It's not what you think it is @weltewelte - Tumblr Blog

sloppystyle

angery!

bunjywunjy

150 million years worth of reptilian fury contained in a body smaller than a shoebox

only1600kids

*gets penalty* “that’s bullshit” *watches replay* “.. yeah okay”

reademmaduh

This is flawless. I can’t stop watching.

hyperionangel

if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money

wholesomemes-archive

glumshoe

Cute barista was talking to me about Star Trek and when my hot coffee spilled out over my hands due to a malformed lid, I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation and ignored it. I just stood there talking with my skin burning until she asked, “….Don’t you want to put your hands under cold water?”

Yes… yes I do.

glumshoe

This is like the time when this guy was watching Avatar: The Last Airbender in the student lounge at 3 AM. He invited me to watch it with him, but as I walked over I ripped a massive gash in my leg on the side of the table and just… turned so he couldn’t see the blood while I stood and watched the end of the episode with him, because I didn’t want to walk out of the good conversation we were having.

slinkanora

You… have very little drive for survival.

glumshoe

I mean… I’d argue with you, but one time I passed out and had convulsions from an intramuscular injection. I didn’t know what was happening, but I felt Very Very Bad and crawled out of my room to look for my housemate. The only person home was my friend Kate, but she was taking a bubble bath and I didn’t want to interrupt her relaxation time. I lay down on the carpet outside the bathroom and said, “When you’re done in there, I may need your help with a medical issue.” She was of course very alarmed and started to rush out to help me, but I tried to convince her to take her time and finish her bath first.

I definitely thought I was dying but, to my addled brain, it seemed really rude to inconvenience her with a medical emergency. (I was fine.)

catchymemes

anachronic-cobra

This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

One Christmas Eve I talked about my friend sleeping on the couch when we were kids to try to see Santa, and my young cousin decided HE wanted to sleep on the couch to see Santa, and as he said this to me, my uncle was behind him, desperately signaling at me to somehow dissuade him and I panicked and just looked at him very calmly and said

“it’s too dangerous to try to look at santa.”

“why?”

“well how fast do you think he has to be moving to get all over the world in one night? he’s so fast and full of magic, if you look at santa directly, your eyes burn out.”

My Uncle nodded at me like “yeah that’ll work.”

It did.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

yeah here it is

verysmallgirl

what doesn’t kill you makes you weird at parties

filmgifs

Tessa Thompson as Agent M in Men in Black International (2019)

this dude fucks

acoustic surfing

An B….

clearly he originally had “an A” and then decided that was asking too much

genntrygenntry

True

dykeshatterstar-remade

farmcontent

just wondering why we don’t hold more public dances as a culture? why can’t i invite my crush out to a waltz? i already go to square and contra dances and i love the culture of them so much like yeah i will go to a bar to do western swing and two step stuff but that just lacks the ambiance that a contra or square has and like… the contra and square lack romance… also like, what about latin dancing? why can’t we all just dance together? idk i think dancing makes me feel so happy and good and connected and positive about my body and i just want more more more and i’m really hype to share that with other people!!