"lame"

my life is art and memes /// I can not be normal about the things I like/// Spontaneous 26y/o who is just trying to be happy

[imeverycliche]

I feel like movie Grace and Rocky are both extremely ADHD compared to book Grace and Rocky who are more just violently autistic

[the-thirteenth-prime]

I see half the fandom characterizing Adrian as patient and selfless, and I see the other half characterizing them as bitter and unaccommodating, and I also see the joking and non joking 'what if Rocky were the trolley operator' fics and ideas, and I've come to the conclusion that you all are missing the beauty of the superior third option that is Adrian also being traumatized and feral over their mate.

Thank about it. Rocky's a spitfire and bounces off the walls at baseline and they looked at that little autistic, bossy ball of energy and went 'yes. that's them. the creature I want to spend the next 500+ years with'. They have to at LEAST match their energy somewhat. And if you think you wouldn't be a fucking ball of PTSD and bitterness at your culture and society after fifty plus years of not knowing they were alive or dead, you're fucking operating on moon logic. Honestly, Adrian and the other families were probably begging for a rescue mission that never happened for various political and logical reasons; and while it probably would have ended in mass fatalities as well, so thank goodness that figurative and literal ship never got off the ground, the fact that it didn't happen probably burns more than a little, reasonable or unreasonable.

So one day Adrian gets some Eridian diplomat on their doorstep, and they're expecting the formal condolences at long last, but instead they go into this whole spiel of ' so. So! Turns out twenty two of the original crew died, but your mate survived! When did they die? Oh, early on, so your mate was submerged in crippling and literal deafening loneliness for over four decades; and now he's back and acting weird, and he's become codependent with this weird fragile squishy human being that's the only reason he came back at all, and he's refusing to send down the cure unless we make the blob an aquarium. Could you come to the space elevator and tell him to stop being so unreasonable?' If that were MY mate? I'd fucking lose it.

Just throwing things at this poor messenger and shrieking like " Oh! Oh!! So it's somehow Rocky's fault that you're refusing to take a few months out of the several hundred Eridian years we have left to ship the cure we already have to Threeworld before things actually become problematic to make sure one of the two saviors of our entire species doesn't die?! To give the sole survivor of the mission--my mate, who's been alone and in silence, with no one to watch him sleep, for hundreds of years--some sort of solace and peace?! And you're wondering why he's acting erratically?! Maybe you wouldn't be in this position at all if you'd sent the rescue mission for which we've pleaded for years at every single thrum! I don't care if this Grace thing is a literal giant space amoeba; get the fuck out of my house and tell the powers that be to give it literally everything it wants and needs!" And they're all 'be reasonable' and Adrian's like " I've been reasonable for hundreds of Eridian years, and you would not be in this situation if you'd actually sent a rescue mission and not simply wrung your claws and hoped for the best, so fucking live in the nest you made. All I'm going to do if you get me on the radio with Rocky right now is tell him he's doing amazing and give him advice on how to properly parboil the Taumoeba so that you can't even recover even the slightest scrap of DNA if you don't give the flesh blob that saved his life and saved OUR lives PLURAL goddamn vitamins." Like, they think it's bad that Rocky basically stands over Grace's sleeping body and hisses? Wait until they get the MUCH LARGER ERIDIAN doing that for Grace and Rocky. Wait until the much large Eridian leads the families of the dead twenty-two crewmates to the space elevator to riot because this sure sounds like a coverup to them!! This sure sounds like the deflection of blame on the sole survivor!! This sure sounds like the same paralysis that left them to die alone in space because you didn't want to admit failure!! Yes, I know, I'm weaving some sort of political intrigue plot that probably doesn't exist in canon. All I'm saying is that you all are missing the delicious implications of a mission that went radio silent for fifty plus earth years with no word from the government and no obvious attempt at rescue, followed by your partner coming home with the only being that's been around to watch him sleep since the rest of the crew died forty-some years ago, and people are calling him weird and changed. You'd be horrified. You'd be sick.

You'd be pissed the fuck off at every body of power that let this happen.

[ecobanshee]

This is some of the most straightforward characterization Grace gets in the book and it's hilarious

[akdw]

absolute perfection in a single paragraph. From this, we can see:

Grace has a warped self-perception. He insists he's not a "people person" but gets along with majority of the crew, is a literal middle school teacher who the kids love

he's so sassy bro. "I seem friendly only bcuz I stood next to Stratt"

also establishes why so many ppl thought Grace was second-in-command, like he's usually always standing next to Stratt

Grace just does not know how important he is to the project lol

[foralittlewile]

Also consider: this behaviour continues when he's on Erid.

Like Grace is sitting there going "man it's kinda crazy the Eridians are being so nice to me. I know Rocky probably bullied them into helping the weird human but I still appreciate it. Hope they don't think the effort is a waste when I die in 40 years! :)"

And meanwhile the Eridians are like This Alien Rocketed Into Our Lives And Saved Our Whole Species From Annihilation And Then Gave Us Unfathomable Knowledge From The Stars. And Also He's So Nice We Love Him. Fights were breaking out left and right over who would get to work on the dome. Adrian won because of nepotism and sheer intimidation factor.

[foralittlewile]

Tbh, I think everyone getting very attached to Tall Adrian™️ kinda makes them miss the potential of the canon reality that Eridians average at 50cm tall.

Grace is living on a planet of toddler sized rocks with twice his strength. If at ANY point he forgets to look where he’s going he is Going Trip Over An Ambassador. Unstoppable force vs. immovable object except Grace is very much stoppable.

Eridians either get used to talking to his shins, craning on their tippy toes to get a good look at his face, or begin forcing him to sit criss-cross applesauce for literally any important meeting. Picture him joining the Erid equivalent of a UN press conference and having to curl up his awkward water body and hug his knees for the whole thing.

He can conceivably be picked up by an alien the size of a hard helmet against his will. He’s surrounded by space roombas with perfect memories and attention spans shorter than his San Francisco classroom who can’t believe he’s incapable of solving complex math in three seconds. He has step stools around his house for them to climb so he can feel like he’s “looking them in the eye” even though Eridians think that’s stupid since they lack both eyes and directional perception.

His students are probably all palm sized. Once he starts teaching he’s fighting cuteness aggression all day every day. They could all break his fingers with hands the size of a button. That knowledge does not stop his cuteness aggression. THIS IS GRACE’S REALITY.

[foralittlewile]

Rocky spends the last few weeks traveling to Erid hyping up his MASSIVE rock spouse, Adrian is the TALLEST Eridian currently living, YES Rocky is smug about it, and Grace is starting to sweat. What if Adrian can't fit on the ship? What if Grace doesn't get to actually befriend Rocky's spouse until he's actively dying? That would suck. He's kinda freaking out about it.

They dock at the space elevator. The lights from the Hail Mary illuminate the waiting party. A teal carapace rises high and above the rest of the crowd, getting closer, closer, cl-

And then Grace is right next to Adrian. Who comes SOLIDLY up to his thighs.

Oh.

“No no, don’t get me wrong Rocky, Adrian is CLEARLY Eridian LeBron James. I’m just saying that felt like a lot of unnecessary build up.”

“Adrian correct impressive size, not ungainly squishy skyscraper. Like some aliens Rocky could mention.”

[teashadephoenix]

i was watching the karaoke scene again last night and genuinely like it fucks me up

bc in no way can be read that she was always gonna send grace on the hail mary, or that she suspected or knew she was going to have to send him.

when she sings, it is absolutely to him, but it's to reassure him that she knows she's going away but that she's coming back. she's telling him to hang in there, that it's going to be hard but that she believes in him and that she will come back when the time is right and they'll meet again somewhere far away from here.

that's the captain of the ship telling her first mate "youre gonna have to run things when im gone but its okay bc i believe in you and youre gonna do fine. I'll be back soon."

she KNOWS she's a scapegoat. she's been planning for her arrest and eventual escape the whole time on the backburner.

and then the disaster happens and she has to send her second in command, her friend, to his death or they all die.

and suddenly there is no more "we'll meet again someday" bc she's never gonna see him again. even if everything goes to plan and she escapes and the beetles arrive with a solution-- she loses grace forever.

if that doesnt just fucking gut you, if youre too busy being mad at her for killing grace to appreciate the fucking tragedy that is their relationship, you are missing out on some prime angst.

[kiapet2]

It's commonly accepted in this fandom that humans have extremely fragile bodies in comparison to Eridians, but I think that's actually an oversimplification.

Because while Eridians are incredibly strong and tough on the outside, on the inside they are actually quite fragile:

They have no immune system, so anything that makes it past their enclosed carapace and internal heating will pretty much kill them

They have no natural defenses to radiation of any kind

In general they have very little organic matter so anything that targets their cells directly is quickly lethal

They are partially cold-blooded and live at a very narrow temperature range (about 20 degrees C)

They rely almost entirely on one, highly developed sense and are helpless if deafened (can't even remember the layout of a room)

They are completely helpless while asleep and can't control when that happens

They will forcibly become dormant after eating AND when badly hurt enough (their equivalent of going into shock)

They require more energy to function than humans do, and have very little organic matter to burn in the case of starvation

In contrast, humans:

Have an aggressive immune system and internal mechanisms for dealing with cell damage

Have adrenaline which allows them to temporarily ignore injuries and perform abnormal feats of strength

Are persistence hunters built for economy of movement and capable of extreme levels of endurance

Exist in a very wide range of habitats and on a diverse diet

Are very hardy in general, able to survive massive injuries, lack of sleep, prolonged starvation, and intense environmental conditions if given proper care

The quintessential example of this dichotomy between strength and endurance is the Going Fishing incident in the book: Rocky is able to survive and move in G forces that are killing Grace and to physically wrestle off the chair crushing him, but he collapses from his injuries almost immediately after. Despite being injured himself Grace then carries his 400lb friend up a ladder, is badly burned returning him to his atmosphere, and then proceeds to get some basic medical care, hype himself up on pain meds and keep working (albeit rather badly, lol) while Rocky forcibly sleeps.

The TL:DR is that Eridians are harder to damage, but easier to kill. They're like an rpg character with high armor and low health. I think Rocky would consider Grace to be very delicate at first, only to be blown away by how deceptively tough his friend can be.

[rookenby]

Everyone's so focused on Grace's primary hypothesis (life doesn't need water) remaining unsupported that you're ignoring his secondary hypothesis (the Goldilocks zone is for idiots) being proven correct

[ravioli-bitchlet]

Still at the fucking restaurant and by restaurant I mean Yáo Li-Jie going into the coma and dying, still believing that his crew was there voluntarily. By restaurant I mean Olesya Ilyukhina believing she will get to teach her friend EVA stuff, getting put under thinking she will see Tau Ceti and be there to support the man who chose to sacrifice his life in less than three hours. By restaurant I mean Yáo thinking he will get to witness the discovery of their solution with his friends by his side. By restaurant I mean Grace waking up with two bodies next to him, terrified, light years away from home, and still deciding to give them proper funerals because he knew, instinctively, that he used to love those people and that they deserved better than rotting away on a spaceship denying them proper burial at home.

[a-real-hum4n]

shout out to book!grace, who blasted himself with 29 atmospheres worth of 210c (410f) degrees hot straight ammonia, in the hopes that rocky would survive. who carried rockys whole 168kg (370lbg) down ladders in a make-shift carrier. who turned around for rocky, fully expecting to die of starvation. sigh. who was just a little bit more of a bitch than movie!grace (whats that one quote where hes like "if i had a nickel for every parent i wanted to slap during my career, id have enough to fill a sock and hit them with that instead"). who was purposefully given memory loss, so he wouldnt sabotage the mission (something he threatned many times). who wasnt "friendless", like he was depicted in the movie. i miss you so bad. you were everything.

[ellebumblebee]

I lovelovelove the "Grace is a predator at heart and is built for speed and instincutal action, which scares the ever loving FUCK outta Rocky" posts, so I'm gonna expand upon it a bit.

- Eridian scientists and doctors doing their best to help him when they first get to Erid. A few weeks in, he's in and out of consciousness but doing better, a doctor (in a xenosuit obviously) comes in to check on him, sees he's asleep, so goes to examine him closely, because, you know, alien. Grace, who was only dozing, jerks away so fast it gives poor Dr Limestone a heart attack.

- the rest of the doctors make an agreement to give Grace plenty of warning before coming near him when he's half asleep again. Rocky explains that yes, Grace just is that quick, and he knows when things are going down.

- when the biodome is done, Grace and Rocky take a trip around it and explore. Rocky thinks it will be funny to throw a stone at Grace. Grace friend has no sound perception, silly. Grace can't view things when he's facing away, Grace will never see it coming. Grace hears Rocky scuffling around and gets the weird human sixth sense, so turns at the last second and catches the rock mid air, in one hand, then skims it across the water. Rocky is VERY unnerved, and also cant work out which bit is more impressive, the catch or the skim.

- later, when teaching the pebbles, they go on a heavily supervised trip into the biodome. One little pebble breaks off and hides in a rocky outcropping. Teacher Grace will never find them here. Cut to Grace stalking through the rocks like a true predator, all senses straining, and eventually snags the wayward rock and carries it back to the group. None of the other pebbles consider going AWOL again. Teacher Grace can find them.

- Grace deciding he needs more exercise, so going for runs around the biodome. He decides to go for endurance. Rocky comes to visit only to watch in horror as Grace runs for an hour pretty much straight. "How long can you do that for, question?" "With proper hydration and calorie intake, and rests, pretty much as long as I like." "What the fuck, question."

[saym0-0]

another teacher grace moment i love is when rocky gives him the oxygen model he goes 'i dont have one of these thank you!' like that is THE most teacher response ever when a child gives them something utterly incomprehensible but made with love

[bugsnbites]

Picture it. Decades after the world is saved, a huge alien spacecraft touches down on earth.

Scientist, politicians, and thousands of reporters gather to witness the aliens disembark the ship. A group of boulder-like creatures, clicking and whistling to the humans around them.

One of them raises something large and metallic towards the crowd.

There's an immediate recoil of fear (is it a weapon?!) before the audience realises it's human technology. A laptop, old and beaten and looks like it was put back together by a drunk.

The alien presses a button.

"Hello Earth, this is Doctor Captain Ryland Grace. These guys are Eridians and they're here on a shopping trip. I have a list and no money, but I did save the world so that has to count for something. Number one, salt and vinegar chips. Actually anything potato. Number two, I miss apple juice. Number three,"

[sufferingink]

things that I believe in my HEART are on the Beatles' message to Earth (Project Hail Mary)

taumoeba (obviously)

instructions on how to use taumoeba (obviously)

50+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace fucking up a bunch of stuff in the ship

so much info about Eridian language

1700+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace and Rocky fucking up a bunch of shit in the ship

Cannot emphasize how much info on the eridian sentence structure there is here

a weirdass knit sweater pattern that takes people weeks to realize is for Rocky

literally hundreds of pages of Grace just describing Eridian linguistic history which like honestly isn't even his field why should we even listen to this guy- (hes the only one to ever fucking met an intelligent alien Dave. we'll take him at his word)

Why the Goldilocks Zone is for Idiots Part 2: Biological Diversity all across the Petrova Line (subtitled "We haven't found them yet BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT FUDHING EXIST-")

what are essentially just those reaction videos "Alien watches Legally Blonde for the first time" "Alien gives thoughts on movie Cats (2019)" "You'll never believe what this Alien thinks of the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox"

Grace's modified cardigan charts because someone was asking for them on his Ravelry and he never actually got around to posting them

(people have already fully recreated this cardigan just months after his launch. but they appreciate it)

very respective, kind eulogies for everyone who died in this mission (Grace AND Rocky's crew)

a lace shawl pattern inspired by the petrova line with a beaded fringe. knitters everywhere weep in despair because those instructions are gOD AWFUL, the man had 0 (zero) test knitters AND THERES NO PICTURES FUCK

Rocky make Grace cringe compilation statement

Grace's final goodbye to Earth ig

[puppetmaster55]

suddenly thinking about the courtroom scene, of Stratt being accused of pirating literally everything, and Grace later having everything in the various computers aboard his ship that he gave a copy to Rocky without issue, and the beetles having such a massive memory capacity and...

Stratt was a historian. She wasn't just pirating for the sake of entertainment for the astronauts, she was doing a full historical backup of the planet. Who knows how much knowledge and communications ability, how much art and culture and history, how much niche knowledge of how to make specific pieces of modern technology or modern medicines, was lost as the wars for resources isolated everyone, as the death tolls led to the deaths of specialized trade workers and scientists, as the power grids failing across the planet (or cut off, potentially) led to all the cloud servers going dark. Stratt was facing methods of combating extinction and she did her best to ensure that if/when the Hail Mary worked, it would send back not just the hope of the future in the solution to the astrophage, but the restoration of history and culture and knowledge.

Just.... she pirated everything, and put it all on the Hail Mary.

[ultrasequel]

I keep hearing “grace wears science pun shirts to break the ice with his students” “aww grace wears those shirts to make science more interesting to kids”. Bullshit dude, in all of the classroom scenes he’s wearing business casual. His dumbass science shirts are for the love of the game and nothing else

[scarlct-vvitch]

project hail mary is insane bc the first half is like oh my god the world is dying and there's alien bacteria eating the sun and there's some guy alone on a ship and he's having a breakdown and the flashbacks are getting darker and this is a tragedy the likes of which i have never seen. then BAM andy weir says fuck you actually. here's this pokemon guy he's here to save the day with the power of friendship. and it's the best thing you've ever seen in your life

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Your partner came back from the dead after being missing for decades. Every one of their friends who they went with ended up dying a horrible death.

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

Your name is Adrian, and you kind of wants to strangle this fucking fish, statement.