The VoidCo Whenever

An irregularly updated newsletter run in my spare time

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #8: theres problems

Local Hallway Spook, Shade has reported a strange affliction affecting the emptiest among us. The emptier we are inside, the more the Void will expand and push our souls out of our body. The husks when not perfectly impersonating the person they used to be shamble around and mutter "All will Return to Void".

I do not think you should be alarmed. Fear will just empty you faster. Instead, find someone you trust, and stick together, your mutual light should Keep you safe.

And now a word to my future. Keep them safe. They need you now more than ever.

Word of the Issue: Luminance

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #7: Companions

Local Unaffiliated Malebenefactor Skate Skaiason has decided to place companion cubes throughout Gotham Tower. There is apparently a sweepstakes where if you you take 3 to the growing fort in LOSWIF, you get a 24 hour voucher for strings-free happiness.

On a related note, please please please, only use the fort in the break room for 30 minutes at a time, Management made that very clear.

Word of the Issue: Construct

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #6: No Running In The Halls

The Tower has been getting strict about the rules recently. Anyone caught running in the halls will have to walk through a maze of spikes to reach their destination. Flying is no good either because the floor will remain 2 inches below you at all times. So until such time as Gotham Tower decides it's okay to run again, we're stuck walking.

There's a strange exception to this. There's a strange shadow entity currently roaming the halls. It tries to speak I but can't make out what it's saying. It is allowed to move as fast as it pleases, possibly because it's not truly here?

Word of the Issue: Impedance

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #5: Death and Taxes

It has recently come to my attention that our mutually beloathed employer has an "IRS Department", I am unsure as to its current purpose, and personally, I think it should be gutted in favor of tax exemptions for cyborg employees.

In related news: A fast food directory has been distributed to a majority of employees in the processing, call center and collections departments, featuring various restaurants with nearby department access points as anchors. Please be sure to avoid The Basement Creature on your way to the McDonalds on floor 0.

As for me, I need to get my new Photo ID Printed, so that'll be a while.

Word of the Issue: Tedium

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #4: Results

Last night the battle took place. The manager won, but due to the following line in their employment contract, they had to cede control of Team Abyssal anyway.

"If under any circumstance, the authority of your position is challenged by the CEO, you are to immediately cede control of Team Abyssal to the CEO of VoidCo."

This line was buried in that mountain of a contract. Reports that Skate Skaiason were at the event are believed to be accurate, but the extent of his involvement with proceedings remains unknown.

Word of the Issue: Predestined

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #3: Someone done fucked up

Last Night, it was discovered that Team Abyssal went behind #1's back and placed a Core on the Sea Mauville.

#1 got reasonably upset about this, and a pokémon battle will be held in the Union Room in a few days.

In other news, #1 has taken up language studies.

Word of the Issue: Erudite.

Like what you're reading? Please help me write this by submitting newsworthy VoidCo stories!

- SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Issue #2: Wrath Month & A Package.

It is July, LGBTQIA+ Wrath Month here at VoidCo. Remember, don't piss anyone off, because they're all entitled to one free beating this month!

Also, a strange package has arrived at the Penthouse, containing the traditional bedding material for my people, The Elgavans. It seems #1 has a good side too!

-SE-07

[voidco-whenever]

Uhhh first Issue I guess? I'm kinda new to this whole "Journalism" thing. I guess the most important thing to report on was that an employee on loan from Ghalne, SE-08 has had its Kirby Amiibo returned by #1's Secretary.

-SE-07.