VADER'S LEGACY

[volatilekyber]

This   is   a   canon   divergent,   headcanon and au   heavy   blog   for   Ben   Solo,   aka   Kylo   Ren,   of   Star   Wars.   Penned   by   Megan,   (she/her,   thirty one)   Private   and   mutuals   only.   MINORS   DNI.   There   will   be   Reylo   and   it   will   not   be   tagged. Must Read. Affiliated with reyrisen and ofthclight. ACTIVITY NOTICE.

[ofthclight]

She hasn’t ever claimed to sleep well, even before when she was living in Jakku, mornings were early and nights were restless. She was constantly hungry, constantly dragging herself from one wreckage heap to  another in order to scavenge what she could. Now on the base, she finds herself restless for another reason. There are constantly things to do, people to speak to, help to provide. There are endless jobs and tasks to be done, things in need of tinkering. Here, she finally has a use. Besides, she enjoys the sunrise. Here, where there are hills and greenery and water for the light beams to catch on, things are colorful. The planet fills slowly with warmth and light. It’s so unlike Jakku, where the rise of the sun marked more sweltering heat, where the harsh beams of the sun were hardly broken up by anything that could provide shade.

Finn can usually be counted upon to be up as early as she is, and Poe won’t be up for hours. But BB-8 has already found her, stopping at her feet and chirping a bright greeting as she falls into step beside Finn as they tinker on the Falcon. Chewie handles the mechanics of it, doing a few adjustments to the hyperdrive. BB-8 helps, occasionally, with the assistance of R2 and Rey has to admit that she’s overly fond of the small, chirping, beeping conversations between the two droids. She and Finn have spent the past hour or two working on clearing up some of the carbon scoring on the exterior,

As he usually does, her best friend is again regaling her with how terrible of an idea it’s been, bringing him back. And as she usually does, Rey remains silent, casting Finn the occasional bemused smile and gently chastising look. It’s true, she knows, that most people won’t take kindly to a former member of the First Order being within their company, but Finn has been accepted without any questions. Poe — with all his recklessness and stubbornness and his own questionable past, is hailed as a hero among them all. As far as Rey is concerned, people should not be chained by their past choices so long as they’re willing to make amends for them in the future.  Leia agrees, which is why no one dares question it too much. But she’s also sure that Leia intends to make Ben work for his place here the same way others do, which is partially why she doesn’t wake him so early. He needs rest. He needs peace.

Finn falls silent mid-sentence, his expression hardening as he looks at someone over her shoulder, but Rey already knows. Even if she hadn’t had the force at her back to que her in, she would have bene able to feel his presence. Mumbling something about needing to ask Poe a question, Finn sulks off and Rey shakes her head fondly at him as he does before turning back to Ben.  ❝ You were sleeping. ❞  Actually sleeping, from what she could tell. Without the plague of nightmares or the burden of darkness dragging him under. Wiping her hands on a rag, Rey narrows her eyes in amusement as she looks up at him.  ❝ You’re not lazy. And you deserved to rest. But here, ❞  She picks up Finn’s discarded supplies before handing them over,  ❝ You can help me. ❞

[volatilekyber]

Ben happily takes whatever she hands him, something to do with carbon scoring, and he gets to work where Finn had left off, falling into the comfortable silence between them, with the sounds of everything else going on in the background. It's nice to be working on something, tending to something, healing something. Especially the Falcon. It does inspire a wellspring of guilt each time he sees it, as if somehow it is there to remind him of the atrocities of his past, instead of being a lasting reminder of the man who had owned it, who had loved him, who had died for him. He thinks maybe one day he'll get over it, but more importantly, he hopes he won't. It's painful but it's important.

The Falcon takes a beating every run, it seems, but it endures. It survives. Since the war against the Empire, it has flown and vested newer, seemingly better ships. It was the dedication and care that kept it in the sky and if part of his penance was to clean it over and over again, he'd do it. After a few minutes of silence, Ben glances over at Rey, whose simple clothes and windswept hair belie her beauty, which had never quite been as lost on him. "Plans for the day? Once we're done here, I mean." Truthfully, the Falcon is a task that could take them all day if it suited them. There were always things to be done. Somehow, he thinks Rey might be content in that, even if he itches to do something more tangible to help now that he has cast off the shackles of the dark side. While the First Order had taken a sufficient hit with the loss of Snoke, Kylo Ren, and many of the high command, it was not defeated. Crait had not put down the beast, only wounded it.

There is so much to be done and all the time feels borrowed. He wishes he could pause everything in this moment and be allowed to bask in it, but that isn't how was works. His mother was not allowed to do that. Neither had his father. To keep pressing forward, to reach for the final conquering of evil was the Solo Organa way. He would need a weapon though, and he'd trained for ten years in one specific art. It would be a shame to consign him to a gun when the elegance of the lightsaber had always found a home in his grasp. "I was thinking," he says, breaking the silence, his voice cracking slightly, though he powers through without acknowledging it, "That maybe it's never going to be a good time for me to get a kyber and maybe we should just do it. Get it done. And if you really don't want to go to one of the kyber mines, there are always synthetic kyber. They work fine. It's not traditional but nothing about anything I've done has been traditional."

"Pretty much any crystal is going to be an upgrade from the one I was using. It was cracked and distorted and.... largely symbolic of its owner, I guess." But he wasn't that now. He wasn't broken and scattered and lost. He had been found. Found by his family, found by Rey, and it was strange to think that all the years he'd spent searching for his place in the galaxy could have been answered simply by going home. He realizes he has stopped working and goes back to it, let's his thoughts hang in the air between them. He tries not to stare at her, expectant and waiting for her reaction. Give her a moment, he thinks, to process it.

They've got a hundred things to do and heading off to get his crystal isn't high on the list for obvious reasons. She won't be entirely wrong if she tells him they should wait. The enemy is out there. He wants to be equipped to fight but he will defer to her judgement. It's really the only way to do anything these days. The choices he's made in the past aren't convincing anyone of his rationality.

[volatilekyber]

Sorry to anyone who tried to message me via ims for the last couple months...I simply have not been here and as I'm not really returning to Star Wars (yet)...that probably won't change.

[volatilekyber]

When Ben wakes, he still half expects to be in his quarters on one of the First Order star destroyers, all sleek metal and unforgiving black and white. Instead he wakes in an unfamiliar place, though it's becoming more familiar as the days pass. A small cot in a nondescript room. Temporary lodging for the Resistance in an old base, long abandoned by whomever had occupied it before. Rey's bed is across the way, where her things are neatly folded. She's awake, of course, and she'd let him sleep once again. She knows about the nightmares. Even if they're his fault, they still leave him tired.

He pushes the blankets back, and stands, running a hand through his dark hair, which catches on a few tangles. He ignores them, and pulls a sweater over his head, pausing to shove his feet into a pair of boots. It's not loud outside their shared room, but that's because most of the action takes place elsewhere. Almost everyone else is already awake, he's sure. It's instinct to reach for his saber but as always, he doesn't have one. Rey keeps promising she will take him to get another crystal, to construct another weapon, but time hasn't been on their side. A blaster works just as well, but he doesn't wander around with one of those on his belt. He exits the dwelling area and follows the familiar path to the command center.

He's hungry but that's his own fault - he'd slept through breakfast. Now it is time to see what Rey is up to and if there is anything he can do to help. Some people are still cautious around him. People like Poe stop talking when he enters the room. That's only fair, he's earned that. But most people have no idea who he is, except that he is former First Order. Leia wants it kept that way - she won't choose between the Resistance and her son. He's grateful for that, but expects that at some point, it will all boil over and he'll have to face everyone. At some point. Not today. Killing Snoke has earned him some good will and he'll be riding that as long as he can.

He finds Rey, and she is speaking with Finn, their voices earnest and quick. As per usual, the conversation comes to an end as he approaches and Finn glares daggers at him. Alright, so he's still mad. Rey seems undeterred. She turns to him, her expression bright. "Good morning," He says, swallowing past the lump in his throat as Finn turns and stalks away. He tries for a smile. "You should have woken me up. I want to be useful. Everyone is going to think I'm lazy," he half teases.

repost for @ofthclight + rey

[volatilekyber]

I won't be taking on any new threads as of today (it's basically a hiatus) and I will be prioritizing the threads I have the most muse for, for the foreseeable future. That means I might not reply to you and I'm sorry in advance. It doesn't mean I'll never reply! If you see me posting replies to only a few people, I promise I'm not ignoring anyone specifically.

[volatilekyber]

When you'd exhausted all other possibilities and all that remained was the impossible, one was forced to reconsider what impossible meant. There were only a few things Ben was certain of. One was that somehow, he'd been transported to another place, in another time, by the means of some kind of archaic magic he didn't understand. Second, he was alone. Rey had not come with him. He would have to rely on himself and the Jedi skills be had acquired and hope that he could somehow get back. Third, he needed help. Who did he know? He'd been to Coruscant before but in another time. His knowledge wouldn't help him now.

He needed someone he could trust, someone who might believe him. He considered the Jedi temple, but what reason would they have to take him as his word? He was no one. His own mother had not even been born. But he did remember Leia telling him stories of her father. Bail Organa. A senator, during the Clone Wars. And that seemed like the next best thing. If his mother couldn't help him, perhaps her father could. Getting into the Senate had been difficult. It had taken all of his skills to breach their defenses, to blend in. He used the force more than once to get the information he needed, such as the floor of the Alderaanian senator's suite of offices. Luckily, when he arrived, no one was there. Inside, he could hide.

And wait.

And hope that his grandfather was the man his mother had painted him to be. He kept out of the direct line of sight from the door, and resisted the urge to pull his saber. He wasn't in danger. Well, he didn't think he was in danger. When the door slid open and Bail's assistant appeared, the lights went on and Ben sucked in his breath and stood, hoping not to scare them into immediately calling security. "Senator Organa? Please, I'm not here to hurt you. I need to speak with you."

@alderaconsort

[dirbenaffleck]

ADAM DRIVER | Last Week Tonight with John Oliver part 2 requested by @safarigirlsp​ .

[reyloversum]

“You won't run away from me again, will you?”

[dirbenaffleck]

ADAM DRIVER as KYLO REN Star Wars IX - The Rise of Skywalker | Dir. JJ Abrams requested by @safarigirlsp

[unbotheredmuse]

[wordfather]

well maybe the power of love would fix things did you guys think of that? if not we could try biting

[padmelives]

a quick summary of star wars:

[volatilekyber]

When Ben wakes, he still half expects to be in his quarters on one of the First Order star destroyers, all sleek metal and unforgiving black and white. Instead he wakes in an unfamiliar place, though it's becoming more familiar as the days pass. A small cot in a nondescript room. Temporary lodging for the Resistance in an old base, long abandoned by whomever had occupied it before. Rey's bed is across the way, where her things are neatly folded. She's awake, of course, and she'd let him sleep once again. She knows about the nightmares. Even if they're his fault, they still leave him tired.

He pushes the blankets back, and stands, running a hand through his dark hair, which catches on a few tangles. He ignores them, and pulls a sweater over his head, pausing to shove his feet into a pair of boots. It's not loud outside their shared room, but that's because most of the action takes place elsewhere. Almost everyone else is already awake, he's sure. It's instinct to reach for his saber but as always, he doesn't have one. Rey keeps promising she will take him to get another crystal, to construct another weapon, but time hasn't been on their side. A blaster works just as well, but he doesn't wander around with one of those on his belt. He exits the dwelling area and follows the familiar path to the command center.

He's hungry but that's his own fault - he'd slept through breakfast. Now it is time to see what Rey is up to and if there is anything he can do to help. Some people are still cautious around him. People like Poe stop talking when he enters the room. That's only fair, he's earned that. But most people have no idea who he is, except that he is former First Order. Leia wants it kept that way - she won't choose between the Resistance and her son. He's grateful for that, but expects that at some point, it will all boil over and he'll have to face everyone. At some point. Not today. Killing Snoke has earned him some good will and he'll be riding that as long as he can.

He finds Rey, and she is speaking with Finn, their voices earnest and quick. As per usual, the conversation comes to an end as he approaches and Finn glares daggers at him. Alright, so he's still mad. Rey seems undeterred. She turns to him, her expression bright. "Good morning," He says, swallowing past the lump in his throat as Finn turns and stalks away. He tries for a smile. "You should have woken me up. I want to be useful. Everyone is going to think I'm lazy," he half teases.

starter for @ofthclight + Rey

[volatilekyber]

Uh....like for a starter in my new verse???? Even if you don't, I might just make one anyway bc I have tons of muse and will bully you until you write with me (:

[volatilekyber]

My mainverse used to be post-canon, which is largely because that's how I established this blog. However, my new default mainverse will be the one I just posted, when Ben defects. I am willing to play canon, but I will be selective. I must mention @ofthclight for being a phenomenal Leia and for enabling me to expand on Ben and not be afraid to run with whatever ideas I have. I will update my doc to reflect this!

[volatilekyber]

FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR

The Last Jedi canon divergent.

After murdering his father, Ben found no solace in the dark side. In fact, the act of killing Han Solo did not bring him the promised sense of peace and understanding, nor did it take away the pain that had been threatening to tear Ben Solo, or what was left of him, asunder. In those final moments with his father, Kylo Ren thought he could kill Ben Solo once and for all. Imagine his agony when it did the complete opposite and only made it clearer that he was nowhere near the end of his suffering. In the time shortly after, Kylo sought solace on his own, and asked again to be counselled by those who had long been lost. Under the impression that Vader, Palpatine in disguise, had spoken to him before, he sought out his grandfather, frantic and guilt ridden. It was not, however, Vader that answered him. It was Anakin Skywalker.

Appearing as a force ghost, the former Jedi master revealed himself to his grandson, the first and only time he had done so. Their encounter was short and to the point, but it made sense of much that had confused young Ben and gave Kylo Ren answers had had been seeking, perhaps without even realizing it. Anakin told Ben everything - about his time as a Jedi, his fear, his love, his fall. About the suffering that he had endured, that the dark side had brought, not only to him, but to those he loved. And he told Ben what Luke had not - that in the final moments of his life, Anakin had chosen to save his son and murder the Emperor, not out of hatred for his master but out of love for the boy he did not ever have a chance to know.

Anakin could not undo all that he had done, or hope to redeem himself in the eyes of the galaxy, but he did stop the horror, and for Luke, that was enough. This was the tale Ben Solo so desperately needed to be told. There was no peace and feeling of being whole in the dark side and he would never be rid of the pain, of the draw of the light because that was in fact, his natural state, and something he would always struggle to suppress, no matter what evils he committed. Kylo Ren died during that conversation. Convinced by his grandfather to go to Rey, he did, and while he kept up the ruse long enough to kill Snoke and free himself from his abuser, he did take Rey's hand, and together they escaped. Ben Solo returned with Rey to be greeted by his mother and the resistance, only a few of whom knew his true story. Finally back where he belonged, Ben and Rey, a dyad in the force, prepared to face the First Order and eventually Palpatine, together.

ft. @ofthclight as Rey and Leia.

[lessthantwelve]

I'll be copy and pasting any replies on my drafts to the new editor! If you're using legacy but want to continue to rp with me (or anyone once Tumblr forces the change) please consider using the new editor as well!