I'll shine with warm colors

Lee Jaehwa; 𝔍𝔞𝔢𝔰𝔲. Leader of Wonder under KMG.

[fy-taeyong95]

PrimoUomo | do not edit

[taeyong-daily]

[vldjaehwa]

who was the last person you texted

The last person I texted was let me think about this...... Oh! It was my friend Sam I was talking to him about online classes

[vldjaehwa]

who is your hero

My hero is my mom. She helped me be who I am and never forced me into something I didn't like.

[vldjaehwa]

when you were younger what was your dream job

My dream job when I was younger was working in my dad's business..... Oh how the times have changed to be honest

[vldjaehwa]

what is your favorite drink

My favorite drink is probably sparkling water. But like the flavored one thats blackberry

[vldjaehwa]

If you could get coffee with anyone, who would it be?

Coffee with anyone? Maybe my mom. I miss her a lot to be honest.

[vldjaehwa]

who was the last person you talked to

Oh I think it was Yongguk. we were talking about when we could next meet up.

[vldjaehwa]

do you have any secret talents

I am good at martial arts? Does that count it's secret.

[vldjaehwa]

how do you get along with your members

..... Uh we work together? To be honest it's kind of messy.

[vldjaehwa]

what kind of concept do you hope to debut with

Oh I really hope we can try out some cool concepts. But cute would be interesting it would help push me out of my comfort zone.

[vldjaehwa]

which debuted soloist is your favorite?

I am gonna be a bit biased but it has to be my brother. Yongguk I mean Papillon, well him or Spyder

[vldjaehwa]

how long have you been a trainee

Oh god uh... A while. To be honest I don't have an exact number it's been so long

[vldjaehwa]

which debuted group is your favorite

Oh hands down gotta love Agent6. Though some of the girl groups aren't bad

[vldxion]

When: 2020.01.31 Where: KMG Entertainment Building With: @vldjaehwa​

xion yawned as he walked towards the kmg building, nose scrunching as he attempted to shake out the last remnants of his unplanned friday afternoon nap from his system. he hadn’t meant to fall asleep in his living room while rewatching at eighteen, but here he was. he had been woken up by bunbun’s nose twitching against his own, adorable rabbit face staring him down as he woke up. at least he had woken up on the same day this time, rather than at 4am. tomorrow would be isac recording, which xion looked forward to. it’d be nice to be able to fool around with his friends and fans.

the door of the building opened as he approached, and a familiar figure walked out into the chilly night. jaehwa! xion felt a smile stretch across his face at the sight of him. even though their friendship had been rocky since jaehwa was pulled from the half.life line up, xion still clung to the closeness they had when they were trainees. 

“jae jae! hi!”

[vldjaehwa]

Jaehwa hadn’t expected his night to turn out the way it did. Feeling drained from what previously had happened to him he peeled his body off the dance rehearsal ground and had ventured off to the bathroom to change. He felt gross and tired as he looked at his reflection lazily pulling his hoodie over the shirt he had on. Turning the light off in the practice room after cleaning up he grabbed his bag slinging it across his shoulders and pushed the doors open to the building. The cold air burst through the doors and clung to his body making him shiver slightly as he yawned a soft growl emitting from his stomach reminding him to go and find food to eat.

Due to the late time Jaehwa wasn’t expecting anyone to be out or coming to the building. Hell he was hoping no one would be around, he just did not have the energy to deal with anyone let alone someone he didn’t like talking to. Alas though the world decided to make him deal with Xion of all people, the hyper active puppy of Half.Life. He admits the boy was nice but he had his own issues to figure out before he could deal with him. Turning his head to the direction the sound came from he looked to the male with an emotionless expression.

“Xion, Hi I guess.... What are you doing here?” He might not be ready to attack his problems and issues with the male but the least he could do was be civil?

[vldjaehwa]

Solo Jaehwa

Where: KMG practice room

With: Himself

When: 11 pm

TW: Mentions of mental health, eating disorders, mentions of panic attacks.

Jaehwa didn’t know how long he had been practicing for but he did know it’s been hours since he ate. His body was starting to feel the effects of over working himself, his stomach eating away at it’s insides. Though he didn’t care it wasn’t his priority, what a joke honestly that he didn’t view his body as his priority. The squeaks left from the contact of his sneakers hitting the floor bounced throughout the room. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he froze and tripped falling on the ground. 

What was staring back at him was a face he didn’t recognize anymore. His eyes were sunken in eyes and dark bags to accent it. His cheeks seemingly hollow on his face. The shirt oh his body that once used to cling to his skin was now big on him and hung loosely on his shoulders. If his brother was here in this moment he could picture the expression on his face as he spat out insults and commented on how pathetic he looked. Who was this person? he thought to himself because surely this was no longer him, no longer Jaehwa. 

The him he knew took care of himself, looked healthy, actually ate. The him that he knew would have never held petty grudges or cared what other people said or thought about him. Clutching his chest suddenly he took in a shaky breathe as it started to feel like a weight was set on top of him. He didn’t know what was happening. This feeling wasn’t normal to him. Pushing himself up off the floor he tried to take in a breathe but found it was hard to and coughed a little. Searching for his water bottle he crawled over to it and with a shaky hand lifted it to his lips. The cold water helped him feel like his throat was no longer constricting itself. 

Looking in the mirror and at himself he glanced down to his shaking hands and slowly tried to take in a deep breathe. It didn’t take him long to realize he was having a panic attack though it was very new to him. This was the best he could do for himself, counting in 8 and letting out his breathe Jaehwa was able to calm himself down before he fell back against the floor...... maybe he really needed help after all. Jaehwa knew there was a lot he needed to work on, a lot that he realized now and he would slowly but surely reach that point just maybe not right away.

[taeyong-daily]