Before I met you I was already intentional. So I became what I was looking for. Love. I was looking for romance, butterflies, intimate moments. I have the journal entries to prove it too. But A relationship. I was already calling it in. And you were the answer. And I waited… a very long time for it to reveal itself, things fall into place. Or out of it, if we weren’t meant. But you stayed, so I stayed. And I still want to stay… but the wheels are falling off. Times with you feel really romantic and suppressing that human side of me that yearns for reciprocation hurts. Hearing you talk about others girls and I’m here like, that what I think about with you. When our hands touch, for a second longer than usual or when we share a look. Or just the consistency we had. It touches a yearning part of my body, and emotions. And I’m torturing myself knowing it’ll never be more. You’ve shown me that. You’ve shown me that you appreciate me but not in that way and it’ll never be that way. And like I said, my intentions are with finding love and romance and not have to supress my emotions when I miss you or just want to kiss you. I tried being a friend but the lines get too blurry specifically with you. We connect too much and and I’ll just be a constant loop of me falling in love and breaking my own heart. You felt like home, but I know I shouldn’t get comfortable bc it’s not my home. And I deserve to have a home in someone. You were right, i should have left before, I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready but I’m able to now.
I want consideration, I think about you everyday for almost a year and if we were in a relationship notice when something is off. Don’t lag so much. I don’t want to talk about other boys or girls.. cause I’m not thinking about them. And if you’re in a relationship with me bringing up other people just makes me think you wanna be with them. But you can’t have both. So I don’t know if I wanna hear it. And we can really make memories so let me into your world, and let’s create a world together. Quality time. Emotional security, i don’t want to have the same problems with you, I want fun and consideration. I don’t like feeling like someones intentions are murky. I want to trust you and be vulnerable with you, if I give you my heart protect it. And think of things from my point of view as well.