Another silly one. Realization spoilers for Jean Loo Pissoir. Mac mentioned. Kopi mentioned. Jean Loo Pissoir/Reader. Gender Neutral Reader. Fluff. SFW. Death threat but like a non serious one. Not Beta Read, I die. I just die.
âNon. Non non non non non!â
âIt's not even that bad.â
âIt is not that bad, it is worse!â
You and Jean Loo Pissoir, your favorite former toilet turned lover turned accountant, sit at your kitchen table drinking some of the most dogshit coffee you've ever had.
God, you miss Kopi.
âYou said you would give me a hand with my taxes!â
âWhat the hell does that meaâŠoh! Financial disaster!â
âOh ho, trĂšs bien! You have been studying?â
âOh yeah. I got some uh, tapes from the library. Anyway, my finances can't be that bad!â
He removes a disorganized folder from his briefcase and tosses it on the table. A few receipts flutter out of it when it lands.
âWhat is this, hein? It is theâŠ,â he gestures vaguely as he searches for the right word. âIt is like theâŠtheâŠfinancial spaghetti code!â
âHow do you know the phrase Spaghetti Code?â
âSome of the walls in this houseâŠthey are very thin. You think Jean Loo could not hear everything that went on in the office? One would not think Mac could get so angry at a website, butâŠâ
âWell, if it's that bad doesn't that just mean I need your help even more?!â
âIf Jean Loo tries to deal with thisâŠmess, he will end up in prison!â
âOof. You really think it's that bad? Do I really need to worry about the IRS?â
âNon, non. What you will have to worry about is Jean Loo losing his mind and putting you in a shallow grave!â
âUgh. Come on! Please? You promised!â
âJean Loo never said the word promise.â
âIt was implied,â you groan. Plan B. You rest your head on your hand. âI really could use your help. I'm just soâŠbad at this kind of thing.â
He looks at you, unmoved.
âAnd when you said you'd help me, I couldn't help but be sooo grateful that I had such a cool and smart boyfriend to sort it all out.â
He looks at you, a little moved. He huffs, exhaling through his nose. âWellâŠâ
You look at him, trying your hardest to look sweeter and cuter than you ever have before in your goddamn life. âGosh, without your help, I don't know how I'm going to-â
âHey! Stop it! Non! Jean Loo sees what you are doing! He will not be swayed by your flirt words and manipulations!â He points at you accusingly, narrowing his eyes. âHoh hoh, you think you are the smart little cookie, no?â
FUCK. You were so sure he was going to crack, too! Plan C. You reach across the table, with a half lidded gaze, and grab his tie, giving it a gentle tug.
âYou wanna make out?â
âAbsolutely, yes.â
âI'll be right backâŠlover,â you say, doing your best to sound as sultry as possible as you leave the table. When you return, you present Jean Loo with a cup containing a small amount of blue liquid. He looks at it curiously and takes an experimental sniff.
âThis isâŠmouthwash?â
You say nothing, but waggle your eyebrows.
Jean Loo takes a deep breath, setting down the cup and rising from his seat.
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