Wampus Bitch

ISTJ | F | XXI | Slytherin | Wampus | Wolfstar | Jily | Drarry

[devanofficial]

Hermione: Do you see this? This is my ‘I don’t care’ face

Draco: That’s your normal face.

Hermione: Gee, I wonder why.

[fanonical]

what if you were a muggle who went to primary school with harry potter

like, maybe you knew him a little? maybe you didn’t get close to him, you weren’t his friend, but you were nicer to him than most, and sometimes you think about the skinny orphan kid with the messy hair that you haven’t seen since you were 11, and wonder what happened to him

and then you marry a wizard, and you learn exactly what happened

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

Like we always talk about Sirius’ dog traits and Peter’s rat traits…what about James? Does he freeze when he sees headlights? Does he have an affinity for salt licks? What do deer even do?

[vagueenthusiast]

Occasionally, Lily will walk in on him rubbing his head against the bedpost.

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

One year after James got Sirius a box of dog treats for his birthday as a joke, Sirius got James a salt lick for Christmas…

…neither of them say anything when they walk in on each other indulging in said gifts…

[vagueenthusiast]

A day or so later, Sirius was peeved to find that his half-empty box of dog treats had been pillaged, with only a few crumbs left behind.

At dinner that night, Remus ate much less than usual.

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

Peter just looks at all of them like they are crazy until they buy him a giant wheel of gormet cheese for his birthday and he nearly cries from happiness

[siriusblackfoot]

james suddenly decides to become a vegetarian around fifth year 

when he sees something strange, sometimes sirius involuntarily makes that little *boof* sound dogs make when they don’t know if they should fully bark

peter is actually the first of the four to grow any facial hair, just a few wispy blonde mustache hairs on either side of his mouth, right about where whiskers would be…

[angryslothqueen]

Okay but imagine them being outside for whatever reason and James is absentmindedly playing with the grass before he just picks it up and puts it into his mouth without even realizing why anyone is staring at him.

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

James: *chewing on grass*

Sirius: mate…the fuck?

James: *stops chewing for a second.* oh please, we all saw you bury that chicken bone from dinner the other day.

Sirius:…point taken…

Sirius:…wait…*eyes narrow. Growls* you saw?

Remus: *sigh* Sirius no one’s going to steal your bone…

Sirius: damn right they won’t. *gets up.* EVERYONE CLOSE YOUR EYES. NOW I HAVE TO MOVE IT!

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

James also wakes up literally at the crack of fucking dawn and it drives everyone insane

[asktheboywholived]

And poor Minerva never understood her inexplicable urge to hiss whenever the marauders entered the room.  

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

• Deer don’t sleep for extended periods of time. They dose. James is up and down all night. The marauders get used to it eventually, but it drives Lily absolutely crazy.

• They prefer to sleep against solid objects. James can’t sleep if the mattress is too soft and it’s not unusual to find him napping on the floor or propped up against the wall.

• everyone assumes Peter is the lookout during pranks, but Deer have an amazing ability to sense even the slightest danger. James was incredibly on Order missions.

• mature bucks assert their dominance by trying to intimidate others with constant eye contact. This has caused a lot of stare downs between James and Sirius, which usually results in the two of them wrestling each other because they are both too stubborn to back down.

He stares down others also. Peter always gives in right away. James never dares to stare Remus down.

BONUS:

Before mating, Does often play “hard to get” and make the bucks chase after them before allowing the bucks to “catch” them…

Ladies and gentlemen of the fandom, I give you Lily Evans.

[its-harrypooter]

deer are extremely fast and active with fast reflexes, hence james was such a good quidditch player

deer can hear higher frequencies than humans, and have better hearing which proved extremely useful for the marauders 

BONUS:

deer have a life expectancy of 20 years OH FUCK

[lazarusemma]

I wasn’t going to reblog until the last one made me literally scream in anger

[fanonical]

fred, george, parvati, and padma all hanging out in the gryffindor common room wearing t-shirts with ‘the hottest twin’ on them

[fanonical]

hermione granger can recite both long shakespeare passages and the entire script of toy story

[fanonical]

hermione granger can recite both long shakespeare passages and the entire script of toy story

[velvetmirrors]

The original Gryffindor quidditch team was everything tbh. 

[slytherin-headcanons]

399. Slytherins being asked to bring food to a party and deciding to bring something that they love but a lot of people don’t like because then there’s more food for them

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

harry: your nickname is “Big D”?

dudley:

[wampusbitch]

harry: oh shit look someone saved my ass by casting a patronus

harry: MUST HAVE BEEN MY LONG DEAD DAD RIGHT

me: *gross sobbing*

[bluealice17]

This is golden.

[pembroke]

day 2 of potter week prompts - must be a weasley~

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[meraudurs]

‘tis the season to remember ron weasley is the best friend someone could have. he knew harry wasn’t expecting any christmas presents so he mentioned that to his mom who hand-knitted harry a sweater and sent him a large box of homemade fudge.

[shrekfiona]

[dracolucivs]

What if Harry just obliviated Voldemort and none of the death eaters knew it happened so Harry just went about living a normal life and Voldemort was confused as to why all these people in weird masks kept trying to talk to him

[follow-the-bvtterflies]

Gilderoy Lockhart Potter, you are named after a Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, who taught me the most important skill I ever needed to know.

[cuetheviolins]

@justanotherurl-not

[xueyangapologist]

the Hogwarts teachers were my favourite part of the books remember in CoS when they were so sick of Lockhart that they chased him out of the staffroom by reminding him he’d said he could kill Slytherin’s monster in seconds, remember in OotP when they couldn’t tell Harry they approved of his interview so they did wildly extravagant favours for him, like giving him twenty house points for passing a watering can, or bursting into tears and announcing that he’d live a long and happy life? on that note remember how much McGonagall disliked Trelawney and all her little digs, and remember how she ran forward to brace Trelawney as she was being kicked out by Umbridge? remember how McGonagall ran out to defend Hagrid from trained Aurors with nothing but her words and took four Stunning Spells to the chest? remember when she told Peeves how to unscrew the chandelier? i could go on about McGonagall especially for days but i love all of them so much

[vivienvalentino]

Shut up, Tom, you two faced slut.