rat-with-wings

He/They/It Idk Vent Blog or smthing

[vivisected-broken-wings]

Introduction Post

Names: Rat, Rascal, Fallen

Nicknames: Idk

Pronouns/Gender/Sexuality: He/They/It, Transmasc/Nonbinary/Agender, Omnisexual/AroAcespec

DNI:

Animal Abusers, Homo/Transphobes, Sexists, Racists, Bigots, Estranged Parents, Proshippers, Ai supporters, Etc.

TW Warning: This is probably gonna be a vent blog. Ummm, abuse, bad family dynamics, trauma, OCD/intrusive thoughts, S/H mentions

[vivisected-broken-wings]

Looking back over my last relationship has got me messed up. He was really really controlling and manipulated me as well as our friend group. Triangulation, so much lying, complete disregard of my boundaries, fetishising my trans identity, isolating me from my friends.

He was abusive. And no one knows. They all feel bad for him.

I reconnected with a friend and she doesn't know any of what actually went on because for all the gossiping and smearing he did of ME behind my back, he apparently kept all his actions secret.

She's still friends with him. To be honest I think she still sees me as "that mentally ill guy who was a bit mean to her sweet and caring friend!" who she feels pity for but doesn't really care about.

I hope she believes me when we end up talking, but I sort of doubt it. People almost never believe the victim when the abuser is a close friend.

I wasn't a very engaged partner admittedly, but it wasn't for no reason. Dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome, depression, bullying and undiagnosed autoimmune conditions ALONGSIDE final high school exam season meant I didn't particularly have much bandwidth to spare.

All of this he was WELL aware of prior to confessing to me and asking me out mind you. We had been friends for 2 years prior.

Why one would choose to date a notoriously dedicated academic and then be pissed off that they aren't texting you 24/7 is confusing to me.

I was only able to come to school 45% of the time bc of my health and made it pretty clear that engaging with people, even online, was extremely draining.

Despite that, I tried really hard to accommodate him, because I cared alot!! I texted him as much as I could, had him over twice and spent all my breaks at school with him unless I literally couldn't.

He started talking behind my back to our mutual friend until he came at me because he thought I was "taking advantage" of him and basically implied I was being abusive. He also implied I was faking my disabilities and illnesses and that "If you're really so sick then you should probably go to a doctor." as If I wasn't doing exactly that already. (This was all based on what my ex had been telling him) We were obviously unable to stay friends after that because I couldn't easily move past that.

This put a strain on my relationship with his gf, our other mutual friend, leaving me without anyone but my ex. He had previously isolated me from our old friend group by claiming our mutual friend was trying to get between us/behaving inappropriately towards him.

He pretended to feel "so bad" about me not being comfortable or friends with our mutual friend anymore even though it was his fault. He provoked, manipulated and constructed the whole conflict.

"Awe, this is really hard for me bc I want you guys to be friends!" No consideration as to if I want to be friends, or how hurt I was from the fight, especially because he didn't back me up at all.

He was so severely insecure that he couldn't bare for me to spend any of my very limited energy on anyone or anything that wasn't him. Got super mad about me spending time on school or my birds or even napping instead of him.

I don't know, I need to vent about this. I've spent so much of the past 10 months minimising what he did because no one else seemed to care and I believed I was somehow the bad person because that's what people said.

This is getting long and its late, but he threatened to khs/sh when I tried to break up, trauma dumped and emotional guilt tripped me before that, got shitfaced drunk after I'd let him know I wasn't comfortable with alcoholism/there was a history of alcohol abuse in my family, followed me home and tried to pressure me into letting him into my house so he could "hang out with me", tried to pressure me into staying at his house despite the fact I definitively didn't want to (It was a hard boundary and I mentioned I have trauma around that- just saying "no" should've been enough but he kept going even after I let him know I had trauma around sleepovers+birthdays+alchohol), pressured me into kissing him bc it was his birthday and was really creepily touchy while drunk.

Said "Wow, you're really serious about this whole "being a man" thing huh." -I was trans the entire time we knew each other (2 years prior to dating) and for many years prior.

Fuck that guy.

....

.......

I really want her to believe me.

[theramseyloft]

Were those flared bits on Teasles wings because he’s part frill back?? I’ve seen those on other breeds and idk if that means there’s frill in their DNA or something

Yes!

The Frillback Frill is a partial dominant gene with viriable expression.

As long as there is a copy, there is at least a little hint of a curl.

Pitch

And her sister, Cheeks, are F1 crosses: Frillback Dad, Old German Owl mom.

Valentine is Cheeks' daughter, sired by a Voorburg Shield Cropper

So she is only 1/4 Frillback.

Hagrid is another F1 cross: Frillback dad, Giant Homer mom.

PJ is Pitch's son by a Chinese Owl: 1/4 Frillback.

Ellie is Valentine's Daughter by a Lahore/Modena cross: 1/8 Frillback.

Farthing is Hagrid's son, sired by a Classic Frill x Racing Homer: 1/4 Frillback.

Indica is Ellie's son by a Lucerne x Show Type Racing Homer: 1/16 Frillback.

Leela is Farthing's niece, sired by a Classic Frill x Racing Homer: 1/8 Frillback.

Angel is Valentine's Son by a Utility King: 1/8 Frillback.

I can continue if you are interested in seeing other dilutions, but right now I have Patreon Updates to write.

[heavenlyparasite-0]

AAAATTENTION I HAVE MADE A PATHETIQUE MIKU RP/ASK BLOG!!!!!!!! TALK TO HER, SEND ASKS, ANYTHIN!!!!!! I WANNA GET BACK INTO RP'ING!!!

@pathetique-dragueur

[vivisected-broken-wings]

Gay. Good job

[bloodysickness]

say what you want abt the tomato hamster creature, but it’ll forever always have a place in my heart and will be my favorite reaction image to use

[vivisected-broken-wings]

It just perfectly encapsulates the emotions so well :3

I love it.

[r4zorblade-k1sses]

sometimes i think about how my parents would feel about me cutting. disappointed? mad? i dont know

[vivisected-broken-wings]

What if they knew? What would they do? Nothing, like usual probably.

[vivisected-broken-wings]

Apparently my mum said something sorta vile to her best friend at work. He had a severely traumatic childhood to the point where, like me, he has a butt ton of health issues from it, in therapy etc.

Anyway, they were talking about going to the zoo and they asked which zoo was the best one and he replied "The Singapore zoo. We went there quite a few times as kids." And they had the gall to be like "Oh wow!! You had a really lucky childhood didn't you!!" He obviously looked a bit aghast and they were like "Oh yeah, not all lucky I guess."

So they recounted this to me as a "funny story" and then said:

"And I know it was bad to say that but for someone like me who grew up poor that just sounds so amazing!! Getting to go out of the country on vacation as a kid?! Clearly X grew up privileged huh? Obviously it wasn't all bad for him then HA!"

Like wowie. Very self centred aren't we? I wonder why your child has difficulties coming to you with their problems. I can't imagine why.

[vivisected-broken-wings]

The whole mentality/excuse of "I didn't have anyone else to talk to!!" When you confront a parent who parentified you into a little therapist for them is so disgusting. Because, Its a lie.

They had other people than their 13 year old child to complain to and whinge to about their shitty abusive husband- who they were actively subjecting the child to anyway. Adult people who could've supported them and taken care of them, given them advice and recourses to leave perhaps?

But no.

They actively made the choice to put their needs above yours and use you for their own comfort, no matter the cost to you. Did they protect you? No. Not from the terrifying man you were forced to live with, let alone themselves. They just wanted someone to make them feel better about choosing to continue to live in misery.

Their partner wasn't giving them positive or kind emotional attention so how about they make their kids do it instead!! Sounds very normal and healthy and not gross of boundary crossing at all.

[gingermcl]

Enmeshment is a family dynamic where personal boundaries are weak or nonexistent and individual identities are blurred together. Instead of being seen as separate people, family members are treated as emotional extensions of one another. Thoughts, feelings, choices, and even responsibilities are shared in unhealthy ways. In these families closeness is defined by access and control not respect and autonomy. separating or individuating is typically viewed as betrayal or abandonment instead of normal development.

Common signs of enmeshment are parents who overshare adult problems with their children, expect the child to meet their emotional needs, or rely on the child for comfort, validation, or decision-making. Children may be treated like a best friend, a therapist, or partner rather than a child. Privacy is not respected, guilt is used to control behavior, and disagreement is seen as disloyalty. If a child doesn’t think or feel the same way as the parent, the parent will tell the child that they don’t know how they feel and rewrite history in their own mind, Instead of the child is developing their own independent thoughts and desires. The child is saying as a problem or even insane for not viewing the world, the same as the rest of the dysfunctional system. A child might be told things like “You’re all I have,” “After everything I’ve done for you,” or “Family doesn’t keep secrets,” which trains a child that having boundaries is selfish or cruel.

As an adult, enmeshment can show up as chronic guilt, difficulty making decisions without approval, fear of disappointing family - not making decisions without considering what your family is going to say or do, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. In healthy families, children make decisions about their own lives confidently because they trust themselves, and then they share with their parents later, not fearing that they will be reprimanded or made to feel like a horrible human for living their lives as they should. Enmeshed individuals may overexplain, overshare, or feel intense anxiety when they try to say no or create distance. Even when the relationship is painful or controlling, separating can feel terrifying or wrong, because their nervous system has been trained to associate closeness with safety and independence with danger.

Escaping enmeshment is about slowly building a sense of self that is separate from the family system. This usually starts with internal boundaries: recognizing that other people’s feelings, crises, and reactions are not yours to manage. From there, it involves practicing small, external boundaries - saying no without overexplaining, keeping some parts of your life private, and making choices without seeking permission.

There is often a strong emotional backlash when someone begins to unmesh. Family members may accuse them of being selfish, cold, or “changed,” because the old system depended on their compliance. This discomfort does not mean you are doing something wrong. It usually means the system is losing control. Learning to tolerate this guilt and anxiety is part of the healing process.

Healthy relationships allow closeness and separateness to exist at the same time. You can love people without being responsible for them, and you can be connected without being fused. Real intimacy is not built on obligation, guilt, or access to your inner world on demand. It is built on mutual respect, choice, and the freedom to be a whole person.

[vivisected-broken-wings]

I need to escape this hell

[audreyrosepromise28]

It's such a strange and unique way of fucking up your kid when you at the same time a) treat them like a personal therapist giving them problems that are decades away from anything that they could handle, and expecting the kid to actually fix your grown up problems and to listen to your trauma.

And b) at the same time never give them any real outside world responsibility, making sure that they know as little as possible about how to actually survive in the real world, like paying bills, etc.

Meanwhile making sure but all of your child's self-worth is tied to their actions, and not who they are as a person.

It's a weird little vicious circle, that is so incredibly hard to outgrow, because like I know I'm not worthless just because there might be a time when I'm not productive, and I know I don't have to fix everyone's problems, and I know that I'm a capable adult who can do all the things I need to do to survive and thrive, but my basic training for life goes against all that!