You said we have to break up yet you were the one to cry.
We slept together, cuddled up, like everything was okay, like we weren’t broken.
I couldn’t sleep, it felt like my heart wanted to escape, leave my chest and never come back.
You couldn’t sleep either.
You held me so close I didn’t know where I ended and where you began, yet you sill whispered ‘come closer’ in my ear.
I had the saddest sex of my life, I felt like I was going to die, yet when you kissed me, I felt like I would live forever.
You kissed and held me like you were drowning but still wanted to survive and fight for your life.
‘We shouldn’t have’, you said.
You were probably right.
In the morning, you kissed me and I was so weak, I was so small.
'I can’t not kiss kiss you’, you said.
'Then do’, I said.
We both know that we can’t live without each other, that we had always found our way back together.
'Let’s give us another chance’, I said.
'Later, we will’, you said.
And I don’t know when that later will come but I know that I will wait.
Others will say I’m pathetic and I should learn to let go.
But how am I supposed to let go of you?
You are the love of my life.
And I like to believe that I am yours, too.
If you showed up at my door 10 years from now, I would still let you in.
I can’t imagine my life without you.
I don’t want to.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I know you love me, too.
We will meet again, when we are better for each other, when the time is right.
We will figure it out.
We are so fucking special.
