wanderlackluster

heroin addiction and working towards eventual recovery

[the-drug-addicts-diary]

every time i think to myself: 'this sober shit is boring' i remember there were times, when i was willing to give up anything except my next dose, for a chance to be where i am today.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

459 days sober.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

974 days sober. There is hope and you can do it.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

2,731 days sober. Recovery is possible. There’s life after addiction if you fight for it.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

459 days sober.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

974 days sober. There is hope and you can do it.

[garagedad-deactivated20170827]

One day I will not have to close my eyes every time I see a needle.

One day the smell of vinegar will not make my heart start racing.

One day I will come home from work and be content with what is.

One day I will drive through my city and enjoy the view.

One day I will forget my veins exist.

One day I will be social on my own accord.

One day I will be free.

Maybe not today, but one day.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

dreams.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

Reality.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

459 days sober.

[everythingisgreener-blog]

Addict Problems

Facing a year in jail: One time won’t hurt, right?

Facing homelessness AGIAN: But, It’s just this once, they won’t find out…

Facing loosing everything: I just… Just once more, right? Like everything will be okay, its always okay…

Facing Insanity: Fuck it, fuck it all to Hell.

[wanderlackluster-blog]

well. he’s back in jail. no idea how long this time. i hope they keep him in there a few months so he can sober up and i can try and get a place for us to live once he’s out. being sober and loving an addict is hell.

oh. i forgot to mention - i’m the one who called the cops on him and told them where he was so they could serve the warrant. because i had no idea what else to do. i feel guilty as shit but he says he’s not mad and he understands. he said he felt relieved when they came to the hotel room door.

[delusionalbestie]

It seemed like everyone had a life and did drugs on the side while I had drugs and did life on the side.

my late night thoughts on addiction (via hedoescocaine)

[wanderlackluster-blog]

last night she held me while i cried and hoped this time i could get better. that this time i won’t fuck it up.

my biggest fear is someday she won’t forgive me, and her arms won’t wrap around me anymore. someday i’ll be alone.

[lucid-dreams-6669]

[wanderlackluster-blog]

johnny hobo <333

[xenophyophore-cutie-deactivated]

Don't Hate Drug Addicts

If you’ve ever known a friend or family member who is a drug addict, you know how awful it is. You know how awful it is to watch then wither away and slowly die. If you’ve ever been a drug addict you know even more so what it does to your mind and body and soul.

Addiction is just like any other mental illness that needs treated. You don’t know what got them in that situation and it shouldn’t matter. They are sick and need your help. They do not need people calling them names, talking down to them, hating them. You wouldn’t tell someone with depression to just get over it or to stop bitching, so don’t do the same to an addict.

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

Thank you for this.

[brookiecokie]

Saw this walking home today

[slimefluff]

[wanderlackluster-blog]

[wanderlackluster-blog]

so i’m a fuck up. i refused to go to my last suboxone appointment - i couldn’t. i was too scared. but i set another one, it’s for tomorrow. i already blew through both mine and my girl’s tax refund - almost $8k - mostly on dope. now we’re broke again but the appointment is paid for and she has saved back $250 to buy the subs for the first week or whatever. i’m fucking terrified. i have one last shot for today, but that’s it. it’s my last one. i hope. 

[fall-time-failures]

Don’t fall in love with a junkie We’ll sell your soul for drugs and apologize just so we can do it again

[wanderlackluster-blog]

yes. use and abuse, it’s the cycle of love... but we can change. we do change. but honestly - if you can... run. no point in staying around for this shit.

[harzburgite]

there’s nothing wrong with admitting you were once toxic.

there’s nothing wrong with admitting you made a couple people feel like shit.

there’s nothing wrong with admitting you fucked up and were horribly arrogant and parasitic.

there’s nothing wrong with admitting you did anyone wrong, especially if you’ve learned from it. If you’re humble enough to admit it, I guarentee there’s a bit of a good person inside of you. 

[wanderlackluster-blog]

there’s nothing wrong with changing yourself to be better after admitting the above.