Fat phobia and the fear of weight gain
I don’t like this topic. It’s tough to have a dialogue about because on one hand, I understand the importance of health, eating balanced meals, and getting appropriate exercise. On the other hand, I don’t agree with the way bigger people are treated in society. And I don’t like the ridiculous stigma people have against weight gain, especially during situations where weight is expected to fluctuate.
Last year was my freshman college year, and I moved away from home. I’m not a confident cook, and my parents paid for a pricy meal plan, so I mostly ate in the caf and used my meal dollars at campus restaurants. This included things like Taco Bell, Starbucks, and Subway. I did try to be calorie conscious, and make healthy choices, but it wasn’t easy.
As expected, I gained weight. I was about 175lbs-178lbs when I left home, and came back at the end of the year at 195lbs. This is a huge weight gain, I know. But I had set plans during the summer to lose the weight, and I put them in motion. Over the summer, I lost 12lbs, and I now weigh 180lbs, give or take a few.
I’m back in campus for my sophomore year. This morning, I received the following message from one of my family members.
I can’t even describe how I felt reading this. “No option”? “No matter what I do”? “I don’t want to see you…..”? What do they plan on doing to me when I come home? Are they going to kill me? Disown me? Punish me? Do they want me to starve myself? Develop an eating disorder? All because I gained a bit of weight that I am clearly capable of losing?
I’m not going to focus on the message itself nor the nature of the message (who sent it and what not), but I’ll talk about the overall issue. The stigma against weight gain is ridiculous. Gaining a pound is not going to kill you. Gaining 5 pounds isn’t going to kill you. Hell, gaining 20 pounds isn’t going to kill you. As long as you eventually check your habits at an appropriate time and make sure you’re not jeopardizing your health, having your weight fluctuate is not the end of the world.
For those who feel that it’s their place to lecture people about their body and believe that they’re certified dietitians and nutritionists when they’re not, there is a proper way to show concern for your friends who do not have healthy eating habits. The message I revealed above is not it. Acting like it’s a crisis or a cause for pandemonium and anger when people gain weight is not it. Harassing random strangers on the internet who are a certain size is not it. Calling people whales, hippos, and fat asses is not it. Being against depictions of bigger people in media because “it’s dangerous to show our kids” is not it. Giving dirty looks to bigger people who are eating/drinking something other than veggies, fruit, and water is not it. Bigger people are aware of the consequences of being big, and if they are not currently doing anything about their weight, it is because they are ready to face those consequences or are not yet ready to embark on a weight loss journey, which can be quite difficult. So they don’t need your lectures, and they don’t need you to treat them as inferior.
If you want to share your concern about your friend’s health, be kind and respectful. Don’t be rude and condescending. Don’t treat them like they’re a loser or a failure in life for being big. Invite them to go to a healthy restaurant or cook healthy recipes with you. Invite them to work out with you or go for a jog with you or something. Don’t badger them, pester them, or bring up their weight in a situation or conversation that’s completely unrelated. And of course, remember that people are coming from all walks of life, and there might be more to their weight gain than you realize.
PS: Freshman 15 is real, but is not as serious as you think. Your freshman family and buddies will figure it out. Relax.
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