Ain't So Afraid of Being Lost

Emma Washburne, only daughter of Zoe and Hoban Washburne. [Firefly RPer ]

[gorramxcaptain-blog]

            Got the fire of her mama an’ the tendency for insubordination             from her dad. Gorram CRICK in his neck, sure. “DOES matter,             but you’re right– that ain’t the point. Point is, I see you tryin’ to             make calls you ain’t AUTHORIZED to make. Best go off to your             room an’ remember who here’s CAPTAIN of this boat.”

[washburnebaby]

She loathed him sometimes-- anger bubbling up until it took everything she got not to yell. Only respect and FEAR of her mother’s stern looks were enough keep her voice level.  “Couldn’t forget who’s captain even if I tried.” It was barely more than a mumble. “And I ain’t makin’ calls-- that would imply I’ve got even a speck ‘a power on this here boat.”

[xberrywritesx-deactivated201701]

[fuckyeahantoniathomas]

[scr33ncaps]

[leafsoared]

Well, here goes nothing. He pushed open the door to her bunk and climbed the short way down the ladder. When he got to the bottom, he flashed her a little smile. Sometimes it really hit him just how much like Zoe she looked. And now was one of those times. “How ya doing?” He felt self-conscious. Like he was making all this harder than it had to be. But really - how did anyone just start this kinda conversation?

Wash cleared his throat and moved to sit down on the end of her bed. He reached into the pocket of his flight suit for the necklace. “So - uh- I was goin’ through some stuff and I found this. Thought you should  probably have it.” He shrugged and a sheepish smile flickered across his face. “Probably should have given it to you ages ago…” He held out the thin cord. “It was your mom’s,” he said. He sucked in a deep breath. “Uh - she had it in the war. One of her bootlaces. After it was all over, she wore it around her neck.” He gestured vaguely, as if to demonstrate but mostly he was still looking at the necklace. Damn. Those are some memories there… For a long moment, he was lost in remembering just how it looked against her skin.

Finally, he looked back up at his daughter and the tight smile softened into something warmer. He wished Zoe could see this – see her. It should be her mother passing this on, not him. And she’d have been so damn proud. The dull ache that had been in his chest for so long throbbed a bit harder. And so he went for what felt comfortable - an attempt at humor. He quirked an eyebrow at his daughter, hoping she wouldn’t see through the act ( or would at least have the decency to let him get away with it ). “I dunno if this is gonna fit with all the cool fashions from wherever the hell it is you look – but hey! When did good old sentiment ever go out of style, huh?”

[washburnebaby]

“Fine.” She scooted over to make room for her dad to sit. “What’s up?” There was a weariness to him that Emma noticed as soon as she saw his face, not that the girl would dare say anything. It’s probably about my mother. Often when Wash had to talk about his late wife, something would shift in him. It was part of the reason Emma had taken to asking Kaylee and the others ( though not Mal who had a similar if not more subtle reaction as her father ) about her mother. She knew it hurt him.

Craning her neck curiously, Emma watched as her father pulled out a worn looking leather string. Not much to look at, but as soon as he said what it was, the girl could feel a lump forming in her throat and her eyes felt a might glossy. Damn it, she was going to cry. Gently, she took the bootlace from her father, the worn was material warmer than she would have guessed it to be. Her father was speechless and when she dared to glance over at him, there was a faraway look in his eyes. Sometimes when  he talked about her mother, he looked very, very lost. Suddenly, almost all at once, he seemed to snap out of it 

With relief, Emma watched as he smiled -- though it didn’t seem a hundred percent genuine -- and played his hand at a joke. With tears still dancing behind her eyelids, the laugh she choked up was definitely real, but rough.  “You know I only wear the best designers in the ‘verse, but I think I can make it work.” She chuckled once more, but soon grew quiet, her eyes darting from the bootlace to her father. When she spoke again, her words were soft and she met his eyes when she said them. “Will you help me put it on?”

[littleprinceoftheforest-blog]

Reblog if your muse has lost one or both of their parents.

[anarchiiiivedbloggggg-deactivat]

[leafsoared]

@washburnebaby liked for a starter

He hadn’t expected to find it. Hell, it had been years since he’d seen it at all. Kept away in a box, carefully tucked on a shelf. It was easier that way. He could almost pretend that the ‘out of sight out of mind’ thing wasn’t a total crock. That he hadn’t been missing her for fifteen years, pretending to their friends - and their kid  - that he was okay. But an unexpected closet cleaning brought all that to a screeching halt the second he opened the lid of the dusty shoebox. 

Her necklace. The one she’d worn every day he’d known her.  Wash let out a shaky breath and turned it over in his hands. It felt kinda wrong. She never took it off - so why should he  be manhandling it now? It should be left in peace. With the rest of his memories of her. Especially when all it did was pick at an old wound. 

Except…. it wasn’t just his wound, was it? A stab of guilty realization panged in his stomach. Emma. There was all this stuff in boxes, stuff he’d thought was best untouched. But really it was hers. Shoulda been hers the second she was old enough to ask questions about her mom. Jesus, Washburne. How terrible at this are you?

Necklace in hand and newly determined, Wash climbed up the ladder out of his bunk and crossed the hall to knock on her door. He hesitated a second and then cleared his throat. “Em? You in there? Got a minute?”

[washburnebaby]

It had been a quiet sorta day, one of those days where not even the air in Serenity seemed to move. The ship, a little too still. The crew, a little too quiet. After the crazy of yesterday, how could she really blame any of them for the safe boredom-- but there was an antsy-ness to the girl. A year or so ago it began and since then just  built until the hull of the ship was starting to feel like the opposite of the free Mal liked to go on and on about. The bed creeked beneath her as she shifted her weight, staring up at the metal ceiling-- although her thoughts were far, far away, lost among stars she longed to explore.

Nearly grown and yet Emma didn’t know exactly what it was she longed for. The stars. That was always the go to. To explore and weave her way between stars, not as a passenger neither, but... freer. To point in a direction and be able to go, no questions asked. It wasn’t quite piloting-- though she probably had a grander knowledge of the craft than most folks her age. It wasn’t even being a part of any part of a ship. 

That tended to happen, didn’t it? The more time you spend somewhere, no matter how much you love it, there’s only so long that it can remain the only thing you’ve ever known. Serenity had always been her home. She knew no life but the rough and tumble. There had to be more. She stretched her hand up out in front of her, like she was reaching for something-- seeing just how far she could go, longing to grab hold of--

The knock startled her, and probably for the better. Thoughts like these had a habit of leaving Emma melancholy for the rest of the evening, struggling with the way to put the longing in her chest into words that wouldn’t break her father’s heart. It was his voice, actually, that followed the knock, sending a pang of guilt down her spine as Emma sat up. There was no one in the ‘verse that she cared more about than her dad. “Yup, dad! Come on in!”

[gorramxcaptain-blog]

               “—— WHO taught you that? You been talkin’ to                Jayne again? Y’know he’s a ben dan. An’ I’m not                so sure your ma would appreciate that sorta talk.                Anyway, this ain’t MY fault.”

[washburnebaby]

             “You’re avoidin’ the topic, sir.” ( Though there wasn’t              much respect in the word ) “Don’t matter who taught              me my cursin’, matters that that last job was too close!              I saw the way you all looked comin’ back and I ain’t              endin’ up an ORPHAN on account ‘a your gorram poor              judgement!”

[leafsoared]

Wash blinked, something between anger and worry rising in his throat. She was definitely trying to kill him. No question. “Look. Kiddo,” he said, voice tight with the kind of strictness it wasn’t always used to. “You’re smarter than that – I mean,  you live on this boat, for cryin’ out loud! How many examples have we got pretty clearly demonstrating that pickin’ fights with strangers is - oh, I don’t know - a bad idea?!” He was warming up to this now. “Arrested?! What the hell were you thinking?!”

[washburnebaby]

“Look, I didn’t get arrested, okay? I’m here and fine. The fight wasn’t even physical. Come on, dad. You  know me. I hate all of that, all the guns and the times  ma come back hurt. I would never do that, not to you...” She bit her lip and averted her eyes away from his. When her father started with the strict yelling, Emma knew it was bad. He was the laid back one, and yeah, maybe it stung  a bit. She’d disappointed him. “But hearing what they said, that’s mom they were speakin’ on. The words they used, what they said should have happened to them, it was sick.” Cautiously he glanced up at him, and wished she meant what she said next. “If I’d known that voicin’ my opinion would’ve gotten me into trouble, I never woulda done it.”

[leafsoared]

“Of course I listened! Your definitely-breaking-curfew  kid calls you twenty-seven times, you’re gonna listen!  I mean, call me old-fashioned, but that’s kinda how the  dad thing works… So. Before you’re mom gets back–  just tell me what happened.”

[washburnebaby]

“We got into trouble-- no, I got into trouble. There were these... guys and they were talkin’ on the war like they’d been there. And the complete go shi they were spewing! Dad! I couldn’t not say something! But, uh, turns out they didn’t much like what I had to say and... maybe... sorta... tried to arrest me.”

[serenitysalbatross]

“You two fight?”

[washburnebaby]

“No, but I’m scared that if I see him, we will.”

[washburnebaby]

//Starter call! bc I really want to be more active on this blog!

[vxlamaldoran]

“Oh? And why is that? It seems almost laughably  unguarded to me – quite ripe for the taking!”

[washburnebaby]

“You ever think just maybe it ain’t guarded cuz it ain’t worth the trouble of stealin’?”

[washburnebaby]

“I don’t blame you…”

                “… I just think that maybe if you weren’t                   such a 愛吃自己的糞[的]狗 everything                   would be okay now.”

{ @gorramxcaptain }

[eljmoretti]

sooo beautiful…..

[serenitysalbatross]

“You missed dinner. Who are you avoiding?”

[washburnebaby]

“Ain’t avoidin’ nobody... ‘specially not the captain.”

[washburnebaby]

continuation from here || @washthepilotguy

“Take it easy, kiddo. What’s with the dramatics? I’m not mad at you! Well, no. I am – it’s pretty scary when your kid doesn’t come home like you expect! Not exactly how you wanna spend your day! But I’m just glad you’re okay…. Your mom, on the other hand? Well, I’d take cover before you talk to her….”

“I know, dad. I know it’s scary and I am, I’m sorry, but-- okay, please tell me you at least listened to one of the messages I left!”