alive•ahaha•fuck

q•they/he•latinx•mentally ill inconsistent tags and no trigger warnings block holly.txt to block personal posts side blog to hollysgone

[spill-the-wine]

by: midnight_mortuary - ig

[agayworthfightingfor]

On Dentists

So I can’t brush my teeth. Like, it’s the worst kind of hell. I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and I told the hygienist this, and she was wonderfully helpful.

There are some incredibly soft toothbrushes available- namely, post-surgical brushes. Running them under hot water makes them even softer.

She told me that you don’t really need to use toothpaste- it’s mostly marketing. The foam gets to me, so that is really reassuring.

She gave me two particularly soft brushes and some xylitol gum. Trident is a market brand of xylitol gum, which helps with your teeth and can make your breath smell better.

The whole purpose of brushing is to disrupt plaque buildup. You don’t need to brush twice a day, every day with toothpaste if you brush correctly- little circles, focusing on near the gums (where most plaque builds up). So if you’re having a bad sensory day and can’t brush at all, it’s not the end of the world.

Hell, you don’t even need a toothbrush if even the post-surgical ones are too harsh. Going over your teeth with the same motions using a washcloth is enough.

She wants to find a fluoride rinse that has a taste I can stand (peppermint is the only mint I can stand) but she’s not particularly worried about it.

I go to Dr. Barr in Chicago. If you can get to the State St. Macy’s, his office is nearby. He’s very kind and patient and really understanding of my needs as an autistic person. The hygienist, I don’t know her name, announced everything she was going to do before she did it, and stopped frequently to see how I was doing.

This is really the only positive dentist I’ve ever had- past dentists have been too rough and not bothered to help find ways I can actually brush.

Basically this is a glowing recommendation for Dr. Barr’s office if you’re autistic, afraid of dentists, or have sensory needs. This is a recommendation even if you don’t have any of those things.

[huhnerkopf]

Im actually crying i feel like this post was reblogged for me oh my god oh my god oh my lord thank you

[lascapigliata]

You can also dilute your mouthwash and use it to swish around if it burns. My dentist does this so consider it dentally approved

[spoonie-living]

If you were feeling guilty about your brushing habits, either due to sensory issues, pain, allergies, executive dysfunction, or just plain fatigue, here’s what you need to know about what is and isn’t necessary if your dental care!

[charismat1c-megafauna]

Post-covid, I got really horrible shit going on with my gag reflex where for some reason the mint flavor of toothpaste (and only toothpaste) would make me gag so hard that I’d throw up. Then I found a kids toothpaste that’s like strawberry flavored or something, but it has the proper adult amount of flouride, so it works for me and I don’t gag much anymore. Here’s an article with some options if you’re like me lol

Best Non-Mint Toothpaste For Adults — Dr. Gemma Wheeler

Dr. Gemma Wheeler lists best non-mint toothpaste options for adults. The list includes those that are truly non mint, without oils or aromas

Also for the people who can’t stand foam, the ingredient you’re looking to avoid is called SLS.

[bisexualbaker]

I share this frequently, but I had a very difficult time making myself floss because I hated the way that standard floss digs into my fingers when I use it. I switched to floss picks, and boom: A hated activity instantly became entirely neutral. Much easier to convince myself to do! If you have the same problem with standard floss, this might be worth a try.

Also, my most recent trip to the dentist, I was told that xylitol is a very effective treatment for dry mouth! And also that dry mouth is bad for your teeth, because it can disrupt the PH balance in your mouth, making your teeth more susceptible to cavities. While you want to be very careful to keep any xylitol products away from dogs in particular and probably pets in general, if you have dry mouth, you can try checking for products with xylitol in them.

[bisexualbaker]

Of note: My brother endorses the OraNusre brand of flavorless toothpaste; he says it “tastes like toothbrush”. My mom, meanwhile, is a fan of the Hello brand, which comes in different fruity and sweet flavors. Both of these are listed at the non-mint toothpaste link above.

If you prefer a toothpaste or a mouthwash for dry mouth, I use Biotène; it’s not cheap, but brushing once a day with it, a tube of Biotène toothpaste lasts me around four to five months. As far as I’m aware, it’s only in mint flavor.

[phoenixyfriend]

Brush your teeth.

If there is ONE PIECE of hygiene you can do, one rote activity that you can muster the spoons for in the evening, make it your teeth.

Shower? You can skip a shower for one night and just wipe yourself down with a damp towel. Brush your teeth.

Skincare? You can pare down the steps, and your skin can heal from a bit of acne. Enamel can't. Brush your teeth.

Brushing your hair? Fuck it, get a buzz cut! Get a protective style! Your hair will grow back, but your teeth won't! Brush your teeth.

Flossing would be good. Mouthwash would be good. But if you can muster up the energy for just one task, brush your teeth.

And if you can't even manage that, chew some sugar-free gum. If nothing else, it will scrub away a bit of the bacteria and catch some stray food that's loose enough to get with the sticky stuff.

But your enamel doesn't grow back and cavities are a bitch.

(I once had seventeen, during my senior(?) year of college. I know. I know. I have been there. The dentistry was hell. Still is; I consider myself lucky if I have less than three fillings that need repair, and a miracle when it's none. I am not talking at you from my high horse: I am a crab in the bucket with you, but I'm trying to pull you out with me.)

Today, I told my sister to prioritize teeth over skincare because skin heals and enamel doesn't, and she said "really?"

So yeah, this is the PSA: really. Your enamel doesn't grow back.*

Brush your teeth.

* No, the Alzheimer's drug isn't relevant here.

[phoenixyfriend]

No! Remineralizing toothpaste/gum can REINFORCE enamel that is WEAKENED but still present. You can strengthen enamel that has been damaged so long as it is still there.

The issue is that once it's gone, it's GONE.

Kind of the inverse of your hair: if you fry your hair dead with bleach, you can't fix it, but it'll grow back with time.

Enamel, you can fix, but it CANNOT grow back.

[oobbbear]

I drew this stupid burger I saw that brings me comfort and joy

[auschizm]

Instead of "but that's not real", you should try responding to a psychotic persons distress with:

That sounds really scary. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine how scared I'd be if it was me.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it can't be easy to open up about it, and I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me

You can tell me more about it if you want to. I promise not to judge you, invalidate you or panic

Is there anything I can do to help you feel safer? Any way I can help support you through this?

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

There’s something so uniquely terrifying about memory issues. I feel like my self is slipping away from me.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Here’s the thing I feel like a lot of folks don’t get: I’m not trying to forget what you said. Honestly, I really tried not to. I can’t control what I do and don’t remember—forgetting things just happens. It’s annoying for you, I know, but for me it’s distressing as hell and when you make a big deal out of it rather than just reminding me you make me feel ashamed. I’ll remember that, at least.

It costs you nothing to be kind to people with memory problems. Please. It’s scary enough without people treating memory lapses as a personal failing.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Hey, reblog this version instead, please!

[creature-lala]

I still really like these two pieces I made when my brain was acting up a few months back.

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

up at 3am googling how do i break out of a repetitive cycle that both comforts and harms me

[rowanisawriter]

You can survive your childhood and escape the horror of your parents by creating and existing solely in a rich inner world in which you contain all your thoughts and feelings and this will not have any effect on your relationships as an adult

[juniper-petunia]

they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

[averagefairy]

wishing everyone a very good luck getting through january-march without killing yourself

[averagefairy]

once again wishing everyone a very pleasant please don’t kill yourself

[eldritchbauble]

Your parents can love you and still be shitty abusive parents. They can mean well and still fuck up. They might fuck up without even knowing it's abuse.

Sometimes I think about how, when I was 5, my dad would make grilled cheese sandwiches and cut them into dinosaur shapes for me. Other times when I was hungry, he would refuse to feed me at all, because he decided that 5 was old enough for me to cook for myself when he didn't feel like doing it.

I think about how he taught me to swim, and fish, and (yes) throw a ball. In the summer, at night, he would wrap me in a huge comforter and carry me around outside to show me the constellations. But I hated being left alone with him because he was often bad tempered, mean to me for no reason, and I couldn't count on him for basic things like food.

Sometimes I think about how my mom raised hell in my high school principal's office in front of multiple faculty members because they weren't complying with my IEP (disability required accommodations). She always saw red if someone else laid a finger on me, even figuratively. When we were at home she screamed at me for things I had no control over and said I was using my illness to get my way.

I think about how she bought me art supplies and paid for lessons for all of my hobbies. She attended every single concert, performance, and game. I don't think I went a day without being told she loved me while growing up, and she constantly told me how proud she was. But I could never trust her mood and she could go from loving mother to terrorizing me before I knew what was happening.

My parents love me but I still flinch if someone in my vicinity washes a dish a little too aggressively. My parents never intentionally traumatized me, but my nervous system never knew the difference. Neither of my parents saw anything they did as abuse; they believed they were good parents. It wasn't until my mom was in her mid 60s that she grasped that her own childhood had been abusive, too.

They're not bad, irredeemable people. They're complex people with a lot of their own trauma who lacked many skills necessary for good parenting. I could hate them for it, but I don't. I'm not obligated to forgive them, and I don't think I have, and I don't know whether I ever really will. My parents damaged me a lot in ways that have affected my whole life, and I still have good memories with them.

[marzipanandminutiae]

THIS

it's so easy for people to say "just cut them off; just go no-contact." and for some people that is the best course. I both grieve for those people, because things got that bad, and on some level part of me is a bit jealous. not of what they went through- god, never; I wouldn't minimize it in any way -but of the simplicity of the answer

what do you do if you love someone, if you have good memories with them and are still making more, but they hurt you like that?

it's not a puzzle with an easy solution

[transgenderization]

sorry for ignoring you ive been going insane

[gloombby]

[llatimeria]

having the ability to stop, slow down, and think "wait, is there any physical reasons I feel bad actually?" is probably one of the most important skills one can have as a mentally ill/neurodivergent person or really just as a human being existing in the world in general

[llatimeria]

I'd always felt like those "stop! are you hungry? have you had enough water? etc etc..." posts from a few years ago were helpful but sometimes condescending because I really didn't realize how much some people with emotionally negligent parents just were not taught those skills. It can come off as dismissive to be like "you're actually just hungry" when someone's upset but ... There are a nontrivial number of people in this world who cannot function normally when they're hungry and don't even realize that's what's causing it.

Anyways if you're sad and reading this go have a snack. Even if you have a real problem beyond being hungry you're not gonna solve it on an empty stomach anyway so just go have a snack. it won't hurt

[askclint]

Tip from a licensed psychologist: just remember HALT!

Ask yourself, “am I…”:

Hungry?

Angry/annoyed?

Lonely?

Tired?

[bioethicists]

i'm just thinking abt how many providers i've had who heard my story abt psychiatric abuse + immediately individualized it. "oh, you're so smart + kind+ obviously sane! you didn't deserve that! i can't believe they gave you that diagnosis when you're obviously not like that! they shouldn't have treated u like that when all you did was xyz! they shouldn't have assumed you were crazy like that!"

there is always a third person haunting this interaction- the patient who does deserve that, who is "actually" that evilscary diagnosis, who did Have To be treated like that. if i want to soak up the affirmations of these providers, i must be careful to never become this third person. i must affirm myself by setting myself apart from her- i did not deserve to be treated like that because i am not like that.

i reject this. not only was i like that, she + everyone else like that deserve everything i deserve. they are my siblings + my friends + my lovers. i do not need to cut them out of me to believe i deserved better. i refuse to comfort myself through the lens of someone else's dehumanization. the tragedy is not that psychiatric violence was applied to someone who not insane enough to warrant it. the tragedy is the violence.

[jmfenner91]

Wanted to do something with ink on paper today.