You Know Strawberries?...... That's My Jam!! @vodka-marshmallows-blog - Tumblr Blog

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

They must of had major beef with him..........

#funny #animal jokes #cow assassins #rip

sweatrer-deactivated20131020

ur insecure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i kno what for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ur a bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

tastefullyoffensive

[cairosmith]

When I'm in charge of the map: "well we could be here...or here... But I'm pretty certain we're here;yeah let's go this way!" *5 hours later in the middle of a field* "Ohhh wait this is a map of north Korea"

#map skills #funny #my bad #North Korea

When you get sent arrogant dick pics

#dic pics #simon Cowell #noope

I want to find a human who likes the name "Gene"; so I can say to them "how's the Gene's?" And one day they will say "I'm so aubergine's!" And we will be best friends and laugh at each other's awful sense of humour forever

#vegetable humour #soul mates

I sometimes feel like I was Marie Antoinette' s fat step sister in a past life. "What that cake? OH that was for themm I seee! Yeahiateallofthat."

#Marie Antoinette #cake #past life #ooops

Lead me astray to a place where our sins are used to paint the rainbows

#rainbow #run away with me #personal paradise

Rule Number 1: Never leave the knife in the cake!

#cake

One spoon of icing for me....... One spoon of icing for the cake!

#cake

I would eat a lot more salad if it was made out of pizza.

foreverashortarse

vodka-marshmallows-blog

I've never been asked so nicely tbh

phe-nomenal

genderhexed

#this is the dress that i will wear to the throne room after destroying my enemies#they will kiss my gold clad feet and swear fealty #and i will smile and stroke the head of my pet lion #yes #good #this is my future