes, Rhys?”
“I know you would rather be at the House of Wind” Rhysand said “Everybody came here - “She is in that house alone” Aziel replied
A pause, Azriel knew with the widening of Feyre’s eyes, that his brother had told her the information, and Azriel cursed under his breath.
“Just, please stay here until this is over, ” Rhysand said. Azriel growled mentally.
The discussion continued about visiting the Hewn City, Nesta, to Azriel’s surprise, agreed to come to Hewn City and to train with Amren.
Azriel cleared his throat, “I can teach you to fly” - “It’s not going to be easy” he looked outside the balcony door “It’s better to train in the House of Wind grounds, it’s much bigger” Feyre nodded. Azriel looked at Cassian and swore he heard him say “Sly bastard” under his breath.
Azriel put Lilith into her bed. He gently tugged the strands of hair back, “I’m so sorry, angel,” he whispered. He had flown as fast as possible. He had found her sitting at the dining table, asleep, the plate of food untouched. Azriel’s heart ached seeing Lilith like that. With a final look at his mate, he silently left the room.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Nesta stood in the doorway, thinking about Amren's words. She had agreed to train, but only with her powers; she made it very clear to Cassian that she wouldn’t be training with him. She saw that her sisters’ training. Feyre was always the wild one. But seeing Lilith, the sister who was the other side of the same coin as her.
Nesta knew she had crossed a line that day, and what followed it terrified her, not Lilith’s power but the anger within her—the anger she had caused.
“Look who is here” - “Care to join?” Cassian said smugly, and Nesta ignored him, walking towards where Lilith and Mor were sparring. They didn’t stop as she came; Lilith continued with her moves. Mor might have taken pity on Nesta, as she ended the training in the next two moves.
“I wish to speak with you,” Nesta directed the question to Lilith. Her sister glared at her as she walked back into the house.
Lilith didn’t say anything, and Nesta also didn’t; they just looked at each other for a while. Nesta took a deep breath, “I know I was out of line that night”, - “I shouldn’t have said what I did”
For that day, not for the treatment she went through from Nesta in the past. Lilith knew the words ‘sorry’ or ‘I was wrong’ didn’t belong in Nesta’s dictionary, but for her, this was a close enough step.
Lilith's gaze softened just a bit “I heard you're practising your magic” Nesta gave a cret nod “I told Rhys that Amren would be perfect for you”
“Doesn’t she train you as well?” Nesta questioned, Lilith shook her head, “In the beginning, yes” - “But Mor took over now” There was silence again. Lilith wanted to ask about Elain, but thought better, “I should get going” With that, Lilith went back to the training field.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith was sitting in Mor’s bedroom at House of Wind. She had updated them for the trip to Hewn City. Feyre had given Lilith the option to join or not; she had said yes. To Lilith’s surprise, Nesta had agreed to come.
Mor was taking out dress after dress, “Isn’t there something else?” Lilith asked Mor, holding a dress that barely covered anything. “There are roles everyone needs to play” Mor said with a shrug. Feyre had explained how the act would be. It was simple, really, to just toy with the people, assure dominance, and to show the dangerous side.
“And what makes mee?” Lilith drawled, picking at a dress that just covered the private areas, lifting her brows. Mor half-chuckled, half snorted, “That’s pretty. Want to try it?” Mor teased, and Lilith slapped her arm.
“You can raid my closet for anything” - “I just liked these” Lilith raised a brow; she knew Mor’s dressing style. There will be a time, Lilith knew, in a far, far future when Lilith would try them, but not now.
Lilith walked towards the dresses lined with endless gowns. “Can’t I just wear my leathers?” - “Gowns are just-”
“Absolutely not!” Mor shouted
To Lilith, dresses were feminine, something she never got used to wearing; tunics and pants were comfortable for hunting, back in the day. She liked wearing the Illyrian leathers. Her thoughts were going on as she went through the dresses; her hand halted on a floor-length dress, a shimmiering blue so deep it was nearly black. The neck was high up, there were slits at the thighs, but enough fabric to cover if she stood. The lace fabric at the waist made the dress just scandalous enough.
“How about this?” Lilith said, taking it out. Mor studied the dress, “A little too conservative for this” Lilith turned the dress to reveal the non-existent back, “Oh, perfect” Mor grinned “Go try it on”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith cornered Lucien as he exited the room. Elain had come out, and Lilith was happy to see her sister. The food she taught Nuala and Cerridwen to prepare was helping a bit. Elain didn’t look too thin. But her eyes, Lilith had never seen such hopelessness in them before
“Lucien, am I correct?” Lilith let him see the power underneath, just like Nesta’s, but completely different
Lucien nodded, “Yes” - “You must be Lily” - “Lilith” she corrected
Lilith glanced at Elain and then back at Lucien “I have something to tell you” - “I don’t know if others have pointed it out” Lucien's eyes widened
“My sister had lost everything, her life, a wedding to a person she loved” - “She was robbed out of her life”
Lucien put his head down “I’m aware of that” - “But she is my ma-”
“The first words, ' Lilith cut him off “The words she heard after getting out of the cauldron - “Were about you claiming her” Lilith felt the power hum within her “Think about that” With that, she felt
Lilith got dressed for the role, but she didn’t know why she was frustrated. Mate. She had read about a mating bond, something that was so powerful, pure and blessed by the Mother. Lilith didn’t know why the words kept repeating Come back to me, I’ll wait. She thought about how familiar Aziel’s voice was, and the image of those hazel-green eyes popped up.
Lilith sighed, looking at the shadows dancing along her body. She stood in front of the mirror. Lilith blinked, not recognising the person in front; she looked beautiful, the dress highlighting every curve. A knock came from the door, as Mor walked in “Look at you” she whistled. Lilith's face went red. Mor chuckled, “Let's get your makeup done”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
She felt a foreign power in her mind. Rhysand had told her this would happen. They were Daematis in the Court of Nightmares. She stood up as she slammed down another shield, trapping the power. Somewhere in the crowd, a man screamed. Lilith looked at Feyre sitting on the thrown, a proud expression on her face. Lilith gave a sly smile.
To say Lilith was in rage to see Eris at the Court of Nightmares was an understatement. She wanted to go with Mor wanted to be part of the conversation. But Rhysand had told her to save the tricks she planned to scare off Keir. And she did, the male was stupid enough to come close when she stood alone. Lilith had just side-smiled, with a hint of teeth, and let her power simmer to the top, an expression she usually saw on Amren. Keir had seen that and practically ran away with tail between his legs.
“You look like you want to kill”, Cassian teased. Lilith shrugged; her eyes kept shifting to the throne room. After Keir’s foolishness, Cassian had come to stand with her.
Lilith calmly said, “Cause I want to” Indeed, this court was filled with two-faced liars. If she concentrated, Lilith was able to hear the whispers of them calling her and Nesta a witch or a monster. “Lil” - “We, I get it, truly,” - “But we need Keir’s forces to fight” Cassian explained “And if that means smiling and accepting his demands, we’ll have to” Lilith waved a hand, dismissing this topic.
Her eyes went to the throne room again. Cassian smiled, “They’ll be back soon” Lilith sighed, “Hope you are right”.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
It was chaos in the Town House. The trick Rhysand pulled was, Lilith didn’t have words. She understood why he did such a thing, but she also understood Mor. The complicated relation she had with Keir and Eris. And to put Velaris, a place that was a sanctuary for Mor, Lilith shook her head. She looked at Mor. This was the second time she saw her cry, the first being when she opened up to Lilith. Lilith clasped Mor’s hand in support of understanding.
Lilith glared at Feyre as she spoke about the mirror, the Ouroboros. Her sister hadn’t told her anything about that, or about the prison. Rhysand had told her once during their study lessons about what the prison was, what lurked there. To think Amren was trapped there, and gave up almost everything to free herself, and yet be this powerful; goosebumps prickled over Lilith’s skin as she thought about the prison.
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Azriel flew Lilith to the House of Wind. He was glad to do so before he went to find out what the cauldron took from the Queens. He looked at Lilith, her gaze at the city beyond. Azriel had to fight every instinct, had to leash every shadow, to leave her alone in Hewn City. They had a part to play, and if people there knew, he didn’t want to complete that thought.
He knows his position in the court has gained him many enemies. But he also knew that his mate was strong; he looked at Lilith, his eyes widened to see the utter happiness on her face. Lilith’s smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She had always loved flying, he remembered that.
They landed on the balcony “Thank you” Lilith said with a smile. Azriel walked Lilith inside,
Even if there was a war looming in the corner, even if tomorrow wasn’t written, these movements, just two of them, were rare to come. Lilith looked at him “The tea helps” her voice was soft.
“Glad to hear” Azriel said, his eyes softening. Every part of him told to stay, he managed a step; Lilith's eyes went to the ground, mustering up the courage to tell “Thank you” She took an audible breath “For putting me to bed that night” Her voice was a whisper; she was awake, the movement he lifted her, but pretended to be asleep. The words he said removed every doubt in her mind. But the situation well, it was not the time.
Azriel's eyes widen. He managed another step, he raised his hand, paused mid-way, but Lilith didn’t move, as he tugged the strand of her hair back “Please eat” - “You barely did in Hewn” Lilith nodded.
Lilith swallowed, looking at him “Be careful” - “On the mission” Azriel gave her a small smile “I will be” Something happened in Lilith’s chest to hear that low, silky voice. They just stood there for a few precious moments. She didn’t know what took over her, as Lilith took Azriel’s hand in hers. She leaned forward when
A woosh sound came from the landing. Azriel looked towards the balcony “I should get going” Lilith blinked, the world coming back into existence. Her face went all the shades of red as they let go of each other's hands. Azriel looked at her; gone was the male who had been here seconds ago. In front of her was the spymaster, cold, calculating. But Lilith saw the way his eyes softened.
Azriel turned towards to balcony. He halted, turning his head “I’ll come back soon” With that, he left.
Lilith narrowed her eyes at the general, who was grinning ear to ear, “What?” She said, taking a slightly aggressive bite of the chicken. He had been looking at her smiling like that for quite some time.
“Nothing” Cassian drawled, “I think I should have stayed in the Town House a bit longer” He teased.
Lilith felt her cheeks warm thinking about what happened before Cassian came “W-why?” She stumbled.
Cassian laughed and shook his head as he got up, “Training 6 a.m.,” he said as he patted her head. Lilith sighed
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Lilith ran towards the Library, “Feyre!” “Nesta!” She screamed. There was an attack ON Velaris. Hybern somehow managed to get inside the wards. Lilith saw Nesta on the 5th floor, panting
“Feyre” - “She went down” Nesta said between pants. Lilith looked at Cassian, who gave her a curt nod as he turned towards the stairs
“They are here for me” Nesta paused. “For all of us,” Lilith saw the silver lining in her eyes
Lilith held Nesta close “Let’s get out of here”
Lilith gaped at her eldest sister; she took something from the cauldron, snatched and grabbed whatever possible. Trying to claw her way out.
A gasp came out of her mouth, her mind going to what she heard Elain speak, ‘Death and Will walk side by side again’. But Lilith wasn’t the will; her power was a drop in a vast ocean compared to what she read. Although Feyre had suspected Nesta’s powers were related to Death
“Lily?” Feyre’s voice came,
“Re-re” Lilith replied, “How are you, truly?”, She touched the tattoo on Feyre’s arm, a bargain she had made a bargain with a death lord.
There was a pause. “I’m working a loophole from it” - “We cannot risk him being free”
We not I not them but We, Lilith's heart left warm at that “Let’s ask Amren” - “If anyone will figure it out, it’s her”
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
Heart racing, she knocked on the door. Wide hazel eyes met hers. She held the dagger out, “The shadows got it for me” - “When the library incident happened” Lilith fumbled on her words. He was leaving today, and there was no guarantee when he would return.
As he opened the door fully, Lilith noticed he was armed to the teeth. Azriel’s eyes softened “Keep it” he said, voice soft. Lilith's eyes widened “Really?” she questioned. Azriel nodded, tilting his mouth in a barely visible smile
Lilith smiled and mouthed a thank you, “Leaving soon?” Azriel nodded, “Was just about too”
Lilith opened her mouth and closed it, not knowing how to say that she would miss him, that she would be waiting for him. That she knew there was something, but what she didn’t know. Azriel felt everything, saw the different questions on her face.
“I will be back” He enunciated every word, the shadows danced between both of them
Lilith nodded, the tension slightly easing. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Azriel’s arms wrapped around her. Lilith forgot the outside world as the rich scent of him hit her.
“Don’t get in trouble” he whispered
Gossebumps rose on her body as she felt his breath. “Don’t get hurt” she whispered back. Azriel broke the hug and cleared his throat “I should leave” Lilith gave a slight nod
𓆩༺✧༻𓆪
They walked into the house, both chuckling. Lilith had a gleam in her eye
Rhysand took his mate's hands and scanned her face, then looked at his youngest sister, raising a brow, “She wanted to spar” Lilith shrugged “So I knocked the High lady’s ass” Ferye chuckled at that
He sighed. He knew this would happen if Mor trained Lilith. “That she did,” Feyre said “I can’t believe how strong you’ve gotten, Liliy” Feyre smiled at her sister.
They had eaten, Nesta sitting with them, letting her know she would also like to join in the High Lord’s meeting. Lilth was shocked to hear that, but glad that she was doing something.
The door opened and Amren walked in, looking grim “Hybern has made its move” - “They are attacking Adriata as we speak”
𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪
Note: Hii, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. I never thought it would turn into something like a slow-burning kinda thing. But it is, and there was a war scene before, but it was WAY off. And yes, I know Lilith's powers seem off right now, but it's a process I'm trying to build.
Did I wish there was a kiss, absolutely, did i think it was the time? No cause war's at their door, and the Spymaster can't be present
Please do let me know your thoughts
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Updated parts: Chapter 6
Me: Okay, so we need a bridge between what happens and the High Lords' meeting in the third book
Brain: randomly coming up with middle of war scenes, or Lily and Azriel scenes, heck even what will happen 3 chapters from now.
Heart: MAKE THEM KISS
i have to say, i'm obsessed with your "A Court of Calm Chaos" fic, it's amazing i think i'm rereading for the 4th time
Thankuu so much, I'm literally crying tears of joy. You have no idea how much I wanted to hear this. Thanku for making my day
