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bull's cafe

hamra, spears street

ordered: two double espressos

price: 2,000

verdict: 5/5 for what it is

Cale:

Every serveese driver's favorite people-watching place. A doppio from Bull Cafe makes it worth the walk to Spears to catch the straight-shoot serveese from hamra to downtown. Not only is the espresso cheap and strong, you get to marvel at the collection of framed photos of historic Beirut, from portraits of the Pashas of the Ottomon Empire to photos of Hamra Street in the 1970s (which surprisingly has barely changed at all). Beware of angry serveese drivers who frequent this spot for their early morning shisha and coffee sessions - this group of men who got caught in my photo yelled at me "WE'RE ALL MARRIED WHY ARE YOU TAKING PHOTOS OF US?"

How to assure them that I'm not planning to publish their photos in the latest edition of Serveese Drivers Gone Wild?

Also the way they spell cappuccino is just awesome.

Tres:

Oh Lebanon, your blatant disregard for copyright infringement never fails to impress me. todays example: bull cafe.but hey who can blame them? this is place is kind of like the '96 bulls of the espresso world aka consistently #winning. the michael jordan of this team is definitely the colorful cliental. from the angry service driver who expelled you from his dilapidated mercedes mid route to your local barbar delivery boy, bull cafe never has it all. and besides all the usual suspects the coffee is pretty damn good. don't sleep on this one. it's worth a visit at the very least.

PS: LAKERS FTW

#hamra #espresso #cafe

Chef Profile: Bilal Attar

Chef Bilal Attar is the creator of the (in)famous Speakeasy burger and other indulgences. WeEatBeirut sat down with him at the bar and discussed his passions, his aversions, and of course, booze.

How’d you get into food? It was a hobby, it was the first thing I ever did. While I was a child I used to play in the kitchen all the time. I grew up with food and food grew on me. The first word I said was minanu. (What?) McDonalds! Everytime I saw the big M I started jumping. My second word was labneh and my third was mom. When did you start cooking at Speakeasy? Ever since they opened What’s your favorite thing on the menu? That’s a trick question. The menu was made out of my favorites. I’ll say the trio sliders. What’s your favorite thing to cook? Pasta. You cook at a bar. How does alcohol factor into your food? I’m not drunk! Since I’m known for my twisted fusion food, alcohol has contributed a lot. I had mixed and mashed a lot of alcohol into my recipes, so I ended up working in a bar. It was by choice. The alcohol came before I worked in the bar as part of my secret ingredients and hidden flavors. How do you rep your day3a? I don’t have a day3a, I’m from Texas! The heat in the texmex shows up in the food. If you can’t stand it don’t eat it. If you had to pick a meal that embodies your personality what would it be? What is chef on a plate? That’s a trick question. I would say waraq 3aynab (stuffed vine leaves). You spend the whole day making them and rolling them and cooking them with pleasure and you put your heart and soul into them and they grow up. And then each one, when you eat it, everything stops for a second while you chew it and then you have another one and you have another one of those moments. When you see people eat waraq 3aynab they’re humming and that for me is happiness. Thoughts on pork? It makes things yummy if you don’t tell anyone. What will you not eat, ever, under any circumstances? Seafood because I’m allergic to it. How do you like your steak cooked? Well done. Favorite restaurant in Lebanon besides Speaks? If you’ve lost me you’ll find me at McDonalds. I’m addicted to McDonalds, I have to eat it every day. White or brown meat? White. Sauce or no sauce? Sauce. Wet or dry? Wet. Let’s play word association. Tell us the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear: MAYONNAISE: EW. BRATWURST: No comment. TOUM: Can’t have enough of it. ASIAN: Short. AL DENTE: Perfection. What have you got planned for the future? I want to publish my book, Cooking With A Touch of Glam. It’s an upscale cooking book that shows you how to cook with style. You learn how to make fancy meals – or at least meals that look fancy - with simple things. Presentation, presentation, presentation. Second, I want to start doing cooking lessons in Beirut for executive women. Sometimes we have those businessmen traveling and their wives are bored at the hotel all day and so come along learn how to make a meal.

#chef profile #bilal attar #hamra

The Speakeasy

The Speakeasy, Hamra

Ordered: Unique Burger

Price: 22,000 LL

Verdict: 5/5

Cale:

Ladies and gentleman, I have found America in Beirut. No. No. Not America. ‘MERRKA.

This speakeasy burger is 360 grams of pure ohmylawdimightneverrecovermeatybeefygoodness. The ultimate ‘Merrkan heart attack on a plate. A mammoth boon of unforgivable indulgence. Exactly the way burgers were meant to be. Anything less overwhelming than this beast of a burger is a sorry European excuse for the classic American dish (lets ignore the fact that burgers are from Germany I don’t like to talk about it). Ya that’s right I said it: Brgr Co is for girls.

What really made my day, however, was the collection of dips and sauces The Beast comes with. I happen to despise all condiments, but Chef Bilal Attar makes his own ketchup that doesn’t have that inexplicable diet coke – corn syrupy flavor I detect in packaged ketchups.

Tres:

this is the biggest burger that i have ever eaten in my life. and don't think that the size is just a novelty…according to the folks at Speaks its patty is made from only 100% USDA grade beef. my well defined pallet can corroborate this. if the massive burger wasn't enough for you (aka you have a serious problem) then you'll be happy to know it comes with an entire plate of cheese fries.i'm not talking about yellow liquid (i'm looking at you and your "nachos" Bricks) spread over something you picked out of a freezer at TSC, i'm talking about real cheese spread over hand cut fries.

don't fancy cheese? then just go for a dip in any of the home made sauces that come complimentary. the sour cream dip and the ago ketchup were gone within the first five minutes. two dishes of extra jalapenos and mushrooms sealed the deal for me, best burger in beirut thus far. classic, brgr co, burger nation, cow & apple, etc step up your game…

#burger #hamra #5/5 #pub

La Brioche

La brioche, Hamra opposite COOP

Ordered: chocolate croissant, chocolate éclair, lemon tarte, ????

Price: 16.000 LL

Verdict: 4/5

Calé:

Cutesy verging on kitsch hole-in-the-wall French pastry shop in hamra. the la crepier of west Beirut. Scrumptious French pastries that taste way better than they look. La Brioche gets the butterbalance of the choco croissant right by serving up buttery chocolate filling in a non-buttery croissant. get there early for the chocolate éclair, which tends to run out by 2PM. also the little old lady (aka LOL) who owns this joint is shway mean and won’t humor my overeager attempts to speak arabic.

Me: badde wa7de éclair blease

LOL: voulez boulez moulez frenchfrenchfrench

Me: ma fii éclair alyoum?

LOL: imbécile américaine frenchfrenchfrench

Me: E-K-L-A-I-GHHH SEE VU PLAY?

LOL: *glares*

Me: Tres, wtf is going on.

Tres:

going to francophile places is one of my greatest joys in life…not particularly for the cuisine, but mostly just to hear calé's attempt to speak french. this is one of those places that you've walked by at least 50 times and never really noticed. however, once you do walk in and get over the cheesy interior inspired by the sound of music, you're in for a treat. la brioche offers very french pastries at very unfrench prices aka it's delicious and cheap, simple as that. the patisserie offers a wide array of offerings baked fresh daily by previously mentioned "little old lady." i'm not really a fan of chocolate, but i must say that this place gets it right. perfect balance between flakey goodness and sweet chocolate stuffing.

#dessert #french #pastries

Albergo Hotel Breakfast

Abdel Wahab al Englizi street, Achrafiya

Ordered: 1 Lebanese breakfast

Price: 36,000 LL

Verdict: 4.5/5

calé:

Todays breakfast at the albergo hotel - no doubt the best hotel in beirut - was a lesson on how to do bougie things on the (relative) cheap: order 1 albergo Lebanese breakfast; get served enough food to put two foodies in a food coma; give one person the orange juice and the other person the coffee (both included with the breakfast). Enjoy eating in a beautiful if-slightly-uncomfortably-orientalist (its not funny when its true) Francophile -themed breakfast room with one of the most spectacular views of Beirut in town. also the single best plate of restaurant labneh ive ever been served. All for 36,000 LL aka 18,000 LL /person aka pretty much the same price as that horrendous bread republic eggs benedict. Speaking of eggs, id like to send a big shout out to the albergo for remembering that sumac alwaysalwaysalways belongs on middle eastern eggs.

tres:

save your cash and split the breakfast, like calé already said it's more than enough food for two. the top floor albergo (restaurant) offers a standard lebanese breakfast with the touch of class and value that you would expect from a 5 star boutique hotel. take in the view and elegant decor as an added value and you have yourself the ultimate saturday morning brunch (i'm still spending my sundays at Casablanca.) I feel I must also take the time to highlight their excellent choice of olive oil…Zejd should be standard table fare at any establishment of this quality.

a word of warning: if you're trying to have a "bougie breakfast on the cheap" stay far, far away from ordering any extras. a bottle of water alone will set you back 12,000 LL :/

#breakfast #lebanese

WeEatSaida: falafel abou rami

Saida, Lebanon On the Corniche across from the Qala2

Ordered: 2 falafel sandwiches, 2 sodas

Price: 8,000 LL

Verdict: 5/5

Apologies for the brief posting hiatus, but we have a special WeEatSaida feature to make it up to you all.

Calé:

good falafel is frustratingly hard to find in Beirut, but Falafel Abou Rami in Saida, just a 40-minute $1.00 ghetto bus ride from the capital, offers the.best.falafel.sandwich.ive.ever.had.in.my.life. yes, that’s right. The single best wrap of fried ball of carbs and whatever it is that falafel is made out of smothered in tahini sauce and stuffed with parsley, pickles, tomatoes – and in Abou Rami’s case, HOMEMADE CHILI SAUCE – that ive ever had the luck to come across in my life.

the closest ive come to balad assham falafel is in Jordan, which thanks to its huge Palestinian population hosts excellent falafel chains such as Kalha, and innumerable falafel street stands. But Abou Rami, perhaps because of his proximity to Lebanon’s largest Palestinian refugee camp, Ain al Helweh, beats all the falafel ive tasted in Jordan (which is pretty embarrassing to the latter since falafel is pretty much the only attraction worth a visit to amman). Abou Rami is located in what I consider the most beautiful spot in Saida, and one of the most beautiful in all of Lebanon, on the Corniche across from those unidentifiable ruins on the sea (the “qala2”). see tourist photo below.

One more thing about the sandwich… IT’S FREAKING HUGE

Tres:

falafel is such a staple in the middle east that i never think of it as a particularly exciting meal. however, abou rami's falafel offers two traits that separate it from the masses. first the sandwich is HUGE. this is not your standard grab on-the-go…this is a sit down, eat and then stay-seated-for-the-next-half-an-hour-as-your-food-coma-slowly-sets-in kinda sandwich. secondly, and dearest to my heart, is the homemade chili sauce that is available upon request. i feel that whenever i order falafel in beirut i'm constantly taking it home to douse in my own personal assortments of condiments…not necessary here. finally an arab "hot sauce" that is both flavorful and packs a kick. i'm satisfied, two-thumbs way up.

BONUS FINDS IN SAIDA

Calé’s bonus find: Unnamed Sweets Shop in the middle of saida old souk

Ordered: pistachio 3ashta cashew commingle

Price: 1,000 LL

A charming home-style sweets shop selling a mishmash of pistachio-3ashta-cashew plus some other typical Lebanese sweets. Delish.

Tres’ bonus find: Friendly Fish seller on the corniche

Ordered Given: Two pieces of Baklava

Price: free.99

Um… If ever in Saida make sure to visit the “friendly fisherman” located directly in front of Saida's official port. Simply for paying him a visit you will be offered a free fish or two pieces of baklava. Choose wisely.

#falafel #5/5 #saida #sweets

Bread Republic Eggs Benedict

Bread Republic, Hamra

Ordered: Eggs Benedict

Price: 16,000 LL

Verdict: 0/5

calé:

After walking around hamra for an hour on a Sunday morning looking for a new place to grab brunch, i finally gave up and went to bread republic – a solid and convenient, but not particularly exciting place. Bread Republic as a restaurant is a solid 3, but perhaps gets a 3.5 because of its lovely outdoor sidewalk setting. Bread Republic food is like Damien Rice’s music - a go-to mainstream artist with an indie image that you can listen to over and over again without feeling disappointed, but doesn’t leave you feeling particularly inspired either. (note that the same analogy can be drawn with Café Younes’ internet speed.)

Today was different.

Today I ordered Eggs Benedict instead of my usual garden omelette, praying to be served up a plump poached egg with hollandaise sauce and an English muffin, and expecting to be served at the very least a satisfyingly loose egg yolk on bread with the Lebanese interpretation of bacon. I didn’t even get that: Bread Republic apparently thinks that bagels doused in olive oil are an acceptable substitute for English muffin with butter, that fried eggs are just as good as poached eggs, and that some disgusting unidentifiable mayonnaise-type sauce – presumably the “hollandaise sauce” - belongs smeared along the edges of my plate.

I am so utterly disappointed in you, Bread Republic. YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY.

Will someone please take advantage of this market vacuum and open up a decent Sunday brunch place in hamra that doesn’t require a reservation four days in advance (im lookin at you, Casablanca)?

#0/5 #hamra #bread republic

Assaha

Assaha, tareeq al mattar, da7ieh

ordered: assaha mixed meat grill, hummus with meat and pine nuts, mottabal, coriander potatoes, falafel, coffee, dessert (gratis)

price: 58,000 LL

verdict: 4

cale:

assaha serves up the classic lebanese medley of mezze & meat grills & fish in a huge citadel-esque setting inspired by Lebanese writer Anis Freiha's "Lebanese Village." this is one of those times when it's useful to have two people with different taste buds reviewing the same restaurant.

i happen to strongly dislike:

1. toum

2. hummus/mottabal with excessive amounts of olive oil

3. meat that tastes like meat

4. anything greasy

tres happens to strongly like:

1. toum

2. hummus/mottabal with excessive amounts of olive oil

3. meat that tastes like meat

4. anything greasy

Assaha food fits all these descriptions, so naturally tres rated it a 5 and i rated it a 3, the average of our scores bringing us to a 4. although the food overall wasn't suited to my taste, i did get excited about the excellent green-on-the-inside falafel, a great find in a city that offers a pathetically limited choice of falafel. just one of the many human costs of maintaining an apartheid regime in which palestinians aka the kings of falafel are isolated from the rest of the population.(tressaysimnotallowedtotalkpoliticsonthisblogsoillendthatnotehere).

anyhow, lets move on from the assaha food to the assaha experience, which everyone who visits beirut should have...

tres:

aasaha village is an interesting place to say the least. a beautiful gem in the middle of less visited part of our city the complex contains the afore mentioned restaurant, a hotel, a banquet hall, internet café, museum, library of arabic poetry and a network of small shops. in the shops one can purchase anything from jewelry to a new handbag to your very own picture with Sayyid Hassan Nasrallah

…don't fancy one with Abou Hadi? no worries, you can get one with Bashar al Assad (added bonus: may be a collectors item soon) or maybe you prefer FPM leader Michel Aoun? Politics not your thing…no need to fret, they also offer an array of footballers although messi seemed to be the clear favorite.

There is also a Hezbollah gift shop and a store where you can buy crafts made buy veterans of the resistance. we've also read that all proceeds from Assaha go to the orphans' charity of the late, great Sayyid Fadlallah's Jam'yyat Al Mabarrat Al Khairia. i think it must be said…breaking US federal law never tasted so good.

#lebanese #mezze #4/5 #da7ieh #falafel

la crêpier

la crêpier, achrafieh (around the corner from bread on the way towards the albergo)

ordered: nutella & banana crepe, turkish coffee, coke

price: 6,000 LL

verdict:3.5/5

calé:

after al mayass we tried to go for a walk to work off some of the fat, but thanks to beirut's outrageously high cafe-per-capita quotient, within two blocks we stumbled upon a too-cute-to-pass-up cafe and failed to resist the urge to walk in and top off our fat with even more fat.

crêpe à la libanaise made on a saj stove top and featuring the lebanese favorite nutella-and-cheese. our "crepe" was delish, but to be fair its pretty hard to mess up any dish involving nutella+carbs. the consistency of the dough is somewhere between a man2oushe and a french crepe.

my fave part was the turkish coffee which comes with a generous serving in an individualized pot. thanks to this blog, over-indulgence now counts as "work"

tres:

tastes like something your grandmother would make as an afterschool snack. the place was filled with kids from a local highschool so that lends to support my hypothesis. peculiarly la crêpier was filled with odd pictures that we couldn't quite figure out. including this painting, which looked exactly like the old woman who owned the cafe. coincidence? i think not.

overall good and made me feel like i was 10.

#crepe #3.5/5 #ashrafieh

al mayass

al mayass, furn al hayek, ashrafieh

ordered: cherry kebab, al mayass basterma (quail egg-basterma canape), mahshi bi'laban (stuffed eggplant in yogurt) hummus b' lahm and snobar (hummus with meat and pine-nuts), basmati rice, double espresso and tea

price: 76,000 LL for two balla booze

verdict: 4/5

Calé:

i only come here when im starving and/or infuriated and in need of an immodestly heavy meal to pacify me on both fronts. luckily tres and i fought for hours over where and when to eat today (BECAUSEHESAWHINEYTWELVEYEAROLDGIRL) so i was famished AND angry at the world by the time we arrived.

the cherry kebab was the highlight of the entire experience, especially since it decidedly did NOT taste like meat saturated in cough medicine as i expected it might. the eggplant mahshi is doused in thick yogurt, the hummus served with a more than generous helping of meat and the quail egg basterma a carbyeggyoilymeaty canape of goodness. im not afraid to say it: armenians do mezze best.

id rate the food - and service - at 5, but al mayass loses a point for serving lipton tea and weak espresso. a heavy meal like this needs to be followed by good caffeinated digestibles. its also quite expensive, but as you can all see, i decided to donate this week's manicure allowance to lebanon's armenian community.

Tres:

this lunchdate (if you can even call it a lunch considering we ate at 4pm aka 4 hours after planned aka call lagged for 3 and then couldn't decided what to eat for another hour) started off looking pretty dismal. first we were ejected from a cab mid route, then i almost passed out from famine driven delirium in the middle of clemenceau. on top of this i'm not the biggest fan of armenian food. however upon arrival things started to turn around. the restaurant is located on a quiet ashrafieh back street in furn al hayek just down the street from bread.

first off this place gets points for having a really awesome staff. even though they close the kitchen at 4pm, we called from the cab told them we were on our way and they kept it open an extra 15 minutes just for us. i like that. our waiter knew his menu well and answered all of calé's badgering questions (anyone gets points for that.)

onto the food. we ordered a few mezze dishes, everything was on point. the quail egg canape really stood out as i had never had it and it worked really well with the basterma. try it if you've never had it. the cherry kabob was excellent with the basmati and really had a well rounded flavor. the only downside was that the kabob and rice reminded a little to much of the fact that i can not seem to find iranian food in this country. the tehranangeles in me needs its fix. anyone with any information on said iranian food please get in touch IMMEDIATELY.

Above all a quite pleasant experience. skip the espresso/lipton and you won't be disappointed.

#armenian #kabob #4/5 #ashrafieh

pizza hiba aka pizza della casa

Ordered: Pepperoni Pizza, Spaghetti Bolognese Price: 12,000 LL Verdict: 5/5

Tres:

this is my favorite place to eat in hamra and it’s open 24/7, which means we often end up there around 4am. why? It’s cheap, more reliable than my daily power out, and they legit have the best hot sauce i’ve ever tasted in Lebanon. and i take hot sauce very seriously. i’m very proud of my collection, the entirety of which has been smuggled into the country from far-off foreign lands.

the pizza itself is excellent as well. I usually go for the pepperoni, but i’ve also sampled the proscuitto, chicken and cheese. All on point. The pizza is made and cooked in front of you in a big manoushe oven for optimal freshness. They also have a collection of other snacks i.e. fatayer, manakish, kaki, etc. but i never get past the pizza. Oh and it gets better. Besides the standard discount they give to AUB students and people, like me, who tell them they’re AUB students, they are now giving away a FREE pasta with every pizza purchase. yes, free pasta. I must say, though that the pasta leaves much to be desired, well unless you desire pasta that tastes like it came out of a can.

Lets recap, shall we?

+ delicious pizza + easy on the wallet - free (gross) pasta + open 24/7 ---------------------- WINNING Oh yeah, free delivery too. 01/ 750 820

calé:

id just like to add that pizza della casa is a top ten restaurant in ulaabaatar, mongolia. you know, just in case.

UPDATE/WARNING: our friend samer cautions "duude i had pizza hiba while sober, and almost died"

#pizza #5/5 #hamra

we eat kurdistan

basilica restaurant at rotana hotel. erbil, iraqi kurdistan.

ordered: 1 quattro stagioni pizza

price: ??? (unknown because i went with my parents so i moooooched)

verdict: 2/5

calé:

kurdistan has never been known for its restaurants, particularly not its international restaurants. fondly, i remember the days when we went to the local "nadi" in suleimani, komalayti, aka the hottest spot in town, to feast on 12 different kinds of mezze, all variations of the same macaroni-mayonnaise bedrock, and "chicken nuggets" so hard and stale theyd chip our teeth. FONDLY, i remember the day MaDonal, the fake mcdonalds, opened and i half-heartedly nibbled on kebabs of an indiscernible meat flattened into circular patties and served on samoon, as images of my inevitable week in bed vomiting up my insides with food poisoning flashed before me. SANCTIONS WERE SO SKINNY.

those days are gone, and thanks to Operation Eye-Raki Freedom, good ole capitalism and eager lebanese businessmen, kurds now have an equal opportunity to be as fat and indulgent as the rest of the world.

BEHOLD: costa rica coffee:

BEHOLD: burger queen

BEHOLD: passport pizza (whats with pizza and travel?)

...picture coming soon

today, i went to the brand new rotana hotel to eat at Basilico, their italian restaurant. in keeping with the theme, i ordered a quattro stagioni pizza. on a middle eastern scale it was slightly below average, but my nationalist impulses and expat guilt demand that i admit it was the best thing ive ever eaten outside of my grandma's kitchen in kurdistan. it lost points for substituting ham for chopped up turkey lunch meat, but it gains points for not using ketchup as a substitute for tomato sauce (which kurds have been known to do). Basilica gains points for having lebanese waiters but loses points for having a german chef at an italian restaurant. still: baby steps count.

my mom captured the whole experience in the picture below, typically snapped at mid-bite, so we had to do a little editing to make it appropriate for publication online.

#italian #kurdistan #pizza #2/5

flying pizza

Flying Pizza, Hamra, next to Flo right above Bliss ordered: 1 large pizza. half pepperoni, half sojuk (calé's mistake), artichokes, mushrooms.

price: 17,000 LL

our verdict: 2.5/5

calé:

possibly one of the cheesiest places i've ever come across. The menu consists of pizzas w/ different combinations of toppings that are, for some unfathomable reason, named according to aviation-related nouns. for example, the “airport pizza” is a sojuk+mushroom+onion pie. copywriters’ inspiration remains unclear. there's also a creepy child dressed as a pilot pictured on the bottom right corner of the paper table mats. (possibly lebanon’s answer to the kinder kid?) i don’t get it.

that being said, the pizza is oily and cheesy enough to quench my thursday afternoon oleaginous craving, although you can do way better in hamra for 17,000 LL. it's not quite pizza hiba’s, but its satisfying enough that I'm not left with any heart-rending calorie regret.

**Update: 3 hours later, i can still taste the sojuk aftertaste. avoid flying pizza sojuk.** tres:

yeah, pretty much utterly forgettable. the highlight of the entire experience was probably stabbing calé with a fork or watching her talk to her self in the mirror while acting like a japanese tourist. i also tend to judge these kinds of establishments on the quality of their hot sauce. flying pizza's excuse for hot sauce is just this red oil stuff and oregano. no bueno. if you're in the area and want pizza save 7k and just go to pizza hibba (or whatever they are calling it this week.) oh and I had it last night at 4am and i can joyfully announce: THE OLD HOT SAUCE IS BACK.

#pizza #hamra #sojuk #2/5

nom nom nom.

#photo

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