thinking about how if darry hadnât turned on soda, ponyboy might justve went to his room and cried. bc the thing is he thinks darry is being irrational but he knows how stupid he sounded he sounded saying he forgot (âIt sounded dumb, even to me, when I stammered [âŚ]â)
up until this point, itâs a one sided argument all most. like in the musical i could argue (not very well) that pony eggs darry on the entire argument but in the book i think iâd say heâs more docile (?) meek (?? neither the right word but alas).
âI ran home, trembling at the thought of facing Darry.â
âHe was on his feet in a second. I stood there, chewing on my fingernail.â
ââWhere the heck have you been? Do you know what time it is?" He was madder than I'd seen him in a long time. I shook my head wordlessly.â
âIt sounded dumb, even to me, when I stammered, "I... I went to sleep in the lot...â
âI didn't mean to." I pleaded with Darry.â
and then the most important part to this whole point iâm trying to make
âI felt hot tears of anger and frustration rising. "I said I didn't mean to...â
darryâs been hollering at him the entire time and it took this long for pony to finally get frustrated and angry too and even still. even still pony doesnât yell back. even still pony bites his tongue and lets his words fizzle out. bc it wouldâve been real easy to shout it but he doesnât.
heâs likely mostly frustrated with himself. because yeah ok darrel maybe he hasnât been using his head as much lately, but he doesnât know why. all he knows is that heâs been forgetting things more and more and he does things like fall asleep in the lot with nothing but a sleeveless sweatshirt and hereâs darry yelling like pony did it on purpose. but he didnât do it on purpose he didnât mean to.
and pony gets it, he has been saying that a lot lately. he gets why darry is starting to get upset at the repetitiveness of it; ponyâs probably tired of saying it himself.
despite all this pony wasnât going to engage in the argument until soda spoke up. until soda spoke up and darry shot him down. bc for all intent and purposes, in ponyâs mind that is, soda is one connection to this family. soda is the only hint that the family he knows and love didnât completely leave him eight months ago. bc he hardly recognizes darry and heâs half convinced himself that if not for soda darry would throw him in a home.
so no âno one should ever holler at my brotherâ bc in his mind, in his puberty stricken mind thatâs still grieving his father and older brother, sodas the only real family heâs got left.