Mello, Matt & Near

just a blog of incorrect quotes for Matt, Mello and Near

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: They be gobbling on my ricknis till I morty on they face

Mello: fucking WHAT???

Near: I literally have no idea how to respond to that

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Mello: I ran into Near in the kitchen at 1 AM last night and when I asked them what they were doing, they just shrugged, said “these are my roaming hours,” and wandered off, fidgeting with a small toy robot.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: We have a problem.

Mello: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: God, I love Pokemon.

Mello: Digimon is better.

Matt: You come into MY house and FUCK my wife! *Points to Near*

Near: Leave me out of this.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: Welcome to the bone zone!

Near:

Mello: stop calling our bedroom that...

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Person: so how do you treat your partner?

Matt: oh well, my partner is very fond of plushies but not so much physical touch so I tend to shower them in toys. My girlfriend is a different story....

Person: Oh?

Matt: you ever had a cat?

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Near: Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Matt: Of course! I'd put you in a nice box full of really good dirt!

Mello: squish.

Near and Matt: :'0

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

News: This man is a dangerous criminal-

Mello: They can't even get my pronouns right! The fucking disrespect!

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Near: Mello isn’t answering my messages.

Matt: Allow me.

Near: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Mello: *replying to message* Hello.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Mello way.

Near: Isn't that the wrong way?

Matt: Yes, but it's faster.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Mello: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?

Matt: What? No, I—

Near: *enters room*

Mello: *jaw clenches*

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?

Near: Please don’t get arrested.

Matt: No promises! <3

Mello: Why not both? Get creative!

Matt: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.

Near: Please don’t encourage him, Mello.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Near: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Matt: Yeah-

Mello: *kicks in the door*

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Near: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul!

Mello: Why is Matt's a monster?

Matt: Near, you forgot Mello's! Its only an empty space!

Near, proudly: Exactly.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Matt (brainstorming ideas for pranking Near): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost?

Mello: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful.

Matt: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?

Mello: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Matt.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Near: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Mello: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Matt: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Mello: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

[wammykidsincorrectquotes]

Mello: *pitches an idea*

Near, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Matt, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.