Interview Vampire Daily

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@waiting-t0-be-fre3
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
#huge dicks are like communism
why am i reblogging this
As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*
hermetically sealed shame basket
communist dicks
this post is gold
i actually like asshole couples best like the couples that pick on each other so much and call each other names but it’s okay because you know they’re actually totally in love and none of it is meant in a mean way and every insult is punctuated by a sweet comment to remind the other how much they actually adore them and i’m sorry but there isn’t anything cuter ok
Oh this is so good!
I’m gonna reblog this a million times.
First rule of Weed Club: Always talk about Weed club. Make sure everyone know how much you smoke weed. Here’s your complementary weed socks and weed beanie.
Me on a date: fuck, i forgot my purse!!
Them: thats ok, i’ll pay for you
Me shoving bread sticks down my shirt: you dont understand!
this meme is getting out of control
Greek Mythology/Roman Empire on tumblr
You don’t know how much someone is worth to you
until you sell them
me: it’s ok i’m not mad me 5 mins later: actually? you can go to hell
My girl not allowed to eat honey nut cheerios. What the fuck she tryna do? Lower her cholesterol, live longer than me and find another nigga? Shiiiitt.
person: what do you want to be when you grow up?
me: worshipped
Purple Dragon Auto Flower
In class our teacher held up a black book and was like “this book is red” and we were all like “no” and he said “yes it is” and we were just all like “that’s not right” and he turned it around and the back cover was red and he said “don’t tell somebody they’re wrong until you’ve seen things from their point of view”
that spoke to me
Perspective is everything.
*stands outside Harvard waiting for cute nerdy potential billionaires*