herein lie pieces of my thoughts

hln | isfj | compsci class of 2020

[7l7l7l7l7l7l7l7]

i zoned out a few years ago and never zoned back in

[litttlestars]

"how do you get stuff done?" bitch with tears in my eyes 😭

[guooey]

Constantly repeating to myself “you are not broken you are young and learning how to live” during everything I do everywhere I go all the time

[frankiecorleone]

do it for her (your thirteen year old self)

[stuckinapril]

life is for taking therapeutic walks and being in your own bubble and reading books in bed and drinking iced beverages and eating fruit and gaining new experiences and dosing in sunlight and finding love in everything and not letting guilt consume your life actually

[coldbrewnette]

I blog for the girls who cry on their birthdays and lose a little bit of themselves during the summer months

[theorangepdf]

each summer has a different taste 

[fairycosmos]

has a breakdown about what a lonely life it is. goes for a walk with headphones in. purchases a beverage at the supermarket. you know how it goes

[boymiffy]

and when will there be a friday when i AM in love? When.

[ashstfu]

cleaning your room and reading books and buying yourself a little snack or a beverage is the equivalent of getting your life in order

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

sunday is just i have to set my computer on fire i have to do laundry i have to find god i have to make tea i have to quit my job and start a new life in a different state i have to be more honest with the people around me i have to clean my room i have to cut my hair i have to be more deliberate with my hobbies and downtime i have to make a doctors appointment i have to go back to therapy i have to start dating i have to make more friends i have to go on a long drive i have to spend 4 hours disassociating in a target i have to paint my nails i have to tell my mother i love her. but instead i will simply sit. 

[glowcowboy]

i love small joys so much!!!! yes i love my coffee in my favorite mug!!! i love the sun spilling in the window!!! i love the wind on my face!!! i love my blanket over my lap!!! i love the clouds in the sky!!!! i am seeking joy in every moment!!!!

[warmsuggestion001]

I hope u end up ok

[wanderwhilewonder]

I’m not sure when it started, but I now have an on/off switch to my feelings & emotions.

There are times where I have surely cried at work. Or during a lecture in my classroom. But being so aware of my surroundings, I will let myself cry for like 10 seconds, then I’ll turn off the switch. Those negative emotions will be shoved down so deep that I won’t deal with them anymore at present time. Sometimes I even forget they exist. It was not until midnight, when I would sit on my bed, head spinning and chest tight, will I finally snap back and feel all those I’m supposed to feel. Even then, I’m still suppressing them, wondering if I should open the box and let them out now, or if I should put a lock on it.

As someone who’s constantly putting herself in other people’s shoes, I am tired of being this way. It is mentally draining to keep putting yourself in different scenarios, and feeling all those wave of emotions. Sure, it made me a great listener; to other people. To myself? I am my worst friend. I neglect my own feelings because at the end of the day, I was too exhausted from all that I felt for other people. I could be crying in the middle of the day, reading a horrifying news, and imagining how all those affected people are feeling. One time at the office, I had to excuse myself to the toilet because what I was feeling was way too strong. I bawled inside that tiny cube for a good 5 minutes, blowed my nose, took deep breaths, and had to resume my day as usual.

I’m always torn between putting myself first by being oblivious to all those tragedies happening around the world every single day, to immediately feeling guilty that I’m not feeling for them. Which is a horrible, horrible cycle to be in. Truly. Marathons in my head have been running non stop, I wonder if the runners have circled the whole equator.

[bilover]

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

[gullahch1ld]

Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it

[moonlitswims-deactivated2024010]

no but this is so important.. it’s so important to just accept you can fuck up you’re allowed to fuck up. you’re allowed to be wrong and it won’t be shameful, it won’t be the worst thing to happen. you’ll either let it go or learn from it and not let it happen again and that’s good.

[monstress]

eid mubarak to all my muslim friends 🥰