Visiting Patrick’s family
We've known for awhile that we wanted to visit Patrick's family. He has become such an integral part of our service, and, as his honorary Mama and Papa, it felt only right to go meet his true Mama and siblings.
P's family lives very far away in the middle of the mountains. Getting there is long and expensive, so we pulled together our entire savings and buckled up for the ride. Generally, P takes the bus down to Kamembe (the southwest border, along Lake Kivu, near DRC) but it is hot, cramped, and overall unpleasant (though they did just recently pave the road, which helps). We convinced P to take the boat down, even though he is very afraid of water (near drowning experience as a child).
When we got to Kibuye, where the boat leaves, and P saw it, he gave a big sigh of relief saying, “Oh...it is big and strong. I thought it would be only wood!” Poor thing thought we were going to row the whole way, haha. We got on the boat and as soon as we set off, P was delighted. He spent the entire trip outside on the deck, just watching the world go by. He now wants to take the boat anytime he travels.
On the boat I started playing a game on my Kindle. Before I knew it, the girl next to me (maybe 13 years old) started helping me. Then her brothers came up too and began to help. Eventually, I just let them take over because watching them gave me more pleasure than actually playing. I kept making side comments to Doug about them such as “They are really good at this.” “They catch on quick!” “Look at what he just did.” Etc. I didn't think anything about it...as we talk in English about people all the time (muzungu habit). Then, all of the sudden the girl looked at me and said, “Can you change the game, please?” I was so shocked I just stared at her for a second. Then I started laughing at my own judgments that these kids only spoke Kinyarwanda. At that point, I just handed the kids the Kindle and let them play whatever they wanted. Turns out, they spoke perfect English to each other and were way better at video games than me!
When we reached Kamembe, we immediately hopped on a bus to Cimerwe, about an hour and a half south. That is the furthest you can travel toward his family's village without a moto. So on the first day, we got the majority of the traveling out of the way (about 8 hours) and found a nice, cheap lodgement to spend the night. After putting our stuff in the rooms, we went into town to eat. I ordered a bowl of beans that were fantastic, I ended up ordering them again in the morning for breakfast!
The following morning we got up really early and went to the hot springs nearby. It was really relaxing to just walk around and take some photos. Then we bought a few gifts for his family, hopped on another moto and headed up into the mountains.
The moto ride was incredibly beautiful. P told us that it was 3 hours, so we settled in for a long haul (fortunately it was only one hour). Doug's moto driver was terrible and kept hitting potholes, ditches, and craters. Doug was off his bike more than he was on it! (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration.) At one point, the mountain was so steep, my moto driver just stopped and told me to get off. He refused to go any further. So...we paid him and he left. The other two motos stuck with us a little longer. They went up the mountain while we walked and waited for us where it wasn't as steep. Then they took Doug and I on a little further into P's village, and one of them went back for P.
Immediately coming into P's village, it was like entering a different world. No one yelled “muzungu,” but it wasn't because they weren't there. People began appearing out of every nook and crevice, watching us with fear and awe. P then explained that none of these people had ever seen a white person before, not even in a photograph. It was as if a UFO had landed and out popped some aliens.
Everyone was extremely kind, no one asked for money; it was just still and quiet and tranquil. I loved the atmosphere very much.
We walked about 10 yards to the family's new house. P has never actually lived in this house, as they moved in last year, but his mother and sister live there together. At first we met two of P's older brothers. Then we were led inside to take food, meeting two of his younger sisters in the process. The girls spoke English, both having attended secondary school (one still in attendance), which was a welcome surprise. (We actually found out that our friend Leah, another PC volunteer, teaches at his sister's school.) She wants to be an engineer, which makes my heart swell with pride. This is typically a “man's job” so the fact that it's her goal is exciting. She has attended GLOW camp (our girl's empowerment camp) in the past, even being a senior facilitator. So...she is a girl with big dreams, and I very much want to support her future.
P's sisters brought out a whole table full of food. We were pleasantly surprised, not expecting to eat anything that day. Until, that is, P shook his head and said quietly, “This Rwandan culture...it is not good. I don't know how they paid for all this food. It is too much. They don't have money.” Instantly I felt the sting of guilt. His family, who has absolutely nothing, prepared us a lavish meal just because we are visitors and we are foreigners. It is literally the poor woman who throws her last coin into the offering plate. These people sacrificed everything to show their love and gratitude. It is a selflessness I do not possess, and I'm ashamed of that.
(P eventually asked his mother, and she confessed that the family went into debt from a neighbor for the food. They also borrowed the table and chairs that we ate at, as they own no furniture.)
After lunch (which we paid them for, of course), his whole family came out to greet us. We met his mother, older sister, two older brothers, two younger sisters, and a few neighbors. P acted as translator as we each gave small speeches to each other.
The most memorable thing said was by his mother.
“In the Bible there are many miracles. Jesus made miracles. But here, you are my miracle.”
I still can't quite put into words what it means to me.
P ended up talking for quite some time. He talked about how we've helped him pay for school so that in the future, he can in turn help someone else go to school. It filled my heart with joy to hear him say these words. We have tried to instill this value into him, but knowing that he fully understands and agrees was really amazing. He continued by reading some of the Bible. Then there were a couple of prayers before we all went outside for the very Rwandan photoshoot.
We only spent about three hours at his house, but it was worth all the time and money spent. It was beautiful to see the place P comes from, and really put my life into focus.
After the moto ride back, we hopped back on the bus to Kamembe. There we stayed with a family friend of P's, who were an incredibly delightful family. The woman is a nurse, and her husband (Oscar) must have a decent job also, because they had a pretty nice house.
Before the couple got home from work, we were just relaxing on the couches. I asked P where the bathroom was so he took me outside. He asked the umukozi (house worker) and she led us back inside to an actual toilet. P then went back to Doug and said in an exaggerated whisper, “There is a bathroom...INSIDE the house!”
Sometimes you just forget that the perks you are used to are completely astonishing to others who've never seen luxury.
That night was very, very long. We were tired and starving, but the couple didn't arrive until about 9pm. After meeting them and their two precious little girls, we chatted and hung out. Eventually we were given a hot bucket of water for a bath, which felt great, and led into dinner (at 10:30p). The dinner was...let's just be honest...probably the worst food I've had in this country. But I didn't even care. The company was so wonderful and we had a great time!
The next morning, they were kind enough to drive us to the boat (which saved us a couple thousand francs for motos). We got there right at departure time, but everything was fine since Oscar knew the boat manager. We got on and settled in for the long trip home.
I planned to sleep on the boat, but the two most adorable tiny people in front of me had other plans. I ended up playing with the kids almost the entire time. If I tried to read, eventually they would start looking at the photo inserts in my book (and since I was reading Kisses for Kate, the photos were of a white girl with a bunch of Ugandan kids...so they were very interested and wanted to know the names of all the kids in the pictures). If I tried to sleep, I would feel their little eyes boring into me until I'd open my eyes and find them pretending to “sleep” like I was. And, of course, they love love loved my camera. (And my camera loved them.) I turned the screen around so they could see themselves and they just had the best time playing and performing for the camera. I oh-so-desperately wanted to take them home with me.
But, fortunately (unfortunately?) they were with their dad, who was so great with them. It is always refreshing to see the man taking responsibility of the kids here. As kids are a “mother's roll” you don't see it all that often, but when you do, it's generally amazing. Don't get me wrong though, Rwandan men love their kids. Children are the pride and joy of every parent in this country.
At one point the kids were a bit rowdy and got in trouble. Big crocodile tears started rolling down Blandine's face as she laid down in the seat. Her brother just sat there quietly. After about 5 minutes, the father reached over and wiped away all the tears from her face, squeezed her cheeks, and said something to her in Kinyarwanda. She burst into giggles immediately. Then he put his arm around his son and gave him a big kiss on the head. And just like that, the kids were back to their playful (yet slightly less rambunctious) selves. I think my heart grew three sizes.
Finally we  got to Kibuye, and departed the bus, saying sad goodbyes to my new friends. We walked up to Home St. Jean, ate some delicious food, and then got a taxi home. (I don't know how P did it, but somehow he talked the guy into taking us for the same price as the bus, so we didn't have to wait around for the bus or cram on it with everyone else. Score.)
We got home, took showers, and crawled into bed for the best night sleep in days. Overall, the trip was beautiful and amazing. I don't know why, but I continue to be surprised by the sheer awesomeness of my life.