in the harder moments of what came to be, when sleep alludes him for another night, jinho could tell you the hours, minutes and seconds since haeun’s hospitalisation. nothing had ever been the same since. he’d imagined himself a life with her — happily married with one kid, a girl of course, and a dog. growing old like they do in the movies; like both of their families. instead, where fields of flowers used to grow, their relationship crumbled beneath their hands into dust. the entirety of their relationship boxed up and shipped to her parents attic, gathering dust just the same. he is unsure if anything could grow there again. haeun’s parents and the doctors too, had offered only kindness in its sincerest form from the get go; he’d never deserved any of it. how are you meant to rebuild your life when you can’t remember what it was before ?
but he can’t be mad, can he ? he’d lost his lover. she’d lost her childhood, everything good that kept her smiling all those years. she’d lost so much more than he could begin to imagine but still he remains bitter in the darker days. their co-workers had warned him it would be hard — they’d all have to un-learn what they knew. no longer were haeun and jinho joined at the hip when their schedules allowed. the couple everyone knew no longer remained. although, not once did that stop him worrying about her getting into the swing of things — he wishes he could help when she needed it most. life had given her such a poor hand despite her soft smile or her kindness.
despite heeding their advice, acting a stranger was never a possibility for jinho. he could try until his heart gave out but it would never sit right in his chest. he hadn’t even meant to hover far too close, only long enough to get a glimpse of the same list. his memory when it came to his work schedule often failed him too. stepping away, he doesn’t mean to catch her, a sigh heaving itself from his chest in quiet surprise when she too catches him. a look — that’s all it takes, for jinho to sink into his feelings, heart tightening in his rib cage; even knowing she feels nothing the same. “ haeun, ” jinho breathes out after a beat, visibly cringing at the formality. “ please, you don’t have to call me that. ” he offers lowly, stealing a second glance up at the sheet. “ you’re working a lot this week. you sure you’re okay? ”
THIS ISN’T HER FAULT and there isn’t a single soul there who acts as if it is. still, haeun feels as if she is letting them down somehow, even if they have all become strangers by now ( she breaks her twin brother’s heart every day, her parents tiptoe around her, and her boyfriend .. the person she supposedly has already planned the rest of her life with .. she can’t even utter his name without hesitation in her tone anymore ). this isn’t her fault and yet she sits with guilt buried in her chest like a second heart.
« sorry, jinho, » haeun softly replies, still so hard for her to let the name roll off of her tongue as if it means anything at all — and she knows, how she knows it’s supposed to mean something. « yes. » the answer is too immediate, too abrupt — even she isn’t dense enough to ignore jinho’s attempts, and she can’t blame him. she has seen the pictures: she has seen her own adoration in her eyes looking up at him as if he put the stars in the sky. she has seen the love she once held for him, as if there would never be one after or next to him, in this life or the next. but love is a foreign concept to the girl now — all haeun knows is life is unjust, and she is unlucky.
she can brush it off there, but she doesn’t. she knows she should at least try. she had loved this man once: with him, she had been more herself than with anyone, that she is sure of. if she wants to become whatever is left of haeun, it starts here, but small talk is painfully foreign to her. « uuuh, jake traced a map of the hospital for me so it’d be easier to get from a to z. at least i know where the kitchen is, right ? » she chuckles humorlessly. « but i’ll be fine, promise. you’ve all been very kind to me. »
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
areudirty
vaporwave
titsay
kaledo-art
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines