Water Cops @water-cops - Tumblr Blog

sore throat + yelling at kids to walk = indeterminate

caddyshack

all the guards rejoice when there’s poop in the pool

When a group of teenage boys walk into the pool…

indoor guarding #2:

cute 4 y/o: *grins up at me*

me: hi sweetie

4 y/o: *grins*

me: *watches water*

4 y/o: *splashes my feet*

me: what--did you just splash me?

4 y/o: *grins*

me to me: I’ll let it slide b/c she’s cute

4 y/o: *splashes again and as I look down I see water come out of her mouth and onto my feet*

me: what are you---are you spitting?

4 y/o: *grins*

me: don’t spit! No spitting, okay?

4 y/o: *grins and swims away w/o a care in the world*

“I just love getting hit on by old men,” said no lifeguard ever.

or 9 y/o boys

when you can’t remember...

how it feels to guard normally because you’re on your third hour of being stuck in the plunge pool and your toes have turned to pale prunes

if I’m staring at you...

I’m

a) trying to recognize you

b) trying to see if you’re chewing gum

c) watching you for trouble-making behavior

or

d) I’ve zoned out... we do that more often than you want to know

indoor guarding #1:

little girl: *runs on gradient shoreline*

me, tired: shhhhh

girl: *keeps running*

me: ...

me to me: I was supposed to say ‘walk please’

Water Cops