Love, Lust, Laughs, And Other Things

Cali life, military, and gay.Instagram/snapchat- way2blu4u. YouTube channel: Jackie Roofy

[dumbassbiinlove]

Hey lgbts!! Rb this with your sexuality and height let’s see how many of y’all are really short ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m Bi and 5’4

[way2af4u]

Lesbian 5’3

[aidashakur]

“6 months from now I will be in a different situation.”

Speak it into existence.

[foxyj26]

A better situation

[yllwlotus]

A healthier, more peaceful, positive situation.

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

A sexier situation

[way2af4u]

A more fit, degree having, emotionally fit, not lonely, and sexier situation.

[thegoodvybe]

[astrologymax]

daily pictures for all signs!

[way2af4u]

Slowly

Slowly, my thoughts come to a halt when you speak so damn intelligently on trans issues. My own mind thinks to itself. “This individual is stunningly beautiful quite frankly breath-taking both inside and out.” Instantanously, I recoganize this is someone I want to supply life to. My organic internal clock ticks and time reduces slowly. The first time in my existence, I am hit by an invisible train. I’ve been struck with how beautiful her mind is. My mind whispers “pour your powerful knowledge onto me and let your thoughts fill the glass in which my brain resides”. Naturally, I want everything that is her.

Slowly, I process everything you say, speaking about all the battles you fought. Some you’ve won, some still in battle. Tears dwell in my eyes to the point my vision is blurred. As if it was a sick dream, I blink in hopes that it isn’t true and she in fact hadn’t been through such hardships. My tears drop, my vision clears, and I see her smile radiating back at me as if she was wearing the scars of her life like plated armour. The strength helps breaks the exterior blows and protects her heart’s interior from bursting out. It wasy to see how her heart is so largely bleeding with love looking for someone to return the same. Hopefully I can penetrate that armour and unlock the shackles that imprision her heart. Manifest what’s been there all along. Naturally, I want all of the affection she can supply so I can return it expanded.

[bled]

[way2af4u]

Sitting here

So I’m sitting here in front of your house. It’s the first time you’ve invited me over and honestly my body is freaking out. I have sweaty hands, butterflies in my stomach, and I’m all choked up. But there’s a part of me that has been crying tears of joy since I last saw you, earlier today. Regardless, my soul releases these emotions because it knows how it feels to be around you. Your smile. Your giggle. Your little character voices you do. Makes me forget where I am in that moment. I just hope these feelings never fade, I doubt it will.

[neckkiss]

[kushandwizdom]

I love my solitude but I was meant to be a lover.

Rachel Wolchin

(via kushandwizdom)

[blackness-by-your-side]

[way2af4u]

Wait for me

I hope she knows she is loved. I, at no point, appreicate that she’s being treated poorly. Actually it’s keeping me awake at night. I know she’s just holding onto hope, thinking circumstances will change. However, you can’t make the seasons change. They do it on their own.

How weird it must feel when they lay next to her knowing she is my soulmate. How it must hurt them knowing she doesn’t deserve to put up with bullshit like this. We all know that I’m fully capable of returning the love and acceptance she puts into the universe.

I realize this is not going to flip around over night. But that’s perfect, I’ll focus on working on myself. I have some loose ends I need to tie up. I have some chapters I need to end and books I must close. I’ve already taken myself off of the market and have thwarted some bad habits. The temptation is overwhelming but this is what I need to do for myself.

So I ask her to wait for me. Wait for me while I fix myself. Yes, I’m a catch but I know I can be better. So wait for me. What’s a year? I can get into shape, become healthy, relax more, work on my mental health, and spend some much needed time with my family. I’ll just be myself and let you decide if you want to wait. I already know you will. Just as I’d wait for you.

I know I could easily be there for you, with you, in the moment. Time is not a tangable measurement when I was in your company. I’d rather measure it in experiences. One down, a million more to go. Prepare yourself we have a whole lifetime.

[way2af4u]

The first time I hugged you

The first time I hugged you too many feelings were erupting inside me. Yay I get to hold her in my arms! PUH-LESE I’ve been waiting for this moment since we met. uhhh I hope I don’t smell bad. Waittttttt, I don’t know about this though. Don’t get aroused, don’t get aroused. Ok, yup I seriously can’t wait for this moment. Ok here it goes I’m inviting her into my arms.

Then bam. Our bodies embraced. All the sudden the world was in slow motion. But my heart was going a mile a minute. The streets weren’t so dark at 2am. But I felt like I was holding all things light in my arms. My breathing increased. This... this is why I’m alive. This felt like she was the right key to my locked door. My shoulders relax because theres no more reason to be so up tight. She’s reading me and my body language. My musles ease up but I continue to keep her pulled into my body. Letting her know I don’t want to let her go.

My arms separate from the forearm grasp I had on you. Instead, I place both my hands on your back, opened palm. I use my thumbs to caress your back, the way I was taught how to show affection by my mother. You let out a slight noise. Responding with a cracked voice, I ask if you’re ok, clear my throat, and ask again. I hear you say yeah. In the same way I felt when our bodies first pressed against each other.

Car still running, doors still open. The crisp fall California air surrounds our bodies but we continue to remain warm from how our torsos matched each other’s stances equally. The hold remains the same, neither willing to let go. No hesistation, just a peaceful moment between two incomplete souls, finding there is a chance to be complete. So many thoughts go through my head. 

WHY are you letting him treat you this way? You’re so much stronger than that. I believe in you. Even if you don’t want to be with me, just for God’s sake don’t allow him to treat you this way. I know you’re a smart woman, you’ll figure it out. Just protect yourself, you’re the one you’ll always have.

Ever had one moment, just one moment that changed everything in the world? This was my moment. Many years I faced hardship, break ups, and loss of most of my loved ones. The day right before, to be exact, I lost my great grandmother. There was no purpose for me to break the bond we were sharing in those moments. I never wanted to leave. 

[way2af4u]

A moment in time

      Earlier this week I asked you out to drinks. We decided to go out for a few. I suggested the place because I’m not a big beer drinker but immedietly I enjoyed being there with you. 

We spoke about our families and up bringings. We went into our red flags so quickly. For the first time in a long time, nothing else existed outside of our little table that was equiped with a purse hook you pointed out so excitedly.

I looked into your soul as you spoke about your life and immedietly I wanted to hug you and tell you how strong you are, every damn day. From the very moment I met you, I’m drawn to you. Like lightening bugs to the woods. I go.

We spoke about the situation you are currently in and how we feel towards each other. But I know that I have to be patient for a while. You need time to process what you’re going through and even if that stops for the better, you will still need time to process that change.

Until the day comes that I can open to you about that night, I will remain right here and be there for you as much as you need. I know it’s not much but it’s all I have to give.

[wnq-writers]

smile child. make peace with broken things. the healing will come.

Chelsea Skye,  writing prompt #32: write about healing (via wnq-writers)

[way2af4u]

Things I would say to her, if she was here.

When did you know? When did you know I was gay? Apparently you knew, I didn’t, but you did. At 14 I asked what would you think if I dated a Cuban guy. You told me you’d accept me and my significant other, even if it was a girl. Puzzled I never knew why you said it like that, today I know.

How do I make your chili? I miss the way you allowed me to put in the tobasco in my own bowl and always put it over rice. My favorite.

Im starting to get sick. Can you make me cream of wheat with the lumps and make it sweet just the way I loved it when I was a child?

Would you scold me for wanting to cut my hair so short? You were always so particular about our hair, being a hair dresser.

Would you hold me when I cry? Jus like you did while I was 12 and that boy in my school died. I’m still that sensitive little girl.

Would you call me Jacq or Jacquelyn? Now I don’t despise Jacq. But even then when you said it, it was special and only for you.

I would send your ass back to college and have you finally get a degree. You were always smart and a great people person. We could have went to college together.

I promised you when I could I would take care of you. That’s why I got a job at 13. I gave you some of my paychecks to help with the bills because I know it wasn’t easy bringing up Emily and I alone. But you did it, for a very long time and I appreciate and admire you for your love and strength throughout.

I always wonder what it would have been like to come home for the holidays. Be able to sleep in my old bed, in the room I grew up in. Continue our little trio style family traditions. I wonder how you would have handled me bringing home a girl for Christmas. But all that I’ll never know.

I wish I could know what our holidays would be like as adults. I can see you wanting to order pizza and it being the best ever.

I wish you were still here today. I have such a soft heart. But a hard exterior. Everyone notices it. I never wanted to be like this. But life has made me this way.

You told me to take care of Emily. Mom, I tried my best. It’s so hard when I have to step back and let her life her life. I can’t protect her forever but you know, I’ll keep my promise and do my best.

Mom, what about me? Who’s taking care of me? Who’s here to hold me? I can’t be the emotionless protector. It’s too much. My heart can only take so much. I need love too. I want to be considered. I want someone to check in on me and say hey kid, how’s it going? I reach out to everyone in our family and the connection just isn’t there.

I feel like I don’t belong sometimes.

[hiiilife20]

This is a word

[sobeitjayt]

[successfulling]

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