(There is a mini ramble session at the end of this for those interested)
I thought the door was locked
It hadn't opened for weeks and weeks
I was trapped in that room
The room filled with sickness
The room filled with sorrow
The room without sobriety
I had accepted the door will never open
I would never find the key
I would die here defeated and damned
I was at the tipping point
Begging for life to get just a bit better
Begging for a sliver of hope to set me free
As i sat on the floor a broken mess
I could see the slightest glimpse of light
It sparked a fire in my eyes
For the first time in an eternity
I had faith freedom could be possible
I encouraged myself to stand up
I marched into the light behind the door
My pain burned out my mind
My doubt burned out my soul
I will return to the room someday
I know the light is temporary
But when im locked behind that door
Ill have the knowledge it'll open someday
In the meantime, I should enjoy my time in the light
With the sobriety (mostly!)
Ramble: For the past few weeks, I have genuinely felt defeated and hopeless. My recent poetry and rants on here perfectly detail it, if you havent read it (not saying you have too, the themes are heavy!). Ive been so so so sick, more than usual. Its been a really really rough patch. I genuinely considered giving up, i thought id never feel better again. Every single night I was using weed, opioids, and anything else I could get my hands on. I spent about 90% of the time I had at home crying, praying for things to get better (im not even religious). But,last night and today have felt so much different. I went to bed completely sober last night, I went to bed with a smile on my face. This morning I woke up happy and healthy. Its almost an unfortunately feeling, but ive never felt better out of my comfort zone. My faith in myself has restored so so so much in the past 24 hours, I genuinely have hope for the future. If days like these can keep happening, I feel like i can keep going. I won't have to give up, cause I'll have something to look forward too. I am genuinely so grateful for anybody who reads this or who has ever taken the time to talk to me and make life worth living in the times its rough, I love you all so so so much! Thank you <3
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
titsay
areudirty
