*WEIRD/SISTER

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

[devilsinthechurch-deactivated20]

    ✕. Sending 👏 shit 👏 to 👏 someone 👏 about 👏 someone 👏 else 👏 on 👏 anon 👏 is 👏 still 👏 technically 👏 anon 👏 hate. 👏

[great-tweets]

[justanormaldad-blog]

reblog this if your muse is Not Straight

[yourpaljughead]

psa; im sick and tired of the negativity towards this show. don’t like it? that’s fine, but don’t wave it around like a flag that makes you cooler than us. i love this show. i loved this episode. i’m promoting only positivity. you wanna be negative? do it in private and DO NOT shame ANYONE for loving this show. that is all.

[toprovokemoved]

the one where chandler bing needs to chill out | ask meme

“no you didn’t get me! it’s an electric drill. if you get me, you kill me!”

‘donald duck never wore pants, but when he got out the shower he always put a towel around his waist. i mean, what’s that about??”

“they ate my last stick of um, so i killed them. do you think that was wrong?”

“wow i’m a duck i go quack quack i’m happy all the time!”

“so i can’t fire joseph, but i can sleep with his wife.”

“it’s not me, it’s my character!”

“he seduces his coworkers wives for sport and then laughs about it at the watercooler the next day.”

“no freakshow, she’s fictional!”

“TIME FOR BAYWATCH.”

“we can just stay in and cook for ourselves? *maniacal laughter*”

“take off your shirt!”

“you know those big streetsigns that say merge? i was thinking we could get one to hang over my bed. MERGE!”

“neat! i’m gonna die alone!”

“if i’m gonna be an old lonely man, i’m gonna need a thing. a hook. like that guy on the subway that eats his own face. so i figured i’ll be crazy man with a snake. you know CRAZY SNAKE MAN! i’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. kids’ll walk past my place and they will run. RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!”

“it’s 6:30 in the morning, we’re not working out. it’s over.”

“so, it looks like this internet thing is here to stay, huh?”

“yeah don’t worry about me, i’m fine. FUNG HA!”

“if i helped we could FIND THE FASTER.”

“her ankle is what you’re watching??”

“just doing her job.”

“will you marry me? will you… marry me? hey. you marry me.”

“no you can’t have my jacket, then i’ll be cold. you thought you were gonna be cold you shoulda brought your own jacket.”

“HEY! i don’t know why i did that.”

“i was making a coconut phone with the professor.”

“my girlfriend is out there thinking things over, YOU MADE ME GIRLFRIEND THINK!”

“yes, we know there are magazines with pictures of naked women in them.”

“i think it’s great you work here, you’re gonna make a lot of money and here’s your first tip: don’t eat yellow snow.”

“being with her has been like being on a vacation..?”

what may be perceived as high maintenance, is merely attention to detail. and… generosity of spirit.”

“have you figured out what started the fire, mr fireman?”

“hold the phone, you’re not elizabeth’s dad?”

“boy did we make friends with the wrong sister.”

“i don’t think you should say that even when you are healthy.”

“come on now ya big faker!”

“yes honey, i made it myself.”

“nice camouflage, for a minute there i didn’t see you.”

“i’m sorry, we don’t have your sheep.”

“i’ve just realised i can sleep with my eyes open.”

“look i took a test and it turns out i do put my career before men.”

“i am not BLAH, i am a HOOT.”

“someone on the subway licked my neck, LICKED MY NECK!”

“DEAR GOD THIS PARACHUTE IS A KNAPSACK!”

“all right, rock paper scissors for who has to tell her to leave.”

“sometimes i hold stuff like this and pretend i’m a giant.”

“i’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner, i rarely get to practise my meals before i eat.”

“oh that makes me feel warm in my hollow tin chest.”

“i say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.”

“hi! i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable.”

“why yes, pressing my third nipple, it opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of narnia.”

“can you lose your virginity again? i feel like mine’s growing back.”

“until i was 25 i thought the only response to i love you was oh crap!”

“we swallow our feelings, even if it means we’re unhappy forever. sounds good?”

“you know, i don’t think i care.”

“SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!”

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

Witchy Starters

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

splattermemes‌:

as requested by anon. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“I need a new familiar.”

“It’s a love potion! What could possibly go wrong?”

“My broom needs to be taken to the mechanic again.”

“If ___ only knew the kinds of things I could do to him/her/them…”

“I’m only a witch, not a miracle worker.”

“Halloween is my aesthetic.”

“Where can a witch find some decent beetle eyes around here?”

“Please don’t tell me that you just sat on my wand.”

“Do you think this is Harry Potter or something?”

“You can’t just say a bunch of words that sound like Latin and expect to make magic.”

“What? No magic here. Just gals being pals.”

“Of course I’m a witch. I just don’t have green skin or face warts.” / “I really wish I looked like a cartoon witch. That would be awesome.”

“Stop putting your potion ingredients in the fridge!”

“Magic is a sophisticated craft. You can’t just say ‘pizza-us apparatus’.”

“I can’t believe that this spell is too advanced for me.”

“The only family I would marry into is the Addams family.”

“I can pass as a goth.”

“Look, I’m sorry I turned you into a toad.” / “If I had it my way, you’d still be eating flies.”

“What are you gonna do? Burn me at the stake?”

“Be nice to my familiar. Our souls are literally bonded.”

“How dare you accuse me of trying to sneak a potion into your food?!”

“We have to ask ourselves: what are magic’s limitations? Like, can it unburn my chicken nuggets?”

“Why would I clean when the dishes can do themselves?”

“Some people just don’t appreciate magic the way that they should.”

“I told you not to summon demons in the house!”

“I may be a witch, but at least I’m not a bitch.”

“Just because I do magic and find girls cute, I ‘dance with the devil’? No way! He owes me money, I’d never dance with him.”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

❝ CARE FOR COMPANY? ❞

@satansflirt||BATHE WITH AGATHA

“--I suppose there’s room for two.” Agatha’d move to allow Nick in--watching as ever piece of his clothing fell from his body. As he’d enter the tub, she’d move to straddle him, brow quirked with a little grin. “I’m surprised you’re not off with Prudence somewhere. What’s with coming to me?”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

frankcnboy‌:

wcirdgrltm‌:

His lips part to retort … scared? slightly … why? he couldn’t account for , kyle had done some work in the mines , he wasn’t afraid of some hard work .. He wasn’t a superstitious guy either. So what was the ominous little tickle up his spine // what strange phantom wind left goosebumps over pale skin. Still he smiled , two pacifying palms are held up. “ it’s no biggie , I’m totes joking with you. ” and there was a sincerity in his words , almost apologetic. He looked to the mine’s entrance , stony fronted & touched by the day’s light .. which is slowly swallowed by blackness the deeper you looked into that wide open mine mouth ! Dark eyes get lost for just a moment in it’s depths , he’s never been afraid of the mines before … he’s not about to start now. It had to be something else that sat right at the edges of his nerves. Hands in his pockets , shoulders lift. “ alright. come on then. ” he capitulates. He steps in first , hearing her walking close by. “ yanno , I’m really not scared of this place. ” he said , not defensively , just matter of fact as he peered around ( not that there was much to be seen in the darkness ) “ I just think assholes daring each other down here is bullshit , this is just a wage for a lot of people not a chance to prove your big balls. ” he said with a huff of laughter. This girl was playing with him , he could feel it , so he tried to half expect some .. shenanigans. He listened out for her movements.

A smirk pulled her own lips, hanging around the entrance to only follow when the blonde moved inside. Her head would tilt slightly, saying a silent prayer to her Dark Lord--asking he keep them safe inside--thinking it’d be necessary after the accident her and Dorcas caused which killed the Kinkle boy--one out of two, unfortunately. Though something did tell Agatha that Kyle was indeed scared, maybe how slowly he moved, or how he just kept looking around as if something, or someone else, were down there. With a chuckle, however, the witch easily passed him, not really having a care in the world. “Well, the mines aren’t even a challenge. My sisters and I spend a few evenings here, just to hang out.” Not to mention that prank they pulled on those pig jocks. Though that did beg her to ask if Sabrina released those birds. Maybe she’ll come back another time to get the answer for herself. Then again, why did she even care?  “If they want a real challenge, they’ll climb the tree the famous 13 witches were hung from. It’s rumored that they still guard that tree.”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

onceahalliwell‌:

wcirdgrltm‌:

“The Elders have no shame. They only have pride. I guess that pride just doesn’t come from people knowing about them, but their actions instead, or the things that they’re responsible for.” Ori could only shrug. “I’m here cause they told me to come here. When I was younger they raised me, and I’m lucky enough they found me a place here to live.”

“--Your coven is here? Or only you?” Eyes narrowed, poker face hiding her suspicion. If there was another coven besides the Church of Night? Maybe she should indeed go to the High Priest..to her sisters. What reason would another coven be on their land? How long had they been here? Would they pose a threat? “Why would they come here? Are you going through struggles where you’re from? Wherever that be.”

[moretrashyrpmemes]

Reblog if your muse kinda sorta needs a hug

[ghostlyrec]

SEND  ❝ SCOOT OVER ❞  /  ❝ CARE FOR COMPANY? ❞  TO ACCOMPANY MY MUSE IN A BATH !

[musingmemes]

first date starters

“you look nice tonight.”

“i have to say, i was kind of nervous about tonight.”

“do you want to… come inside?”

“don’t even think about paying for dinner.”

“what do you have planned for us tonight?”

“what took you so long to ask me out?”

“it’s been a long time since i’ve been on one of these…”

“i’ve never really been on a real date before.”

“you’re being extra shy tonight - it’s cute.”

“i’m underdressed, aren’t i?”

“i’m overdressed, aren’t i?”

“i’ve never been good at first dates.”

“this is usually the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

“this was a disaster, wasn’t it?”

“i’m sorry, normally i’m better at this kinda thing.”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

❛ hang on, i think my pizza rolls are on fire. ❜

@goodnessfilled||JUST LISTEN TO TEACHER

“You’re serious?” Mortals--go figure. Though, as Archie was out of the room, she’d let out some Latin, an incantation to put out the fire--for yes, Agatha did smell a fire. In the meantime, she’d sit with Vegas, lightly scratching behind his ear.

[komiksans]

shit my teachers have said

sometimes going to school is worth it.

❛ okey, you press that button & i’m just going to stand way over here. ❜

❛ i could go slower, but i don’t want to. ❜

❛ i’m glad you’re entertained. that’s very important to me. now shut up. ❜

❛ you have six seconds to answer & tell them to shut their phone. ❜

❛ oh, that’s nice. i’ve always wanted an iphone. could’ve at least fixed the screen, though. ❜

❛ hang on, i think my pizza rolls are on fire. ❜

❛ OUT, GET OUT, THE MICROWAVE CAUGHT ON FIRE! ❜

❛ who wants to jump out of the window for me? it’s for an experiment. ❜

❛ what did you draw for me? ❜

❛ i thought people drew dicks on tables only in fifth grade. ❜

❛ DON’T AIM FOR URANUS. ❜

❛ can you hold my gun for a second? ❜

❛ it was not my intention to shoot you. ❜

❛ you laughed, i didn’t, did you notice that? ❜

❛ the angle doesn’t matter, does it? ❜

❛ oh, yes, because heaven forbid people start kissing. ❜

❛ as everyone knows, kissing leads to sex. ❜

❛ oh no! a boob! whatever are we going to do!? ❜

❛ what are you—five? ❜

❛ how do you accidentally fall out of a plane? ❜

❛ congratulations, you just killed everyone. ❜

❛ THIS IS NOT A DRILL. it’s a screwdriver. ❜

❛ don’t be rude. share your gummy bears. ❜

❛ you can’t substitute water with spit. that’s just gross. ❜

❛ you can totally make a bowling ball out of feathers. ❜

*SCREAM OF TERROR*

❛ bless your ass out of here. ❜

❛ don’t give me any of that cheap stuff. ❜

❛ jesus can’t help you now. ❜

❛ i refuse to believe you’re that stupid. ❜

❛ i am done with your sarcastic attitude. ❜

❛ the only excuse for not coming is dying. ❜

❛ the only size that matters is the size of the statue. ❜

❛ i don’t get payed enough to deal with this. ❜

❛ don’t cry, you’re an ugly crier. ❜

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

Death becomes you Agatha.

@satansflirt

“Weren’t we done with dead jokes?” Eyes roll, head down, the process of finally getting her soul back wasn’t painless as she’d be leading everyone to believe. Agatha’d still have migraines here and there, feel a little weak..but it was something, at least. “What do you want?”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

@trappedwarlock||CONTINUED

“..Why don’t you ask nicely? I just don’t kiss anyone just to do it. I need reason, besides that..experience in your home.”

[wcirdgrltm-blog]

onceahalliwell‌:

wcirdgrltm‌:

“I don’t know, they tend to be pretty big braggarts,” Ori said. Perhaps they just hid from this one’s ‘church.’ “Their egos could fill the sky, if you know what I mean. I’m Ori, for the whole legality of it I use the last name Smith. If you want you could probably use it, too. Or something fancier like… Ainsworth… Davenport. Nibley.” 

“Perhaps. We’ll see.” Shoulders shrug, a hand running through her braids. “I know what you mean, too. But if egos are so big..why hide from our coven? Wouldn’t they..want us to have heard of them? Or are there..lots of shame around the coven?” Perhaps she could bring this up to Father Blackwood. Though..would he believe that there’d be another coven in Greendale? “What brings you?”