There is something I have mentioned in my blog before about "Spiritual Delusion." However, I have come to an understanding that : people connected with their own divine energy might feel somewhat disconnected from organized religion. I’m not against organized religion; it may have been introduced to help humanity grow with a set of rules and principles, enabling human consciousness to understand morality. It could also have been served as a starting point for individuals to connect with their own divine essence.
Much like how one's sexual life is private, the connection with God is also a deeply personal matter. When rules are imposed, some people might stray from that path and find their unique way of connecting with the divine. It’s also possible that enlightened individuals continue to practice their sacred rituals hence respecting their cultural beliefs.
The spiritual realm is vast and cannot be confined within rigid boundaries. I've come to realize that what I might perceive as spiritual delusion could be someone else's spiritual truth, because that experience was not meant for me. Who am I to deny the truth of what I cannot see? I kept questioning: is existence solely about acknowledging the seen and denying the unseen?
There will always be a tension between personal spirituality and organized religion, and perhaps no one will win this battle. Ultimately, we will choose to see the world as we wish to see it.
A true feminine doesn’t view her peers as competition. Yet we are constantly thrust into battles we don’t want. Friends becoming rivals, manipulation being admired. This all makes me wonder if all of us can be controlled through toxicity or is there anyone out there with authentic intelligence?
“May time reveal to you that what felt like rejection was actually divine protection. May the perspective that comes from hindsight transform regret to relief."
This quote felt way too personal; uncertain on how do I express it's depth. It felt as if a long-buried wound was suddenly open causing an intense, uncontrollable flow of emotions, like blood splattering everywhere. Few days ago, something happened to me. I felt vulnerable and the house that I had created for myself, filled with specific people broke down to pieces. While I realized, I could reach out to them, I received a harsh rebuff. I felt more wounded than before, as if I were scarred for life. I usually don't take things to heart, but this felt like a deep wound and a betrayal.
It's like standing in the rain, getting completely drenched, waiting for someone to come to you with an umbrella, only to realize they never intended to come. That perfectly captures the depth of my feelings—something no one seems to understand. These are the people who swore they would always be by your side, who promised never to leave you—only to leave you scarred. And they aren't even apologetic about it. You know something was definitely wrong in how you were treated, but you can't get anyone's attention because no one feels accountable for their actions. Everyone spins a different version of the story where they are the hero, making you question your own reality. Maybe that's what I call gaslighting at its best.
The Initial Shock
The initial shock was brutal. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I was thrown into a panic frenzy by the insensitivity I faced.
And then you hear statements like:
"Talking to you feels like walking on eggshells."
"I don’t even know what would make you cry. My words usually hurt like a sting, and I'm not one to forgive easily."
It's as if hurting others is worn as a badge of pride nowadays, while sensitive people like us are laughed for being labeled as cry-babies. I've heard this throughout my life—since childhood—and now it's even harder to bear because as an adult, you're expected to be stoic. You're not supposed to feel much, or at the very least, you're expected to manage your emotions maturely. The sharp stab in the back, the pain, and the sense of helplessness all seem to slip away, becoming elusive to your mind.
The Hurt and The Anger
Whenever I experience pain, I also feel anger from the shock, because that's my body's signal to show that something has gone wrong. However, my anger is often mistaken for ego, and suddenly, I'm expected to shut down my emotions. The panic, the frenzy, the flood of emotions—all of it becomes so overwhelming that all I can feel is the gnawing pain in my chest.
How could they? They were supposed to be your perfect sanctuary, someone you could rely on during the storms, earthquakes, or any challenging moments. Instead, they let you down.
And that's when you realize that people will inevitably let you down. They may not always understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, walls are necessary to fortify yourself, and that's where I've learned the lesson of resilience. You can't expect people to be your refuge, because like everyone else, they may not be prepared to face your battles with you. They might already be bruised and in need of rest, or they could be overwhelmed just like you are.
It's certainly a dark place to find oneself, but looking back, I believe everything I felt served a purpose—a spiritual lesson that I wasn't prepared to confront at the time.
Reflecting on the experience
The inner dialogue with myself made me realize one thing—how much I focused on others while neglecting my own ability to cope. My worth and self-respect were completely tied to how others treated me. I failed to recognize the signs. While I know the initial phase of dealing with this will be incredibly tough, I believe that if I emerge from this, I may discover a new version of myself. It's a bitter truth to accept, but people can't be our homes. We are responsible for building our own fortresses. We make them beautiful and inviting, but we must not mistake the visitors for places meant to last forever. Perhaps that's the lesson I'm learning.
Some days will be dark, while others will feel like rays of hope. I know that slowly, I will begin to heal. It's necessary to pick up the pieces and continue on this journey called life. It's tough but essential for regaining strength. While the scars remain, I see them as proof of my resilience. And in doing so, it's important to forgive those who have hurt me. I believe that people hurting others often reflects their own inner struggles, and most of the time, it has nothing to do with the person they hurt. Therefore, I won't hold onto hurt, anger, or seek revenge—because despite letting me down, these people were there for me during important moments. They helped shape the wise person I like to think I am today. Perhaps this experience is urging me to change something within myself, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to heal and reclaim my life, seeking peace of mind once more.
Why did I write all this here? It started as a personal vent, a way to process my emotions. Yet, as I wrote, I felt I might be speaking for many who have felt abandoned by loved ones. So many may have felt they deserved mistreatment, which is the hardest feeling to endure. Through my words, I want others to know it may not be their fault. While painful, there is also room for growth. It might be the opportunity to discover a stronger version of oneself through resilience.
So vent, scream into the void—but once done, please pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Because you are worth it. The world may be waiting for you to shine brightly like a polished diamond.
Healing the Heart: Unpacking Mother Wounds and Finding Liberation.
From Millennials to Gen-zs, many of us carry the invisible scars of motherhood — deep emotional imprints left by complex dynamics from our maternal figures. Father wounds are often cited as creating confidence issues or a plateau in personal performance, yet these can be surmounted through training and by finding supportive connections. In contrast, individuals grappling with mother wounds often contend with deep-seated internalized fear and trauma, posing significant challenges in navigating life’s complexities.
These mother wounds can manifest as internal misogyny, toxic manifestations of feminism or tendency to attract relationship for seeking validation and gaining attention. I am not singling out anyone over here, but these issues usually stem from coping with either an overpowering or absent mother figure who couldn’t provide the needed support and love. These wounds then become the psychological scars where individual feels they are the weapon to survive in the real world. Overtime they hinder your spiritual growth creating spiritual blockage. The purpose of this article isn’t to criticize anyone but to offer insights from personal experience on how to heal these longstanding wounds from childhood and embrace emotional liberation.
Understanding a Mother Wound
“ Perhaps the greatest wound a child can suffer is the inability to feel unconditionally loved by its mother.” — Toni Morrison.
Toni Morrison aptly described mother wound as possibly the greatest childhood wound — a soul’s longing for unconditional maternal love. Many of us ignore the importance of healing our own emotional world. Because this means delving right into our origins. It’s uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. Some having endured emotional neglect traverse into the world using a stoic demeanor, being completely disconnected from their emotional feelings. Others struggle to comprehend emotions, leading to further chaos. For some, unlike me, experiences of criticism and abuse have led to their difficulties forming bonds with other women. Our external realities often mirror the internal work needed to break free from these patterns. I learnt this when I befriended males who had strong maternal instincts. I knew then that I was disconnected from my motherhood. Many of others who feel disconnected from our feminine energy even undervalue our own beauty, perpetuating this cycle until we confront it head-on.
Mother wounds often create profound emotional impacts, resulting in low self-esteem for those who have endured constant criticism and lack of appreciation from their parents. The prevalence of mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression among us often stems from the mistreatment we received from our mothers, whether consciously or subconsciously. We may unwittingly project these negative experiences onto the world, perpetuating a cycle that we are destined to recognize and ultimately overcome.
Healing from mother wounds is a sacred journey of self-discovery and spiritual reconnection. But it is important to understand how the wounds manifest in our life. Have we ever asked ourselves how these wounds speak through us?
These are emotional triggers often revealing deep-seated wounds that require healing. Though overwhelming, exploring these triggers sheds light on areas in need of attention.
We are always critical about our mistakes. It helps sometimes to keep nurturing our inner child. It’s okay to make mistakes and not be perfect every time. Embracing imperfections and allowing room for mistakes is essential; perfectionism only distances us from authenticity.
This one’s hard — but having healthy boundaries is crucial for one’s growth taking gradual steps and reflecting on daily actions fostering personal growth and emotional stability.
Recognizing patterns of seeking external validation is pivotal. Overcoming this tendency involves freeing oneself from negative inner voices, fostering self-awareness, and understanding personal growth areas.
How to Break from this emotional trauma:
Recognize your inner world: In this journey of life, our dreams often reveal hidden aspects of ourselves, including our shadow energies like anger, fear, and abandonment. The first step towards healing is acknowledging these emotions. Awareness of our inner struggles is the beginning of true liberation.
Embrace authenticity: Many of us carry burdens from our past, often shaped by parental figures or societal expectations. It’s crucial to embrace authenticity and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Embracing our silliness and accepting our mistakes can be profoundly freeing. Personally, I found solace in journaling and exploring creative outlets to heal my inner child.
Practice Forgiveness: Louise Hay offers powerful meditations on forgiveness. While healing cannot be rushed, taking steps towards forgiving those who have hurt us can alleviate inner turmoil. Releasing these emotional blocks opens pathways to future happiness and peace.
Reconnect through meditation: Meditation, especially practices like Shaman Journeying or pathworking, can help integrate fragmented aspects of ourselves. Personally, connecting with my chosen deity, often a crone figure, allowed me to explore and reconcile my emotions. Through this journey, I discovered a profound sense of peace and witnessed a renewed version of myself emerging.
Healing mother wounds can also transcend your ancestral line Healing our mother wounds is not just about personal growth; it has the power to transcend generations. By addressing and healing these deep-seated wounds, we initiate a collective transformation that resonates through our ancestral line. Those who engage with ancestral spirit guides in this healing process are not only benefiting themselves but also uplifting their entire lineage.
The journey to healing generational trauma is profound and often challenging, akin to navigating a path strewn with eggshells. Yet, every step we take towards healing alchemizes the pain and burden, paving the way for future generations to experience lighter, healthier lives. This healing journey acts as a beacon of light, nurturing future souls who can navigate the complexities of the physical world with greater ease and grace.
In essence, by healing our mother wounds, we contribute to a legacy of healing that extends beyond ourselves, shaping a brighter and more harmonious future for all who come after us. It is a transformative journey that honors the past, enriches the present, and illuminates the path forward.
Romance and Darkness: Bridgerton Theme of Feminine Strength
I’ve never been a romance girl.
I have always lived for stories but romance was never my genre of choice. It felt too imaginative and absurd to me. I was drawn to shadows and gothic rather than the superficial regency romance about money and titles. That was until I watched Bridgerton. The series unveiled a dark side of Regency era, showcasing the harsh realities for women who were often reduced to mere breeding stock for men. Women had no rights to their own bodies and were coerced into maintaining perfect figure to satiate men’s lust in exchange for a better life.
But how did these women survive despite of having no rights at all? This questions resonated deeply as I travelled more onto my spiritual path, exploring the themes of survival, pain and struggle. Something I have spoken about in my previous blogs too.
In Bridgerton, three women captured my heart.
✾ Lady Danbury
✾ Queen Charlotte (though I agree I initially detested her icy demeanour but loved watching her throughout the series)
✾ Princess Penelope (although not a Queen but subconsciously trained by the society to become a formidable rival for the crown)
Penelope and Colin’s Relationship
As a huge fan of Lilith in astrology, especially through @corvoidea content, I learnt hard that Lilith always stands against societal norms questioning everything around her. That is precisely what I found in Penelope — her sharp intellect and keen observation combined with her focused vulnerability eventually did something that was not widely accepted by the society at that time. Penelope is a perfect amalgamation of vulnerability and intelligent prowess. Colin on the other hand was charming yet restless. Many might see them as an odd pairing, but I felt they were perfect for each other. Questioning their purpose, propelling each other towards their own spiritual paths. Remember, how Colin a perfect bachelor yearned to do something different than the other Bridgerton brothers. Penelope brought that writer in him and made him realise how special he can be.
In the first two seasons, we witnessed a dance of superficiality and denial from Colin while Penelope brooded in invisibility. Yet, her invisibility became a powerful weapon enabling her to live as Lady Whistledown who could not bow against any man — who could make her own money in a time where women strategically chose husbands for security. By the third season, with Penelope revealed as Lady Whistledown and Colin discovering her secret who utterly devastated showcased their match made in heaven — undergoing emotional transformation, inner trials only to emerge stronger.
Masculine and Feminine Roles
The regency era had rigid masculine and feminine rules that stifled both men and women. Men were expected to be assertive while women subdued. Queen Charlotte’s love story with King George III provides a fascinating lens to examine these dynamics. The Queen’s commanding presence contrasted with King’s emotional and physical pain, highlights the burdens of royalty. The rigid rules left no room for emotions, and I felt deeply saddened for both the characters- Queen’s loneliness while the King George’s concealed pain. Both suffering a loss of balance but only revived by unwavering love for each other. There was a burden bore by every member serving the crown. Their emotions dried down and love taken way in the name of the sacrifice for the regency.
Queen Charlotte spent days alone devoid of King’s touch while George silently suffered through torture — since that was the only form of cure for any mental illness during that period. While George focused so much on staying away from Charlotte, their marriage grew apart and they felt cold towards each other. However in end with Charlotte’s declaration, “I do not care for his sanity. I care for his happiness. I care for his soul. Let him be mad if madness is what he needs,” revealed a profound understanding of each other’s souls that transcended material expectations of love. Clarifying the spiritual understanding that love heals all. Even when Reynolds questioning and answering at the same time — if the love will change the King for better. But in a way it does. Queen Charlotte chose him to become mad only to retain his soul and through her love she could always find the King — the one she loved dearly and one she could bring back from the depths of darkness. While I loved the Queen, I also loved her tender parts in Queen Charlotte and understood the coldness.
Intersection of Lilith Themes
Penelope and Colin alongside Charlotte and George III embodied a unique blend of feminine and masculine energies. Unlike regency’s traditional norms, their relationship was based on equal support challenging gender expectations. Penelope’s sharp intellect questioned the submissive feminine ideology, while Colin’s emotional growth challenged the rigid, ruthless masculine norm.
Lady DanBury: My favourite Lilithian icon
Lady Danbury’s transformation was remarkable. She once said to Simon who had been the epitome of assertiveness but as a child- very scared and feeble.
"When I was a girl, some centuries ago, I was afraid even of my own reflection. I entered a room and attempted to dissolve into the shadows. But there is only so long one in a position such as ours can hide. I knew I have to step into the light someday, and I could not very well be frightened. So instead, I made myself frightening. I sharpened my wit, and my wardrobe, and my eye, and I made myself the most terrifying creature in any room I entered."
And we know how he turned out to be.
She never let her inner fire die. Even when constantly raped by her old husband and handling to his every whims. Even when she had to fight for her royal title after his death. Yet, it doesn't end her. She finds love and peace within Lord Ledger. And through him she understood what it meant to be truly united with a man without having the feeling of being violated at every end. Yet, the love didn't lasted long due to societal boundaries, I found peace in knowing that Lady Danbury experienced true love. She found herself through him and was finally able to choose herself -- and pave a path of loneliness but also of independence and power. Throughout the series, she became my perfect Lilith icon of empowerment , sacrifice, rising beyond the societal standards thereby making a name for herself.
Bridgerton and Feminine Strength
Bridgerton and Queen Charlotte were more than entertaining shows for me -- they showed me the true form of femininity. They helped me looked past the toxic feminism we see today. Yet they rose above the challenges and make the world look at them even when the worst of the worst circumstances were given to them.
As fans of this series, do you ponder the interconnection between masculinity and femininity? Do you see these themes and consider how they apply to your own life, encouraging kindness in your relationships?
I’m curious to know your thoughts! Share them in the comments. 🌸
Within the tapestry of existence, souls weave threads of genderless spirits, embodying harmony beyond earthly realms.
Though eunuchs and transgenders can be used interchangeably, my focus will be more on transgender people who have the ability to master their feminine and masculine energies within their causal bodies. Many pagan and indigenous cultures, including my own, place great importance on transgender individuals, seeing them as essential for human growth.
What makes them so revered by ancient saints?
Is it their dualism that makes them special considering them to be a gift to humanity?
On my spiritual journey, I have been mesmerised by transgender also known as “trutiyapanthi” in my culture. I have always loved to believe that they can experience spirituality more profoundly than others due to the merging of masculine and feminine energies within them. Many light workers, healers, and spiritualists I know confirm that the higher realms have no distinction between masculine and feminine energies, since both of them are consumed and worked equally. Perhaps this is why higher beings, beyond our current understanding, feel humans cannot yet match their consciousness.
I have also been deeply influenced by Carl Jung, a psychologist who integrated spirituality and psychology, showing how they can coexist harmoniously. Jung’s theories such as Hero’s Journey helped me explore the tarot in much more profound way - the craft that I had been working for a long time. Through him I understood the shadow and through him I learnt about Anima and Animus. Anima being the personification of all female tendencies in a man while animus being the male psychological tendencies in a female. It proved that we can have this polarised form only in physicality but inside we manifest both the energies.
There have been real examples of transgender who have inspired me beyond the spirituality. Gauri Sawant embodies motherhood and compassion, helping me connect with my divine mother energy. Manabi Bandopadhyay, a professor and also a principal to an educational institutes helped me understand how to be authentic as well as knowledgeable, teaching me the value of liberation. Naaz Joshi, trans model showed me that beauty can be found in unexpected places. It doesn’t end here. Sushant Divgikar who became my personal favourite, a singer who can perform in both male and female voices, represented the perfect blend between of divine masculine and divine feminine energies.
Historically, transgender people have also played important roles in society. In the Mughal empire, infamously in Ottoman empire men were castrated to guard the women of royal courts; but their significance dates back even further. They were also revered in ancient times, serving as political advisors, generals and administrators.
I remember a story being told in Ramayana capturing their essence. Lord Rama was being asked to leave royal court and banished for 14 years instructed his followers - men and women to return the city. However the transgender community didnt bound to the directions and chose to stay with their lord due to which Ram blessed them with power to confer blessings on people during auspicious occasions. Native Americans have their two spirit theory — a name given to transgenders indeed valuing them for their roles as healers, mid-wives, leaders in spiritual communities.
This duality not only makes them great spiritually but also paves a dense and transformative path. While the internal focus is to balance, they live a life overwhelming with challenges on the physical level. Continually challenging societal norms, they transform themselves and the world around them. They do so by simply existing - by being truthful to themselves.
In my country, they also value profound connection between teacher and disciple — as seen in ancient Gurukul system. Amidst their journeys, they achieve success but also give back to their communities, sharing the compassion and love they have cultivated despite being treated as a dirt. Their ability to operate with innate divine wisdom and offer kindness to others, even after enduring immense hardship, is profoundly inspiring to me.
They do help us understand the complexity of human existence, power of duality and boundless potential in human spirit. Acting as a living testament to harmonious blend of masculine and feminine, they challenge the close-mindedness of societal norms. We can open ourselves to at-least acknowledge their presence rather than denying their individuality because they are different than us. Divine can manifest in countless, wondrous form - and they are the perfect example.
From Co-Dependency to Self Empowerment: Nurturing Self-Love and Healthy Boundaries.
Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is letting go of what you thought was real. Trust in the process and know that releasing the past is the key to embracing a healthier and more fulfilling future.
This quote resonates with me fully, activating a part of me every time I read it. It’s an intriguing enigma, possibly because I have always been the one glue-stuck in relationships until they had me to leave and my space. When they left, something inside of me died too. And it took a long time to revive. This underscores the importance of leaving dead relationships, people, or situations that no longer align with our purpose. Yet, we often find ourselves making excuses to stay, rather than recognising that the person is no longer who we thought they are.
I witnessed today the two important people in my life suffer this phenomena because they chose to stay. They stayed entangled with someone who was meant to leave - a part of divine plan that was helping them to grow and move on to a better life. Yet when they felt like leaving, it was difficult for a choice to be made because they were addicted to their current reality. But what was meant to happen, happened! When the person was forced to leave from their life, it felt a tower collapsing, as if their world turned upside down.
Why would a soul choose pain?
Why would we choose to stay in unhealthy connections that don’t bring us peace?
Why leaving them still hurts when they were the source of the pain?
I was bombarded with these questions and while I had the answers within me — I chose not to say. I helped them with the changing undercurrents allowing them to mourn the loss and eventually hoped they move on from it.
We see so many narcissistic people and energy vampires around good people, energy healers, spiritual workers etc. We know they are not good for them in any way, yet they are still hovering around their spaces. These people don’t leave because they know they will never be left. It may be love that binds them together but also a spiritual contract allowing them to be together until the lesson is learnt. Pain allow us to ascend. Teaching us the value of not-over-giving and creating strong boundaries. These people do have a purpose to help us understand ourselves and that too through the harshest way, activating a self-loving factor within us. Otherwise, how would we turn inwards when we are so focused on loving others and giving to humanity, never nurturing our inner flame?
Breaking free from this becomes a transformative journey that guides us all towards understanding healthier relationships through self discovery. Even, meeting the one who will choose to growing together than burdening with more of their baggage. While this requires a lot of time and effort, it will lead us to that person we all want to be with. Battling loneliness is tough, but I think it helps in playing a crucial role in building self-esteem. Fostering spiritual growth by helping us cultivate a healthy connection within ourselves. And we wouldn’t dare hurt what we love the most!
Trusting the process and embracing the change is the key!
Spiritual ego is hiding behind the facade of enlightenment, while real spirituality comes from letting go, questioning and embracing the unknown
Spirituality offers moksha - freedom from a human life of sufferings and happiness; from materialism and desires. I always defined it as a door opening to a realm close to where my soul resides. What we often call as a profound experience is merely a byproduct of finding our true destiny.
There are so many people who yet fail to realise the difference between spirituality and occultism. One is about letting things go to find that spiritual place while other is for yearning profound experiences. I see so many witches, healers, occultists, spiritualists talking about astral travel, connecting with their gods, experiencing siddhis - like telepathy and clairvoyance. Some people can access this easy while other; even with the work put; cannot access.
So who is to blame?
After speaking with many wise mentors I learnt that accessing spiritual world requires a deep connection with your spiritual body. But how we can do this when we are unsure of our own physical body? Are we even aware of what happens inside of us? Do we treat our body like a temple? Even those they do, where does the mind go. My mentor instigated me to question further -
Do we have control over own senses?
How do we treat our emotional body?
Are we even aware of what happens inside of our body?
Do we acknowledge our thoughts?
The answer was a clear NO!
Everything starts from root and then ascend towards crown and then there’s a vast experience waiting for us. We live in a time where we consume vast amounts of information; yet many of us suffer from anxiety, BPD, schizophrenia without understanding the underlying truths. Maybe we don’t have the fear of unknown but rather the pain of knowing too much.
I don’t want to ruffle any feathers but when I say that many of us today dabble in spiritual experiences and knowing of all spiritual practices having learnt the nuances of it. But are we honest about our own spiritual reality? Many of us who nods to yes maybe even me may stem this reaction from spiritual ego. It’s majestic to talk about realms untravelled, dreams, entities and whatnot but confronting our dark side — is challenging. Going to a place that is dreadful dark is a difficult place to live in — there is no air to breathe as it feels suffocating. Healing from trauma is painful, therapy is painful. While we leave that area untravelled, we either fall into spiritual delusion or we might just bypass our trauma to using the methods/tools that are available to us.
Should we then take a complete detour from spirituality? Maybe not. But sometimes taking a break from the unknown is necessary. There is nothing wrong in understanding our body’s needs. We come here fulfilling a material purpose as much as we all have a spiritual purpose to grow. Not everyone comes here to attain nirvana. Learning from your mistakes is crucial.
We must acknowledge our fears, traumas and triggers. It’s a daunting task, I know - especially without a support from our loved ones. Many of us grow in dense destructive and chaotic environments, but we can learn to go through the tide by working on ourselves daily. It might be anything, even the smallest of the things can be helpful. As smallest as “acknowledging our pain” go a long way in our growth. Reflecting on our actions helps us avoid spiritual bypassing. It’s dangerous to feel that we have attained something when we were all this time feeding our ego. Will we be then ready to face the truth when reality hits after long years of falsehood?
I am not saying people with mental trauma should avoid spirituality. In fact they can work better when they have taken care of their mental health. Therapy works. Especially Jungian and transpersonal psychologists can be very helpful to move towards calm waters. Even if you can’t afford therapy, there are many resources online that can guides to the right way. We just need to know where to look. If our body and our mind is not aligned, we may never reach our spiritual goals. We need to also focus on mundane.
Personally, I found solace in chanting mantras from my culture that offer many benefits like protecting of energies, positivity and also spiritual growth. But I could do this only after actively working on things that affected me. After realising that I will need to move through this hellish phase and I knew that walk was going to be long one. The end was worth it - I could access the place where my soul yearns. Perhaps the path towards spirituality involves breaking down ourselves only to reinvent something beautiful hidden inside. The profound experiences are then nothing but gift from our guides and spiritual masters to come through the arduous process.
There’s an epiphany I had yesterday - we are born to struggle to be in the place we deserve.
“Easy doesn’t grow up on human life. Utopia is the myth.” I stumbled upon this quote somewhere and it made me realise on lot of things. Like it hit me hard!
I always craved for happiness. But once I got the taste of it, I felt shallow. Without the struggle, it felt like something from life was taken away from me and I cannot do more. Life became boring, more mundane. Then I started believing the fact that our life is inherently a big struggle. Our brains are wired to seek out problems to resolve and when there is nothing left to resolve, our mind cease to work. It becomes a playground of nothingness. We stop thinking creatively. This is just not about the personal development but it’s a pattern we live in. We don’t like stillness. We as moving and facing difficulties makes us feel more alive. We do need something to work on.
But then another thought consumed my mind - a dance of fate and free will. On one hand I revelled the fact that I am the creator of my own destiny. My choice defines my life and while this is a very positive outlook to live, it felt like I was operating under a spiritual ego. It was comforting to think that I can have control over my own life and I will achieve anything that I set my mind to.
But then, when fate turns it’s wheels, it makes me believe that our lives may be preordained. Some powerful force or the Universe having a plan for us was a bit difficult to take - because that takes away the control from me. This dance that I had in my mind was both reassuring as well as daunting. While I felt empowered for some decisions I took that bettered my life, there was also a part of my life which lacked control — no matter what I do. I was meant to live that experience. Events were preordained for me — so that I suffer for now and be where I meant to be.
Perhaps the truth lies in between - between our fate and the free will and the truth lies in accepting happiness and choosing difficulties. Maybe our life happens between these two threads — difficulty and happiness , fate and free will. Everything we experience happens in between. Our struggles, our happiness, joys, sorrows are all part of this complex interplay that we call as life.
Being a Saturnian in 12th house makes me ponder these difficult questions but then eventually it helps me to find comfort that somethings are meant to be while somethings we make it for ourselves. Maybe that’s what makes our life more beautiful. Isn’t it more powerful by embracing the mystery surrounding us rather than seeking control?
The Lilith conjunct Sun in my chart resonates so intensely today. It’s frustrating to encounter men who are so easily swaged by circumstances or people and then expecting their fragile egos to be coddled.
People like me always will defy the societal norms and not just that but they will stand ALONE. And hence they will always be treated with disdain. And we are prepared for it. We are also prepared for the fact that we will be isolated to a point that each day becomes a battle to keep your self-esteem and sanity intact. While most of the times we succeed, there comes a time where we meet our breaking point. A point where overwhelming feeling takes over and cracks us inside leading to tears and a deep sense of dejection.
But… that doesn’t deter us from our path. That doesn’t break our soul. When things get truly tough, we bear every insult and endure every sight — just to survive. So that when time comes like crocodile emerging from the water we strike and eat everything and everyone that comes our way. Ready to take on the world with determination.
If you have not yet found yours, no need to wait much longer.
THE SPREAD
Your True Passion
Card on top (The Empress)
Its Different Forms
Cards in the middle row (Six of Wands, Ten of Cups, Seven of Pentacles)
Your Path Towards Each
Cards at the bottom (King of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, Page of Wands)
READING THE SPREAD
Your True Passion
Divide your deck into three: Major Arcana, Minor Arcana pip cards, Minor Arcana court cards. Shuffle the Major Arcana. Pull the card on top. That is your true passion in this incarnation.
Its Different Forms
Shuffle the Minor Arcana pips. Pull two cards from the top of the deck, and get the third from the bottom. These are the different manifestations of your true passion.
Your Path Towards Each
Shuffle the Minor Arcana courts. Pull two cards from the top of the deck, and get the third from the bottom. These are the personalities you have to embody to feel fulfilled by your passion.
SAMPLE INTERPRETATION
Your True Passion
The Empress – The card of Venus, Goddess of Love, Beauty and Harmony. Your true passion lies in romance, cosmetics, grooming, and other similar lovely things. This is also the card of femininity, motherhood and abundance. Anything to do with physical attractiveness, fertility and finances.
Its Different Forms
Six of Wands – The personality of this card is young, attractive, flashy. It embodies the physical beauty and romantic nature of The Empress. You might find your true passion in being a fashion designer, a beauty guru, a hairstylist, a makeup artist, a matchmaker, or a dating app designer.
Ten of Cups – This card embodies The Empress’ role in the family. You might find your true passion in being a wife, a mother, a nurturer – like nurses and teachers. Or it might be in being a children’s book illustrator or a cartoonist.
Seven of Pentacles – The Empress and this card share the concept of abundance and harvest. You might find your true passion in being a banker, a farmer, a financial analyst, a gardener. Perhaps a realtor or a stock market investor.
Your Path Towards Each
King of Wands – This king is confident, enthusiastic, adventurous, optimistic. If you are to find success and happiness in the fashion & beauty industry, he is the ideal you have to embody.
Knight of Pentacles – This knight is smart, reliable, patient, strategic. If you are to find joy and fulfilment in your family life or in your nurturing profession, you have be as clever as him in your approach and decisions.
Page of Wands – This page is passionate, daring, eager. He is not afraid to take risks. If you are to find completion and wealth in the finance or farming industry, his is the mindset you have to adopt and project.
As I commented in my last observation post (which by the way thanks for all the love on it!), Venus in the composite can indicate what area of life the couple usually gets together, how or where they usually come together. There are more indicators for this, but as you can imagine Venus is one of the most important things to look at in a composite and it’s always interesting to dig in all the possible meanings. As I also promised in my previous observation post about relationships, here’s a brief description of Venus on each house in the composite chart, responding to the question how the couple usually gets together.
Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia
Venus in the 1st house in the composite: it’s always the two of you together. You guys always count on eachother to go everywhere and to share everything 👩🏽🤝👨🏼
Venus in the 2nd house in the composite: you guys could make money together, go shopping, enjoy meals together, share something artistic, enjoy relaxation activities 💅🏼
Venus in the 3rd house in the composite: you guys come together when you, chat, share opinions and learn from each other. Intelectual bond. Could also live close to each other and gossip every now and then🗣
Venus in the 4th house in the composite: you guys get together at home and you could be involved with each other’s families. You could also be very interested in eachother’s past, roots, etc. Very common in couples that wanna have/be a family together 👨👩👧
Venus in the 5th house in the composite: no matter what you guys do you always have fun and laugh. Could share a lot of leisure time together constantly waking up the child inside you! 💃🏻
Venus in the 6th house in the composite: could work well together or be coworkers. Very common in couples that have some sort of routine together bc they see each other on the daily, at the same days at the same hours etc. 🚶🏻
Venus in the 7th house in the composite: I’ve noticed this is very common in couples that like to collaborate, every time they are together they are collaborating somehow. To them it’s natural being together and usually they see eye-to-eye. 👥
Venus in the 8th house in the composite: well, the obvious: sex. But this placement could also mean either one or both could be the other’s therapists. You get together by sharing your deepest darkest secrets *evil laugh* 😈
Venus in the 9th house in the composite: you get together abroad, at university or by sharing philosophical/religious view. You like living exiting experiences together, things that give adrenaline rushes even. This could also indicate a long-distance relationship 🎢
Venus in the 10th house in the composite: You guys could like be seen together in public. You like to be serious together and work towards something together, you guys like the idea of achieving or building something together 👩🏽💻
Venus in the 11th house in the composite: you get together through a sharing group of friends or community, that’s mostly the most common scenario. Also, I’ve seen this a lot in people that bond through having the same quirks 👩🏼🎤
Venus in the 12th house in the composite: you guys could come together in your dreams. Literally. But the most common scenario with this placement is a “can’t be together” vibe and so the getting together comes in the form of a platonic longing. I’ve also noticed with this placement that the couple gets together in a way that is totally out of their control (like never knowing exactly when or how).🧚♀️
Sometimes, you have no specific question. On how to move forward, you simply need some suggestions.
Step 1: Shuffle your deck.
While doing so, invoke your gods, your ancestors or your higher self, and ask for advice on how to live your best life. For the next nine steps, record the cards. Take notes or photographs.
Step 2: Look for The Fool.
The card to its left is what you should focus on. The one to its right is what you should leave behind.
Step 3: Look for The High Priestess.
The card to its left is what your intuition is wrong about. The one to its right is what your intuition got right.
Step 4: Look for The Empress.
The card to its left is what you need to wait very patiently for. The one to its right is what you can harvest very soon.
Step 5: Look for The Emperor.
The card to its left is the battle you need to abandon. The one to its right is the war you need to win.
Step 6: Look for The Hierophant.
The card to its left is a person who gives bad advice. The one to its right is the source you can trust.
Step 7: Look for The Chariot.
The card to its left is what needs to be stopped. The one to its right is what needs to be allowed.
Step 8: Look for The Hermit.
The card to its left is the question you need to ask. The one to its right is the opposite of that.
Step 9: Look for Death.
The card to its left may look like a wolf, but is a sheep on the inside. The one to its right is a wolf through and through and is trying to deceive you.
Step 10: Look for The Star.
The card to its left is the dream you should chase. The one to its right is a goal that is not worth the fight.
Step 11: Express your gratitude.
Thank the ones you invoked for their advice, as well as your cards for speaking with their voice.
The Linestrider Tarot, pictures here all taken by me.
An honest review that was asked for, enjoy! Not sponsored.
WARNING: Deck is not suitable for minors as it contains some nudity (mostly just nipples). This review contains one card that illustrates uncovered breasts (it's part of the tarot deck interview). However, none of the illustrations are sexual in nature.
𝐵𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑘
Name: The Linestrider Tarot
Creators: Siolo Thompson
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
Cards: 78 cards total (22 major arcana, 56 minor arcana), smooth, standard size and thickness
Guidebook: Available, physical guidebook, full coloured, fits inside casing, 274 pages of content
Casing: Big magnetic box
Some cards from the deck that we want to show off.
𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑘
The guidebook — It's very informative, beginner friendly but also useful for intermediate readers. It also includes some card combination meanings and astrology, dates, numbers and even plants associated with each card.
The art — I love watercolour style art! And all the colours look gorgeous on the white background.
Card quality — It's smooth, it fits perfectly in my hand and it's easy to shuffle.
𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑘
The guidebook — It talks too little about the reversals meanings like the author can write 3 long paragraphs about the upright meaning but only 1 (or even none) about the reversed meaning.
It's personality — It's too quiet and passive like when I shuffle it, I feel like nobody's there and it's just me. This might change in the future though.
The casing — Just like Dark Wood Tarot (they're from the same publisher company btw), the casing takes up way too much space for me.
𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝐵𝑒 𝐼𝑚𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑
The guidebook — Add reversals meanings.
Card quality — Some gilding would be nice because the texture of the side of the cards are a bit rough. It would also be nice if it was thicker!
The Linestrider Tarot deck interview, 04.01.2022
𝑇𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑡 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤
Q1: Please introduce yourself.
Six of Pentacles
Kind, loves to help people out, likes to make people happy, kind words, has a soft heary
Q2: What are your strengths as a deck?
Death
Will guide you through transformation, can help you see things from a different perspective, teach you to not be afraid of negative situations
Q3: What are your weaknesses as a deck?
Knight of Wands
Impulsive, disregards important stuff for favour of speed, fast thinking so might not think things through well, action oriented
Q4: What type of readings are you most suited for?
Four of Cups
When you're not satisfied with your life, when you're feeling sad/depressed, when you're in denial, when you're unable to see the blessing right in front of you
Q5: What type of readings are you least suited for?
The Emperor reversed
Readings related to abuse of power or readings for people with a domineering personality, readings related to rebellion and have no structure, readings where the person is not listening
Q6: What’s the outcome of our relationship?
Six of Wands
Success, harmonious relationship, accomplishment, acknowledgement of each other's skills, goals achieved
𝐼𝑠 𝐼𝑡 𝐵𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝐹𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦?
Yes, to a certain extent. Like I said, the reversal meanings are not much talked about but other that that, the guidebook provides a lot of information for beginners.
𝐷𝑜 𝐼 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑡?
Yes! The art is beautiful and the guidebook has something extra that other guidebooks don't usually have (associated dates, plants and numbers)!
𝑂𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑅𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 & 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔
☆★★★★ (4 out of 5 stars)
I like this deck. However, in terms of meaning, it doesn't really bring anything special, the meanings are very similar with the Original Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck. If you want a deck that's similar to that but has a different art style then this is the deck for you! I however, prefer my decks to bring something new to the table ^^
