what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead. got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and d e e p e r. and i can't take one more moment of this SILENCE.
Ford wasnât sure why his buyer wanted to meet at the library until he got there, having forgotten that the book fair was going on. He wasnât going to stay since he always managed to find his books free online, but with the power outage, he found himself stuck. He was exhausted, the night before ending just after 5 AM when he finally got into his bed to sleep only to be woken up a few hours later. After another haphazard attempt at leaving, he sat at one of the tables, palms pressed to his eyes to soothe the beginnings of his pulsing headache. âIâm too high for this,â he mutters, unaware of the person beside him.
He knew the lie was ridiculous as soon as it slipped past his lips. Usually, he didnât even care to try and lie, but with her standing behind the car and another car practically boxing him in, he couldnât exactly just drive off like he usually did. Ford wasnât sure exactly what this meant for him, if he should leave the car be and make his exit, or continue his plan to get this to the shop downtown and get himself and Asher next monthâs rent. âAlright, look, you donât say a word and I let you drive it,â he says, his intoxicated mind thinking up a half-assed offer. âItâs a Mustang, it goes pretty fast,â he offers with a shrug. âBesides, I know the guy that owns he, heâs a real asshole.â
âYou just gonna stand there or are you gonna join me? Taint your liver with me.â
Ford didnât have to be told twice to take the bottle from her, bringing it to his lips and taking a large swig of the alcohol swirling inside. âSo whatâs the occasion this time?â
âDude, Iâm not drunk,â Ford says, unsure if Mitch was actually even protesting the drink in his hand or not. He was used to some of his friends trying to pull the amber liquid from his hand when he was noticeably swaying, but as far as Ford felt, he was perfectly fine. Heâd been far more wasted just the night previously when heâd acquired the bruise around his eye, most likely from a fight he can barely remember. âThis shitâs like water to me.âÂ
 âMy best friend and I decided to match costumes tonight, but..â The brunette shifted uncomfortably in her spot, fingers subconsciously tugging at the very ends of her skirt while simultaneously adjusting the top before giving and pressing against the cool wall behind her. âI honestly didnât think our Sailor Scout dresses would be exact replicas of the anime version.â Euphieâs sight quietly trails away from her tall blonde company and focuses on Pandora chatting up the bartender in the distance, who seemed to be having no trouble at all with her outfit for the night. Crinkling her nose, the girl focused back on oceanic blue hues and smiled gently. âI like what youâre wearing tonight.â @vshfordÂ
Adjusting his hat and reaching for the undersized bottle of Jack heâd stuffed into his jacket pocket while listening to Euphie, an amused smile spread over his lips. Unscrewing the lid, he took a large swig, trying not to let out a short laugh at the way Euphie was adjusting her costume. No matter what she did, it seemed she couldnât hide the fullness of her figure. âIf you wanna cover up I can loan you the jacket,â he offers, taking another drink of his whiskey. âYou just have to give it back cause I got it off Lana,â he says, offering her the bottle, giving her a small smile at her compliment. âThanks, I put very little effort into it,â he laughs, giving the dangling ribbon of the bow on her chest a light tug. âYou look great though. Definitely the hottest here.â
lips were enclosed around the straw in her drink, as her emerald hues were narrowing in investigative manner at the sight of his costume. â the sole question remaining is whether you actually dressed up or simply tore the first few things from within your closet, â were the soft sounds falling from her lips, drawing out the words in feigned building of tension. â you look like kurt cobain as it is, you donât really need a costume for it â cheating or genius ? one might never find out. â her monologue was topped off by a faint shrug of her shoulders. â no but seriously, how good are you at the kurt cobain voice ? the grunge vibe will never be complete without getting the raspy voice going. â
He couldnât quite tell if he was surprised or not that she knew off the bat who he had dressed up as. Most couldnât figure it out until he outright told them who he was, not that it really bothered him to clarify. âEverything is from my closet, cept for the coat,â he admits with a shrug. Never once had he spent actual money on a costume, and he wasnât about to start now. The most effort he would put in was searching his closet and Asherâs. âIâd like to say itâs a healthy mix of both,â he shrugs, giving her a slight smile. âIâve got many talents, Adala, but unfortunately, impressions arenât one of them,â he says with feigned disappointment.Â
An impatient huff emits from the brunetteâs lips, lowering her beer after taking a generous swig turning to face the person beside her, âTHIS party is a fucking BUST!â Hopping up onto the bar, crossing her legs as she gazed at them with hazel hues, âSo three optionsâŠWe can either A. Make out. B. Sneak into the pool or C. All of the above. The choice. Is. Yours.â Swatting them playfully with her cane before whipping it up and stashing it under her arm.
Ford had been sitting at the bar with Juliet for all of two minutes before she deemed the party a bust, giving him options as to what they should do instead. âWow, what a hard decision,â he says, pretending to be in deep thought about the whole matter before standing up, pocketing his bottle of Jack. âWell, come on then, option C is waiting,â he teases, taking her hand to help her back off the bar.
Having grown bored of the pub, the heat of the room making him drowsy along with the cocktail of pills and alcohol in his system, Ford had made his way out to the parking lot. He wandered through the lanes for a few moments, coming to a stop next to a sleek black Mustang. Humming to himself, he figured it could get him and Asher a pretty penny for the next week or so down at the autoshop by the gym where he worked. And if he took it for a joy ride, who would know? Setting to work in trying to open it, he almost didnât notice the figure by the carâs trunk until he got the door open, standing up straight and meeting the eyes of the redhead before him. âForgot my keys.â
here i am again with another chara! same goes for ford as it went for eden so!!! lets get to his tragic backstory~ like this or hmu if u wanna plot!
tw: death, suicide ideation and attempts, violence, self harm, drug use, family death, murder, drunk driving, depression
ford has attended bernard as a psych student since he was like 19 so heâs not new tbh
heâs got a real thick boston accent that gets even thicker when hes drunk or high (which is like... always) and sometimes itâs very difficult to understand him
he is a the older twin to asher denvers
he comes from a huge irish american family with ridiculous names
aka they all start with âashâ purely for the reason that mon (asherâs mun)Â and i thought it would be funny
he has nine other siblings tbh so A for effort on finding enough ash names i guess
he works as a boxing instructor at the local gym during the day
heâs generally a pretty reckless dude like.... very reckless honestly heâs like MGK in Nerve or Lip in shameless bc heâs basically a genius he just makes stupid decisions
his family has connections to the irish mob because of his father, who worked for them up until he was jailed when his mother was pregnant with him and his brother
they were Bad growing up tbh essentially theyâre a larger Shameless fam set in boston
for some insight hereâs the famâs board: xxx
his aesthetic: bloody knuckles, cigarettes, bruised eyes, split lips, worn out shoes, boxing gloves, shattered windows, graffitiâd buildings, crowbars, half empty liquor bottles, skid marks, stolen cars, golden curls and rose perfume, drive in movies
aaand his board on pinterest: xxx and his board with asher xxx
and here is his full bio xxx and his stats xxx
and with that lets move onto more serious bullet points
ford has untreated depression. itâs mostly untreated because asherâs was more obvious growing up and ford spent most of his time trying to bury his own emotions in order to take care of his brother
when he was fourteen he saw his older sister, Ashlyn, the sibling heâs closest to, get shot. she lived but it was obviously very traumatising
and again when he was 16 he saw his older brother, Ashe, get shot. Ashe unfortunately didnât survive
he tends to cope in very unhealthy, reckless ways, including: stealing and racing cars (usually under some sort of influence), doing cocaine or popping pills, mixing pills and alcohol, getting into fights, putting out cigarettes on his arm (this started as a stupid game with Asher and Ford just kept doing it long after theyâd stopped)
he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the one that people need. when heâs close to someone he tends to put their needs above his own if they let him. itâs a result of his own doing but also his upbringing. as the older twin he was expected to help take care of asher, who struggled with severe depression
when he was seventeen, asher was still untreated and getting worse, and it resulted in him making an attempt on his own life. ford came home from the library almost too late, but was able to help his older brother, Ashton, get him to the hospital in time. the image of his brother like that still haunts and worries him even tho asher has gotten the help he needed
just before coming to bernard ford got into a fight with the boyfriend of a girl he went on a date with back in boston. he was drunk and unaware of the force he was using, and he ended up beating the kid into a coma, later finding out that he had died. Asher is the only person that knows this.
as of right now ford is still untreated for depression, still either unaware or in denial about his own depression, and is too proud to admit that he might need professional help. he has nothing against it as a general practice, but feels that since it hasnât presented itself like Asherâs, that he doesnât have it.
