Just a side blog to get me through the day

A blog dedicated to my mental health and a platform for my alters to stretch their legs.

[catchymemes]

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

visual representation of my mood today 

[sleepingpigeon]

why do u think u know me i don’t even know me

[lightheartedsuggestion]

Even if you don’t realize it, you are moving forward.

[gianu-system]

[positiveautistic-deactivated202]

You survived the trauma, you will survive the recovery

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

some things that horror movie culture has taught you are scary…. are just ableist

[artishroom]

….clarify?

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

okay sure. psychosis? scarier to have than to know someone who has it. DID? im more a threat to myself than people around me. wheelchairs and psych meds? are tools that help people live more functional and flexible lives and are not judgments of the persons character and for sure are not scary things. and for real, intellectually disabled people are not threats, but movies love to make them villains because they act different and understand the world differently. and people with notable physical differences? people who’s bodies look different? people with scars, growths, amputations, etc? are literally just people. and seeing themselves painted like monsters on the big screen is absolutely sickening and damaging to how society will see them.

its not only bad writing but its extremely harmful to people who actually live with conditions that are misrepresented in media. when i found out i had DID, my mom freaked out because her only point of reference was Sybil. when i was younger and first went on psych meds, i thought it meant i was set on a track to be a bad person, because in so many movies and video games you find out the bad guy has medication in his bed side table for some sort of psych disorder. the worst thing a hallucination has ever made me do was wake my mom up at 3 AM to check my bathroom to see if the bugs i saw everywhere were real and the worst thing an “episode” of any sort has made me do is hurt myself. my ptsd doesnt make me kill people, my alters dont kidnap people, my autism doesnt make me so morally unaware that ill murder for senselessly, my ocd doesnt make me hurt people etc etc etc

literally the only “horror” is the ableism. and the only way you can write good horror about disability and mental illness is if the focus is on how society and the medical field treat us rather than focusing on how we are apparently so scary, threatening, and bad.

[wormtitty]

“what the fuck is wrong with me?” i ask, fully aware of the mood, personality, and anxiety disorders i have

[palimpsest-system]

Am I an alter, a fragment, or just the host in a particular mood? A novel by us

[wordsnquotes]

“So I became someone else. Not because I wanted to, but because I could no longer survive as who I was.”

— Kristie Betts (via shareaquote)

[dissolutionandcreation]

Well this is a DID mood

[youngchronicpain]

when you’re on negative spoons but people want to keep doing stuff

[haemon-remade-blog]

me: *literally says anything*

therapist: can you…. give me an example?

me, someone who has memory problems:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

off to therapy, you guys want anything?

[salazar-slanderin]

For you to feel secure in your mental health, and if not secure at least hopeful and confident that you’re making the right decisions for yourself.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I’m in fucking tears thanks mate

[butterychaoticduck]

So you suddenly feel anxious

 maybe you’re having a panic attack, maybe you’re dissociating or maybe you’re just stressing.

here is something i found really helps in those moments:

Move from the place you are in right now, take a step back and find a more comfortable position

be patient, and be mindful that it will not go away with the snap of a finger. this is a wave, and you have to ride it

close your eyes, focus first on your breath, and the beatings of your heart. count to 10 very slowly

now open your eyes, don’t let the fear stop you, take ten seconds to notice the world around you, name the first things that you see, or just try to memorize where it is and how it looks

now close your eyes again, Count to 10 and slowly breathe, let your thoughts flow and don’t cling on to them, they will still be on your mind, but they have to flow freely

open your eyes again, look at the same object that your saw before, notice it is still on the same place, nobody moved it, it is the same color.

notice more things around you, notice how everything is ok, and you are not going through an extreme situation,  count another slow 10 

Close your eyes again and keep repeating this, keep noticing and naming more things, notice the sounds, the smells and the textures around you. Ground yourself in the reality of the moment.

After a while of doing this you will probably eventually have ridden the wave into a more calm state. Don’t be fooled, the waves can and will come again. but it’s all about learning how to grab a surfboard and ride them. It’s about taking comfort in the spaces of time they are not there, and get busy, get active, so you can regain, in time, the opportunity to a good life that was given to you.

[bleed-in-ink-deactivated2017052]

Constantly torn between “if I show symptoms I’m real and valid” and “I can’t show any symptoms because then I’ll be a bother so I have to internalize everything.”

[sothatstherealnews]

Dont forget “if I can control my symptoms are they still valid”

[sarcasticsabreur]

And “if I show symptoms I’m manipulating the people around me”

[spicypansexual]

Also “if I don’t show symptoms at any given moment I’m lying about having a mental illness and everything is an overreaction”

[heartpalpitations]

Gaps

okay to rb

[acrylicsanddrawings]

Good Self/Mental Health Care Apps

Daylio: pictorial mood tracking. Pick a smiley face and current activity to log your emotions at any time throughout the day. Moods and activities are customizable

NotOK: panic button. Set five contacts and write a message to send out during a crisis. In a crisis, hit the button and your contacts will be contacted.

Booster Buddy: wake up the cartoon animal by doing three self care activitities throughout the day. Also has optional activities for a variety of mental health issues, including psychosis.

7 Cups: chat anonymously with a stranger about your problems, get an e-therapist, or participate in a group chat with people with similar struggles. LGBTQ friendly.

Calm Harm: alternatives to self harm, gives you activities to do while you ride out the urge to hurt yourself

Tap Tap Fish: not a self care app, but a very calming game where you grow your own reef. Great way to feel like you’re taking care of something

Symple: symptom tracker app. Allows you to track a variety of symptoms throughout the day

Anyway those are the ones that I know, if anyone wants to feel free to add more!