There are so many things I took for granted in my old body that gives me so much consistent joy now. I feel wrong if I do not bind, dye the peach fuzz on my upper lip, wear the right clothes and so on, but the physical stuff just gives me relief but I would not call it euphoria, even if the others like it. We all seem to have different euphoria triggers. I have mixed feelings on the testosterone results since while the body is becoming masculine it is still not my body, and I will always miss the lines on my hands, the feel of my hair, my height and the taste of my mouth and so on, though I do want them to continue, indefinitely if possible. The social aspects are what make me the most happy every time.
Getting called "sir" or "lad" by shop assistants and cashiers is not something I am used to culturally but it feels good. Occasionally I surface when Nathan is around his male friends, I did they today and we were at the gym and I stuck around for a few reps. I felt surprisingly at home, and I used to much prefer training alone. Also getting to use the male bathroom when we go out really shouldn't be something I get excited about but it does. It makes me feel good in myself. Secure. Happy. Perhaps a little proud even. I always took my gender for granted before this, and it feels really good to get inside of why I feel like a man and in what ways it makes me happy. It might very well be something I would not have been in the position to experience if I was not a fictive.