almost home
Mike Driver
Jules of Nature
Product Placement
Not today Justin
noise dept.
art blog(derogatory)
No title available
gracie abrams
cherry valley forever
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
𓃗
PR's Tumblrdome
macklin celebrini has autism
Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
The Stonewall Inn
EXPECTATIONS
Sade Olutola
No title available
seen from Germany
seen from Switzerland
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Vietnam
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
@weeeffie
I stared at this for a long while and looked at the notes before I realized he had Photoshopped himself as his own date. Which is a relief because at first I thought he was dating a twin or someone who looked freakishly like him.
“oh he’s gay alright”
“wait a fucking minute”
“He walks into the room and doesn’t expect to see such a beautiful young woman of similar age to him. Any young man’s reaction is going to be, ‘Okay…’ but he puts that aside, because he has to.” - Kit Harington
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
Originally posted by disneyasastrology
BWAHAHAHAHAH.
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.
“Fuck school”, I say as I do all my homework and aim for A’s
Omg lol.
BWAHAHAHA
THEY SAID DONT LAUGH
ok but can we talk about the tagline? yaasss let them know
THE HYPE TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES!!!
Can we also appreciate that they are the only ones on the cover? No men behind or in front of them, no famous male actors to bring in publicity. Too much perfection in one picture 😍
people who sleep with one pillow make me sick
people who sleep with more than one pillow are shown to be more lonely and depressed
I mean who could win against that amazing strategy???
my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY
Mitochondria machine broke
actually the funny thing is that this post is basically describing what researchers now think is the underlying cause in chronic fatigue syndrome (as in there is notable dysfunction in mitochondria that means less ATP is produced, especially under stresses)
THIS BITCH EMPTY
Y E E T
In-Store Ikea Reviews [see a bonus review on Facebook]
MOM OF THE YEAR. WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHEN I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL.
So for 17 years of his life my boyfriend thought that quiche was pronounced quicky and so once we were at a bakery with his mum and I was like what are you having and he said he wanted a quicky
His mum laughed so hard she went to the car to call his aunt so she could tell the family
please report and block this blog for backstabbing me and posting this story
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
a dentist
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
