it's rainy today
i couldn't get on tumblr over the weekend. things kinda really exploded saturday night bc bf was at the bar for like 8 hours and came home wasted saying really awful things and screaming at me until 4am. i slept on the floor in the spare room and now my shoulder is all messed up, haha. then sunday he yelled at me all morning, left, texted me constantly. it was bad. then when he came home at night he brought me kombucha and a coloring book and was acting really nice.. yeah, i know, i'm not naive enough to think it'll stay this way for more than a couple days. i haven't taken my medicine the last two days bc he doesn't like it and says how it makes me act (quiet, calm, etc) is why he treats me this way. but i'm gonna take it today so i can clean and work on some future plans. sometimes it's nice to just write out thoughts so they don't ping pong around my head all at once. what else? i'm trying to stay positive all the time and not let myself get hopeless or depressed. i've been watching videos of cute snails and took a bubble bath saturday :-) till next time, tumblies
