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bittersweet random thought

[vivilio]

Solitude

I feel like my solitude has been taken away

I miss my loneliness

I miss being away of all the anxieties, insecurities and all the negative things hanging on my shoulder

I miss the place to hide all my problems. The place that i could calm me down.

The place that i could reflect to.

I miss the place where i could become who i am.

I miss the place that i could reminiscence the past, enjoying the present and dreaming about the future.

I miss the place with no one’s around.

I miss my room.

[vivilio]

After all, the greatest truths in life are usually the most unpleasant to hear.

The subtle art of not giving a Fuck

[vivilio]

Letting go of someone is like you put down your favorite lipstick that you are longing to buy because it doesn't suit you well.

[vivilio]

I don't know that adult cycle of life is so hard. Until I saw myself crying in the middle of the night listening to ballad songs.

[vivilio]

It's easy at first. But then it all breaks. The more you love, the more it hurts.

Lany hurts

[jericosilvers]

[vivilio]

A letter to you

Dear the sweetest smile I have ever seen

At the beginning of 2018, I walk to the door and you were there welcomed me with your smile. The first time I saw you, I knew you are just another trouble for me. it is indeed a fact. it’s really an odd thing that your behavior is not as sweet as your smile.

you really a jokester person. every time I open the door, you were there. make fun of me, as it just your daily activity to be playful to me.

I acknowledged that you really are a master to flip-flop my mood. Sometimes you’ll make me angry, but sometimes you know how to make my cheeks turn into pink.

It’s torturing for me that it’s hard for me to get mad at you. because if I do. you’ll stare at me with those innocent look and smile at me. 

How unfair is that

Then one day, you said something as like a big brother saying goodbye to a beloved sister. 

In the middle of nowhere, you said that it’s time for me to find the right man and end my solo life.

Thought you are just being playful but then I was wrong.

You are leaving. you wouldn’t sit and stand where I open the door ever again.

No one would ever call me with that nickname again.

You didn’t even give a proper goodbye.

whatta human are you?

As time past by, I get used to opening the door without your presence. I could easily pass and walk by through it every day.

Thought you will be my last that I would never feel the heartbreaking at the beginning of 2018.

Well, I was wrong. 

31st of December of 2018 under the grey sky. We met again. You just the same as the last time I saw you. You always look happy and even happier that you say your marriage is getting closer.

I’m not even surprised. I’ve stalked you before that I can control my facial expression. 

Thanks for making my 2018 full of stories. 

Please don’t ever show your sweet smile to me ever again or I won’t wish you a happy life.

Just like one of Day6 song, no matter what happens, I need to smile. :)

[vivilio]

Aku dan Kamu yang tak pernah menjadi Kita.

sembari menghirup asian dolce latteku. Memori tentangmu kembali menyeruak masuk. Mungkin dulu sekali, mustahil bagiku untuk mengingatmu kembali dan bercerita betapa bodohnya Aku dan Kamu dengan senyum dan tawa renyah dihadapan teman-temanku. namun kini sungguh semuanya adalah perasaan yang indah.

Aku sungguh bersyukur kepada Tuhan untuk tak memberi kesempatan kepada Aku dan Kamu untuk menjadi Kita. 

Tak bisa ku bayangkan bagaimana nantinya kalau Aku dan Kamu harus berpisah. Mungkinku tak bisa berpindah ke lain hati. Selalu saja ada bayangmu disetiap langkahku. sungguh horor bukan.

sungguh, kamu orang terinnocent yang pernah ku kenal. keluguanmu, ketidakpekaanmu, kebaikanmu terhadap semua orang tidak memandang pria dan wanita. yang mana sering kali membuat para wanita baper karnamu. Anehnya kamu masih tidak peka membuat banyak wanita jengkel kepadamu.

Diantara banyak wanita itupun, aku termasuk salah satunya. kzl, pingin marah, jengkel dan males berpapasan denganmu di kampus. 

Lugunya, kamu masih saja sempat menyapaku walau air muka ku jengkel, walau aku pura-pura tidak melihatmu. 

kamu pikir aku akan tersenyum bahagia? NO

Aku tambah JENGKEL, KZL

karna tanpa kusadari, dua sudut bibirku tertarik ke atas.

Mungkin kata “Kita” hanyan angan bagi Aku dan Kamu 

Sampai Jumpa Kamu 

[vivilio]

1.01

Kata orang yah, kalau ngeliat jam dan pada saat itu jam nya dan menitnya sama kayak judul di atas, kata orang ada yang kangen atau mikirin kamu.

Aku jadi heran dan bingung dan bertanya-tanya, itu beneran? Atau cuma mitos belaka? Atau cuma khayalan?

Karna akhir-akhir ini memang ada yang sedang main-main gak jelas di otakku, dan tiba-tiba setiap ngeliat hape, ada aja nemu kejadian kayak judul di atas.

Emang sih gak ada yang buat research tentang itu, mungkin juga cuman kebetulan belaka. Gak ada juga yang membuktikan bahwa teori melihat jam dan menit yang sama berarti ada yang sedang merindukanmu atau sedang memikirkanmu.

Sama kayak kamu menyukai seseorang. Apakah ada teorinya?

Abstrak bukan.

Sama kayak judul di atas.

[vivilio]

Defendant

honestly, i just watch this drama a few days ago. and i fee like Woagh…… i’m a fan of no romance korean drama but sadly i just watch this drama few days ago made me feel like “ where am I back then” haha.

to be honest this drama really really good.i can give all of my thumbs that i have to rate this drama.  the plot of the drama is so unpredictable, each of its episode is really a nerve-wrecking. almost all of the cast in this drama really give their best so that i’m so into the story.

 Defendant tells about a famous prosecutor named park jung woo who one day suddenly he found himself in the jail because kills his wife and also his daughter. he couldn’t remember what was happen to him 4 months ago because he keeps losing his memories. the memories that is left in him is his daughter birthday party. 

so the story begins when Park jung woo investigate a case by Cha min ho that leads into a very exciting, unpredictable, a very drama story of how park jung wow claims himself that he never kills his wife and his daughter. how struggle park jung woo against the world that blame him. and also how he adapted in the jail and meet a funny friends there.

at first i think defendant would be like another criminal drama that i watch, i did not expect it to have a funny scene, but i prove myself wrong. this drama of Park ji sung ahjussi and also Um Ki joon ahjussi liven up the story. 

I do feel pity to Cha min ho, his father did not treat him as a son that made him into a total psycopath. he thinks using money and power can change the world around him but no-uh Cha min ho. there still law and people like Park jung woo in this world.

[vivilio]

Bokja club. Fighting!!!

maybe many of you did not watch this drama. but, trust me!!! if you are a k-drama worm, you must watch this drama!

the drama is not that too complicated, but what i want to highlight is the story of this drama. Avenger social club is a drama that tells about 4 strangers that get together because of the same reason. to give a lesson to people who have hurt them.

Mi sook and Jung hye wants to give her revenge to their husband, then Ho do Unnie wants to give her revenge to the child’s principal and the last is Soo gyum who wants to give his revenge to his parents.

their rule is, the revenge must be classy, they did not want to injure some people they just want to give a lesson to that people so that he/she realize about his/her mistake. 

this drama tells that Ahjumma can be so scary when they are united. wkwk

the focus is that, some people might underestimate women that couldn’t do anything when something happen or they also labels us as weak. but. this drama has proven that women can solve their problems with a very genius way. slow but sure. haha

if some of you sick of many romance drama that gets too sweet every day, i truly recommend this drama. a very worth to watch!

[pena-kecil-deactivated20190401]

terkadang, aku jatuh cinta pada aku yang sendirian. yang hanya ingin dibiarkan, yang hanya ingin berbagi isi kepala kepada pagi, malam atau hujan. sebab, aku tahu, serumit apa pun aku melewati hidup, tetap saja akan ada seseorang yang tidak benar-benar peduli. itu alasannya aku lebih senang berbagi sendirian, mendamaikan isi hati dan kepala, agar di antara keduanya seimbang dalam menentukan rasa. iya, aku perempuan yang juga manusia biasa. aku tidak hanya memiliki rasa bahagia, tetapi juga rasa sedih, rasa kecewa. aku tidak ingin selalu berpura-pura kuat untuk menahannya, saat aku sudah merasa tidak bisa, aku akan menangis. percayalah, menangis bukan karena kita lemah, tetapi tanda bahwa ya memang kita hanya manusia biasa. . 📷: pinterest 💌: @penakecil_id

[vivilio]

Me : *gak sengaja posting capturean yang isinya agak galau.*

Temen : lu bisa galau juga?

Me : bodo ah

Temen : kayak bukan lu aja

Me : emang gue biasanya gimana?

Temen : lu tuh anaknya ceria, kayak gak pernah sakit ati gitu lah.

Alhamdulillah, gak sia-sia senyum dan ketawa terus bisa bikin image kita di depan banyak orang terlihat setrong. Tapi aku anaknya emang setrong kok. Hihi

[vivilio]

“Good job”, “well done” you’re doing great”. Sometimes those kinds of simple compliments are the most wanted words that you want to hear. To keep you confident and moving forward.

Jin woo winner

[mbeeer]

Jika suatu saat jalan kita bersebrangan lagi, aku tak apa. Kuharap kita bisa bertemu tanpa gagu, bercanda lagi tanpa harus mengungkit luka yang sudah lalu. Gembira seperti bertemu dengan teman lama. Tak lagi berlomba siapa yang lebih dulu menemukan bahagia.

(via mbeeer)

Mungkin jika suatu hari kita berpapasan lagi, aku tetap akan tak akan melihatmu. Aku akan tetap pura-pura lupa padamu. Bagiku begitu lebih baik. Aku takut senyum atau canda tawa kita menghidupkan api yang sudah padam ini.

[mbeeer]

Aku rasa, yang selalu kita pertahankan, yang selalu kita usahakan, yang selalu kita perjuangkan mati-matian itu memang bukan yang terbaik di mata Tuhan.

(via mbeeer)

[vivilio]

Because this is my first life

Itu adalah judul korean drama yang baru saja selesai ku tonton.

Dramanya mengisahkan tentang pekerjaan dan pernikahan dan di latar belakangi oleh orang yang berumur d awal 30-an.

Menurutku ini drama ringan yang terdabest. I love their perspectives of love and marriage. As we know that asian people says that

“Menikah bukan hanya menyatukan 2 insan, tapi juga dua keluarga”.

Itu artinya menikah adalah menyatukan mimpi mu dan pasanganmu tapi juga harapan2 keluarga dan orang terdekatmu.

Dari yang aku lihat sekarang, kebanyakan orang ngebet nikah karna di dasari oleh tuntutan sosial. Menikah jadi bukan lagi sesuatu yang sakral yang di landasi karna cinta tapi karna memuaskan diri akan tuntutan sosial itu sendiri.

Menikah bukan lagi jadi mimpi2 indah yang di bangun saat sedang merencanakan pernikahan tapi menjadi beban.

Jadi menikahlah karna cinta dan impian kalian, jangan patahkan impian kalian hanya karna pernikahan untuk mencapai sebuh tuntutan sosial.

Teruntuk kita semua yang selalu di tanya kapan menikah? Aku berharap semoga kita semua bukan menikah karna tuntutan social, because this is our first life.