[washeir]

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#WASHEIR : highly private and selective writing blog for ben florian of d.isney's d.escendants franchise . heavily affiliated with wascoy & washook . decreed by kafziel : he / xe , aest , 21+ .

A STUDY IN ...

wanting   to   be   your   father   and   becoming   your   mother   .      boyhood   versus   kinghood   .      kindness   as   a   strength   .      empathy   ,      and   the   bravery   of   a   bleeding   heart   .      duty   ,      and   adherence   to   it   .  

other   blogs   you   can   find   me   on   :  

jay   . nick   ,      willie   .

[disneyconceptsandstuff]

Storyboards from Beauty and the Beast by Chris Sanders

[washeir]

swinging   by   to   let   everyone   know   i'm   not   ignoring   the   asks   in   my   inbox   or   my   replies   yet   to   be   done   !      i   got   quite   ill   &   it   seems   that   it   has   developed   into   pneumonia   ,      so   i'm   just   taking   it   easy   for   a   while   .      i   will   return   with   a   vengeance   as   soon   as   my   body   allows   !

[disneyconceptsandstuff]

Visual Development from Beauty and the Beast by Hans Bacher

[wascoy]

ben   florian   was   warm   and   safe   and   good,   a   trifecta   of   characteristics   that   made   all   that   flowed   from   him   —   all   mannerisms,   behaviors,   words,   actions,   attributes   —   be   laced   with   such   a   remarkably   enchanting   quality,   and   not   simply   one   of   a   juvenile   reference   to   all   of   their   fantastical   origins.   that   would   be   silly   !   but   oh,   oh,   he's   so   gentle,   so   soft   in   a   way   jane   can   hardly   fathom,   in   a   way   that   seems   like   second   nature   for   him   and   perhaps   eleventh   or   twelfth   for   her.

she   feels   an   inkling   that,   for   a   transient   moment,   she   has   said   the   wrong   thing,   chosen   the   wrong   answer   on   her   test,   so   awkward   and   improper   in   this   position   being   imposed   upon   her.   but   ben,   oh   ben   florian,   he   eases   such   a   concern   with   his   following   sentences,   pulling   jane's   pinked   lips   out   of   the   pout   they   had   formed   into,   and   into   something   offering   some   semblance   of   a   smile.

okay,   it   was   a   bit   more   than   some   semblance   of   a   smile.   it   was   a   wide   -   faced   and   ethereal   grin,   ivories   on   full   display,   nestled   in   the   dimpling   and   wrinkling   of   her   cheeks.   even   his   giggle   .   .   .   seemed   so   aristocratic,   and   yet   sophomoric   in   a   way   that   did   not   take   away   from   his   prestige   and   owed   respect,   but   added   to   it.

jane's   always   been   one   to   hear   only   what   she   wanted   to,   anyway   (   or,   at   least,   outwardly   display   that   she   hears   selectively   ).   ❝   you   really   think   i'm   smart   ?   ❞   the   question   seemed   more   befitting   asked   by   an   insecure   ten   -   year   -   old,   but   in   jane's   heart   of   hearts,   that   was   all   she   was,   and   all   she   ever   would   be.   even   on   ben's   court,   she   would   always   be   playing   dress   -   up   in   her   mother's   clothes,   knowing   that   poofy   dresses   and   wands   did   not   a   proper   fae   make.

❝   but   why   me   ?   ❞   asks   jane,   as   though   ben's   answer   would   change.   ❝   it's   not   like   i'm   the   only   one   that   knows   magic.   and   i'm   such   a   beginner   .   .   .   you   know   how   my   mom   was   with   it   all.   what   if   i'm   not   good   enough   ?   ❞

[washeir]

you   really   think   i'm   smart   ?      jane's   words   reverberate   around   the   inside   of   ben's   mind   .      no   matter   how   he   attempts   to   parse   them   ,      he   can   come   back   with   only   one   thought   :      how   can   she   not   know   ?      it   had   been   a   vague   possibility   in   ben's   mind   ,      that   jane   still   thinks   lowly   of   herself   as   she   had   used   to   .

something   forms   in   his   mind   :      a   solemn   attestation   ,      a   king's   vow   .      one   he   makes   solely   for   himself   .      this   being   ;      never   again   will   he   allow   jane   to   fly   so   low   'neath   the   radar   that   she   cannot   understand   why   she   would   be   approached   at   a   time   like   this   .      his   words   ,      at   the   very   least   ,      seem   to   have   pulled   a   smile   to   painted   pink   lips   .

her   smile   :      pulchritudinous   ,      incandescent   and   aglow   .      any   tension   still   left   in   the   air   seems   to   dissipate   at   its   presence   ,      ben   all   the   more   at   ease   for   the   dimples   on   her   cheeks   .

❝   of   course   i   do,   ❞      words   are   steeped   in   and   dripping   with   sincerity   ,      the   look   in   his   eyes   to   match   ,      ❝   i   mean   ,      grades   aside   ,      look   at   everything   you've   been   doing   this   last   year   .      you've   already   proved   yourself   a   hundred   times   over   .   ❞      something   —   a   voice   that   sounds   suspiciously   akin   to   a   younger   ben   —   whispers   softly   in   the   dark   recesses   of   his   mind   .      what   would   it   have   been   to   have   someone   tell   him   that   ,      those   years   ago   ,      when   he'd   been   scratching   and   clawing   at   the   air   in   a   fickle   attempt   to   become   his   father   .      to   become   a   king   worthy   of   such   a   title   .

he   entertains   briefly   the   possibility   that   that   ,      too   ,      is   what   is   holding   jane   back   .      that   she   may   look   to   her   mother   and   see   the   funhouse   mirror   he   does   when   he   gazes   upon   his   father   .      the   reflection   of   himself   he   will   never   be   .      fingers   twitch   at   their   perch   in   his   lap   :      fidgeting   ,      a   nervous   movement   that   lets   slip   the   thin   veil   between   the   thoughts   in   ben's   head   and   the   body   language   he   presents   .

❝   you'll   learn   .      if   you   want   to   .   ❞      those   words   stressed   ,      weighted   .      a   near   desperate   plea   for   her   to   understand   :      you   will   not   be   forced   into   anything   .      ❝   i   trust   you   .      and   if   you   want   me   to   ,      i   can   find   another   fae   ,   but   —   ❞      pause   ,      gaze   flickers   downward   ,      back   up   ,      ❝   i   don't   want   to   .      i   know   it   took   you   a   minute   ,      but   you   understand   the   auradon   i'm   trying   to   create   .      with   the   villain   kids   ,      the   barrier   ,      you   get   it   .      and   i   need   that   on   my   side   now   more   than   ever   .      i   don't   ... nobody expects   you   to   be   perfect   right   away   .   ❞

how much of this conversation , ben wonders , is him saying everything he wished he'd been told ?

[washeir]

very slowly queuing meme replies both here and on mal as i recover from actually being a real person & going to a concert yesterday , but if you want to drop in on discord ( safety#0007 ) to plot or chat , i'll be around !

[oscar-piastri]

“I’ve chosen my first official proclamation. I’ve decided that the children on the isle of the lost be given a chance to live here in Auradon. Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they’ve been abandoned.”

[washeir]

@softbrawn   said   :      ❛   you   shouldn't   be   out   here   by   yourself   .   ❜

ben   doesn't   startle   .      and   even so   ,      relief   ,      when   it's   only   gil   .      something   like   guilt   worms   its   way   in   ben's   chest   —   why   should   he   be   so   perturbed   by   the   concept   of   running   into   someone   on   the   very   land   his   father   had   once banished   them   to   ?      what   right   has   he   ?

still   ,      a   boyish   grin   ,      and   ben   shrugs   .      ❛   i   guess   i   should   consider myself   lucky   it's   you   that   found   me   ,      then   .   ❜      even here , under darkness' cloak , and no doubt the watchful eye of many who resent his family , ben cannot resist bathing in the warm glow of lightheartedness   . gil makes that much simple .     

really , he   can't   imagine   gil   being   trouble   .      it's a surface level assumption : ben knows this . you   have   to   be trouble   ,      to   a   certain   degree   ,      to   have   survived   on   the   isle   .      ben   knows   this , too .   or   at   least   ,      it's   what   he's   been   told   .

and   yet   .      and   yet   ... how at odds that is with the facets of gil he's come to know .

[washeir]

@tiderider   said   :   ❛   i’ve   never   had   anything   good   happen   to   me   when   i   trusted   others.   ❜

oh   ,      but   ben   should   have   expected   that   .   shaking   hands   card   through   his   own   hair   :      a   self   —   soothing   habit   ,      even   if   it   doesn't   strike   him   as   being   remarkably   kingly   .      ' it   doesn't   have   to   be   that   way   !      it   can   —   it   can   ...   '      his   voice   falters   .      (   ben   ignores   the   pressing   of   the   whispers   in   the   back   of   his   mind   that   say   the   king   should   know   the   right   thing   to   say   ,      should   always   know   the   right   thing   .   )

convincing   harry   trust   can   be   freely   given   will   get   him   nowhere   .      not   after   so   long   on   the   isle   .      faith   is   a   luxury   ben   is   only   now   beginning   to   realise   not   everyone   has   been   able   to   afford   .      he   steels   himself   ,      furrowed   brows   intended   to   look   formidable   only   serve   to   make   him   look   something   akin   to   an   oversized   golden   retriever   .

'   what   do   i   have   to   do   to   change   that   ,   then   ?   '         ben   fancies   that   his   father   would   roll   his   eyes   at   such   a   response   .      after   all   :      it's   not   his   job   to   extend   a   hand   to   every   wounded   animal   baring   its   teeth   .      but   ben   views   his   kinghood   differently   .      softer   ,      softer   .

[unp0ssessedasdsadsdfsdf-deactiv]

———      i   am   not   my   body   ,      not   my   mind   or   my   brain   !      i'm   not   my   thoughts   or   feelings   :      i   am   not   my   dna   !      i   am   the   observer   ,      i'm   a   witness   of   life   .

#UNP0SSESSED : an   independent & heavily   selective   private   blog   for nick of j.atp with crossover & canon divergent verses . by kafziel . he / xe , 21 + .

[weltenwellen]

Mary Oliver, from "October", Devotions

[hadesheiir]

i’m a pest. a deadly, messed up, cruel, unruly freak. a demon. the whole world knows that’s how i roll! like for real, oh, you’re so screwed. she’s one bad dude. she’ll leave you weak, and screaming. there ain’t a heart here, there’s a hole. I’M A DEEP DARK DAMAGED SOUL!!!

independent. private. selective. au mal raised by hades. crossover verses available. ©

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

❛ you have something beautiful inside of you. it’s hard for some people to tell, but it’s there. ❜

[hopeds]

“You have always wanted to caress every monster.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra (via wordsnquotes)

[wascoy]

ben    florian    was    c o r u s c a t i n g    ,    from    the    accoutrements    of    his    royal    attire    to    the    sheen    of    his    warm    &    golden    demeanor    .    truthfully    ,    it    leaves    jane    addled    —    no    need    for    her    typical    docility    as    a    veneer    for    her    defense    .    so    ,    of    course    ,    despite    her    tensing    at    the    onset    of    his    speech    ,    she    eases    into    comfort    soon    thereafter    .    oh    but    (    ...    )    her    mom    ,    of    course    her    mom    .    doting    fairy    godmother    ,    doting    fairy    godmother    that    was    quite    reluctant    to    all    matters    pertaining    to    the    barrier    .    so    it    cannot    be    her    mom    .    and    jane    is    well    aware    ,    sucking    in    a    hesitant    breath    before    making    the    briefest    and    most    intimate    of    fleeting    moments    of    eye    contact    with    ben    .

❛    it    is    a    lot    ,    ben    ,    ❜    says    jane    ,    gently    ,    dulcet    tones    not    attempting    to    graze    past    the    responsibility    he's    asking    of    her    .    ❛    but    am    i    even    responsible    enough    for    this    ?    i'm    only    in    a capella    club    ,    debate    team    ,    cheer    —    all    the    princesses    in    my    grade    level    have    nearly    double    my    extracurriculars    .    ❜    and    she    knows    it's    not    a    matter    of    most    productive    in    secondary    -    school    level    affairs    ,    not    a    matter    of    how    many    menial    groups    and    clubs    she    can    stuff    her    scheduling    with    to    look    and    feel    productive    .    but    she    clings    ,    desperately    ,    to    something    ,    anything    that    will    provide    solace    for    her    growing    anxieties    .

jane's    attuned    to    the    twisting    of    her    bedspread    in    ben's    grasp    .    she    glances    up    ,    firstly    ,    up    at    him    ,    taking    in    the    gentleness    of    his    visage    for    all    it    was    worth    .    then    ,    back    down    at    his    hands    ,    his    hands    ,    hands    that    were    august    &    sovereign    .    and    yet    ,    here    ,    with    her    ,    vulnerable    .    her    own    hands    —    velvety    ,    nails    ornamented    by    an    aquamarine    gel    polish       —    move    to    tenderly    rub    the    back    of    his    hands    with    her    fingerpads    ,    thumb    comfortingly    moving    in    a    back    -    and    -    forth    motion    at    his    wrist    .    the    soothing    comes    as    second    nature    to    jane    ,    an    instinctive    behavior    acting    as    a    complement    to    her    words    .

❛    i    want    to    help    .    and    i    will    .    ❜    it    is    a    responsibility    bigger    than    she    .    but    it    is    one    jane    knows    she    must    rise    to    .    ❛    that    —    it's        —    it's    the    least    i    could    do    ,    i    know    .    but    this    is    so    scary    .    i    don't    know    how    you    do    it    ,    all    of    your    royal    duties    .    you're    so    brave    .    ❜    she    speaks    yearnfully    ,    desperately    ,    aching    for    the    idea    that    ben's    own    courage    could    be    extracted    and    drip    -    fed    into    her    bloodstream    ,    her    being    ,    as    if    any    of    the    magic    in    the    world    could    make    her    more    ,    or    perhaps    less    ,    of    who    she    was    .

[washeir]

the   chuckle   which   falls   past   upturned   lips   could   be   called   naught   but   fond   —   ben   wonders   ,      oftentimes   ,      whether   jane   is      at   all aware   of   just   how   she   excels   .      he   wonders   whether   she's   been   told   enough   :      whether   he's   told   her   enough   ,      or   whether   she   might   be   right   to   presume   that   she's   slipped   under   the   radar   .      the   thought   is   almost   enough   to   cause   a   crack   in   the   gentle   smile   he   wears   ,      tugs   at   him   in   a   way   that   coils   something   ugly   in   his   stomach   .

he's   prepared   for   a   hundred   situations   .      prepared   speeches   to   convince   her   ,      each   of   them   laced   with   flowery   prose   &   talk   of   kingly   duty   .      dripping   with   enchantment   and   weighted   language   ;      ben   had   been   prepared   for   every   scenario   except   this   one   .      except   the   one   in   which   jane   agrees   with   precious   little   pushing   .      brows   furrow   unbidden   ,      and   to   match   them   ,      a   frown   at   gently   grazed   lips   .

❛   ...   are   you   sure   ?   ❜         there   is   some   humour   in   it   ,      ben   thinks   ,      that   he   would   come   here   so   prepared   ,      only   to   try   and   talk   jane   into   thinking   it   over   when   he   deigns   she   agrees   too   quickly.         ❛   i   just   mean   —   i   don't   expect   an   answer   right   now   .      you   can      —      you   can   take   all   the   time   you   need   .   ❜

her   dulcet   words   wrap   themselves   'round   ben's   throat   —   emotions   rising   with   bile   —   almost   suffocating   him   in   equal   parts   affection   and   disappointment   .      that   she   thinks   him   brave   is   a   comfort   to   sink   into   ,      so   long   as   ben   does   not   hold   a   magnifying   glass   too   close   to   himself   .      he   wishes   he   could   assure   her   he   thinks   the   same   of   her   :      how   brave   she   must   be   to   cling   to   herself   in   these   past   few   turbulent   years   that   have   so   changed   everyone   else   .      he   almost   does   :      the   words   saccharine   where   they   sit   atop   his   tongue   ,      waiting   at   the   floodgates   to   spill   .      he   doesn't   —   she   wouldn't   believe   him   .     

❛   hey   ,      you   wanna   know   a   secret   ?   ❜      is   what   he   says   instead   ,      leaning   just   a   mite   closer   to   jane   :      the   smile   adorning   his   lips   not   one   befitting   of   a   king   ,      but   every   inch   that   of   a   boyish   mischief   ,      ❛   i'm   not   that   brave   . you just ... keep trying to do the next right thing . and then if you fail , you try again . or you get transformed into a beast and you just have to hope there's someone smart enough nearby to shoot water in your face .   ❜ the giggle which escapes him at the recollection makes him feel altogether too young .

it   paves   way   for   a   more   grievous   expression   after   but   a   moment   .      (   and   isn't   there   something   poetic   there   ,      that   these   moments   of   stolen   youth   must   always   make   way   for   duty   ;      a   boyhood   in   exchange   for   a   kinghood   .   )         ❛   you'll   be   okay   .      i'll   be   here   to   help   you   ,      and   —   and   you're   really   very   smart   on   your   own   ,      jane   .      i   wouldn't   ask   you   if   i   didn't   know   you   could   do   it   .   ❜

such   a   statement   isn't   intended   to   PRESSURE   ,      it's   the   truth   ,      a   statement   torn   raw   and   honest   straight   from   ben's   chest   :      i   have   faith   in   you   .  

[dragvndreams]

#because the navy suit deserves some recognition

[metamorphesque]

van gogh yellow