Things Are Hard

Crippling 20s, am I right?

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I’ve been having a hard time, but I’m trying to be present and live in each moment. But it’s hard, and I’m still struggling. But that’s okay.

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Falling.

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This summer has been so many highs and lows emotionally. Sometimes I feel hopeful for things and like I’ve come far, other times I feel like how is this where I ended up? Idk it’s weird.

Anyways, this sunset was beautiful and things looked up in this moment so wanted to capture it :)

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Thinking about how BTS literally got me through the last 2 years, and how I discovered then RANDOMLY after a run episode came up on YouTube. Crazy how people you don’t even know can feel like friends of some sort.

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Renewing rain. I love when it rains heavily, I feel light for some reason.

Anyways I’m feeling refreshed and a bit better now. Things are still not where I wish they were…but I don’t feel as hopeless about it. Hoping for more renewing rain.

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A journal promt for the day (from previous post)

steps forward you've taken in the last week/month/year (IT IS OK IF THEY ARE SMALL)

Surviving first year of grad school, and not dropping out, even though I really came close several times.

[sapphicacademic]

introspective journal prompts (with some mental health sprinkled in)

I tried to make these mostly positive, but life isn't always positive.

list ways to be kind to yourself

a moment a stranger changed your life that they didn't realize

small things in the world that are beautiful

steps forward you've taken in the last week/month/year (IT IS OK IF THEY ARE SMALL)

10 things you love about yourself

10 things you look forward to

hard questions to ask yourself

what moment in time would you go back to over and over?

what really just pisses you off right now? get it out.

the soundtrack to your life right now

something you know, something you want to know, something you have learned

draw yourself, label all the parts you love.

what is something you know is harming you but still keep around? don't feel guilty, just acknowledge it and be gentle with yourself

write a dialogue with your younger self, or a letter to them

is this what you thought your five year plan would look like five years ago?

roadmap to how you got here

pick something that makes you happy; now write a recipe for it like you're baking a cake

[dumblr]

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I’ve been writing again! Inspo for my current work. I remember playing wirh daisies as a kid. I haven’t seen one in a longgg time. Things were so easy then (obviously didn’t feel like it at the time though lol).

What I listened to today!

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Cried in the car in the McDonald drive through today, then realized I was being a little dramatic lol. Anyways I ate and then felt a bit better.

I was actually reproductive after the breakdown. Got a lot of work done!

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Love me like water

[soporificsedatives-deactivated2]

Georges Bataille

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I used to blog a lot funny enough. I was sad then too lol. I guess it’s a theme. I went hiking this weekend. It was so tiring, but also kind of nice. Pic or it didn’t happen

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Why is it so hard to connect with people? I don’t think I’ve always struggled with it but now in my twenties I have such a hard time with it. It always feels like there’s nothing genuine there, or like I’m forcing it? Idk

Anyways, another song that feels like me right now.

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I have no one to vent to, so I guess the internet it is. Things are hard. And I know it’s temporary, but for now Damn, it’s hard. Anyways, I’ve been watching old Run BTS episodes and deep diving on Twitter, somehow it makes me feel better and worse? Thought I’d listen to some music, I’ve been loving zero o’clock again so, here it is.