life is hard love.

[vogueb1tch]

To those glorifying my struggle...

I’ll begin by saying it’s not beautiful. It’s not the beginning of a love story where a boy saves you from your sadness. It’s not long texts from friends saving you from taking too many pills. It’s not the sad movies and music while laying in bed. It’s not mascara stains from tears. It’s not beautiful poetry with a somber meaning.

It’s- Waking up every morning taking pills to “balance the chemicals” in your brain while wondering “when will my brain function in tune.”Monthly doctor visits with a person who tries to fix you by covering your nightstand in prescriptions. Mom asking how you’re feeling every 4 hours because seeing her baby bawling on the bathroom floor ingesting the medicine cabinet is not something she ever forgets. Not believing anyone could love you because everytime you check the mirror, you see a portrait of flaws staring back at you. Not trusting love because no one seems to stay long enough to care, yet still takes a piece of you upon leaving. Cancelling plans I made a week ago because depression is talking loud today and I can’t seem to quiet its laughter. Friends giving up on you because “you won’t talk about what’s going on”. Wishing you knew how to begin to explain this war within you. It’s missing too many school days to the point you are threatened with court, as if the judge can summon the demons away. Trying to explain to scholarships and colleges why you test high yet your grades are low. Showing your gpa and feeling useless because you couldn’t even motivate yourself to get up and quit staring at the wall long enough to go to class. It’s having no carefactor for makeup because you don’t think it matters anymore. It’s not beautiful.

You see it’s a struggle of what you know you should do and what the disease says. It’s not this pretty girl who gets through it and lives happily ever after, it’s forever. Some days better than others, all a fight.

[criwes]

[balloonemies-blog]

☑Your kids will love them! 👦🏻

☑︎Be the balloon holding asshole at raves 🎈

☑︎Tie us around yourself and walk around for a political/fashion statement  👍

Shop our 12 pack balloons ON SALE now

[deathtothempire]

~I’ll just pretend I’m getting better~

[restritivo]

Stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart.

[extrasad]

You can’t change the past And I can’t make my dad call me back And you’ll only be drunk, stumbling around New York City with weed stuck under your nails once Even if it happens again, it won’t happen in the same way And I grew up in a small town, not small enough to see the stars, But small enough for the cracks in our hearts to seem like the biggest thing around And believe me Promises are like peach flavored smoke from his dry lips They hit you in the face and dance around the room, twirling like you did in ballet class And then they disappear And you don’t photograph as nicely as you did when you were 15, Hair out of your freckled face And peach smoke makes you cough And weed tastes like the back of a cop car till you call your mom And you can’t go back And all you’ll have are the polaroids But color fades all the time, things spill, memories stain, small towns get too small, and heart cracks get way too big And you’ll only be 18 once

Believe me (via extrasad)

[wnq-writers]

Some days I’m Van Gogh’s Starry Night other days I’m his suicide letter.

souu-h  (via wnq-writers)

[wnq-writers]

Sometimes we meet someone and are with them for a short time, yet somehow we write about them forever.

jcatmoonlight (via wnq-writers)

[vogueb1tch]

The thing is when you wanted something, you went for it, you never thought twice. I admired that. I admired the persistence and the care you had for the interests you had. But who would have thought that the same thing I admired about you, could break me too...

- too hurt 2 think

[nakedly]

I want you to drunk text me. I want you to think about me. Please fucking think about me sometimes because the only thing I do is think about you

(via nakedly)

[vogueb1tch]

An Apology For ILY

I’m sorry I don’t carry the words you said to me with meaning. I’m sorry if I am unable to find truth in your compliment. I was taught a man will say anything to hear the sound of your pants unzip and the clasp of your bra come apart. I was told to not leave my drink unattended at a gathering or bar because then some “man” could slip a pill into my vodka which I only drank because it was the only thing that could drown out the sounds as his lips touched mine. I was taught not to walk alone in the dark because even though I wasn’t doing anything but trying to clear my mind a “man” could come up behind me and pin me to the backseat of his car then leave me in an alley naked and afraid. I was taught not to apply all of my happiness into a “man” because he has every right to up and leave when better comes and walks into his life. I was told by my brother “fuck her and leave” as if that makes me feel any sense of respected. I was told if you don’t have boulders for boobs , a table top for a tummy, and Alaska for an ass you won’t ever be wanted. I was told I love is a “mans” biggest lie. I was told a women is basically a mans property and I can’t trust a “man” or his word. I was told a “man” will tear me apart and leave me in a pile in the corner. That a “mans” memory will haunt me more than death ever could because knowing one is deceased is easier then accepting the fact that he left me shattered. Nothing will mend me. Nothing could take away the pain, so I will go to the bar with my vodka and when that “man” puts that tab in my drink and burns as it settles in.. he will carry me back to his place where he will take over my surrendered body. When I wake I’ll remember the words that once warned me and blame myself in therapy for years to come. I’m sorry will be my words,As you confess your life be for me. I’m sorry I do not find meaning in the words that I once craved. I’m sorry if you really did fall for someone whom is so emotionally fucked up. I lost all faith in trust and I’m sorry that my past has made my present so intimidating.

[notcompletelygone]

I realized that I didn’t know what else to do. That’s when I finally understood… There’s nothing left to do. You’re gone and that has to be okay with me.

It’s not though (via notcompletelygone)

[immersedinsadness]

We talk about the pain of losing a lover. But never the pain of your best friend ‘forever’. When the breakdown of that friendship destroyed me more than any other.

-M.C.E There are two types of significant others. (via immersedinsadness)

[vogueb1tch]

You did what you said you never would,became what you said you never could,and did the things you never should.

:/

[vogueb1tch]

Not sure if you're using me or if I'm just not used to this..

.

[useleverage]

[wnq-writers]

Oh how the world would change if we told other people the things we wanted so badly to be told.

everythingsdistorted (via wnq-writers)