Why I Ran 100 Miles
It honestly has been such a journey to just process this last weekend. Whenever I sit down to write a bit, my throat closes up, my eyes get all watery and I am just overwhelmed with emotions. Nearly all positive emotions. Gratitude? Off the charts. Joy? Off the charts. God is so good. I have my “What I Learned” section first to spare you from reading to whole recap of the race if you don’t want to but if you want to I will rewind to late last week and then roll briefly through the race below in the “Race Recap” section. As always, writing is therapeutic to me so this is really only meant to help me process what just happened but if it’s enjoyable for you to read as well then two birds stoned at once is always better than one stoned alone. I think thats how the saying goes..?
What I Learned
I learned so much about myself in this process. I love love love the idea that small daily decisions can allow you to do things you think are impossible. I am deeper convinced that you should take time to commit to something but when you do, go all in. When I committed to this race, I gave up jobs, relationships, fun nights etc. to chase this dream. It was a selfish decision. I don’t think that it was selfish in a bad way to make that choice, however, knowing what I gave up to be here, I want to be able to focus time into those things. Into a career, relationships, fun nights. Those are all really good things. They had to take a side or back seat for a little to accomplish this dream, but that’s okay. I think it would be selfish for me, just for me, not speaking for anyone else, but for me to continue to train as hard as I did. I am so excited to be able to focus time into other things but I learned that small daily decisions will change your life. Thats true for time with God in his word, time with friends in conversation, and running. That can be true for you if you want to learn guitar, or skateboarding, enjoy a great marriage or whatever. Make small decisions every day that get you closer to that dream.
I learned I can do really hard things. Training was really hard. 100k was really hard. 100 miles was really hard. Waking up early for workouts was really hard. Giving up a lot of fun things was really hard. BUT, in all the hard, that is where I can find out who I really am. Who are you when things are hard? It is easy to define yourself when life is easy, but when your back is up against the wall, do you give up? When you’re 19 hours into a 100 mile race, do you give up? When you take that cold shower, do you give up after 5 seconds? When you say you want to wakeup early, but the snooze is right there, what do you do? Doing hard things forces you to grow. I want to be a better version of myself. For those around me, for God, for myself. Doing hard things gives you the space to say “This is who I am when things are hard. I am someone who will not give up”. It allows you to handle the hard better.
I learned that people have a deep desire to also do hard things and since you are doing something hard, they want to talk about it. I have had so many awesome conversations with people about the why, about training, about goals and dreams and about how we can get to that goal. It fired me up so much to hear some people sign up for a half-marathon, or a walking challenge because they saw me do this race. We all can do hard things, and you will be so glad you did.
You ask what’s next? I do not have any races planned. I just accepted a new job that I am THRILLED about. I am excited to focus some time into that. I am excited for new and old relationships to continue to develop. I am excited about where God has me and is taking me. God has been so so good to me. In the pain and suffering, I felt God, In the highest of highs, I felt God. I am thankful to have so many people who help me focus my gaze on his feet, not mine. Praise you, God.
More than anything, I am so grateful for this experience. It has been one of the coolest journeys in my life. Truly.
The race recap is below. I separated it from this stuff because I know it might be tedious to ready through. I do think it’s a fairly good insight to my brain throughout the day if you have some time to read it and want to but wanted to get these things at you first. A little different of a blog from your boy, but nonetheless a joy to process this with you. Thank you for reading and if you did, shoot me a text with your favorite part. 7192319006.
I love you. I swear.
Race Recap
For almost the entirety of the year, August 19th seemed so far away. Even when we started getting to about a month out, it felt like it was a date that didn’t even exist. It wasn’t until Wednesday, August 16th, that it started to feel real for me. The nerves started to ramp up. The week running wise had been super slow so the body was starting to feel healed up and ready to go. I had just gone up to Leadville to be there through the weekend and was sleeping in a new place around Alec and his crew getting ready for the race as well. The magic of Leadville started to really take a hold of me. We were in one of the most beautiful places, the highest incorporated city in North America, about to spend a day or more exploring the forest with our feet. I surprisingly slept fairly well the night before the race. With a 2:00am wakeup call, I was in bed at 7:30pm and got some decent shut eye. Waking up a half hour before my alarm, I couldn’t dream of those eyes shutting again so the day officially starts at 1:30am. I got up, got my breakfast made (my classic smoothie and some cinnamon rolls) and started to wake the body up. I had a great rollout session, some good stretching and muscle activation and all of a sudden the house was bustling with everyone else waking up and getting ready to head to the start. The energy was hard to control, but I had some tunes rolling, was trying to just remain super chilled out as we headed out the door. No need to let the emotions go crazy yet, it’s going to be a long day. Justin, Jenny and myself hopped in a car and got going to the start line. Jenny and I hopped out close to the start and Justin went to park the car. We had plenty of time after getting my pre-run stretch routine done and just about then we bumped into Alec and the three of us sat on a bench for a bit just trying to relax before we headed into the starting corral. It got close to 3:45a, we got out last little bit of pee out and headed to the start.
Alec and I gave each other our best, a good hug, and then we were off on our own ways. I got into the corral and started making my way up the group a little bit. The first section bottlenecks down to a single track trail about 5 miles into the race so I wanted to stage myself a bit to avoid getting stuck behind a slower group (make no mistake, I was still running slow, some groups just really take their time). Gave a couple people around me a fist bump and probably a really lame joke and then boom. The gun goes off and we are running. I didn’t have my headlamp on because so many people around me did and it was so fun to just take in the start. It’s the most congested the race ever is and I wanted to enjoy being around a bunch of other “crazy” people before we all get spread out. The first 3ish miles are all on a dirt road with a slight decline. And boy oh boy were people running really fricken fast. Guys mostly would hop off the road on either side and let out a little more liquid. I did the same. It’s wild how much was in my system at the start because 15 minutes after my first leak I had to go again. So grateful that process is a little easier for us gentlemen but there were some bold women out there as well. Ha. I ran a bit right behind Adam Klink from BPN which was fun but really just started settling into what would be a long day. I was behind a group starting around the single track trail around Turquoise Lake and the leader took us off trail briefly. We all panicked and tried to find the pink trail markers again which were very close by, thank the Lord. This was the first rhythm finding of the day. We just trucked along at an easy pace around the lake knowing the easiest part of the race was done. It was still dark but the sky started turning that not black pitch of blue that early morning risers see. We got out of the trail and onto the pavement and I knew I would be able to ditch the headlamp as we were getting more and more light every second it seemed.
I made my way up through the Mayqueen campground and then saw the mass of people. I found Mike, Chris and Kyle relatively fast. We walked through the lines of people exchanging water bottles, restocking on food, getting a pop tart down and then I was off. That aid station went super fast. I got onto the Colorado Trail and started finding the rhythm again. Some really bold guy decided to hop 5 FEET off trail and go number 2. I laughed a bit but as I passed him and took a whiff of the most foul number 2 smell I can describe, my laughs turned to gagging really quick. That gagging turned into my first expulsion from my body for the day. “Great” I thought. I felt much better after that but was slightly bummed my first throw up came so early in the day. We got out of the trees and onto the Hagerman pass road, trucked along that for a bit before turning up the 4x4 road up Sugarloaf pass. Ran most of that before turning on the power hike for the slightly steeper sections. Got to the top relatively quick and then cruised down the Powerline side. That run down was really fun. Was ripping and just having a great time. Turned onto the pavement, got into another groove and started being able to see the Outward Bound aid station. The cars park there in the dirt so there was this huge plume of dirt in the air in the distance. Made for a pretty cool sight and was easy to distinguish how much further to go until we got there.
Pulled in, found Tom and Chris and started walking towards the rest of our crew. So many people were using my name telling me good luck and I had no idea how they knew what my names was. Then I look to my left and my cousin Tom is holding a huge sign that just says KEVIN on it in all caps. Love that guy. I saw Michael and Alexis and my Mom and Dad for the first time which was a boost. We changed into a t-shirt for the hotter part of the day, got sunscreen and sunglasses on, ate an english muffin with honey and got out of there. I can’t begin to tell you how great everyone on my crew did. They CRUSHED. I found a guy that I had run some of Powerline down with and just got on his feet and trucked along with him for a bit. I knew getting into a rhythm on this section would be a great idea to bank some time. I came to find out he had raced this race 6 times before. I knew I was in good company so I asked if I could just hang on him for a bit and he said yes. We cruised all the way to Pipeline where he dropped off to get some aid from his crew. I skipped this crew aid station and opted to just stay in the rhythm. I started getting low on water but knew the Halfpipe aid station would be coming up soon so I wasn’t too worried. I thought I knew where the aid station was going to be and I came up on another aid station earlier than expected. Not knowing if this was Halfpipe, and not asking either like a weenie, I only filled one of my bottles and kept going thinking I would hit another one pretty soon. I sure did not. Even the fluids only aid station had not been set up yet. I hit my first little bit of concern for the day being dry on fluids for 40 or so minutes heading into Twin Lakes.
I got into Twin and made my way down to where my crew was. Another relatively quick aid station, I attempted to get some pickle juice down as a preventative measure against cramping which had not been a problem yet and just couldn’t get it to go down. Bleh. The stuff my mom bought was SO STRONG. Ew. No good. Ate a nutella sandwich, restocked gels, waffles and liquids, more sunscreen and I was off again. Saw Al’s crew cheering which gave me a boost and headed for the river. Did the river crossing which felt SO GOOD. Freezing water flowing over tired feet was dreamy. Left there and got into the trees to start the first climb over Hope Pass. Settled into a good groove of power hiking and just turned the brain off and went to work. I thought I might use music or podcasts at this point but I forgot to ask for my headphones in Twin Lakes and I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn around to go get them. Finally started reaching the meadows in the basin just below the pass, saw the llamas who brought the aid station supplies up. Gave them a nod and a thank you and got fluids refilled at the aid station there, made the final push to the summit and then flew down the back of Hope. About halfway down was when I passed JP, the guy in first place, who at that point was probably 8ish miles ahead. CRUISING. Dude looked good. Made it into Winfield with the intention of not sitting down and spending as little time as possible there. Got some DELICIOUS watermelon, turned and burned.
Making the way back to Hope Pass for round two and I ran into Alec. So fun to see him and see him crushing. Quick little boost from that and seeing another friend from an earlier race in the year, I got to the climb and knew it was going to be a grind. This was probably the hardest physical part of the race. The backside of Hope is really fricken steep. The kind of steep where your heels don’t touch the ground very much as you ascend. Another settle into a groove and grind time. What felt like forever was finally over as we got to the top and started descending first to the Hopeless aid station and then to Twin Lakes. This was when I started feeling pretty lonely out there. There weren't many people around me and I would pass a few hikers every 15 minutes or so. I could tell I was starting to get to the point where I needed someone to run with. Crossed the river again which was incredible. Splashed some water on my face and got into a trot to Twin Lakes. Connected with Tom before the aid station to let him know what I wanted. Fun story about a DNF (did not finish) fakeout that threw everyone in my crew and spectators for a loop later. This aid station was my longest and it was planned that way. I did a full change of clothes, a baby wipe shower, talked with my coach briefly on the phone (shoutout Morgan Murri. Such a legend) brushed my teeth and ate a hamburger and slammed some Redbull. My first real caffeine for the day. I felt like a new man leaving that aid station. Justin Makkay hopped on the train and I was finally not alone.
We climbed out of Twin and got to the top before getting into a decent groove back to Outward Bound. The sunset between Twin and Outward Bound and was gorgeous. Such a joy and another quick boost of energy just soaking in God’s beauty. Golden hour was such a highlight. We turned our headlamps on and I knew that now that the sun was gone, it’s game on. This is where we really turn the work on because one of the dreams was to chase the sun and beat it up. I didn’t want to refresher on the second day that the sun coming up gives you. I wanted to be done before that. We got to Pipeline and saw a few people, quick refresh before heading to OB. We had a pretty good rhythm all the way to Outward Bound. Another round of eating and refreshing before the second to last segment. As I was heading out of OB, I heard some voices yelling my name. I saw my Noah’s crew for the first time and oh man did that give be a BIG boost. Some of them earlier in the week told me they were going to come see me in Twin Lakes. When I went through TL and left without seeing them I was pretty bummed thinking I wouldn’t see any of them the rest of the race. When I saw them at Outward Bound I was so stinking happy. It was such a surprise and filled my cup quite a bit. I am sorry to whoever’s jacket I got Nutella on during our group hug.. I thought about that way too much haha.
Leaving OB with a full cup, I threw some of that cup up. Just liquids so we were all good. Justin and I started the Powerline climb and were doing great for a while. Then all of a sudden I am puking my brains out. Justin and I both whisper some profanities knowing it was more than just liquid in this one. We both knew I needed to eat something soon which gratefully Space Camp aid station was coming up. That climb was mentally really hard especially after yucking up everything. Fought some demons for sure and was deep in the pain cave. This was when I started wanting it all to be over. We had a little less than 5 hours to go and all I wanted was for it do be done. I probably could have done a better job framing this in my head, but lessons learned. Justin shared some great stoic wisdom here that “the only way is through” and “you will love the person on the other side if you keep going but will despise the person on the other side if you give up”. We finally made our way into Mayqueen, the last aid station, and my buddy Chris asks me what I need. I had been prepping for this moment. “For this to be over”. This was the first time my crew saw me not in the best mood. It was the first time for me coming into an aid station that I wasn’t excited. I wanted to get the heck out of there and be done knowing still we had 3+ hours to go. At this point I knew we were good for a sub-25 finish. Sub-24 was the question and I had a hilarious thought. If I go sub-24, I can’t tell anyone I have run for 24 hours before. What a dumb thing to think but I think it settled my brain a little to take some pressure off and not feel like we had to dive deeper and deeper into the cave just to go sub-24. The goal from the start was sub-25 and we had plenty of time to make that happen.
I picked up Jenny, my pacer for the last section, and we headed off into the single track. She kept trying to get me to run which I appreciated but was struggling to do. We got to the last big long road climb and decided to power hike at a good pace til the end. It was kind of cool because that whole road was lined with these big signs of all the previous years winners. Starting in 1983 and culminating in 2022. At about the 2002 sign, I was sick of seeing them. It felt like we still had so long to go. We turned onto 6th street and got to the top of the hill before turning the gas on for one last push. I knew this would be an emotional time and I had every intention of soaking it all in. I started struggling to breathe, tears started flowing. I heard everyone yelling and boy did the reflection start. Just thinking about all the work put in, all the time invested from myself and other people, the things sacrificed to be here. The fun nights that everyone at Noah's got to enjoy while I was in bed getting ready for an early workout the next day. It all was flashing in front of my eyes and I was a wreck. One of the best moments in my life. I saw an even bigger crowd of Noah's people, I saw my crew, and we all headed into the finish line together. What a treat it was to cross the line with them. This was such a team effort and I really do believe I had one of the best crews out there. Everyone handled their role so so well. My pacers were so encouraging and joyful to be around. The whole day was a treat. I got my finisher medal, hugged Merilee and Ken, and got my BIG BUCKLE! LFG! Got to hug all my people and get pictures with everyone. My heart was so full and my legs were so empty. Such a fascinating experience. Final time of 24:15:03 good for 58/826.
From there we headed back to the house. Showered and chatted a bit about the day. This is when I found out about the DNF scare. I guess right before I got into Twin Lakes Inbound, the website updated and said I DNF’d. My crews hearts dropped and the concern skyrocketed. It didn’t really make sense because I was heading down Hope pass towards Twin Lakes so to DNF in that section didn’t make any sense unless I had a nasty injury and maybe was getting airlifted or stretchered down (which aren’t really options). My cousin Tom meeting me so far before the aid station was to get eyes on me and make sure I was okay. He had a car ready if I needed to go to the hospital. He called the crew and let them know I was all good. I saw some texts after the race with condolences because they thought I dropped out. Praise God that didn’t happen because I would dread having to go back to do it again. I didn’t see my Noahs crew at Twin because they thought I had dropped out. The whole situation was comical. My crew made the choice not to tell me anything about that situation until after the race which was a good idea. I guess it was just an input error and 391 dropped, not me, 392.
After sharing some funny stories from the day, we headed back to the finish line to watch Alec cross. What a freaking champ dude. Being on his crew last year and us collectively coming up short was such a bummer. I was so stoked to see him cross that finish line. We have trained a bunch together and had so many conversations about this race and how we have grown in its process. Way to go, Alec. So dang proud of you.
Mike, Jenny, Chris, Kyle and I went to breakfast. Slammed some delicious food before heading back to the finish line to watch the last hour. That last hour is such an inspiring thing. These people have suffered for so long, eaten so many gels and other disgusting things and even had the pressure of chasing cut-off times at previous aid stations all day. I cannot imagine what that is like to the brain. Needless to say, the last hour is an inspiring thing to see. I loved seeing people soak up the moment and let go of their emotions. What a human experience.
We then headed back to the house, packed up, headed back to BV and slammed some pizza before passing out for a nap. 3.5 hours later, woke up, ate some dinner, passed out again for sleep.
Since Sunday, I have been feeling exponentially better every day. I am still getting back to 100% and full expect that to take some time to get to. I am catching up on sleep, calories, rest and silence and solitude. I am cherishing these moments as some of the best in my life. God is good.
Shoutouts here to:
Jenny Ryan and Justin Makkay - Pacers, long hours spent running together, encouragement
Mom and Dad - Food King and Queen, supporting me through this whole thing
Mike Bacciarini - Checklist Chief, book club dawg and processing training and life with me
Kyle Shiller - Timing Emperor, book club dawg and processing training and life with me
Chris Grall - Fluids Commander, been at all my big races. Loyalty
Tom Warren - Vest Manager, a dude I look up to a bunch
Michael and Alexis Rhodes - Doing whatever was needed, your friendship
My Noah’s Fam - True Inspirations and some of the kindest people ever
Rob Williams and Daniel Carr - For a job while training and letting me be back in one of my favorite places ever
Coach Morgan Murri - The one who knows my training the most and has hit me with encouragement exactly when I needed it, pushed me when I need it, and gave me so much amazing insight into the crazy sport of Ultra Running
Literally everyone I know - For being so dang supportive of this crazy dream. Couldn’t do it without my tribe.
Words cannot describe my gratitude to all of you. This dream was a team effort and you are my team. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU