sore throat + yelling at kids to walk = indeterminate

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@water-cops
sore throat + yelling at kids to walk = indeterminate
caddyshack
all the guards rejoice when thereās poop in the pool
When a group of teenage boys walk into the poolā¦
indoor guarding #2:
cute 4 y/o: *grins up at me*
me: hi sweetie
4 y/o: *grins*
me: *watches water*
4 y/o: *splashes my feet*
me: what--did you just splash me?
4 y/o: *grins*
me to me: Iāll let it slide b/c sheās cute
4 y/o: *splashes again and as I look down I see water come out of her mouth and onto my feet*
me: what are you---are you spitting?
4 y/o: *grins*
me: donāt spit! No spitting, okay?
4 y/o: *grins and swims away w/o a care in the world*
āI just love getting hit on by old men,ā said no lifeguard ever.Ā
or 9 y/o boys
when you canāt remember...
how it feels to guard normally because youāre on your third hour of being stuck in the plunge pool and your toes have turned to pale prunes
if Iām staring at you...
IāmĀ
a) trying to recognize you
b) trying to see if youāre chewing gum
c) watching you for trouble-making behavior
orĀ
d) Iāve zoned out... we do that more often than you want to know
indoor guarding #1:
little girl: *runs on gradient shoreline*
me, tired: shhhhh
girl: *keeps running*
me: ...
me to me: I was supposed to say āwalk pleaseā