Imagine a world where you had to apply to be someone’s prey.
“Why should I eat you?”
You could say you’re delicious, but everyone is delicious! What else could you offer? Belly rubs? I mean, anyone could do that. Being extra filling? Not an uncommon trait to be sure. Well, let’s go back to your flavor, you say. You insist you’re more delicious than the rest, and you want to prove it right now. You shove your hands in your aspiring pred’s mouth. Oh, they seem to have taken quite a liking to you! This is looking quite good for your application! You have a good feeling you’ll be able to fill it out fully now after you pull your arms out now.
Except they’ve gone and started swallowing the rest of you. Oops! I guess you were as delicious as you insisted. I think that loud belch you just heard is the sound of your application being accepted. I hope you’re proud of yourself!
——
But, even cuter to image is the inverse scenario. A person applying to be your pred. You’ve been searching for a few weeks but most preds just don’t quite make the cut. Then along comes this person. They’re so excited to meet you, they’re oozing with enthusiasm. They hand you their application and show you a 20 page powerpoint of how they’re going to eat you and what you’re going to do together while you’re in their stomach.
You’re totally sold on them, but you can’t help but tease them. “Well, I don’t know…” They plead with you, they want to eat you so badly, more than anything else. Please please please. You decide to stop stringing them along, and before you can even finish your acceptance, you’re already halfway down their throat. They gleefully carry you back home, showing you off to all of their friends and neighbors along the way, and you enjoy a nice week of being cared for by someone who adores you.
